Disclaimer: Do not own.
AN: SO. XigDem Day is three days away, and I am STOKED. So I wrote this. It's technically not XigDem, but who cares! And Xaldin's in it, too! 8D
So, yeah, you know the drill. Enjoy! C:
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A Mer at the Shore
By Eden
The smell of the sea filled his senses as his boots crunched through the white sand at his feet. Gulls cried out overhead, and Xigbar thought he could hear the distant call of sailors as their ship docked at the nearby port.
He felt a pang in his chest where he was certain a heart should be. Gauzy memories floated to the surface—memories that were barely even a whisper of existence now—of when he used to work and sweat would pour down his face; when he used to sail the vast oceans surrounding Radiant Garden, looking for adventure beyond what he would believe to be his wildest fantasies; when it was just him, and the depths.
But those days were long gone now, as he watched the waves lick at the shore's smooth side.
Gone, belonging to another person that might've been him long ago, in a time that didn't matter anymore.
"Nostalgic, Number Two?" came a voice behind Xigbar, and his muscles automatically tensed and readied themselves for combat; luckily, though, he was able to pinpoint just whose voice it was, and he turned one golden eye to the figure behind him.
He shrugged to the figure, a smirk plastered to his face. It was his trademark "you-think-you-know-everything-but-you-don't-because-I-do" look.
"I don't get nostalgic, Three" was his crooked answer, his crooked smile remaining.
For such a big guy, Xaldin had the uncanny ability to just float around, never making a single noise, even when one would think that he would with his immense size. However, he was as quiet as the wind—perhaps even quieter—never making a single noise, even when brushing over the leaves in the trees.
"I just thought you were; you had that look on your face," Xaldin responded, brushing aside Xigbar's confident look as if it were nothing more than dust under a rug. "And besides, there's no time for nostalgia. Xemnas will be expecting us to report back soon. You know he doesn't like to keep his sources too far outstretched."
"Yeah, yeah," Xigbar said, shortly, with a nonchalant wave of his hand. "You worry too much for your own good, Three; you sure you don't gotta heart, givin' ya those kinds of emotions, buried up under all that muscle, after all?"
Xaldin paused, his stare a new and frightening kind of blank.
"Don't even joke, Two."
"Hey, 'sall I got left," Xigbar said, turning his back on Xaldin and looking back out toward the sea.
He heard the familiar opening of the portal, and Xaldin's voice telling him, "Don't dawdle," before he slipped quietly inside the blossom of black and violet smoke.
And then it was back to the sound of the sea—the waves, the lapping of water against the sand, the quiet, almost warming sound of sails billowing in the distance.
Xigbar walked to the water's edge and waited. For what, he didn't know. He just wanted to wait. For something—anything.
It wasn't like he had anything better to do. Being a Nobody required composure, a lack of caring. Because if one cared too much, he would eventually drive himself insane from the realization that he lacked the one thing that mattered in life: the heart. The ability to really feel, and not just pretend—to make believe.
And it was then that a voice—a quiet, almost nonexistent voice—cut into his thoughts:
"Hello…?"
Xigbar's eyebrows furrowed, and he looked into the ocean. There in the water was a small figure, bobbing, slowly paddling toward him.
Of course Xigbar was perplexed. He kept his eye focused on the small being, now getting closer as the waves pulled it in. He kneeled by the water's edge, resting an arm on his bent knee.
The figure came closer, and Xigbar made it out as a most assuredly ethereal entity, with ivory-like, milky skin and eyes matching the hue of the ocean. The entity's hair was wet from the ocean, slicked back against the skull and darkened slightly from its dampness; perhaps, dried, it would be honey-colored, or maybe even a little richer and more yellowed.
The entity spoke again, in a much clearer, more distinct voice this time:
"Are you… a human?"
It was here that the entity pulled up close, wrapping a delicate hand around one of the wooden columns at the dock to Xigbar's left and keeping hidden in its shadow. Xigbar could tell from here that it was more masculine than feminine, but all the same was ethereal, like he didn't quite belong in this realm.
Xigbar chuckled, saying, "Well, close as I can be."
The entity stared at Xigbar intently with those sea-shaded eyes before asking, "Are you… not afraid of me…? Are all humans… like you?"
Pausing, Xigbar got into a more comfortable position, sitting in the sand and crossing his legs, Indian-style. He scooted closer to the being beneath the dock, who had also seemingly gotten closer as well. They were fascinated by one another, it seemed.
"Well, I don't see a reason to be afraid of you, and really, all…" and here he paused again, tiptoeing around the word "humans" and instead continuing with "beings… have their differences."
Splashing a little in the water, the ethereal being continued on, gaining courage, "I've never seen a being like you this close before. I've always been told to stay away from them."
"Then why are you here?"
The being bit his lip.
"Curious," he said shortly, the other hand coming up to grasp the other side of the wooden railing.
Xigbar gave a short "ah," then, "Curiosity is a dangerous thing. Gets a lot of people into a lot of trouble, sometimes."
And it was true. If Braig and Ansem's other assistants hadn't been so curious, they might still be back at Radiant Garden, hearts intact.
"And what about you?" the being asked, eyes staring deep into Xigbar. They almost made him uncomfortable, and yet, simultaneously, he couldn't help but keep his one good eye latched to those twin orbs. "Why are you here?"
"Me?" Xigbar began, then chuckled, noticing that the being was now a mere foot or less away. His skin was truly marvelous, and his hair hung loose and barely touched the beginning of his shoulders. Even as a Nobody, Xigbar could admit beauty when he saw it.
Leaning back on his arms, Xigbar said, "Got no where else to go, I guess. Just a soul, floating around, looking for purpose."
