This is based on stereotypes about the countries, so their characters are somewhat exaggerated.

Poland was doing his job, innocently unclogging the toilet when the doorbell rang. The Pole looked up from his task, setting the plunger to the side. "Who could it be at this hour?" he wondered aloud, for it was 2:00 in the morning. Why was he unclogging a toilet at 2:00 in the morning, you ask? Well, it's because everything is upside down in Poland, so 2:00 in the morning is 2:00 in the afternoon.

Anyway, he gave his hands before moving to open the door.

"Poland, I know you are in there," came the voice from the other side.

"R-rosja?" Now Poland was really scared, because in the past, Russia coming to his doorstep at odd times only meant that something bad was about to happen. Which something was.

"Да," said Russia. "Now letting me in, or else I will making door explode with vodka grenade."

"Please no!" He opened the door, allowing the tall fellow Slav in. Timidly, he asked, "What is it you want from Polan?"

Russia smiled. Oddly, there was no menace radiating from him this time. "I want to give you a present for being such good neighbor, Да?"

"Present?" the Pole blinked.

Nodding, Russia gave handed him a key. "I give you new shiny car from Germany!"

"New car for me?" He couldn't believe it. But there it was, parked in front of his house, a shiny new Volkswagen. When was the last time someone had done something kind for poor Poland? The blond started to cry, and he threw his arms around the tall Russkie. "Many thankings, Russia! Polan is so sad these days, underpaid for unclogging Western Europe toilets, and Litwa doesn't like me anymore."

"Anything for my Slavic brother."

After Russia left, Poland went back to his toilet unclogging business. But it was only a few minutes later before he was interrupted again.

"POLEN!" barked the militaristic voice of a certain prominent EU member (über alles in der Welt).

"Niemcy!" exclaimed Poland. When he opened the door, he was greeted with a punch to the face.

"FICK DICH, POLEN! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MEIN AUTO!"

"Please, no, I didn't!"

"THEN TELL ME WHAT MY NEW VOLKSWAGEN IS DOING IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE!" Germoney grabbed Poland by the collar and hauled him up.

"Rosja gave it to me! He says it is gift!" Poland protested.

Meanwhile, in the background, Russia laughed evilly as he watched as Germany beat the crap out of the poor, poor Pole. "Xaxaxaxa! Poland, I trick you!"

End

AN: There are an awful lot of stolen German cars that end up in Poland, but the majority of the car thieves are from further East, mostly Russia and former Soviet countries.

Xaxaxaxaxa: Russian laughter

Polan: "Poland" in Polish

Niemcy: "Germany" in Polish

Rosja: "Russia" in Polish

Polen: "Poland" in German

Fick dich: "F you" in German

Да: "yes" in Russian