Hello~ hahha, so this is all I could think of for the sequel, and I'm sorry if this wasn't what you had in mind ^^; but i tried my best =X so i hope I don't get such negative reviews...? haha, ouh well im just hoping to get some reviews for this one ^^;
flames are totally welcome.. as long as you state your reason why. (: because i don't think it's very nice if u just start bashing someone's story just because you are against yaoi or something like that, you know? hahah, so please, if there but be a flame, then gimme a reason why.
uhhhm I don't own KHR, though I wish i did, I really wish I did. But sadly, I only own the plot. D:
ouh and another thing. I don't know if you guys... errr, girls think that Tsuna has rank mood swings, but he has a psychological problem which will be explained in the second or third chapter =X
AND IT WILL BE TOTALLY MADE UP (that psychological problem of his) SO IF YOU DON'T THINK IT SOUNDS ANYTHING LIKE SOME KIND OF MIND DISORDER THEN THAT'S BECAUSE IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE =X
sorry for this long rant but I seriously hope you read it (all this bold font stuff)
Warning(s): not really rape, just mild sex, obsession, uhhhn, yaoi? psychologically unstable!Tsuna
It had become some sort of twisted obsession of his, but Reborn had started to enjoy watching Tsuna cry. The way those perfectly shaped tears fell down his cheeks was enticing to say the least and the hitman found himself hurting the other more and more with each passing day just to see them. And just like that, he felt like he was falling deeper and deeper into the depths of hell after every session they had with each other late into the night.
Reborn didn't know what else to do, he had already gone too far to even think of going back now, but he felt like something was keeping the brunette from repeatedly saying 'I hate you' and meaning it. He wanted- needed the boy to hate him to atone for what he's been doing. And yet, he never really did feel guilty for taking advantage of the youngin.
This night really was no different from what he had been doing for the past 6 years, Bianchi was going to Paris for a week or so and he found himself tempted to have the other again. Maybe that was why he was standing in front of the large oak doors and slowly opening them to reveal the white walled room full of black polished furniture.
Once he had successfully gotten in and shut the door, he made his way through the mini living room and into Tsuna's private bunk, weaving his way through the glass table and couch that was stopping him from walking in a straight path and as quietly as he could, sat down on the soft bed, providing enough space for him so that the bed wouldn't dip when he sat himself down. The brunette had grown into something quite beautiful, so to say.
His lips had grown thicker over the years and seemed to be growing into the habit of pouting, his hair was the same as always but the colour was a bit darker now, he had fair and flawless skin, and his body had also matured over the years. No longer that helpless body that couldn't do anything but stare at his friend's backs as they protected him, he now lead them and they followed him whole-heartedly. Reborn leaned over and softly brushed his index finger against the pale cheek until it reached his lips.
He then switched his index finger with his thumb and grazed it across Tsuna's bottom lip. At that moment the brunette's eyes fluttered open and drowsily took in what was happening. Once he had done so, he let out a soft gasp and attempted to sit up and back away from the intruder. Reborn held him down with one hand and shook a finger at him, "Ah, ah, ah, dame-Tsuna. What do you think you're doing?" he bent down to kiss that pale, slender neck and trapped the lithe body (compared to him) between his arms.
"S-sto-stop!" Tsuna screamed as the tears flowed for the second time that night. Why was this happening again? "Stop it!" he choked back a sob and pushed his arms against the other's chest in a vain attempt to push Reborn away. The hitman nearly laughed when he realized he was hurting the other again. It felt good, really good actually and he didn't want it to stop.
"Why should I?" he ceased his attack on the other's neck and stared at those tear-stained eyes he had grown so attached to. Reborn bent down and kissed the other's lips, "You of all people should know why I'm doing this." He mumbled against those beautiful (and slightly parted) lips before capturing them in another hot kiss.
"Bi-Bianchi will-"
"She'll never know." He answered for him, he couldn't help himself, he wanted to hear the other scream his name loudly. And tonight, he wasn't going to hold back.
