AN: I think that few things are more romantic than standing by the one you love, through good times and bad.
With that in mind, I came up with this little story for Valentine's.
Written for Love in Panem's Valentine's Day Challenge on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy.
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Love is... facing the world together.
The eerie howls of vicious mutts pierced the air.
Katniss ran.
Sprigs and branches scratched her face and pierced her skin, trying to trap her as she desperately made her way through the woods.
She had almost reached the clearing when she heard them again.
The blood-thirsty creatures wailed, screeching her name as they followed her steps.
She reached the cornucopia, practically crashing against its metallic surface, and turned around looking for Peeta.
He wasn't there.
Frantic, she tried to call out his name. But the darkness of the arena enveloped her, pushing her words down her throat and drowning her in its terrifying depths.
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Katniss woke with a start.
Her chest heaved, and her heartbeat pounded in her ears as she tried to figure out where she was.
As the fog of sleep lifted, the dark, menacing forest was replaced by solid walls covered in flowery wallpaper and delicate curtains that billowed under a gentle spring breeze.
Victor's Village.
Slowly, Katniss began to relax. Her heartbeat slowed down, and she stretched her arms and legs, allowing her body to sink into the mattress.
As her fear dissipated and the effect of adrenaline wore off, she noticed the dull pain in her limbs.
Every muscle in her body ached.
She huffed. Annoyed by the unwelcome reminder of Peeta's rigorous training regimen.
Peeta.
His name was still lodged in her throat. It had been trapped there ever since President Snow had announced the rules for the upcoming Quarter Quell, and it looked like it was going to stay there forever.
Over the last few days, the initial shock and anguish she'd felt over being sent back to the arena had been replaced by a slow burning rage directed towards the world. Or, to be more precise, towards Peeta.
The district partner she had once considered her friend had turned into a stranger in front of her eyes.
As unlikely as it seemed, the sweet, caring boy who held her hand in the City Circle was gone. He had been swallowed by a strict trainer who barely spoke to her. A determined career who was bent on strengthening her body; even when it meant breaking her heart.
Angry tears filled her eyes as she recalled the way he'd spoken to her that morning, barely acknowledging her presence as he insisted they had to run 3 miles in less than 30 minutes to reach their goal.
What goal is that, she wondered, dying of exhaustion before I'm reaped?
The strange thing was that the change in Peeta's attitude hadn't changed her mind. She was as determined to keep him safe as she'd ever been.
She knew President Snow wanted her dead. The special provision for the Quarter Quell was nothing more than a ruse to get rid of her as publicly and swiftly as possible. But she stubbornly clung to the belief that, once she was out of the picture, Peeta might be spared.
It was the one thing that kept her going. The thought that she wasn't going to die in vain. Because, even if she was doomed, Peeta still had a shot.
But the heartbreak she felt whenever she woke up, scared and alone in the middle of the night, was beginning to take its toll.
Different versions of the same nightmare invaded her thoughts every night. No matter how the dreams started, they all ended in the same way. With her, desperately looking for a Peeta who seemed bent on vanishing into thin air.
Tired and frustrated, she turned to lie on her side.
A soft breeze slipped through the small crack of her open window and caressed her cheeks.
Hoping to keep the late-night chill at bay, Katniss burrowed under the covers. But her soft quilt failed to provide the warmth she craved. She scowled. Disappointment building up inside her like the pressure in a dam.
"Enough!" she snapped at the empty room.
Resolved to stop feeling sorry for herself, Katniss jumped out of bed and grabbed her robe.
Noiselessly, she went down the stairs and slipped on the pair of trainers she always kept by the door.
The pale moon followed her steps as she stealthily made her way to Peeta's house. She climbed the few steps to his front door and knocked.
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Peeta's loud footfalls announced his approach. "Coming."
The door swung open.
Katniss had barely identified the outline of Peeta's shoulders when she threw herself at him; wrapping her arms tightly around his neck before he had time to react and push her away.
