He enters me.
Our bodies crashing together like waves against the rocks on the sandy beach shore. In time together like the moon and the tides. He pulls me deeper into him. I push resisting my building orgasm. I harden my mind. I steel myself against the tingles and tremors coursing through me. I can't feel the pleasure... not again.
This is our last time together. Too long we have played this hide and seek game. Too long have I loved him knowing it couldn't be. I've voiced my feelings in and out of the throes of passion. Each met with silence. His piercing gaze giving away the churning in his heart. He loves me also but voicing it would give life to this sordid affair. Twice a month we meet, sometimes more. Always an out of town client or an impromptu convention. Always discreet, never in the open. I am his secret and he is mine.
His breathing deepens. I know he is close. His strong hands hold me in place on top of the wooden table that we have made our bed at this moment. His broad muscular back arches with each stroke. He is over me hard and commanding. His rippling muscles flex as he slides in and out of my dripping sex. He is a master of this. He is a master of me, my body and my mind.
I let my eyes travel around the room. I want to memorialize this moment. The modern contemporary style room. The large king size bed where we came together over and over again. The soft white cotton sheets that are now a disheveled mess and the heavy comforter was thrown about. Our barely eaten dinner and the empty bottle of red wine. The finality of it all hits me causing my eyes to water. I don't want him to see the tears that are just out of view. I press his face into my neck wrapping my arms around his head as he enters me again and again. I run my fingers through his soft curls. I love them. I can spend hours sliding my fingers through their silkiness. His throaty moan vibrates against my neck sending prickling needles down my body. My pussy betrays me. She responds to him as if he is a pianist and she were the keys. She throbs and swells as his hard cock floats across her ivory keys.
This man has ravished my soul but he is not mine. He makes love to me… no not love… we fuck. He has fucked me with the passion of a man in love and I have accepted this fucking love each and every time.
I stood in front of the church altar surrounded by family and friends. I promised to love and honor my husband and I did. Ten beautiful years. Years of traveling the world, advancing our careers. On that 11th year, something happened. A light switch flips on inside of me. The harsh light cast a dull yellowish antique glow upon my life. My home. My husband. All wonderful and my dream come true but the once colorful glow was now faded into the drabness of complacency.
"Chonne, stay with me," he said breathlessly.
I search for his eyes as the haze of guilt lifts. Those deep ocean blue orbs begging me to stay with him. I will stay just a little while longer.
"I'm here...I'm here with you."
My dark skin blooms as he nibbles my lips. We kiss the kiss of lovers who will part at the coming of the rising sun. For this is the last day of our rendezvous. Tomorrow we return to our families and our jobs. I will erase his number from my phone and from my life.
My tongue probes his mouth memorizing the smoky taste of him. The softness of his lips. The brisly feel of his beard against my face.
I lay flat on the wooden table that is slick with my sweat. My hands bent over my head gripping the top of the table to keep me from sliding off. My legs held straight in the air, tightly in the grip of his hands. He pulls them apart never breaking his rhythm or his gaze with me. His eyes scream his love for me. His wanting to devote everything to me but behind that devotion, those eyes hide the truth. That love and devotion are fleeting. They are only for this moment locked away in this room. Outside those doors, we are no one but two strangers on the same floor leaving the same room.
The warm callous feel of his hand sliding up my silken flesh. His hand comes to rest over my heart as he grasps my left breast firmly. My nipple reacts to the feel of him. My whole body does. I cry out as my orgasm washes over me. He captures my mouth as if to swallow my pleasure as he finds his own in that same moment. Goddamn him for sharing this one last pleasure with me for bonding us even more.
I told my husband I loved him when I left. I'm sure he told his wife the same.
Does he envision my face in place of hers as I do his? It doesn't matter that I look at my husband and envision I am looking at him. The short brown curls of Philips hair become soft and silky as I place Rick in his place. The long willowy frame of his body in bed becomes broad and muscular. Brown eyes turn deep Cerulean blue.
All of that will be forgotten. A distant fantasy.
My sleep is fretful. I lay in his arms listening to his lite snoring and even rhythm of his heart. I didn't want the coming confrontation. So I chose to avoid it all together. The clock said 4 am as I slipped from his arms and out of our lovers cove. My Dear John note left on the side table. Simple words etched in black ink on the thin hotel notepaper.
I can't do this anymore
I caught the earlier flight so I wouldn't have to see him again. Sitting in the airport lounge ignoring each other as we both type 'almost home' and 'miss you' messages to our families. The fiery passion of our tryst fading to low flicker.
Maintaining appearances among the sea of hurried strangers. I don't know you and you don't know me but they don't know us either.
