So here we are: my first anime fanfiction in a very long time. I have been itching to write Bleach fanfiction for the longest time.

This is an AU fanfiction. So there will be OOC and inconsistencies but that's why we have AU right? We can all dream, can't we? Ha-ha.

Again, this is a Yaoi fanfiction there will male pairings, precisely Ichigo/Uryuu, Yumichika/Ikkaku and Grimmjow/Ulquiorra. There will be straight pairings too. If you don't like Yaoi please don't flame simply because your interests lie elsewhere.

Happenings in this chapter:

-Ichigo and Uryuu discuss Ichigo's Xbox

-Yumichika finds a pair of panties in his and Ikkaku's room.

-Ulquiorra gives relationship advice in his own strange way.

WARNINGS: Mentions of sex and panties

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

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Chapter One: Day to Day

Classes were a drag. They're always a drag and always will be. They either meet Monday Tuesday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday OR the long classes were on just Monday and Wednesday. Yeah, see it's confusing. Sadly, Uryuu Ishida did not own a printer so he was stuck scribing his schedule on the front page of the too small notebook he never seemed to be without. Ichigo observed how everything was color coded in this small notebook. Phone numbers, reminders, and homework assignments were organized by color and date in this small red leather bound notebook.

"Stop going through my things." Uryuu said from the bathroom where he was organizing something or other. There was so much stuff in there Ichigo as surprised he knew what was what. The thing is, all of it was Uryuu's. The only thing Ichigo had in there was a toothbrush and soap, normal guy soap none of that flowery shit.

"How do you do that?" Ichigo asked putting the half-pint notebook back into Uryuu's messenger bag. They'd only just gotten back home after class. Uryuu took four classes whereas Ichigo took two.

"I'm psychic, Ichigo." Uryuu said stepping out of the bathroom wiping his hands on a paper towel and throwing it away. He pushed his glasses up on his nose. "You check my cell phone too?" His sarcasm was obvious but good natured.

"I don't go through all your things. I'm not nosy." Ichigo said sitting back in his desk chair looking furtively back at his laptop.

"No, you're not. You just get bored easily." Uryuu replied with a smirk. Ichigo huffed.

"Well I wouldn't be so bored if you weren't cleaning every second of the day." Ichigo replied with a glum sigh.

"You have a TV and an Xbox; you don't need me to entertain me all the time." Uryuu replied going to his sewing. He was working on mending a skirt. He wished Ayasegawa-san would appreciate his services just a little more. Just because he did it for free didn't mean Yumichika could be so careless with his costumes.

"I swear you bought that for me so you'd have more time sewing." Ichigo remarked turning in his chair to look back at the chair. A smirk crossed Uryuu's lips.

"No, that's why I let you buy more games." Uryuu said pulling the thread again and tying it off.

"Then why did you buy me the Xbox?" Ichigo quizzed. Uryuu let out a breathy noise that sounded remotely like a laugh.

"You whined about it for weeks." He replied tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.

"So it was to shut me up." Ichigo said as Uryuu got up to put the folded skirt in the plastic Wal-Mart bag Yumichika had put the skirt in.

"Something like that." Uryuu replied. "And to see the look on your face." The smirk turned into a good natured smile. Ichigo could hear the smile from where he was sitting. That's one of the things he loved about Uryuu. He didn't have to display a lot of emotion; you could just hear it in his voice without even looking at him. What he didn't expect was Uryuu to wrap his arms around him as he typed away on his laptop. They didn't lead a very touchy-feely relationship, especially because Ichigo was still in the closet regarding their relationship. Sure his family had some vague idea of his relationship but to his knowledge, none of their friends knew. Uryuu was patient with him but he got a few hints that his patience was slowly running very…thin. Like right now, Uryuu was hugged around him like he was asking for a piggy back ride. "Still working on your Psychology paper?"

"Yeah, it's harder…"

"…than it looks, yes, yes I know." There was another hint. That short stifled sigh of frustration…or was it irritation? Well whatever it was it was starting to bother him. They were "roommates" to anyone outside of the relationship. Ichigo was perfectly happy with that for now. Maybe he shouldn't have expected Uryuu to just accept it. "It's due in a week, finish it soon if you want me to proof-read it." Uryuu said. Was that a warning?

"Yeah I know." Ichigo replied sighing.

"Are you all right?" Mixed signals abound. Now Ichigo had no idea what Uryuu wanted or maybe he was just over-analyzing the whole situation or maybe Uryuu knew he'd obsess over this and was planning to manipulate him into being some whipped dog, or maybe Uryuu was trying to get him too…now he was just being paranoid.