Surprised, Peeta stilled. After a moment of hesitation, he lowered his arms, holding Katniss in a tight embrace.
Enveloped by Peeta's warmth, Katniss relaxed. Her arms slid from his neck and moved under his arms, wrapping around his back.
She tightened her hold on him, pressing her face against his chest and filling her lungs with Peeta's familiar scent. The sound of his heart, beating at a mad pace against her cheek, brought a smile to her lips.
Peeta's open palms rubbed soothing patterns on her back. "What's wrong?"
"I miss you," she grumbled into the soft t-shirt he slept in.
"You saw me this morning."
She shook her head against his chest. "No, I didn't."
Confused, Peeta pulled back. "Katniss? Look at me."
She did as he asked, loosening her hold on him just enough to look into his eyes. They were bloodshot and tired, looking at her with a sad kind of longing which touched her heart.
It made her wonder how much he'd been sleeping lately.
Peeta frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"I haven't seen you for weeks," she groused, sounding like a petulant child.
"What?"
"Yeah! Since the Quarter Quell was announced. You… just… disappeared! You left me with Haymitch and that… that obnoxious trainer who yells at me to run faster every morning."
Peeta's eyes hardened.
Katniss fisted his t-shirt in her hands, afraid that he was going to push her away. But he didn't. Instead, he dug his fingers into her arms and said, "That obnoxious trainer is here to make sure you'll make it back home to your family after the Game."
"No, he isn't!" Katniss countered, scowling as though her life depended on it.
Maybe it did.
Undeterred by Katniss's menacing frown, Peeta squared his jaw. "Katniss, come on! We don't have time to play games anymore. In three more months, you'll be back in an arena. You need to be prepared!" he yelled, finally letting go of her arms and pushing her away from him to cross his arms over his chest.
With the sting of his latest rejection coursing through her veins, she yelled back, "You think I don't know that? That I don't think about it every minute of every day?"
Silence followed.
Katniss's words hung in the air between them; a sobering reminder of what their situation really was. A waking nightmare.
Exhausted, Katniss sighed. Her shoulders slumped as she released her pent-up frustration.
A gust of wind swirled around her making her shiver. Defeated, she wrapped her arms around herself and lowered her eyes to the ground.
Peeta's feet, one artificial, one flesh, peeking out from under his pajama pants, caught her attention.
We've already lost so much, she thought.
Her voice was sad and weak in the cold dark night. "The truth is… I'm terrified. I know I need to train. But, more than anything, I need to have my friend back."
"Katniss-" Peeta whispered.
"Why do you think I survived the arena?" she interrupted, turning to face him once more. "Because I was prepared?" She shook her head. "I wasn't. Because I can shoot straight and forage? That helped," she admitted with a little shrug.
Slowly, she reached out and grabbed his forearm. Squeezing gently, she said, "I never would have made it out of there without you."
Peeta looked at her hand on his arm and shook his head. "That's not true. I endangered you more than I helped."
Katniss's fierce scowl reappeared as she countered his words. "No, you didn't!" Using the fingers of her free hand, she counted the events on her list. "You mislead the careers, you pushed me away from the tracker jacker nest, and you fought Cato to protect me!"
Peeta closed his eyes. His shoulders slumped as he let out a tired sigh. "I also weighed you down. Clove almost killed you because of me, and you couldn't hunt properly because I scared all the game away, remember?" he asked, opening his eyes and locking them with hers.
Katniss shook her head. "You kept me sane," she insisted, "I would have gone crazy without you by my side! You gave me a purpose, Peeta, a reason to start moving again. I don't think I would have recovered from Rue's death if you hadn't been there," she whispered.
A sad, lonely tear escaped her eye at the mention of Rue. She hastily wiped it away.
Gently, Peeta reached out and cupped her cheek forcing her to look at him. "Even if that were true, I've still brought you a lot of trouble, Katniss. Why can't you see that?"
