She loves me, she loves me
not.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
except myself.
Summary: Jubilee has found a new
different love, but doesn't know how to express her feelings…
~Jubilee's thoughts.
**
~I don't know what to do. I don't
know how to meet new people. I'm an X-Men, for crying out loud! Normal people
hate me! They fear me! They fear what I can do to them. They don't like what
they don't know. Me. Everyone has someone to care for and love, even here. Jean
has Scott, Marie has Logan, even though they don't like to admit it. Ororo has
Remy, Kitty has Kurt, Angel has Betsy, only Beast, the Professor and I are left
alone. How I wish I had someone who loved me, who would care for me. But wishes
never come true. I've learnt that a long time ago. Ever since I wished to be
normal and not have powers, I never made another wish again. They're senseless
things for senseless people to do.~
Jubilee finished the last
sentence in her diary, and locked it up again. Thinking back on what she had
just written, she felt a pang of her least favorite emotion – loneliness. She
hated being lonely. Since young friends and family who loved her had surrounded
her. Not that her mutant friends didn't love her now, they did. She was as
close to them as her family. It was just that she felt… left out. Everyone had
a partner except her.
Pulling on her favorite baby
blue tank top and a black leathery miniskirt, she grabbed a jacket to go along
with the outfit. Heading out, she decided to go to her most frequently visited
club – Silverz.
Upon reaching, she flashed her
ID and strutted confidently in, looking for some familiar faces to have a chat
with. To her horror, she found no one she knew.
~Damn! I have all the luck today. How come no one I know is here? Is today the
official stay-home-and-leave-Jubilee-lonely day? How is it possible that I
didn't know about it?!~
Jubilee felt frustrated. Even
her clubbing friends had deserted her.
Suddenly, she felt a gentle tap
on her shoulder. Turning around, she found herself staring into the most
beautiful eyes ever. She could drown in those lovely crystal clear
blueish-green almond shaped eyes.
~Wow!~ Jubilee felt her legs
giving way to the weight of her body.
Glancing up and down the
person's body, Jubilee observed that he had muscular tanned arms and legs. His
hair was cut short and spiked, giving him a gruff, handsome look. He had a
wonderful stomach too, all flat and muscular. His stylish clothes looked
awesome on him.
"Hey there," he greeted.
~Funny, his voice hasn't broke
yet. But he's way over puberty! Maybe he's a sissy…~
"Uh, hi!" Jubilee winced at the
sound of her high-pitched voice sounding too eager.
"So, you're here alone? Such a
beautiful girl like you should have company."
"Um, well, there's no one in
here that I know."
"You know me now." He replied,
giving her a smile, which caused her legs to melt and give way literally.
~Ouch! Why do I have to act like
such an idiot in front of all the guys I like?? He'll probably run far away
from me now..~ Jubilee thought as her butt hit the floor painfully.
"You ok?" Jubilee saw his
concerned face peering down at her. Grabbing onto the hand he offered her, she
pulled herself up and brushed the dust off her, trying to gather as much
dignity she had left.
"By the way, my name's Reese."
Jubilee felt as if the air had
been sucked out of her. She could not breathe.
~Oh no! This can't be! The only
'guy' I like…is a girl?!~
"I'm Jubilee. You're…not a guy?"
As the words came out of her mouth, she felt like an idiot for asking.
Reese smiled and shook her head.
"Oh, sorry."
"It's ok, I get that a lot. I
know I look a lot like a guy."
"You make a real handsome guy."
Jubilee and Reese smiled at each
other, sharing a close bond at once.
"So…you wanna come over to my
place?" asked Reese.
Jubilee nodded happily.
~Anything to avoid seeing those love-sick couples!~
The next few days, Jubilee and
Reese bonded very well. They went to the movies together, went clubbing
together, in general, they were inseparable. Jubilee was glad she had finally
found a good friend who shared the same ideas and thoughts as her. They talked
on the phone everyday, and soon everyone in the X Mansion noticed the drastic
change in Jubilee. She was much more cheerful and upbeat, which was a big
improvement from her glum self a few days ago.
One day, Jubilee was over at
Reese's place having a sleepover. They had just finished watching 10 Things I
Hate About You on television, and were getting ready to sleep.
Reese fell asleep first, as she
was tired from the day's activities. But, Jubilee stared into space for a while
before glancing at Reese.
Once again, she observed how
handsome Reese's boyish figures were. If Reese were a boy, she would definitely
fall in love with her. Suddenly, Jubilee felt like reaching over and giving
Reese a kiss on the lips.
~Oh my god! How did that thought
get into my mind?~ Jubilee
tried to banish it from her brain, but more thoughts just kept
flooding in.
~Reese is so good-looking. I
wonder if she likes me that way. She's got a cool sense of humor, a great
personality, and makes a good friend. Oh my goodness. I'm in love with her???~
As Jubilee came to that
conclusion, she quickly turned her gaze away from Reese. She gasped. She could
not bear to look Reese in the eye after such horrible thoughts.
~I'm a newly born Christian, for
crying out loud! And God doesn't like lesbians. He created men and women to
love each other and reproduce. For me to love another woman would be… a huge
crime in God's eyes. Oh man… how did I get myself into such deep shit? I'd
better leave now. Not seeing Reese would enable me to get over her. I hope.~
With that, Jubilee hurriedly
packed up her stuff and rushed back to the mansion, wishing she could turn back
time so that those thoughts never ever entered her mind.
For the next few days, she
avoided all contact with Reese. She stopped calling her, and did not take her
calls either. Eventually, some of her closer mutant friends came up to ask her
what happened, but she refused to tell anyone. It was her secret. She could not
imagine the humiliation she would bear if she ever told anyone about it.
Unfortunately for her, she could
not avoid Reese for the rest of her life. One sunny morning, Reese came
knocking on her bedroom door. As Jubilee stared in shock and embarrassment,
Reese came over and sat on the edge of her bed. Feeling uncomfortable, Jubilee
shifted a little further.
"Jubes, what's up with you? Why
have you been avoiding all my calls? Are you sick or something? Or are you
angry with me?"
Looking at Reese's concerned
face, Jubilee felt a twinge of guilt. She was such a horrible friend. It was
her fault that she had fallen in love with Reese, and now Reese was suffering
the consequences – losing a friend.
Jubilee hated herself for what
she was going to do next, but she knew she had to do it.
"Reese? You wanna know the real
reason why I avoided contact with you? Because you're disgusting. You gross me
out with your ugly looks and horrible character. You're about as exciting as a
piece of dry toast, and your sense of humor is worse than a grump's. Please get
lost. I never want to see you again." With that, Jubilee stormed into the
bathroom, slamming the door with all the strength she had left. Slouching down
and holding on to the door for support, she felt hot tears pricking at her
eyes. She let them cascade down her cheeks, expressing all the hurt and sadness
she felt losing a friend. She never wanted their friendship to end this way.
But she had no choice. She felt like such a bitch for hurting Reese that way.
She never wanted to see another
person in her whole life again.
**The end**
*Sorry if this is kinda lousy, I
rushed through the whole thing.*
