Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, I wouldn't be ignoring the awesome sauce potential GRAYZA 333 has!
Her Eyes. They Speak.
Gray was impatiently telling Juvia how to eat her sandwich properly, when he became distracted by Erza's unnaturally quiet voice, a voice so strongly ingrained in his memories, that he was unconsciously tuned to instinctively seek it.
She was standing a little away from where he was sitting, behind Bisca and Dorcas, who seemed to be stupidly envying some impossibly weird 'supposedly' couple's ability to interact normally. He didn't care who.
It bothered him. The achingly sad look in her eyes, as she gently told Bisca and Dorcas to treasure their friendship or they would regret it later.
He could feel the ache he saw in them tearing into him. He wasn't entirely sure why they bothered him so much, but it killed him to see her like that.
His heart clenched uncomfortably every time he got a glimpse of those sad and bottomless brandy eyes, their unconscious vulnerability dragging him into its depths, regardless of his will, an uncontrollable urge to lighten the shadows darkening those eyes, and wipe away the incredibly sad look in them, churning heavily in his guts.
She'd always had that power over him, hadn't she? Ever since he'd first laid eyes on her.
Gray closed his eyes and the forlorn image of Erza with an eye-patch, and only one of those powerful eyes being visible, lingered behind his eyelids, as he nodded and said something inane to continue the conversation he'd now lost interest in. He shifted himself slightly to keep Erza in sight, when he noticed the Master's small frame purposefully striding towards her, with an anxious, pensive look on his face.
It was fortunate that he could hear them fine enough from where he was sitting, well, if he leant forward and strained himself a little i.e. This was definitely a conversation he wanted to eavesdrop on, the consequences be damned!
"Erza!" Master wearily began. "I have thought hard on this, and have decided that you should be told. I regret that there wasn't more I could do for you, dear girl. I only just found out. It seems there are limitations to how much a parent can do for their child, despite their wanting."
"Master" Brows furrowed, and making a concentrated effort to push down the unbidden apprehension rising in her eyes and face, she cautiously prodded. "What is it?"
She was afraid. Gray could tell. He could read the unwritten fear in her eyes. That little girl inside her armour was scared and shaking, curling inwards, and bracing herself against the pain she was sure to be hit with, at Master's foreboding words. She seemed to already know what was coming her way.
"Its Gerard" Master heavily pronounced. " The council has set his execution date for tonight at 9.00 p.m. This information is classified and Gerard himself asked that it be kept from you, but my kind friend was thoughtful enough to consider that you, and the young man, despite his plea, would like to say your goodbyes to each other."
He couldn't see her eyes.
Her curtain of scarlet hair had slipped in front of them, hiding them from view, as she'd lowered her head upon Master's pronouncement.
Her eyes… They spoke…They'd always been a wealth of information to him, windows to her soul, a soul she'd always tightly wrapped inside a protective case of armour.
He experienced a moment of irrational panic at being unable to see those familiar eyes directly, eyes that he had begun to depend on, to habitually pull him, in and out of its changing depths.
Erza was a skilled woman, with an array of armours at her disposal. Her armour of scarlet hair was doing a fine job of shielding the naked pain and vulnerability in the familiar depths of her eyes right now.
Even so, despite all he could see of her, was the silent and bent form of her head, effectively fencing in, her thoughts and emotions away from perusal, he could simply feel that something inside of her died at that moment. His own heart clenched unbearably tight in response, making it hard for him to breathe.
Profile still hidden, her lips slowly parted to softly utter, " Master, Arigatou. You have done more than enough. Please, do not look upon this as your limitation. I am truly grateful to you for informing me, and to your friend as well, for his kindness. I have already been preparing myself for this outcome."
"Erza, you are truly gracious, child. Just know this," Master gently and fiercely stated, "whatever decision you take, Fairy Tail will be behind you all the way. "
Her bent form huddled, and shook lightly in response to Master's heartfelt declaration. Gray could tell she was in tears at this strong show of loyalty from Master.
Erza drags in a shaky breath, tearfully looks Master in the eye, and declares just as fiercely, "Master, you are a wonderful parent, and I am truly blessed to have you and Fairy Tail on my side. That is why, I have already resigned myself to the council's decision."
" Erza, Please…do not make up your mind in a haste. I…"
"Master" she smiled softly "I have not made my decision in haste. I have thought hard on it… I have been preparing to say my goodbyes to Gerard since I last saw him. I am only glad that I am getting the opportunity to do so now. I cannot say how grateful I am."
" But Erza, I cannot ask you to choose …."
" You have not" she firmly stated " I have chosen, on my will and my will alone."
" Master, please understand, Gerard is very important to me, but so is everyone in Fairy Tail. To go against the council, would mean to lose Fairy Tail. And that, I could not bear, under any circumstance.
While Gerard is an important part of my past, and could maybe, be a part of my future, Fairy Tail for me, is both, my present and my future, with or without Gerard. If Fairy Tail disappears, then I disappear too.
In the tower of heaven with Gerard, I was willing to disappear with him, but, I couldn't do that anymore. Natsu reminded me then, that I need to live for my friends, not die for them. And, I intend to do exactly that."
"I'd like to think that Gray…." she closed her eyes momentarily and placed her palm firmly on the center of her armour, over her heart "and Lucy and Happy as well, need me to live for them, as I need them to live for me. I'm not ready to part with them yet. I am not ready to say goodbye to Fairy tail."
"That is the conclusion I have come to.
Master, I do not want to start a war I know, there is no possibility of winning.
This is how it is supposed to be. I have to let Gerard go. He has done far too much damage for the council to change their minds, even if he is no longer that person anymore.
I understand their decision. I believe Gerard understands as well. He wouldn't want to live, not even for me. He is unable to forgive himself and knowing I have already forgiven him probably hurts him even more. This is how he wishes to atone for his sins. I can't make him want to live, that is why, I will go. I will go and say my goodbyes to him.
Will you let me, Master?"
" How can I say no, dear child?" Master had tears streaming down his face by the time Erza was finished with her passionate monologue. " Go. Will you be alright on your own? Atleast take Gray with you, since he's here at the guild now."
That was his cue. He'd already gotten out of his chair and started walking towards them, barely registering juvia's confused, " Gray sama?" trailing after his departing form.
He could already hear Erza telling Master that she'd be alright on her own, and that she didn't want to trouble Gray, who seemed to be enjoying himself, yada yada.
" It'd be no trouble" he calmly interjected.
" Gray!" Erza started at the unexpected insertion into the conversation, warm brandy orbs widening, and turning to meet the immovable firm intention in his dark steady gaze.
It was a relief to be able to look directly into those familiar eyes again, even if her direct gaze jerked his heartstrings every which way, and aroused strange feelings in him. He didn't think he could live without them.