Chapter 1: The End of Denial

It happened slowly, gradually, throughout the years. It was so slow that Sokka hadn't even noticed; by the time he had, the transformation was well underway. Two years after Sozin's Comet and the end of the war, Sokka noticed something strange about his body. While the rest of his friends in Water Tribe were finally growing big, strong bodies, his remained small and petite. In fact, he swore that he has gotten smaller than what he used to be. His voice used to be cracky with change, but it's now high and smooth—like a woman. That wasn't easy for him to admit. The other men got broad jaws, angular faces, his face grew gentle and round. He was teased once that Katara and him were beginning to look more like sisters than brother and sister. Once. Despite his stature, despite how delicate he may look, he's still the best of the young fighters in the Southern Water Tribe.

While the other guys went into sweat lodges shirtless, he had to come up with excuses to avoid them. At first, it was just random pains. He barely thought about it, but then he noticed the tenderness gave way to unexpected growth.

Bandages didn't help. There was only so much they could do, so he took to wearing baggy clothes. He frowned as he stood in his tent, looking down at himself. Touching his chest, his hand met his breast. Instead of a flat, strong pectoral muscle, he felt something round, soft, and fleshy. He shivered and swallowed hard. Biting his lower lip, he quickly through on a baggy tunic and a coat. This wasn't right. Something has gone horribly wrong. Ignoring it wasn't making it go away.

He slumped, clenching a fist at his side. "Dammit."

He wished that this wasn't happening. He wished that it would stop. But in the back of his mind, he knew that it wasn't even over. His body was changing. Even now. As he stood there, alone in that tent, he blocked out the sound of people walking by outside and the laughter of children. He closed his eyes and the ten stretched out to infinity. Nothing but solid ice beneath his feet. He could feel it. Inside.

"Sokka," a woman's voice called him back to reality. Sokka's frustrated brow ascended into relief as Suki walked into the tent. "You're taking your time getting ready this morning."

Sokka turned to look at the young woman. Suki had gotten taller and a bit tougher-looking in the last two years. Clear muscle tone could be seen on her arms. Despite living in the Southern Water Tribe, she still wore Earth Kingdom colors, but on a Water Tribe style tunic. He didn't like admitting it, but she was taller than him and looked stronger. Still, she was beautiful and he hated feeling jealous.

"I was just thinking," he said.

Suki gave a slight smile. "You've been doing that a lot lately."

"When haven't I done a lot of thinking?"

She gave a light burst of laughter. "I suppose." Her smile faded when she looked back to him, but saw him avoided her eyes. "Seriously, though… You haven't been yourself for a while. I haven't heard you crack a pun in at least three months."

"We've been through this," Sokka said.

Walking over to him, Suki looked down at him and took a second to analyze the difference in their heights. "You're a late bloomer, that's all. You'll get a growth spurt and be just as big as the other guys pretty soon."

"No, I won't."

"Sure you will! You just—"

Sokka took a step forward and glared up at her. "No, I won't." There was silence for a moment. "Something's wrong."

Suki gave him a smile. "I really do think…" She trailed off, catching the sting of Sokka's eye.

He sighed. "I know and I appreciate it, but it just isn't the case. Something is actually wrong." He hesitated. How could he not? He stood there with his hands on his tunic for a moment before he opened it and revealed his bandaged chest.

Suki stared. She didn't move or even react. Not at first, at least. After a moment, she took a step back and looked almost as if she was about to collapse from shock. Sokka began to rush forward, but she put up a hand.

"When did this happen?"

Sokka kept his eyes on her, making sure she was really alright. "Not all at once. It was…slow. A process. I didn't really think anything was wrong until…"

"Until you started growing breasts?"

He looked away. "Yeah."

"Nothing else tipped you off?"

His eyes snapped back to her. "Did you notice anything?"

"Well… When I think back, sure."

"Hindsight doesn't count. Anything seems obvious in hindsight." Sokka said, shaking his head. His eye lids suddenly felt heavy. "I don't know what I am. Whatever it is… It isn't a man."

Suki tried to regain her composure, she seemed to mostly succeed. "Are you completely a woman?"

Sokka cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

She sighed and shifted her weight from one foot and back again. "You know… A woman."

His eyes suddenly dawned with realization and then widened with horror. "Oh… Oh! No, no! I'm still a man where it counts!"

Relief seemed to wash over the woman. "Okay, well there's at least that."

Sokka looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I'm not a woman yet, at least. If I'm being honest, I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one day without it at this rate."

Suki stepped to Sokka and put her hands on his shoulders and looked down at him. "Have you told anyone else about this?"

Blushing a bit with embarrassment, he responded, "Are you kidding me? I have my pride as a man, you know."