She shrugged. "Maybe… it's because I've brought you trouble too. I got you beat up when we were kids. You lost your leg because I didn't use the right tourniquet, and now… Your name is going into a reaping ball because I failed. No wonder you hate me," she muttered looking away.
"Stop. I don't hate you, and you know it." Peeta's voice was as soft as a caress. "And you didn't fail. Whatever's happening out there… it's bigger than us. You know that, right?"
It was like being hit by a bolt of lightning. Awakened by Peeta's words, a long forgotten memory jumped back into Katniss's mind.
She gasped, nervously glancing around, suddenly weary of having this conversation in the middle of his entrance hall with the front door wide open.
Her mind raced as she tried to remember if their yelling match had included anything particularly incriminating.
Don't worry about that now, she told herself, what's done is done. It's best to push forward.
Tilting her head towards the back of the house, she asked, "Show me your backyard?"
Looking at her through narrowed eyes, Peeta nodded. Without a word, he pushed the front door closed and pointed to the hallway. "After you."
Katniss lead the way.
She had never been to Peeta's house before, but his floor plan was identical to hers. She knew the long corridor would take them directly to the back porch.
Her curious eyes wandered over Peeta's furnishings as she walked past the various rooms. She couldn't believe how different his house was from hers.
Unlike the heavy, formal furniture her mother had bought, Peeta had found pieces that were elegant and delicate. The soft earth tones and beautiful artwork made the spaces warm and welcoming. She briefly wondered how he had managed to create such a soothing balance between luxury and sobriety using the catalogs the Capitol provided.
A sudden flash of guilt gripped her. How was it possible that she'd never been there before?
Let it go, she told herself, there's nothing you can do about that now.
After opening the back door, Katniss stepped out into the porch.
A rattan love seat at the far side of the veranda called out to her. She reached out for Peeta's hand and led him there.
"You have a beautiful home," she said once they'd sat down.
A small smile curved his lips. "Thanks. Portia helped."
"She did?"
"Yeah. She's been a great friend."
Katniss nodded. She hadn't spent a lot of time with Portia, but she knew Peeta's stylist was a good person. Cinna wouldn't respect her so much if she weren't.
"So…" Peeta tugged at the hand Katniss had firmly interlaced with his. "What's on your mind?"
Katniss cleared her throat. "Remember the day I slipped on that patch of ice?"
Peeta leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. His tired eyes found hers. "When the peacekeepers were waiting for you?"
She nodded.
"What about it?" he asked.
Moving to mimic his posture, Katniss aligned her body with his.
"There's a cabin out on the woods," she explained, "About an hour away from here. My father used to take me there when I was little." Katniss closed her eyes and pressed her lips together as she tried to collect her thoughts.
Peeta's thumb drew circles on her hand reminding her that she was not alone.
As clearly as possible, she told him about her adventure that day. Making her way through the snow, reaching the cabin, finding Bonnie and Twill, sharing her food with them and listening to their tale of uprisings and retaliation.
Peeta's eyes widened at Katniss's story. "They bombed the factory?"
"Yeah."
"And District 13… Is that why you kept watching those news reports? To see if they were right?"
"She nodded:"
"And?" he prompted.
"Their story checks out," she said, "I saw the footage, Peeta. Reporters use the same backdrop every time."
Peeta considered her words. "Even if that's the case… That doesn't necessarily mean that District 13 survived. Maybe they don't want to send their reporters there because they're afraid of the toxic waste."
"Yeah, that's... pretty much what Haymitch said when I told him."
With a tired sigh, Peeta turned his gaze up to the sky. A million stars pierced the dark looking back.
Katniss waited, her heart pounding against her ribcage as she waited for Peeta to react to her words. A part of her worried that he might be upset about finding out he had been left out of an important conversation, yet again.
Finally, he turned back to her. The anger she'd feared was nowhere to be found. "What else did he say?" he asked.
