Brooke Davis-Colby laid in bed on her back, concentrating on the ceiling, hoping the dullness of it would help her fall asleep. Next to her, her husband of one year slept soundly, breathing out through his stuffy nose creating a bit of a whistle. She'd known him ever since she started college; he often went into the cafe she had worked in. He seemed nice, not like the other pervy men that were known to go into the cafe. He had been married, Brooke had only met his wife a handful of times before she died in a car accident at the beginning of Brooke's sophomore year. She had been surprised when he asked her to help him with his daughter Addison while he sorted everything out with his wife's death.
Brooke was more than happy to help and it seemed that she spent almost everyday with Addison and as time passed with Howard as well. Before she even realized what was happening, she had a ring on her finger and Addison called her 'mom'. The second part she really didn't mind. Addison had only been a few months old when her mother died. The first part however, she wasn't sure of. Her original plan had been to go to New York and graduate, not get married by the time she was finishing her last year.
Brooke sighed and turned her head to look at the slumbering man next to her. Howard was a wonderful guy, he was. He was a business man and treated her right and provided for her. He supported her with her fashion and asked for nothing much in return. All he wanted was a loving wife and a loving mother for his daughter.
He was 37, older than her by fifteen years and in a strange way he reminded her of her father. He was of short compared to other men standing at five foot seven. He had dark brown hair that had begun to show signs of balding in one spot and Brooke had even noticed two gray hairs.
She shook her head and turned on to her side, her back facing her husband. After all the time she had known him, after everything he did for her, she still couldn't bring herself to love him. She glanced at her bedside table and found the reason she couldn't love him. There laid the black hardback book, stripped of it's annoying book cover. It had always been next to her bed no matter where she lived. Howard often asked why she always kept it so close yet never seemed to read it. She always responded with a shrug.
She was torn out of her thoughts about a certain blonde haired boy when she heard a faint knock on the door of the large master bedroom. She looked over at the dark wood door to see it open slowly, a little head of brown hair barely visible in the moon lit room. "Mommy?" Brooke smiled and sat up in bed, her legs dangling over the side. "I scared."
Brooke stood up and walked over to the girl she considered her own and picked her up gently. "It's okay Addie." The little girl laid her head down on Brooke's shoulder as she felt her mother begin to rub her back.
----------------------
Lucas Scott laid in the bed of his current hotel room, unable to just let himself sleep. Tomorrow morning he was supposed to be at a press conference to announce his plans for his second book and sign copies of 'An Unkindness of Ravens'. What he would tell his fans he didn't know. He was having trouble writing his follow up and he couldn't for the life of him understand why. He figured he could do a continuation of where his first book left off but college had been a very boring time in Lucas' life that he knew it wouldn't sell. The biggest thing that happened to him was that he broke up with Peyton.
He supposed he could write a book about his relationship with Peyton, how it started by him lusting after her, then wanting more from her, being broken by her, gaining and then loosing her again. But, if he chose that path he would most definatly have to include the girl he had been trying for 4 years to forget about.
He sighed and got up from his bed, walking to the desk in the room where his laptop sat. He opened it to find a blank page a blinking cursor staring back at him and he x-ed out of it quickly, not being able to take the taunting. Instead, he found himself going through the photos he had on his computer. Lots of his sister and mother, Haley, Nathan and James, a few of him and Peyton. Then, he came across a picture he didn't even realize he had.
Her beautiful brown hair was in messy waves, her eyeliner smudged and her forehead was shiny with sweat. She wore light blue jeans and a tank top, having ditched her cardigan earlier that day. She stood on one leg, her arms above her head, balancing with grace on roller blades.
It had been taken the day her and Peyton were set to leave to California. The original five (plus little James of course) had all decided to go somewhere and just have fun, one last hurrah before the first two left. They had driven around in Rachel's big SUV and they had eventually decided on the only roller-skating rink they had in town. None of them had been there in years but it was fun to just let all of it go before they went off and became adults.