In a matter of seconds, Reborn had all of their clothes removed and he finds himself almost all the way inside the other when he stops and thinks about the other's feelings. How is the brunette feeling about this? Does he still hurt inside? But Tsuna doesn't even think. He just feels. The pain that's welling up inside of him, the pain that's shooting up his rear end, the pain that is in his throat from his restraint of bawling, and the pain in his chest, from the rejection he had received so many years ago that keeps resurfacing.
Was this how it felt to be in hell? His body had been sinned and he was lying to himself, he could never hate the other, he hated himself. He hated his stupid naive mind for believing that one day his feelings would be returned and that their occasional sessions weren't just an act of lust from the other end. But he knew that even if these foolish feelings were returned, it would be unfair to Bianchi. Reborn was married to her after all and he didn't want to ruin her marriage because of him.
Those thoughts of Bianchi stayed fresh in his mind as he felt the other thrust in and out him, occasionally bending down to kiss his shoulder. He felt ashamed of himself. He felt dirtied, sinned, broken. There was no room for him in this world anymore, Tsuna thinks to himself as he grips the bedding and shuts his eyes, and it wasn't like he really wanted to stay alive.
"Look at you, Tsuna. You always get so turned on when I touch you here." Reborn whispered as he reached down and grabbed a hold of the younger one's arousal and started pumping it. The brunette let out a sharp gasp before opening his eyes and releasing a shaky cry,
"Pl-please stop." Tears continued to fall as he begged, "Let's stop here. Please." His voice sounded like it was about to break, "I feel... I feel..." he choked back as many sobs as he could and the tears fell like a waterfall. "So dirty..." he whispered the last part to himself. He was a whore, a man whore. A toy that Reborn played around with until it broke and then threw away until he needed it for further use.
"Oh look at this, you already reached your limit." His deep, velvety voice cut through his train of thoughts as he felt Reborn lean his forehead against his shoulder blade and sigh. The pain was gone and was replaced with that same cold, empty feeling he always had whenever the hitman was done with him. But the pain in his heart remained.
It always did, even after months and months of not seeing the other, it was still there. What had he been thinking for the past years? That Reborn would just magically turn gay for him and demand a divorce with Bianchi just to be with him? He almost let out a bittersweet laugh as these thoughts plagued his mind. No, that would never happen, he was only setting himself up for heartbreak (not that he wasn't already) and he was well aware of it.
"I hate you so much." Tsuna can hear himself whispering those words but he doesn't know who he's talking to anymore. In that blissful moment he hears Reborn grunt and answer him,
"I know you do." The tears are still present on that pale face and his breathing is laboured. He hates himself for being a home-wrecking whore.
They don't make contact in any kind of way at all. Tsuna continues his duties as a boss and Reborn as his loyal subordinate. And though they pass each other in the hallway, they don't talk to each other. Each having a different reason of doing so, Reborn was just too prideful to look at his old toy and Tsuna was doing it out of fear and guilt. Things were fine like that, they both agree with the other's behaviour and they don't seem to care at all, until a week after Bianchi's leave.
A party was being thrown for Bianchi's homecoming and was going to be held in some kind of bar, not that Tsuna was going or anything. No, his reason was that he 'didn't feel well' and he really didn't. He felt twisted and dirty. But who could blame him? He had been taken advantage of by her husband countless times and he never told her about it. And that was how he ended up staying back in his room after having Gokudera and Yamamoto check up on him countless times before departing. Tsuna sighed contently once they had disappeared behind the door, he was safe now. With Bianchi home, how could Reborn possibly come into his room at night and blindly have sex with him? Tsuna lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, he needed to be left alone like this more often, it helped him think. What was becoming of him now that he had come to that realization of not being able to have his feelings returned? Would he go crazy? Would he end up committing suicide because of it? He shook his head to get rid of such preposterous thoughts. Maybe he shouldn't be left alone like this. But all he knew was that he needed a bath to calm his nerves.
Tsuna grabbed a towel, a pair of boxers, and a bath robe on his way to the washroom. He really saw no point in walking around fully clothed if he was the only one in the base that housed all of the guardians and subordinates so undergarments would do just fine. Once inside, he placed his clothes on the counter and turned both faucets on until it was hot enough for him. After that he added a little bit of bubble bath in and stirred the water with his hand.