The sentiment of the thought was deep, and many would say that it was uncharacteristic, but Xigbar knew things—things that he didn't reveal to others often, lest he get a chance to talk about them. Which, of course, was never very often.
"Everyone has purpose," the entity said, and his hands—those delicate, almost porcelain hands—dug into the sand, as though he were trying to hoist himself onto shore. However, he kept his lower torso in the water. "That's what I've been told. That everyone is important and equal."
Xigbar mulled it over, but for only a few moments. It was an ideal that was much too good to be true—why, if everyone was equal, then why was he here now, a half-person trying to scrape back what was lost to him? Even if he and his comrades had done a wrong, bad thing, he didn't think it fair for the universe—or whatever—to take everything that mattered away.
It simply… wasn't fair.
But Xigbar wasn't about to play that card against the universe, as it was simply childish, nor destroy this being's ideas of the way the strands of space were held together.
"Yeah, you're probably right," he said after a time, leaning back his head and letting the sounds of the waves take him somewhere else. It was so calming. It almost made him remember Braig, his stride strong as he made his way across the ship's scaffolding, his hands strong and callused as he worked the ropes on the ship, raised the sails, and ordered his crew to set sail.
But the memories always seemed to slip into a veil of mist.
"What… what is your name?" the entity asked, breaking into Xigbar's thoughts, and the Nobody looked down at him. The entity's hands were now reaching up and around his legs, pulling him up further on the sand, toward Xigbar. Those fingers were so thin, spindly, and Xigbar feared that if he were to touch any one of them, they would break off in his hands.
Xigbar grinned and glanced at the being's lower half, now that it had immersed from the water; where legs would have been was a long, slender blue-green fish-like-tail. Those scales, still wet from the wetness of the ocean, glimmered and glistened in the light of the sun. The membranous-like skin of the fin at the end of the tail raised momentarily, and Xigbar couldn't help but notice just how gracefully it seemed to twitch as it separated from the surface of the water.
"Only if you tell me what you are," Xigbar commented, and by now the entity was pulling up close, examining Xigbar with utmost scrutiny. His thin, pale arms were up around his torso, and he seemed to have less of an idea of what "personal space" was than Xigbar, which was a dangerous thing.
Looking deeply into Xigbar's face, the entity lifted up one hand and began, very slowly and cautiously, to ghost it over the scar on Xigbar's cheek. The gesture was very nearly maddening to Xigbar. He had almost forgotten what seeing true beauty in another being could do to him, being locked up in Never Was for what seemed like an eternity; but alas, he found he could feel nothing, which prodded him into feeling such madness.
Then the being paused a moment, folding over those delicate fingers of his and saying, "Only if you tell me what happened to you."
Xigbar couldn't help but grin, even wider than he had been a short while ago. Well, that was just a bit unexpected, but that was what he liked: the unexpected.
"Things," Xigbar said, shortly. Even if he did remember all the things that had happened to him, it's not like he would divulge to some stranger… or, perhaps, he would. Maybe, to this one. There just seemed to be something odd, attractive perhaps, in the movements of this fish-person. "Things that I'm sure would turn your stomach inside-out."
The entity smiled, then, and one of his fingers brushed gently against the scar. Xigbar imagined that if he had had the ability to, he would have shivered, shuddered; but alas, it was not to be.
And yet… he wished he could just allow himself the pleasure of feeling something either than nothing run through him—ached for it.
"My turn. What are you?"
The fish-person-entity began to trail a finger over the eyepatch and said, "We go by many names, but you can just call me a mer-person."
He seemed fascinated by the vinyl of the patch, and Xigbar didn't complain. It was nice for someone to take interest in him, for once.
Then he stopped, suddenly, leaning his face in. His skin was smooth, even up close.
"And your name, now, human? Can I know it?"
Xigbar laughed. He noticed the "mer" was now completely out of the water, sand collecting on his soft bluish scales, and very nearly in Xigbar's lap.
And he decided to answer him, for the sake of being friendly, "Xigbar."
"Xigbar…" the fish-person seemed perplexed by the name, and now his hand began once more to ghost across the Nobody's face. Xigbar allowed his eye to close. It was such a… pleasant feeling. He didn't need a heart to know what something good felt like.
"Xigbar, will we ever see each other again?"
And Xigbar opened his eye, then, to look at the mer, whose face was now mere inches away from his own. It startled him, actually, but sadly, he found himself unmoved.
"Well—"
But before he could even answer, the entity pulled quickly away, his neck jerking in an odd way, like an animal surprised by a strange sound.
Suddenly, he crawled backwards into the water, using his arms awkwardly—as though they were not too used to bearing weight—and with one, resounding splash, he was back in the water and out of sight.
"Two, really, that's enough dawdling," Xaldin's voice seemed to resound from everywhere and nowhere, and Xigbar turned about as the other Nobody stepped from the portal, his violet eyes on him probing.
Of course, Xigbar simply shrugged.
"Enjoyin' the waves, Three. Just enjoyin' the waves."
Xaldin said nothing for a while, and then, "Then I suppose you should never return here, if it is such a distraction," with his arms crossed over his large chest.
"Such a wet blanket," Xigbar mumbled, and he took it that this was his cue to follow Xaldin through the portal, "stompin' on my fun like this."
"Better than having to explain to the Superior why you're not doing your job," Xaldin countered, a tiny, almost insignificant smile gracing his features.
Xigbar began to walk toward the portal as Xaldin entered, but he stopped, just a moment to look back. He could see, under the dock, two teal eyes staring at him. They seemed to glow, even in the darkness of the shadows.
And the Nobody couldn't help but smile as he walked into the portal, turning his back on those beautiful, shimmering eyes.
He may never come back here, nor see the "mer" again, but he was certain—certain in a way that not even he could explain—that he would see those beautiful eyes again... the eyes of the mer he had once met at the shore.