She was sticking her tongue out at him, her eyes squeezed shut, something that was very dangerous when skating. But, she never faltered, unlike him who fell twice to which she laughed her ass off.
"Dumbass," she laughed as she glided up to him, stopping in front of his feet as he laid on his back on the cold hard floor for the second time that night. She put her hands out and steadied her legs. "You better not bring me down with you if I can't get you up." He rolled his eyes and placed his large hands into her smaller ones and eventually got into squatting position which lead him to standing up straight.
"You know, it really boosts my confidence when you laugh at me the whole time," he teased and she shrugged her shoulders.
"Peyton's too nice to tease you about your lack of dancing and skating skills. Now come on, slowly glide." She was in front of him, guiding him around the rink carefully.
"I can't dance?" He wobbled a little bit, and tightened his grip on Brooke's hands.
"Relax, you're doing fine. Just because you stumble doesn't mean you'll fall." He nodded and she picked up a little speed, glancing behind her to make sure she wasn't going to run them into anyone. "And well, at least you're better at dancing than Nathan."
"So I suck, just not a lot?"
"Right! Out of the whole Scott gene pool you got the most dance skills. And as much as I love our godson, we're gonna have to face the facts. James' isn't going to have coordination at all."
They shared a laugh and Peyton skated up next to Lucas, pushing him to the side a little. "Peyton! Do not touch me while I am skating!"
"Thank god you have the patience to do this with him." Peyton joked as she slid over to Brooke and bumped hips with her before she went to catch up with Nathan.
"Thank you for sticking this out with me," he said, finally taking his eyes off of his feet.
She smiled a warm dimpled smile and shook her head. "I promised to save ya right?"
He found himself smiling at the memory and slowly closed the laptop and walked over to his duffle bag. He sifted around for a few seconds until he pulled out a cream colored envelope, his old address written on the front. He turned over the open envelope to see Letter 82 written on the back in her curly script. He carried it wherever he went although he wasn't sure why. It had been the best one she had written, she was so positive and so loving. Maybe he carried it around because if he ever found himself in a sad place, he'd always have a little boost inside his pocket. Or, maybe it was because he still really did love her.
---------------------
Brooke stood in the near empty bookstore, watching Addison totter around the shelves, picking up colorful books every so often. Brooke often went to the bookstore, at least once every week early in the morning before it got too crowded with tourists. She occasionally brought along Addison if she was up, buying her coloring books and various titles from Dr. Suess. She sat down in one of the huge leather chairs, watching as the small brunette followed her, three different books in her small arms. "What do you have there Addie?"
"Suess," the three year old exclaimed as Brooke lifted her into her lap.
"Very nice choices! Do you want to take them home?" The girl's brown curls bounced as she nodded her head. "Alright. Now, we're going to go look at some of my books okay?" Addison's smile got a little smaller which made Brooke frown. "Addie, honey. You got to look at your books now I want to look at mine. Before we go we'll look at yours again okay?"
Brooke stood up, moving Addison on to her hip, her purse slung over her other shoulder. They walked across the large bookstore, stopping in front of the new release section. "Pretty." Addison pointed to a book cover that was covered in nothing but sparkles. Addison leaned forward trying to grab the book but Brooke stepped back from the shelf.
"Nu-uh. The last time you reached for a book the whole shelf fell. I don't want a repeat of that." Granted the shelf hadn't been very big at all, a simple cardboard one displaying 'On The Road' workbooks filled with word searches and sudoku. Addison had been reaching for the book on the very top and tried climbing up the unsteady shelf while Brooke was helping someone find a specific Beverly Cleary book. The whole shelf fell, pinning Addison underneath it, books all around. Brooke had never screamed so loud in her life. She knew it was dramatic but she never let anything like that happen to that little girl before. For all Brooke knew she could have been bleeding. Instead, Addison was just shocked, crying at the top of her lungs.