She told him everything. About the acts of rebellion in District 11, the riots in District 7, the shortage of fish from District 4. All the information she'd locked inside her chest spilled from her lips, bringing relief to her weary soul and tightening the bond between them with the strength of her trust.
"He also said it was useless to fight," she continued, "He thinks District 12 is too small and weak. That we'll only accomplish something if everyone bands together. But with Commander Thread in control, that's never going to happen," she groused.
The familiar weight of defeat settled on her shoulders as she remembered Haymitch's words. She hated feeling so hopeless, but she couldn't figure out what to do.
Peeta's voice broke through her sad thoughts. "How does Haymitch know all of this?"
She shrugged. She had been so disheartened when her mentor quashed her hopes for a rebellion that she hadn't thought to ask.
"And we're back to the secrets again," Peeta grumbled.
Tired and discouraged, she closed the small distance between them and rested her cheek on his shoulder. Her eyes fell on their linked hands, and she smiled.
At least we're together again, she thought.
In the quiet stillness of the night, the soft sound of Peeta's steady breathing soothed her. The heat emanating from his body kept her warm.
She was about to close her eyes, eager to lose herself in the comfort of Peeta's proximity when he spoke once more. "He's scared."
"Haymitch?"
Peeta shook his head. "President Snow." Turning to look at her, he said, "Think about it, Katniss. What did he say when he announced the Quarter Quell?"
She pulled away from him, narrowing her eyes as she tried to recall the president's words. "That even the strongest among us cannot overcome the power of the Capitol," she repeated.
"Exactly! And he's using ALL the remaining victors to prove his point."
Katniss straightened up. Her mind raced as she struggled to keep up with Peeta's train of thought.
"We know our stunt with the berries was considered an act of defiance," he said, "But, what if there were others?"
"Others?"
"Yeah! Others who defied the Capitol's power in some way."
Katniss stared at Peeta, her lips slightly parted as she processed his words. The notion was so simple she couldn't believe she hadn't thought about it before. The odds of her being the first tribute to think outside of the box in 74 years were pretty slim.
"And you think he's trying to punish them… by reaping them again?" she asked.
"Yeah." Peeta's blue eyes suddenly lit up as an idea formed in his mind. "Remember our Victory Tour?"
Katniss nodded. How could she forget those dreadful days?
Her heart sank as the memories played back in her mind. A thousand images of stern, disappointed faces looking back at her from the crowd.
She could still feel the resentment of their stares, the harsh judgment in their eyes, the unequivocal anger fueled by the sense of betrayal which had haunted her wherever she went.
"How many victors did we meet?" Peeta asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.
Katniss frowned. "None."
"Don't you find that's odd? How many times have you seen footage of victors partying together?"
"Too many to count," Katniss huffed.
Peeta raised his eyebrows. "See what I mean?"
A small smile turned Katniss's lips. She knew where he was going with this. President Snow had gone to great lengths to ensure she behaved during her Tour.
Blinded by her fear, she had failed to understand what was happening until it was too late. But Peeta was right. This rebellion was moving on, with or without her. It was gaining strength. And victors, with their privileged status and connections, were in a perfect position do some damage. Some of them probably hated the Capitol even more than she did.
"So, President Snow kept us away from the other victors on purpose?" she asked.
"Yeah. I think he was afraid of what they could tell us." A moment later, he added, "I'm pretty sure that's where Haymitch's been getting his information from."
Katniss shook her head, angry at herself for having let Haymitch off the hook without an explanation. "That makes sense," she admitted.
Peeta huffed, his voice tight as he said, "It's this annoying habit of his. He never tells us everything, always hanging on to some extra bit of information.
"I understand it, I mean, he's been on his own for a long while. But he's not alone anymore! We're supposed to be a team, and it's very hard to trust him when he's constantly acting behind our backs," he complained.