I cried silently the entire 3-hour flight. I claimed allergies the culprit and not the ending of a year and a half long affair. Boston will now be a distant memory. A three-day memory of constant passion between two souls trying to find themselves again. Cumulus clouds shroud my view of the land below as we fly from my heartache to my reality. The Captain announced the weather forecast. Stormy weather in Kings County. A fitting setting for my solemn mood. My driver Glenn is there with the car ready to take me home. Back to my cat. Back to my life.
The squeak of the weathered windshield wipers swiping away the heavy droplets of rain lulls me into a forlorn introspection. Our connection was immediate. The ease of our conversations. The fire of our life passions. He brought my soul back to me. I was invigorated by his attention. Our morning coffee chats soon led to lunchtime discussions. A lite hand caress as he smiled that dazzling smile of his. I was smitten immediately. We fought a good fight of trying to avoid one another but the small town location meant constant interactions of some sort.
My husband greets me passionately at the door. These days away now over spark a fervor in him. I give in to his attention. I force my body to relax and to sing under his touch. The melody is tedious. The tone dead. The new player of the ivory keys stumbles and paws pressing multiple out of tune keys searching for the long forgotten melody. I've doctored the keys to tune themselves to the fake light melody played. There is no accelerando, no crescendo.
He is sated but I am empty. I can feel the light within me beginning to dull as the acceptance of my current life once again seals itself around me. "I missed you," he says. His light brown eyes caress my face. He drinks me in as if I was going to disappear. I admire his features. The well aged face of the man who I fell for during my sophomore year in college.
"I missed you as well," the empty words tumble from my lips and I watch as they caress his cheek lovingly. He closes his eyes to the sensation. He loves the feel of me. The feel of my flesh. He presses his thin lips to my collarbone sliding his tongue across leaving a viscous trail of saliva. I shiver but not from pleasure but annoyance. How dare he try to lay claim to me by marking my tawny flesh. This morning my 5'6 frame belonged to another. One who took great pleasure and time to taste every orifice and leave his mark upon me.
"Don't forget we have the social to go to this evening," he says as he makes his way to the bathroom to shower.
I roll my eyes at the mention of the once monthly get together with members of his company.
"I haven't forgotten," I called out. I could hear the shower being turned on. I try to sink further into the cooling sheets to relax while Philip showered.
"It's being held at Rick and Lori's house," he yelled from the shower.
My body froze as the words sunk in. Rick and Lori's. Fate what a royal bitch you are. I pull myself from the sheets. Resting no longer on my mind. I padded across the thick, soft carpet to the entrance of the already steaming bathroom.
"Are you sure you wanna go?" I ask trying to keep my voice steady as I quickly thought of a way to convince my husband the diligent follow through on everything type to stay home. "Since it's my first night back home why don't we skip this one and stay home for the evening," I said sweetly hoping my husband would indulge me.
"You know we can't miss this," he said behind the frosted glass shower door.
"Just this once...please."
"Michonne... no. We have to be there. I will make it up to you once we get back home. I promise."
It will be too late then. I will have died a thousand times by the time the night was over.
The elaborate wooden door of the large home greeted us. I was wearing a modest knee length mauve colored v-neck dress and matching heels. Philip chose light colored slacks with a matching shirt. He was always one for maintaining appearances. If he only knew of the appearance I fought to maintain for this past year and a half. I could hear the celebration going on behind the door. I silently prayed that no one would answer. Unable to hear our arrival due to the noise but fate was ready once again. My heart beating in my chest like a hummingbird feeling as if it would explode at any moment.
She was there first. Her waife thin body in a knee-length green dress. Her smile was genuine as she greeted us. She pushed her long flowing brown hair back behind her ear, the movement showcasing her large wedding ring. This was an annoying habit of hers as if the size of the ring truly meant her husband loved her more. As she welcomes us into their gorgeous home I let my eyes travel around the entrance way with its high arched ceilings. She led us further into the home towards the main living area. The home was spacious but all of the executive's homes were. The guests here tonight are all top executives at Governor Drilling. Phillip is the CEO starting the company from nothing and building it into one of the leading drilling firms in the world.
I still haven't seen him. The numerous bodies idling about smiling and conversing amongst each other, but still no sign of my vice. Maybe his flight was delayed because of the weather. I began to ponder the idea that he was not here and relax a bit until I heard his unmistakable voice followed by a laugh. The laugh that could make the grumpiest person smile. The voice that has whispered the dirtiest things into my ear as we got lost within each other. I follow the timbred laugh and easily find him among the group of those who have gathered around him. Our eyes meet and he excuses himself and walks towards us. His bowlegged gait on full display in dark blue jeans and black button shirt.
