First Sherlock Holmes Fic! I am not used to the old English style of speech yet, and I am going by knowledge of the movie. Just thought I'd make this little comedy.
Enjoy~!
Watson leaned against something cold and hard. Slowly opening his eyes, he attempted to rub his eyes with his hands, only to find they were bound by ropes. Alarmed, he jerked up, taking notice of his surroundings. Sounds burst towards him from all directions, as his senses kicked into gear. His head was in a daze; the last thing he remembered was feeling dizzy.
As he gazed around, he noticed his was on a stage, squeezed next to other items of sentimental value, including a faded red dress, a laced bra, and some panty hoses. He looked away, blushing, a picture of Mary forcing itself into his mind. Before him was a crowd of people gazing at him hungrily. They were sweaty, and shouting and pushing and shoving each other. Watson has been in these situations before, but there was one thing that immediately stood out.
He was in a cage.
A rather small cage. He only had so much space to move around it.
"What in the bloody hell?" Watson shouted more in shock than anger.
Watson flinched when an umbrella smacked his cage angrily. A tall man with twisted mustache glared at him, then gazed away into the crowd.
"And now we have a man bound by ropes in a cage! A fine, butler! Do I hear 200?" He called into the crowd.
"Is-is this an auction?" Watson exclaimed, growing even more surprised by the minute. In all his days with Holmes, he had never found himself in quite a strange situation.
"He talks!" a rather sweaty fat man shouted, leaning onto the stage, staring at Watson in amazement.
"Of course I talk! I am a fully grown man!" Watson retorted back angrily. "And I do not belong in a cage either!"
The people crowded next to the fat man and stared at Watson in wonder. One of them looked up at the man on the stage and shouted, "You said he was a mute!"
The man on the stage sweated, looking uneasy.
"What the devil?" Watson muttered to himself. He struggled to recall his memories before he passed out but was disappointed with nothing. Just a dull blankness.
"He is valuable, nonetheless!" The man on the stage shouted. "A well groomed butler, also with great medical knowledge!" He called.
"I'll give 250!" A woman called in the back.
"275!" Another called.
Watson blanched. Where the hell was Holmes when he needed him? Clenching his eyes shut, Watson shouted, "HOLMES!"
He jumped from the immediate response.
"Yes, old boy?" Holmes said, appearing behind the fat man, squeezing his way through none too graciously.
"Get me out of here!" Watson shouted. Nobody seemed to notice really, it was chaos already.
Holmes patted his pockets thoughtfully. "I'm not sure I have enough money."
"HOLMES!"
"Alright, alright, old boy. Just a moment." Holmes said as he began searching his pockets, trying to not be pushed too roughly and drop the money.
Watson stared at him in anticipation. He glanced nervously over the crowd as the man on the stage said, "275? Do I hear 275?" When nobody responded, he said, "275 going once, 275—"
Holmes cut him off immediately shouting, "300!" Holding a wad of cash in the air.
Someone groaned in the back. People looked at Holmes angrily, some not even concealing their jealousy.
"300? Do I hear more? 325 per chance?" The man seemed to beg.
"325!"
Watson stared at Holmes anxiously, silently begging. Holmes caught his eye, and shrugged, looking sheepish. Watson looked alarmed. He immediately started twisting around, trying to loosen the ropes around his hands.
Meanwhile, Holmes stuffed the money in his mouth, and lifted one leg up to take off his shoe. He shook his shoe several times, and a few coins and a piece of parchment fell out. "Aha." He muttered satisfied.
"325 going once, 325 going twice—"
"400!" Holmes yelled, holding his fists of money in the air. Watson let out a breath he had been holding. He sighed in relief.
"400 to the man up front!" The man yelled, unlocking Watson's cage. The man yanked on a rope that was attached to Watson's wrists. Watson yanked his fists back, and the roped sailed out of the man's hands.
Holmes caught it with his left hand, and helped his friend off the stage. He yanked the rope lightly. "Let's go, slave." Holmes said with a straight face.
Watson, so relieved he could cry, just chuckled softly to himself. Holmes walked ahead, the roped in his hands walked forward while Watson limped behind after him.
"Holmes," he said, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't recall you ever holding that much money. Where did you get it from?" He asked in a light tone.
Holmes and Watson entered a carriage. As they were both seated, Holmes shrugged. "That fat man beside me does not know how to keep a hold of his money. And I always keeps a small amount in my left shoe, should the need ever arise, which it did." Holmes concluded, jutting his chin out slightly.
Watson exhaled. "Thank you." He muttered quietly. Holmes nodded, amusement written all over his face.
After a few moments of silence, Watson raised up his hands in front of him and said, "So, are you going to untie these ropes from my wrists?"
The carriage stopped in front of their apartment, and Holmes shrugged, tugging on the rope, jerking Watson up. Watson shivered when he saw a weird glint in Holmes eyes.
"Not yet." He said as he led them up to their room.
I suck at writing old English. I was looking at the other Sherlock Holmes stories and I was like "Oh! That looks easy enough."
WELL IT'S NOT. T_T
I'd love it if you'd review. 3
It is so hard not to ship these two together after seeing the movie. I've seen it three times and gushed like a stupid obsessed fangirl! 3
Review?