Brooke walked away from the display, much to Addison's dismay. Brooke walked down the 'Classics' aisle and began glancing over the various books, none really catching her eye. But then, she saw it. The Winter of Our Discontent. She had only read the book once, actually, she'd barely call it reading. She read up until the fourth chapter and then skimmed the rest. Every time she saw that book she though of him. When he gave it to her, how it lead to their first date, how he ended up quoting the book to her after they got back together senior year. She reached slowly for the only copy the store had but found herself pulling her hand back when she saw another hand reach for the book.
"Sorry." He turned to look at the woman next to him and his breath caught in his throat. There she was. Her hair was in its natural state, slightly wavy yet she made it look like she had just spent hours styling it. She wore a pale yellow dress with a pleated bust and an empire waist that cut off at the knee. Her face was clear of make up but he could tell that she had some sort of product on her lips. She looked exactly the same except a little older, her hair a little shorter.
She thought she was hallucinating when she saw him. There was no way he was there. The boy that had plagued her mind for years was right there, standing in front of her. His blue eyes were focussed completely on her, a small smile on his lips. She felt herself blush a little and glanced down. "Brooke." He sounded happy and she looked back up at him, taking in his scruffy appearance. He was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans and his hair looked a little messy but she always found that look adorable on him. His hair was shorter, thank god. When he had been with Peyton it had been waaaaaaaaay too long and their hair color had matched. It looked horrible on him. But, his hair was back to how it was at the beginning of their senior year and all she wanted to do was run her fingers through it.
"Mommy?" Both adults turned their heads to look at the little girl on Brooke's hip. Lucas looked little confused but he couldn't say that he expected anything else. He hadn't seen Brooke in almost five years. Of course she'd be married with a family.
"Oh, sorry honey. Lucas, this is Addison. Addison, this is Lucas. Can you say hi?" Brooke lifted Addison high on her hip, running her hand soothingly over the small girl's soft arm. She was a shy child and never took quickly to someone she just met. Addison finally managed to get out a small 'hi' before hiding her head in her mother's neck.
"She's adorable," Lucas said, smiling once more at Brooke. "Here, you can take the book." He grabbed the book from the shelf and handed it to her.
"Oh no, it's fine. You can take it Lucas," Brooke said, trying to hand the book back to him.
He shook his head. "I already have a copy."
"Thank you Lucas. I feel bad though. Are you sure you don't want to take it?"
"Brooke, take the book. But, if you feel bad then you can do something for me in return." She looked at him quizzically, kinking an eyebrow in question. "Let me buy you a coffee."
She let a out a soft laugh and it was like music to his ears. He had missed that laugh. "I feel bad for taking the book and your solution is to let you buy me coffee?" He nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. She contemplated in her head for a moment before smiling a littler bigger. "Okay. Coffee it is. I just have to pay for these books first."
-------------
"How old is she?" Brooke looked down at the little girl standing in front of them and smiled.
"She just turned three," Brooke said proudly. Lucas nodded next to her, moving a little forward in line. He did the math in his head before offering a 'hmpf'. Brooke turned to him, confusion mapped out on her face.
"So you had her your sophomore year?" She had two options at that moment. She could lie and nod her head, let Lucas think that Addison was really hers. She could tell Lucas about her wonderful husband and how great of a father he was and how she was in love and happy with her husband. Or, she could tell him the truth. That Addison wasn't hers and that she was far from being in love with her husband because all she could ever think about was him.
"She's, um, not my biological daughter," Brooke whispered. Lucas' eyes widened and put a hand on Brooke's shoulder, urging her to continue. "My husband's first wife died when Addison was a few months old. I was friends with Howard, my husband, and he asked me to help him with her while he figured everything out. I'm all she knows."
Lucas nodded. "How long have you been married?"
