A/NI know its been a very very VERY long time but ive had exams and i recently got diagnosed with Anxiety so ive been pretty busy im sooooo sorry.
This is going to become my sort of scrap book where i can keep all of my drabbles and one-shots that werent good enough or long enough to be published seperately. This will get updated whenever i get a new idea so who knows?
Enjoy! FQ
Drabble #1 - Anxiety
Pounding. Unmistakable pounding. Thumping through his scarred and broken body like shockwaves again and again and again. It vibrated through his body, fanning out from his exerted heart in disorderly, awkward rhythm until he could feel his very fingernails throbbing. The beating like a drum in his head, loud and fast accompanied with a harmony of loud, deafening ringing. The world around him was pulsating, like his eyes could barely adjust and the unmistakable feeling of obliviousness started to take hold. His brain felt like it was simultaneously filling his head to the point of bursting and compressing it until it hurt. His hands were cold and clammy, and they shook as he scratched at the skin on his right knuckles until it was red and raw and dry. The very tips of his fingers and the skin on his cheeks were on fire, a reckless juxtaposition to his freezing body. He could feel himself slipping away. His breath had quickened to short, sharp breaths.
His friends didn't know. They were down in the common room playing exploding snap or wizard chess or any other unnecessarily violent game they could get their hands on. Remus was completely alone in the dorm and yet he thought that if anyone walked in now he might scream. And as if all the gods and Merlin himself were ganging up on his broken, shaking form, at that moment, Sirius black came crashing through the old oak door.
"Moony! My man! Oh you should just see the common room! You have never seen such a spectactular mess in all your-"
Pounding. Again. Again. Again.
"I mean i think it might just be out best work yet!"
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"It might even beat the Halloween mess of last year-"
Stop shaking. Stop thinking. Just stop.
All went quiet.
His friend looked at him, voice dimming and concern flooding his eyes.
"...Remus?"
Remus' neck twitched. He stared down at the crimson blankets.
"Remus what's wrong? Was it Snape? Snape said something didn't he? That dick!"
Remus reached out a hand. Small and meek. Sirius stopped mid-rant when he felt the clammy hand on his toned wrist. He looked at the young werewolf's face and he sighed.
"Move over."
With those two words Remus was shifted to the opposite side of his bed, strong quidditch player arms helping him on his way before the other side dipped and creaked as the younger boy sat down. Sirius wrapped a strong arm around his friends' bony shoulders and leaned back against the headboard son that Sirius' chest was Remus' pillow.
"What are we going to do with you? How can one person be so unlucky?"
Sirius ran his hand down Remus' back and sighed as he felt his friends' heartbeat slowing.
They lay there until the sun had set and the moon was high overhead, not that either of them were awake to see it.
A/N Hey so i know this was kind of depressing but as you saw above this is kind of personal to me so i wanted to convey to people what my anxiety attacks feel like and how difficult it can be to even talked when you have one. This can be incredibly frustrating because you cant tell people whats wrong with you when your'e screaming it in head the whole time. If any of you have been affected by this or just want to talk you can always message me and i will reply.