Homestar Runner

The Movie

Chapter 1

In the basement of Strong Bad's house, sits a couch. On the couch lays a man. That man is Strong Bad.

"Eh… Mario… Mario Paint… F… F-Zero…" mumbles a sleeping Strong Bad as he lays upon the orange couch with a gray patch on the right upper corner.

The Cheat awakens Strong Bad with a nudge that throws him off the couch and onto the floor, face-up. "What… wha… The Cheat," says a dazed Strong Bad, "what do you want?!" The Cheat mumbles some words in Cheat Talk and is soon silenced. As Strong Bad lifts his torso off of the ground, he noticed that the Cheat is missing and a note is attached to his forehead. After a minute of staring at the piece of paper on his head, he pulled it off and read it out loud. "What the… what is this? 'Mr. Strong…' Wai wai wait. We have a serious problem right here, letter-writing guy. My name is Mr. Bad, but I shall continue. 'We have captured teH ChEaT (signed by The Cheat). In order to get teH ChEaT (another one of The Cheat's signatures) back, you will need to put the Lappy 486 in front of your steps at precisely… now.' What the? They want the Lappy? But… but… I… NO! Does The Cheat really mean that much to me? Hmm…" Strong Bad pauses for about 5 seconds, "nope." He throws the paper behind him and walks away.

Before Strong Bad can walk entirely away, Homestar walks up to him. "Hey, Stwong Bad! Have you seen… my… cupcakes? They're missing. I left them at your computer desk and…" He is cut off by Strong Bad.

"Wha… what?" Strong Bad says quickly, pretending to be surprised and not hearing what Homestar had been saying, "oh, um… Homestar, I uh… you know… I have to like… save The Cheat and stuff so… if you could… maybe… just… go away forever? That would be appreciated."

"Aw wight. Sounds like a deal to me!" Homestar exits.

Strong Bad rethinks his first thoughts, "Well… if it means not being around Dumbface here… I think I'll save The Cheat." Strong Bad starts to walk off but stops and his eyes get big. "Wait! What about my Lappy?!"

The scene cuts to Strong Bad's laptop. He starts typing and talks to himself. "I guess I outta checka my e-mails first." He presses enter and up comes an e-mail.

'Dear Strong BAd,

how come i likes a boy and he likes me back none much thanks x10

Lindsay, ID'

Strong Bad starts his response in typing an e-mail back. "Wow. That is all I can say to you, Lindsay Id. I'm surprised you could actually figure out how to write an e-mail, yet alone actually type it with correct grammar. Well, if I'm countin' my potatoes right, I can assume that this guy doesn't like you because… well… you're an idiot; simply put. Maybe it's because you don't know what the word 'shift' means half the time. It could also be that you are so freaking demanding, sister! I mean: 'much thanks x10?' Come on. What, do you want me to type this out ten times for you? I could do it, but you'd probably ask how I could type with boxing gloves on my hands, and in return, you get a big ol' 'deleted' slapped in your face." Strong Bad presses return to get a new screen of typing space. "Look, all I'm saying is: pay attention in English class. I did! And look where I am now: a handsome, beefy dude… with boxing gloves." Strong Bad then signs the e-mail. "Not giving you a serious answer until you give me a serious question, Strong Bad."

All of a sudden, all of the lights in the house go off and the Lappy shuts down. "What the?" says Strong Bad.

Homestar walks on from the right. "Ow."

"What are you complaining about, Dumbface?" asks Strong Bad in the pitch black.

"Never touch… the circuit bweaker… with… a scwew dwiver… that's on fire."

"Um… yeah… now go fix it."