Carly/Griffen; implied drug use.
Under the Sheets by Ellie Goulding.
I own nothing and will never claim to.
In our house made of paper, your words all over me.
She vaguely remembers a time where she could live without him, when his touch wasn't tattooed on her skin, when a needle wasn't in her arm.
Her life before him was a distant memory that she knew existed but couldn't quite grasp. She lived for rendezvous in her bedroom and chaste kisses along her inner thighs as she pleaded for more, more, more.
She'd always been a "good" girl- weak and obedient, always doing what she was told and not what she truly wanted, saying what people wanted to hear and not what she wanted to say. But not anymore, not ever again. She had tasted freedom and she wasn't ever going back to the girl she used to be.
He took one look at her and just knew that she was dying to break free, dying to be free of the mold she'd been cast in.
She took one look at him and just knew he'd be her ticket to happiness and adventures she never knew existed, no matter what it cost.
They were quite an odd pair in the sense that a girly girl such as herself, a girl who followed all the rules and wanted to be liked would never seem to go for his type. People would whisper about how she deserved a guy on her level who respected the rules society had set up and didn't rebel against them. They would tell her that she deserved a better guy, a happy go-getter like Freddie or even Brad, not a social outcast "bad boy" like Griffen.
But she wanted Griffen, she loved Griffen. It was as if she couldn't live without him. No matter what people said or what they thought, no matter how badly he broke her heart or her trust, she couldn't just give him up. She couldn't just escape their little bubble of co-dependence and become her own person, not if it meant being without him.
She would never admit that being on edge and on the run all the time excited her in ways she couldn't articulate, that shacking up in seedy motels across Washington state doing a plethora of drugs and not knowing reality from her delusions made me heart sing.
She refused to admit that everyone was right and she hadn't known what she was getting herself into. She refused to crawl back to her friends after she'd ostracized herself from them and severed their relationship. She refused to listen to the tiny voice in her head begging her to admit that she was afraid of how things would end up for them- death seemed inevitable and some days she even welcomed the thought.
Griffen was all she had and no matter how wrong he was for her, she'd rather let him kill her like this than live without him at all.