He hadn't had a bubble bath in forever and he missed having them. It brung back memories of his bittersweet childhood, of the life he had been living until he turned 14 and met a baby hitman. A sad expression made its way onto his delicate features as he thought of the infant again. Things would have been so well between them if he hadn't turned back to his regular form. But right now he couldn't care less, his bathtub was starting to overflow and he wanted to relax.
And so, he stripped down to nothing and stepped inside, one step at a time. A heavy breath escaped his lips as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back; baths were great, weren't they? They were made for the sole purpose of calming people who just wanted to disappear off the face of the earth; they were made for people like him. He found himself sniffling as his vision became blurred. Was he crying? But what for? "Fuck." He mumbled to himself as he wiped his tears away.
He wasn't supposed to be crying, he was supposed to be relaxing and this was by far anything like a sedative bath. Tsuna leaned against the edge of the tub and ran a hand through his slightly wet hair. Why of all times was he thinking of his childhood? The past was the past; he needed to let it go.
"Yeah." He said to himself after a long while of silence, "I need to forget about the past." But how could he? His mind was already stuck in the past, with those happy people and carefree smiles and his body remained in the present. Simple as that. He was now a living corpse not knowing what the hell he was doing and was still infatuated with the strongest hitman in the world. Just wonderful.
An hour later, Tsuna emerged from the bathroom, a towel draped around his shoulders as he used one end to dry his hair. The brunette sat down on the bed and threw the towel off to one side. Maybe he should get some sleep and then wake up when his guardians returned. But he still had a crap load of paper work to do before he could even think about getting a wink of sleep.
"Arrrgh." He scratched his hair in a frustrated manner and plopped backwards onto the soft mattress. He'll sleep, he concluded as he buried his face into the pillow, he'll sleep and then deal with the paper lying on the desk after he does so. The door creaks open but goes unnoticed by the tenth generation mafia boss as he quietly doses off.
Tsuna wakes up to the sound of a gun clicking and tenses. Was there an enemy near? 'How foolish' he thought to himself as he made a move to get up, if there actually was an enemy around and if they started to attack him, then he could just pop some pills and go into his hyper dying will mode. "Where do you think you're going, Tsuna?" it was that voice. Tsuna recognized that husky voice so well and almost let out a cry of anger when his mind fully registered who it was.
"What are you doing here?" The voice didn't answer his question but instead, he heard footsteps sounding from behind him and felt the bed dip. He was close, "Reborn, you shouldn't be here." The brunette said as he looked down at his fingers.
"I can be here if I want to." The other simply stated as he wrapped an arm around Tsuna's small waist and pulled him down onto his back so that he was facing the ceiling. The boss closed his eyes, he didn't want to make the mistake of looking into those heartless eyes and cry about it after. He was going to remain like this.
Something cold was pressed to his forehead and before Tsuna could fully comprehend what was happening, a pair of lips were forced onto his own in a very unpleasant kiss. His eyes snapped open and he found himself being held down by one hand and the other was holding something against his forehead. He broke away from Reborn and panted out a response,
"No you can't! It's broad daylight! You can't be in here if I don't want you to be, now get out!" he screamed as he reached for a pillow and flung it at him. The next few moments seemed to blur together for Tsuna. There was a sound of a gunshot and then the pillow he had thrown was now lying motionlessly on the floor. Something cut his cheek and in another flash, Reborn had grabbed a hold of his arm and forced him back down onto the bed. Another click came from the gun and Tsuna realized that it directed towards him. Fear and panic overtook his body as he thought of the possibility of him getting shot again. Reborn smirked,
"Well I'm in your room right now, aren't I?" he bent down and trailed butterfly kisses down the other's neck, "Besides, I think you should know something." The hitman buried his head in between his neck and clavicle. Tsuna struggled against the weight of Reborn's body on top of his, it was getting hard to breathe.
"I don't want to know anything from you." The brunette spat, maybe this was the best way to go, make him believe that you despise him with every fibre of your body. Another kiss was planted on his neck,
"You know, I think you've been a really good boy these years and just looking at you maturing over the years is quite amazing." He pressed the gun against the other's forehead again. "And it's a shame that you never got to experience your first time with a girl." He mocked as he slid the handgun down the side of Tsuna's face,
"What are you trying to say?" the brunette questioned, voice barely above a whisper. Reborn ignored him and continued,
"You could have been a normal teenager if not for me, right?" he smirked when he heard the other gasp; this was more fun than he had expected, "But I also would have been a regular hitman if it weren't for you. So I think we're even." He frowned a little bit, not that Tsuna would ever notice it but he did, and started to lick and suck the slender neck once again.
