Dean methodically moved his arm to sharpen his machete, headphones in his ears. He brought the blade up for a moment to check the side of it before continuing.

He wasn't really listening to what was being said, it was all bullshit and he couldn't even believe that they were being spoken but he just listened to the voice, unfamiliar in that he hadn't heard it in person in ages but familiar enough that he would always know it.

Looking at his blade once more he used his teeth to pull his sleeve down and brought the machete up, easily slicing into his arm and watching the blood well up and relishing in the pain.

Dean gave a snort at the podcast he was listening to, throwing his blades to the bed in disgust as he grabbed a rag and dabbed at his arm to wipe the blood away. He grabbed his almost empty glass of alcohol and poured the remainder of it onto the cut and slid his sleeves back down, not caring that it was staining his cloth, it could just join the others.

He leaned back into his seat and grabbed the bottle, drinking straight from it as he continued to listen to the podcast.

He hated it, he hated all these podcasts that he listened to, and he disagreed with every last single word that was being said.

But he needed to listen to it, needed to hear the voice, just wanting to hear it and make sure that he was still alive and at the very least happy.

If kale could even bring happiness, maybe that was in the next podcast.

The podcast came to an end and Dean fought the urge to either start a new one or throw his phone against the wall so that he didn't have to listen to that crap anymore.

"God bless kale." Dean muttered under his breath, shaking his head. "The fuck is even kale?"

There was no answer in the empty room so he picked his phone up and went to lay down on the motel bed, bringing the bottle with him, and looked it up just out of curiosity, making a face and feeling his stomach churn slightly.

"Fucking rabbit food." Dean said lightly tossing his phone to the side. He lasted for a couple of seconds before he picked his phone back up and rewinded the podcast.

Just like before he wasn't really listening for the words or what was being said, this time he just watched the video, staring at the speaker.

He wasn't smiling Dean noted, he gave the motion of smiling but it didn't even come near to reach his eyes nor did his body relax. He looked thin, most likely from all that stupid kale he was probably eating and no meat.

Dean sighed heavily and leaned back into the mattress, tightening his hold on his phone. His teeth gritted slightly.

"No hobbies, no family, just fucking kale." Dean muttered bitterly. "Isn't that just the life little brother?"

Dean breathed out slowly and yanked his headphones out of his ears harshly, tossing everything to the side and grabbing the bottle before taking a deep pull from it.

"You got the normal life you wanted." Dean told the room, feeling the anger and the disgust churning in his chest. He wasn't sure if it was aimed towards himself or to his brother. "Hope you're happy."

Dean took another drink, enjoying the burn and the pain as he swallowed, looking down at the array of healed over cuts littering on his arms. "Hope it was worth it."

I do not own Supernatural.

40/365

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