"Yeah, pride as a man: as you stand there with breasts and a face that the men call beautiful behind your back."

Sokka, now flushed with anger, said, "There's no way any of the men said anything like that. They're men I know for a fact don't prefer the company of men."

Rubbing her forehead, Suki said, "That's just the point, right? You look like a woman. They're attracted to women. It has to be really confusing for them." Waving her hand, she continued, "That's not even the point. The point is that your pride is hollow when your reputation and life are at risk. You should have gone to Aang as soon as you realized something was wrong."

"He's busy. Busy being…the Avatar!"

Suki didn't look convinced. "You're best friends. Talk to him. Tell him the truth. If there's anyone who can figure this out, it's him."

There was another moment of silence before Sokka said, "You know, you're taking this pretty well."

Putting her hands on her hips, Suki said, "Only because I love and care about you. I'm more worried than angry right now, but I can assure you that I will be plenty angry later when Aang fixes this mess."

"We don't even know if he can fix it."

At that, Suki's flash of anger turned to fear and then sadness. She looked away and took a few steps toward the opening of the tent. "He better, Sokka. Honestly, he better. I love you, I really do, but I can't be with another woman."

Sokka watched her leave the tent. Left to himself, Sokka stood quietly for a moment before putting his hair up into his expected wolf tail. Suddenly, he felt self-conscious of the feel of the short hair on the sides of his head. He hesitated before dropping his hands back to his sides and only offered a brief thought and what that self-consciousness could mean before walking his way out into the brisk air.

Surprisingly, mainly to himself, Sokka took Suki's advice to heart and sent a letter to Aang with Hawky. The hawk had been eventually returned to him by Toph's parents. He expected that Momo wouldn't be happy to see Hawky again, but he hoped the two would get along until Aang sent his reply. In the meantime, Sokka busied himself with drilling the younger soldiers and attending strategy meetings with his father. As tight-lipped as he had been with his situation, he was becoming more aware of the people giving him odd looks and the whispers on the breaths of a few generals. Hakoda himself remained the same father he had always been around Sokka, except for a rare concerned glance.

After one meeting, he happened to catch Hakoda giving him a look. Sokka hit the ground with his palm, which caught his father's attention. "Can you stop being coy? Do you have something you want to ask me?" He remained seated on the ice, looking at his father's back.

Hakoda was just about leaving the tent, but the bang made him stop. He turned and smiled as he said, "Nothing in particular." He let his hand drop from the fur of the door, closing off the outside world. "Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"I'm just…out of sorts," Sokka said, crossing his arms. "The war is all I've known. It's been going on my whole life. I'm not entirely sure how to live in this new, peaceful world." All of this was the truth, but he was avoiding the subject.

The chief walked over and put his hand on Sokka's shoulder with a look of pity. "It's a new concept that many people of every generation are currently struggling with—you're not alone." He gestures at the mats arranged in a circle in the tent. "Some of the generals still don't trust the Fire Nation. They're worried that Fire Lord Zuko will become his father's son."

Sokka shook his head and finally stood up. "No way Zuko would ever betray Aang." He put up his hand before his father could respond. "Honestly, I'm not entirely sure that I like the guy, but I trust him." The concerned look in his father's eyes returned, but only for a second, but Sokka still caught it. "What is it?"

Hakoda slumped a bit and sighed. "Are you still my son?"

Sokka's eyes widened with fear and he asked, "What… What do you mean?"

The chief turned on his heel and took a step away, rubbing the back of his head. "You're just so serious these days. You're reminding me more of your mother these days."

Blushing lightly, even though he didn't understand why, Sokka said, "I've just been going through some things. Maybe it's because Aang and Katara have been gone for a while."

Smiling over his shoulder, Hadoka said, "You always did rely a lot on Katara." He looked back to the opening of the tent and watched the fur pelt wave around in the wind. "But every man needs to grow up one day and learn to stand on his own. You'll have a wife soon, so you'll need to learn to support her."

Sokka gave a chuckle. "Suki can take care of herself."

At that, his father turned suddenly and crossed his arms. "None of that. Sure, she's tough. Got to give the girl credit, she's a hell of a fighter. At the end of the day, though, she's a woman and women appreciate being taken care of—get it?"

Sokka gave a forced smile. "I get it."

Hadoka put his arm around Sokka's neck and smiled down at him. "Also, don't let your spars with a few recruits and peers disillusion you. You're letting yourself get too small. Work out those thin arms, okay?"

There was a pang of frustration from Sokka's chest, but he smiled and nudged his father in the stomach. "Like you can talk. Getting a bit pudgy."