"About a year," Brooke said, twisting the platinum band on her finger. Lucas had always planned to give her his grandmother's ring, but it looked like she preferred the big diamond and platinum band. "I've known him since I moved here though. He used to come into the cafe I worked at."
They reached the front of the line and Lucas ordered their drinks and she was impressed that he remembered her favorite drink. Then, he out did himself and remembered to get a small milk for Addison. "You know me well."
He smiled and shrugged. "I try." They grabbed their drinks and went over to sit at a table, Addison completely submersed in her books. They talked for what seemed like hours but in reality it'd only been a half an hour. They talked about their godson and about family. They talked about high school and even allowed themselves to talk about their relationship.
"Gawd, I can't believe I showed up in your back seat naked," Brooke said shaking her head.
"I definatly wasn't complaining," Lucas laughed and Brooke kicked him lightly underneath the table. "It's not like I never made an," he glanced over at Addison before lowering his voice, "ass out of myself in front of you."
"That's true," Brooke giggled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "How could you honestly think I liked Tommy Lee?"
"How was I supposed to know? You're a hard one to figure out. But then again, that's what I love about you." He looked over at her and noticed she had her head down as she popped a piece of muffin into her mouth. Her skin was glowing and if he wasn't mistaken, she was blushing. "Is that a blush? I don't think I've ever seen you blush."
She rolled her eyes playfully and slipped out of one of her flip-flops, her foot resting against Lucas'. "I've blushed in front of you before. You've never noticed or it was too dark." He cocked an eyebrow and found himself scooting toward her, her foot sliding up his leg a little.
He walked into the coffee shop, his wife's laughter immediately filling his ears. He followed the sound with his eyes, finding Brooke and his daughter sitting in the corner with a blonde man. "Brooke."
Brooke's foot quickly returned to her shoe and she sat up straighter. She turned to see Howard standing at the entrance, his eyes focussed on Lucas. She waved him over, as if he needed permission, and he got to their table in record speed. "Hi honey." Brooke stood up and gave him a quick peck before turning back to Lucas. "Howard, this is Lucas. Lucas, this is my husband Howard."
"It's nice to meet you," Lucas said politely, shaking Howard's hand.
"You too," Howard said warily, glancing at Brooke who offered a small smile. "How is it that you know my wife?"
Lucas had to force himself not to roll his eyes. Brooke wasn't his property, she was a human being. "Brooke and I were friends in high school."
Howard nodded, eyeing Lucas before turning to Brooke. "Are we still going to the zoo?"
"Of course," Brooke said, gathering up her things. Addison had long since jumped out of her chair and was now clutching onto her father's leg. "I'll meet you two outside." Howard was about to protest, but Brooke flashed him a dimpled smile and he gave in.
"He was... nice," Lucas said once Howard was out of earshot.
"Don't start Lucas. You criticize everyone I date," Brooke said, glancing out the window.
He put his hands up in defense before he stood up. "This was fun."
Brooke nodded. "It was. We should do this again sometime." They both knew the offer didn't really stand. She was married and her husband wasn't the type to share on any terms. He pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her small waist tightly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her tiptoes, resting her head against his shoulder. "I missed you Lucas Scott."
He could tell she mean it and that made him smile a little bigger. "I missed you too Brooke..." His words hung in question and she whispered back a quick 'Davis' before pulling, reluctantly, out of the hug.
She could feel Howard watching her through the window and she knew she had to walk away soon. He noticed her glance out the window again and he nodded towards her family. "Go."
-------------------------
"Mr. Scott! What are you planning to do for your follow up book?"
Lucas smiled and looked down at his hands before facing the large crowd once more. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it once again when he noticed a familiar yellow dress walking into the crowded book store. "Well," he started, locking eyes with the brunette, "I woke up this morning not knowing what the hell I'd tell all of you. But, as this day went on, I ran into someone who opened up a new chapter in my life. In my first book, I didn't do this woman justice at all and I now know that she had a much bigger impact on my life than I originally thought. I believe that if it wasn't for this wonderful woman, I wouldn't be the man I am today. And that's why my next book will be about the woman I think I'm meant to end up with."