Katniss lowered her eyes to the ground. For some strange reason, Haymitch had confided in her more times than he had in Peeta. She had never understood why. Peeta was far more analytical than she was. Talking to him always made things clearer for her, he encouraged her to think out of the box.
Maybe that's why Haymitch doesn't want to confide in him, she thought. He doesn't want someone questioning him, or offering alternatives that don't fit with his plans.
Determined to get to the heart of the matter, Katniss said, "I don't know what he's keeping from us this time. But he'd better start talking! I'm tired of being lied to."
"We'll go see him tomorrow morning," Peeta promised, "And we won't leave until we're satisfied he's told us everything we need to know."
Katniss smiled, enjoying the happy pitter-patter of her heart. This visit had gone a lot better than she'd expected.
Encouraged by Peeta's promise she shyly asked, "You'll stay with me then?"
Gently, he squeezed her hand. "You know I will."
She reached for his forehead. Tenderly, she brushed a blond wave away from his face.
Peeta smiled. A moment later, his expression clouded over and his eyes grew serious. "We still need to train, Katniss."
"I know, "she assured him, "And I promise to stay focused. But, after training, could we just spend some time together, like… tonight?"
The sadness in his eyes nearly broke her in half. "I'd love that but, what about Prim, though. And Gale? I'm sure you'd rather spend some time with them."
Katniss scowled. "I'll still be spending time with Prim," she said tightly.
Peeta nodded and slowly turned away. She hadn't given him a full answer, but she could tell he wasn't going to press for more.
Swallowing thickly, Katniss steeled herself for what she was about to do. Peeta deserved her honesty. It was time she stopped running from the truth.
"Gale is my friend," she said, "and I'll be with him whenever I can, but he's not…"
Words stuck in her throat. With a deep breath, she forced them out.
"We're not what we once were," she admitted, "I don't share everything with him anymore. I do miss our time together, our hunting. But that's all gone now."
Sadness washed over her as the truth she had refused to accept broke free from her chest. "He's a miner. I'm a victor. We don't really understand each other anymore."
Unable to stop the words from spilling out, she murmured, "I don't need him. He's not who I want."
Exhausted, she turned to look at the sky. She felt so small all of a sudden, sitting on that porch swing surrounded by the dark.
Peeta's voice was barely above a whisper, "He's not?"
Katniss shook her head.
Trembling fingers reached her chin. Gently, Peeta turned her face, forcing her to look at him. "Are you sure about that, Katniss?"
Warmth rushed through her, heating her veins and overpowering her every thought.
A part of her wanted to run, to reach the fence and keep going. But she knew it was pointless. Peeta was a part of her and, wherever she went, she would never be free of the need she felt for him.
She'd spent weeks longing, hurting, for Peeta's touch. She craved the sound of his voice and needed the comfort of his arms as much as she needed air. Her days were miserable and dreary when she didn't share them with him.
She didn't know how much time she had left, but it wasn't much, and she refused to spend it pining for something when she could simply have it instead.
Determined to stop wasting time, Katniss leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Peeta's lips.
Surprised, Peeta pulled back. His free hand reached to cup her cheek, keeping her close to him as he looked into her eyes.
Her whole body tingled at the feel of his warm palm on her skin.
He didn't speak, but his unanswered question hung in the air between them, blanketing his eyes in an uncertainty which threatened to break her heart.
Desperate to ease his pain, she answered, "I am. I'm sure."
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A few months later, Finnick Odair approached Katniss Everdeen in the tribute training center.
With a seductive voice, the handsome victor introduced himself. He offered her sugar cubes and talked about secrets.
Right before leaving, he leaned into her as if to kiss her cheek. Instead, he whispered, "See you later, Mockingjay."
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AN: Reviews are as comforting as Peeta's embrace. It always makes my day when you share them with me. Thanks!
You can also find me on Tumblr. I'm javistg over there, come and say hi!
The Hunger Games Trilogy is the property of Suzanne Collins. No money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.