"Hey!" he said with a laugh. "I'm an important man now. Lots of sitting around talking, unfortunately." He cleared his throat and continued, "Besides, it's a part of getting older. You'll find out some day."

"Not for a long time, hopefully," Sokka said.

Walking his son out through the fur pelt, the chief said, "Well, it happens sooner than you think."

Just as the two are sharing a laugh, a soldier runs up to them and salutes Chief Hakoda. By the looks of him, he sprinted all the way across the village. Through a gasping breath, the soldier said, "Sir! The Avatar has just arrived with your daughter."

At this, the chief perked. "Oh, really? Unlike Avatar Aang to arrive unannounced."

He waved the soldier to proceed and he followed the man to the outskirts of the village, near the docks. Sokka followed him, lagging a bit behind. Suddenly, a feeling gnawed at his heart. It made him nervous. Almost like the day of the eclipse and the Siege on the Fire Nation Capital. It wasn't a feeling he was familiar with outside of the battlefield. Fear nipped at his heels as he caught sight of Appa. He should feel happy and a relief to see that Katara was well.

Katara was there, standing beside Aang and Appa. She had grown a bit taller and her face had aged into womanhood, but her stance reflected the same confident personality that Sokka had always known. Aang was much taller than two years ago. He gained a lanky, agile physique to compliment his light way of moving, but there was no mistaking that dumb smirk on his face.

Hakoda got there first and shook Aang's hand and gave Katara a giant bear hug, lifting her off her feet. He laughed and said, "My, you look more like your mother than ever."

Katara smiled and giggled. "Thank you, Dad."

He eyed Aang and asked, "You've been taking care of her, right?" Dropping his daughter to her feet gently, he turned to him with his arms crossed. "No funny business?"

Katara turned dark red. "Dad!"

Looking caught off guard, Aang just laughed nervously, but then caught himself and coughed before he said, "Of course not, sir. I swear on my honor as a monk!"

The chief stood there staring him down for a good minute before slapping his hand over his face and giving a hearty laugh. "Your face! I can't believe it." Before Aang could respond, Hakoda slapped him on the back. "As far as I'm concerned, you're already family, kid. Don't worry."

Katara managed to blush even more. "Dad…"

Clearing his throat, Sokka stepped forward. "Hey, guys! Long time no see."

Aang and Katara both looked at Sokka and blinked, almost as if they couldn't recognize him, but then their eyes brightened with realization. Katara walked over and looked down at her younger brother. "Sokka…"

Joining Katara at her side, Aang said, "You really weren't kidding. He looks…"

Hakoda raised an eyebrow. "What's all this about? Did you call them back here, Sokka?" He walked over to him, looking stern. "You know that Avatar Aang is a busy man, you know."

Aang smiled at the chief and said, "That may be true, but I always make time for my friends—especially when they need my help."

At this, Hakoda looked down at his son once again with concern and with a bit of pain. "You weren't completely truthful to me."

"I…didn't lie," Sokka said.

This technicality didn't seem to matter to his father.

"So you suspected something was wrong?" Aang asked.

Katara waved her hand on Sokka. "How couldn't he?"

Aang sighed and said, "You haven't been here every day, Katara. It's harder to notice gradual changes when you see something all the time."

"Exactly," Suki said as she approached the group. Pointing behind her with her thumb, she said, "Some of the guards told me that you guys were back."

Aang gawked for a moment before he said, "Whoa, Suki! You…look strong."

Katara elbowed him. "You do look like you've been taking your training seriously, Suki. You must have been very worried about my brother."

Cocking an eyebrow, Sokka asked, "What's that have to do with anything? Suki is a warrior. It's only natural for her to be strong."

Chief Hakoda looked at the sky and crossed his arms. "Nothing motivates a warrior to become stronger like the sense of needing to protect someone they love."

Looking at Suki, Sokka looked at her for confirmation. She couldn't meet his eyes. Her eyebrows narrowed as Sokka said, "I don't need protecting. I'm also a warrior, Suki. I can hold my own."

"Against new soldiers and soldiers who know better than to hurt the son of the chief," Suki said.

Sokka flushed and his eyes flashed. "That's not true."

The Avatar held up his hand, which was strangely effective at disrupting the developing scene. "Let's take this discussion to somewhere private." He turned to Hakoda. "I'm sure you're confused, sir. There's a lot going on and I'm sure Sokka will explain everything."

Hakoda nodded. "I'm sure he will." He looked at his son and continued, "But I would have preferred that you had told me earlier and not have gotten the Avatar involved."

Aang said, "All do respect, sir, but this may be a problem that I can only solve."

The chief looked at the Avatar in the eye for a second and then nodded. "Very well."