Her beautiful smile got even bigger and from across the huge room, he could tell he'd made her blush once more. The reporters got even more frenzied but his publisher just smiled and told them that there would be no more questions and lead him toward the back of the store. She mouthed, "When they're gone" and he nodded, ducking into the closed off section of the store.
About an hour and a half later, after everyone had cleared out of the multi level store, Brooke stood outside in the cool New York night, waiting for Lucas to come out. She leaned against the cool glass wall of the building, watching the cars drive past her. "Brooke." His voice was filled with happiness and just hearing her name fall from his lips was enough to make her smile.
"I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here." The way she spoke reminded him of her mother whom he had only met twice. She was prim and proper and speaking in a way that the way the wife of a successful business man would.
He decided to be bold and he let himself chuckle slightly. "Yes you do and you don't need to act that way around me Brooke." She looked up at him timidly, and he tucked a piece of hair that had escaped her pony tail behind her ear. He let his hand linger against her cheek and she found herself leaning into it. "I love you."
Her eyes had already begun to fill with tears as she shook her head. "Please don't tell me that."
"Why not? It's true. It's crazy how much I love you Brooke. Almost five years later and you're still the only girl I think about. You're the only one I want." His other hand found it's way to her other cheek and her hands were placed securely on his wrists.
"I'm married Lucas," she breathed out, her voice raspy and low.
"So? Leave him Brooke! We could be happy and you know that. You don't love him. You don't let your real smile show through when you're with him. You don't let those beautiful dimples out and your eyes don't sparkle." She smiled at his words, her dimples barely showing.
"You're right. I'm not in love with him and I probably never will be. But I can't leave Addison. I know what it's like to have parents that don't care and she may not remember a lot of what's going on around her now but she wakes up every morning and calls me mommy. I never want her to feel like she isn't wanted. And if I leave, I'll be walking out on her, I'll be leaving her. I can't do that."
Tears were trailing down her face and he wiped a few tears away with his thumbs. He knew that she wasn't going to be his. Not then. She wasn't going to allow herself to leave someone she had come to truly love, even if it meant spending that time without him. Still, that didn't stop him from trying to stay in his only little world of denial. "You could petition for custody."
She shook her head. "We both know I won't win." She gave him the smallest of smiles as she removed his hands from her cheeks. She had to let him go, at least for now. She cleared her throat and wiped away the rest of her tears before picking up her purse that she had set on the ground next to her. She looked back up at him, his blue eyes glossy from tears. "People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end, right?"
"You've given me enough reason to doubt that."
"If it wasn't true than we never would have run into each other today Luke. It's just... not our time."
"And when will it be?" He expected her to answer with some sarcastic comment or a simple vague statement but instead he was met with her lips against his. It took him a few moments to respond but he did, his hand finding it's way into her hair. The kiss was soft yet filled with so much emotion. His tongue asked for entrance and after a moment of hesitation she granted him access. She hadn't been kissed like that in a long time, as a matter of fact, it'd been a long time since anyone had touched her in a way that made her feel alive.
They pulled apart a few minutes later, their foreheads resting against each other. She dipped her head down one more to sneak in one last kiss before pulling away from him completely. Without looking back, she walked down the street and away from the blonde that still held her heart. She couldn't look back because if she did, she'd run back to him and never want to leave his arms again.
She left him completely answer less, not even offering him a shrug. She left him even more confused and hurt than she had met him with but he wouldn't give up that kiss for anything. He had half the mind to run after her, to hold her back and kiss her again and whisk her away from the life she had made for herself. But he knew he couldn't do that because she wouldn't stay with him.
So, he stood their to wait. To wait for the girl he had loved for so long to come back to him. Once and for all.