Closure from Zy-Limbron
Part 1 – Confronting past
Farscape and any related property is the product of the Jim Henson Company. This fiction is purely a product created for entertainment value and the author has received no material product or privilege for its creation.
Text taken from the episode "Wait for the Wheel" is the work of David Kemper (I think) and applies to the above criteria.
Speaking of story, I should probably point out that I haven't actually seen "Wait For The Wheel" (Damm Star Trek Marathon on Sky one. Damm physically bigger brother) and so am getting all my info from various episode guides and books. The DVD is in the mail but until then my details are probably sketchy, or indeed incorrect, many apologies .
Zhaan had been the first.
She had been the one to show him that hands could do more than hurt, could do more than take. She had taught him how to forget sorrow, bury pain in the back of his mind, cover his darkness and feel only happiness, feel only joy. She had taught him how to recover so much of what he had feared lost, but above all she had taught him how to love.
It had been after Aeryn's death. He was unsure of everything except that he wanted with every fibre of his being to share the future with Zhaan. He told her...proposed...it was one of the hardest things he had ever done...but she had accepted. They had spent the night together, learning about each other, never a secret to be held in the unity that they shared. Stark had learned about love that night.
It had been the only time. Zhaan's sacrifice on the ice planet had brought both Aeryn and the sickness. Stark helped her in everyway he could think, comfort in the harder times, reminding her of the Goddess, and how she rewards selflessness. Zhaan would listen, resting her head against his shoulder, and often he would tell her to close her eyes and sleep…
…so that she couldn't see him cry.
Stark held the money in his hands, and despite the unquenchable relief he felt, a part of him still suffered the terrible guilt of disclosing something that had been so willingly entrusted to him, out of a final…silent act of revenge against the departed human.
Against the Crichton in Zy-Limbron, and the Crichton on Moya…if he ever discovered the game. A part of Stark hoped that he would but the other part…the part Zhaan had loved…prayed that he would never encounter the terrible sin.
Unfortunately, the peaceful, good part of Stark had long been buried by the darkness that had consumed him since Zhaan's death. He had tried to fight it, tried to remain strong the way she had taught him, but it grew inside and the madness he had thought finally quelled crept its way back into his demeanour until it seemed to outsiders all that he was. Not that he cared what other people thought of him any more…except maybe Aeryn. He cared what Aeryn thought.
Aeryn was so much like Zhaan…strong…beautifull…
…with…carrying…
…child
The madness was a functioning part of Stark now, it was Stark, and he made no effort to control it as he forced his hands into and through the thinly plastered wall of the hotel room. Dust fell around his face, forming a layer over the new mask he had constructed, using what he could salvage from the life pod of the Seer…his once remaining link to Zhaan and his unknown child…who he had helped over to the other side that previous night…exactly two solar nights after the Delvian spirit's revelation.
He tried to sleep…unable despite how tired he was…tired of life…tired of death. The echo of the break settled, became a whispering silence.
Whispering in his head…
"If I am so needed and so valued and so wise then you will honour my words. You will obey me. For the longest time I feared physical demise because my spiritual essence was suspect. But now I know I'm worthy. Now I know the transgressions have melted from my soul. Now I know I shall meet my goddess and be accepted to her bosom. Sensitive D'Argo, exuberant Chiana, wise Rygel, selfless Aeryn, innocent Crichton. My children, my teachers, my loves, there is no guilt, there is no blame, only what is meant to be. Grow through your mistakes and know that if patient redemption will find you".
No Zhaan…do not leave do not do this…Moya needs your wisdom…the crew needs your guidance…I need you
Words in my head…my scream out loud
"Wait for the wheel".
Stop…please hear me…hear yourself…stop this madness
"Thank you John Crichton".
Zhaan…my soulmate…
"Link with me my beautiful. Guide me to the place of rest. Melt into my spirit Stark so that I may share my last moments with the man I love".
I shall do as you bid, your final wish
"Always together joined as one piece of mind, piece of spirit, piece of soul. Goodbye my love".
Goodbye my love
It had never been Zhaan's passing that had scared Stark the most but rather how calm she had been when the end had finally come. Even the strongest had a shadow of fear as they passed through Zy-limbron, even Stark still feared his final destination on occasion.
Maybe that was why he hadn't reacted quite the way everyone had expected, because in the end Zhaan had been so ready…positive of her actions. His words to Aeryn, to comfort her as much as to convince himself…of course he had been sad…but he had never truly allowed himself to grieve…Zhaan hadn't wanted him to be sad.
So why was he now? It had been nearly half a cycle, maybe more…why only now?
Forgive me…I did not know
Zhaan's child…Stark's child…he had not known…and now he would never know.
The revelation…he wanted to scream…wanted Zhaan…wanted someone
…but no one was there except the darkness.
Or so he had thought at first.