"My head hurts." Ichigo set his head on the desk with an audible "thump". There was that breathy laugh again. Uryuu started to gently massage Ichigo's temples. "That feels good…" Ichigo sighed out. He took Uryuu's hand and kissed it. He'd like to believe he was the only one who knew about the scars on Uryuu's hands but Yumichika probably knew and Ulquiorra if the two were on speaking terms still…and maybe Orihime did but they didn't hang out as much as they used to. But in the end, he supposed that didn't matter. He turned around and leaned up to kiss Uryuu's lips. What mattered is that he had Uryuu now and he loved him. He just needed a little more time. "C'mere." He pulled Uryuu into his lap with a wolfish grin. After a brief minute of heated kissing, Ichigo pulled back. "When do you have rehearsal?" He asked snaking a hand up Uryuu's shirt. Uryuu looked at the clock. It was 2:00.

"I have time."

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2:00 was about the time Yumichika and Ikkaku were pouring themselves out of bed. Yumichika always woke up gracefully. Why? Because he was fucking Yumichika Ayasegawa what other reason did he need? He always seemed to yawn at just the right moment and stretch at just the right angle. You would think he was waking up at the crack of dawn not the middle of the afternoon. Maybe it's because Yumichika had actually woken up earlier to clean around the house they shared with…ugh…lots of other people. This place might as well have been a Frat house. Most people just called their house 11 because of the address and it was kind of infamous.

"Yumi…?" Ikkaku woke when the weight of the bed shifted. He grabbed Yumichika's hand before he got out of bed. "What're you…?"

"It's 2:00. We have class in an hour." Yumichika replied leaning over and kissing the other on the cheek. Ikkaku grumbled and glanced at the clock.

"Shiiiiiiit." The bald man muttered sitting up and yawning. "How long were we up last night?"

"You rolled in at about five." Yumichika replied sitting up and reaching for his cell phone. Ikkaku was silent for a minute as he watched Yumichika continue to pick things up and straighten things around the room.

"You're mad." He stated.

"What?"

"You're mad at me."

"No I'm not." Ikkaku would've bought that, if Yumichika hadn't hesitated before he said it.

"Bullshit." He retorted. Yumichika sighed and went to his bag sitting by the door to continue looking for his cell phone.

"Did you have my phone last night?" He asked. Ikkaku grunted in irritation.

"Don't change the subject, will ya?" He bleated. Yumichika rummaged around for his phone. He picked apart a pile of clothes he was sure were neither his nor Ikkaku's. "Why are you so bent out of shape?" Yumichika didn't answer until he found the cell phone among the strange assortment of clothing. "Yumi, answer me."

"This place is ugly." Yumichika replied flatly. He gestured around the room. He picked up a pair of panties. "Really?" He asked rhetorically.

"Ugly? What's wrong with it?" Ikkaku didn't quite catch his meaning. Yumichika sighed and ran a hand through his hair then promptly straightened it.

"It's dirty." He elaborated. "I'm not a maid either. It's an ugly position, cleaning up after you all day."

"Ah, Yumi, you know how much I hate to clean…" Ikkaku groaned. "Gimme a break…" He promptly received a face full of clothes in response. Once he got everything out of his face, Yumichika had turned on his heel and left.

Downstairs, Yumichika was on his cell phone while putting up some of the dishes left from the others who had early classes in Zaraki's boarding house. He honestly hated cleaning, but he couldn't stand to see everything look so dirty and ugly. No matter how many times everyone insisted leaving it dirty. Some people called that OCD. He called keeping things beautiful.

"H-Hello?" About time he picked up…

"Ah, Uryuu-kun." Yumichika replied as he turned on the dishwasher. "I was wondering…?"

"Is this…ah…important?"

"Are you okay?"

"Umm…ahn…I'm…ah…fine." Yumichika smirked. He kind of wished he was having crazy-hot midday sex too. But he had class in the next forty five minutes. "Will you stop, you're the one who said I should…ah…! Answer the phone." There was grumbling from the person Ishida was talking to. Yumichika felt proud that Ishida had trusted him to be one of the two people who knew about Ichigo.

"About my costume…"

"I'll have it at…ah, stop it." Ishida took a minute to regain his breath. "Rehearsal tonight."