"Phillip, I am glad you and Michonne were able to make it. I thought the rain may have delayed y'all," he says amiably as he takes Phillips hand in a firm handshake.
"No Michonne got back early from her trip."
"What about you? Did you have any problems with the weather."
"No, I didn't. I caught an early flight also."
"That's good," Phillip replies as he places his arm around my waist pulling me in closer. I see Rick's eyes follow the movement, his face unchanged except for the small uptick of his left brow. There was the jealous Rick I knew just hovering below the surface but he won't appear here because this is not the time or place for him and I am not his. His eyes move from Philip to me.
"Michonne how was your trip? Did you seal that big deal."
"I actually had to cancel it. It was becoming more than the client could handle," I say cagily letting my eyes drift up and away from his face.
"That's too bad."
Lori interrupts as the doorbell rings again. "Well, make yourselves at home. There are refreshments and finger food in the kitchen," she said as she tugs on Ricks' arm pulling him towards the front door for the next guest.
I breathe finally and follow Philip to the kitchen to pour myself a tall glass of wine. I prayed for this night to end quickly as I gulped down the drink.
They floated amongst their guests, greeting each one personally as the night went on. When they weren't conversing they were focused on each other as if no one else were in the room. All alone in their own perfect world. I watched as she threw her head back and laughed heartily at the joke whispered in her ear. He ignored me. I was happy for the reprieve of his stares and voice but four glasses of wine later I soon found myself becoming angry. I was angry that he would do this to me as if I didn't mean anything to him.
Love isn't supposed to hurt. It is supposed to be kind and gentle but I hurt. Outside I was poised and calm but inside I am a raging torrent of emotions that slice across my flesh as he speaks and loves on another. I feigned happiness as I hung onto my husband's arm smiling as he networks his way through the throngs of people.
I feel the shattered pieces of my heart cutting me on the inside. Slicing my lungs open. Oxygen was leaving me and I felt the room begin to spin. I hurry to the restroom down the hall from the small celebration. The small bathroom is dark as I fumble for the switch on the wall. The pain in my chest increasing each breath harder and harder to take. The pieces of my heart tumble from my chest to the pit of my stomach splashing heavily and rolling the contents and acidic bile around. I rush to the toilet vomiting my heart and lunch into the porcelain.
I rinsed my mouth out with water then mouthwash. I don't know how long I remained in the bathroom one minute maybe fifteen. I didn't know. What I did know was that when I opened that door I felt the air get sucked from the small space. He was standing there waiting for me. Nonchalantly leaning against that door frame his arms cross.
"What is it?" I say irritated at his cool demeanor and my frazzled one.
"I was checking if you were ok."
"I am fine," I try to go around him but he blocks my way.
He lowers his head slightly breathing deeply before he speaks again. His voice now lower filled with concern "No, you're not fine. You're falling apart out there."
"And whose fault is that … hmm."
"Why did you leave and not say goodbye?"
"You know why."
"I want you to tell me."
I point my index finger and waving it between us "We can't keep this going on. I can't keep doing this. Each time is harder and harder."
"I was pissed when I read that note."
"I don't know why. You knew this day was coming.. We both did."
He sighs as he runs his hand through his slightly tinged grey hair. It has always made him even more attractive to me "You're right but it doesn't have to end."
"Yes. Yes, it does. I am tired of loving you from a distance. I am tired of only having you to myself for only a short period of time. We both have our families and I think we should focus on that."
I knew my voice was trembling as I spoke that utter nonsense. Yes, it logically made sense but I knew this man would have to burn me to complete ash before I could be free but he will never know that. He will never know that in order to make sure that I didn't fall again I would soon be leaving with Philip to spend 6 months in Abu Dhabi. The distance and time would help me break from this spell completely. I try once again to get past his form but he walks forward making sure I remain in the bathroom. He quietly closes the door behind him engaging the lock.
"What are you doing?" I ask. My breath catching in my throat.
"I can't accept this."
"Well, you have to."
He invades my space placing his hand under my chin and lifts my face capturing my lips. My body reacts to the feel of his lips on mine. I hunger for him like a starving man. He pulls me roughly into his body. I can feel his growing bulge. I moan at the feel of his body pressed against mine. The heat of my delta throbbing and churning. He pulls away sliding his tongue across his lips. His pupils are wide and eyes the color of a stormy sea.
"We are not over," he unzips his pants pulling his erect cock out. "Not now," he grabs the hem of my dress and lifts it up exposing me to the cool air of the bathroom. " Not ever," his hand pulls my slick underwear to the side. I don't fight. I spread my legs open more giving him what we both need.
He enters me.