"Great, thanks." Yumichika said. "Have fun." He hung up the phone and left Ishida to his afternoon delight. He heard the shower run and he knew it was Ikkaku. He could just tell by now. They'd been together since Junior Year and they were both fifth year seniors. Yumichika had a double major and Ikkaku well…was Ikkaku. He was tired of how predictable they'd become though. They weren't a married couple for Christ's sake. He knew once he left the shower, Ikkaku had the potential to run them both late so he always had some manner of food on the counter top and both they're bags in his hand. Yumichika had even gotten into the habit of waking up early just to shower, even if he went right back to bed afterwards. Maybe he really was just the maid.

Sure enough precisely at 1:45 Ikkaku came downstairs pulling on a shirt and grabbing the sandwich Yumichika left for him off of the plate. Yumichika handed him his bag as they both left the house. Ikkaku stole a few cursory glances at Yumichika who was still visibly bothered, and silent. A quiet Yumichika was never a good sign. He tried on numerous occasions to start a conversation, but walking time only took about ten minutes.

When they parted ways, Ikkaku went to kiss Yumichika who merely received the kiss. Leaving Ikkaku disgruntled and frustrated. He watched Yumichika strut off the opposite way before trudging to Chemistry. He hated Chemistry mostly because he was stuck sitting beside Yumichika's creepy friend Ulquiorra.

As usual, there Ulquiorra was reading a book like the Philosophy Major he was, gently reclined in the lecture hall chair, decked in a black and white checked hoodie and girl pants to boot. He never understood why Yumichika liked this kid so much. He didn't bother to say hi to the Emo kid at first. Ulquiorra was more than happy to ignore him for the moment. The two were never on speaking terms anyway. That's why it was such a surprise when Ikkaku actually spoke up.

"Did Yumichika say anything about me?" He asked. Ulquiorra peeked over his book for a minute to scrutinize him then went back to reading.

"He always does."

"Do you know why he's mad at me? Has he said anything about that?" Ikkaku pressed. Ulquiorra turned a page and read half of it before answering.

"What time did you get home last night?"

"Why the hell would that even be…" Ikkaku was cut off by a hard stare from Ulquiorra's calculating eyes. He could feel the kid judging him. "Yumichika said it was around…five?"

"You woke up in bed?"

"Yeah."

"What was he doing when you woke up?"

"Cleaning, he's always so obsessed with making everything perfect." Ikkaku said fuming over his now open Chemistry Book.

"What did you eat today?"

"Something Yumi made. What does this have to…" Suddenly it dawned on him. "Oh."

"Ayasegawa-san loves you. But he hates having to clean up after you." Ulquiorra said simply turning another page.

"He did say something about not being a maid." As proud as he was, Ikkaku's greatest downfall was Yumichika. He was practically dying with guilt and Ulquiorra was secretly enjoying it too. "I just told him…"

"…How much you hate cleaning." Ikkaku sank in his chair.

"Yeah…" He mumbled.

"At least thank him." Ulquiorra said in that same odd monotone voice. There was silence between them as the lecture went on.

"You know, I can kind of see why Yumichika likes you now, Schiffer." Ikkaku said once the lecture ended. He offered to shake the other's hand. Ulquiorra just stared at Ikkaku's hand for a long moment. "It's a handshake, what's wrong with it?"

"I don't touch trash." Ulquiorra replied turning on his heel and leaving an angry, shouting Ikkaku in his wake.

Outside of the classroom, an arm was suddenly draped over his shoulders but it didn't surprise him. In fact, he didn't even have to look.

"Hello, Grimmjow." He replied smoothly. There was a tiny upward curving of the lips as Grimmjow planted an unabashed and…kind of wet…kiss on Ulquiorra's cheek. "I take it you want to walk me home?"

"Of course, I've gotta protect what's mine." Grimmjow reported proudly. Unlike Yumichika and Ikkaku, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra had gone out for all of a month.

"Hn." Grimmjow didn't let the lack of response bother him, in fact he planted another kiss directly on Ulquiorra's lips. He pulled away with a proud grin once Ulquiorra kissed back. Grimmjow was determined to be the only person to ever make Ulquiorra blush and while he'd never say it out loud, Ulquiorra was too.

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So…good? Bad? It's been such a long time since I've done these things. I would like a review that would really do me some good. I love you readers.

Plans for next chapter (subject to change)

-Uryuu, Yumichika and Ulquiorra meet for rehearsal.

-Yumichika lets a secret slip.

-Uryuu tries to avoid a creepy professor.

-Ulquiorra fails at domestic tasks.

See you later Wobbly H!

-East