"We're not even... at all." He heard the other choke out and in a desperate attempt to keep the other quiet, Reborn moved from his neck to his lips.
"We will be soon." He muttered to Tsuna in between delicate kisses. The gun had made its way to the other's neck as they were swept up in the little kissing session. He broke apart from the boss first and smirked, "You don't know how that face makes me feel inside, Tsuna." He confessed, "Sometimes I stop and realize that I've been thinking about your beautiful cries all day and I find myself not being able to hold back."
"Stop lying." Tsuna said in a quivering voice and Reborn sat up,
"How would you know whether I'm lying or not? Those eyes drive me to the brink of insanity, do you know that? I just don't know what to do with you anymore." The gun was now pointing right at him as the black haired man whispered out his confession,
"You're always on my mind and I hate it. You're always so annoying whenever you try to act like a tough guy because we both know that you're not." He stayed quiet for a little while before sighing, "You're a whore that never knows when to stop. And I've... grown so attached... to you."
Reborn ended quietly as his expression changed back into the cruel, stoic face just like before. Tsuna's eyes widened in shock. This was what he had been waiting for all these years, the truth behind Reborn's cold words every time they had sex. And the truth was that he had only been in lust with Tsuna's body and not anywhere near in love with the brunette himself.
"So that's how it is, huh?" he asked quietly, thinking that if he was quiet enough, his real thoughts wouldn't be heard, "You've grown attached to me... not like how I am with you." He said, just to make sure that he hadn't heard wrong. Reborn nodded and pressed the gun to his forehead for the third time,
"Now that you know, you can peacefully depart from this world." He stated and Tsuna nodded. He grabbed the other's hand and pulled it down to his chest, where his heart was,
"Shoot me here. Make this pain go away first. It's been hurting for the longest time." A bittersweet smile found its way onto the brunette's face and auburn eyes stared sadly, calmly into Reborn's obsidian ones, "I love you." He whispered and he heard the other pull the trigger.
To be honest, it didn't hurt at all, when he died that is. Tsuna felt a small pain in his hand but there was nothing else.
His eyes fluttered open and for a moment, all he could see was white. The brunette continuously rubbed at his eyes until he heard a voice softly calling his name and everything started becoming clearer and clearer, "Una! Tsuna! Are you okay?" funny how that voice was so familiar. It sounded like his rain guardian, in fact, he was sure that the velvet voice belonged to his best friend.
"Takeshi?" Tsuna asked his voice came out hoarse from lack of use. The samurai smiled when the brunette was fully conscious, he was worried when Reborn came to him and told him to take care of Tsuna for he had been attacked while sleeping.
Thin arms wrapped around his neck and Yamamoto felt his shirt getting wet, "I'm not dead yet...." he choked out, "How come..?" he asked and the other really didn't know how to answer,
"Tsuna? What happened?" The spiky haired adult asked as calmly as he could. And so he spoke. Tsuna mentioned everything that had happened between him and Reborn starting 6 years ago. Yamamoto rubbed the other's back in large circles and listened to the heartbreaking story of the naive teen. After he finished, the brunette was still crying,
"Takeshi, I want to see him, where is he? Where's Reborn?" he drawled out between his sobs. Yamamoto pursed his lips,
"He said he was going to Paris for the time being... but Tsuna, why are you still looking for him after what he's done to you?" he tried to reason with the other but only received a few more sobs. The brunette was clinging desperately onto him for dear life as he asked for the address and everything he needed to see the other again,
"I want to see him. I love him, Takeshi. I know, I know, it's really foolish of me. But he said.... he said that he was attached to me. I want to see him!" he screamed over and over again until Yamamoto had finally agreed to go with him to the airport and even to Paris. Tsuna grabbed a fistful of his hair and smiled to himself, he needed to know.
He needed to see for himself if Reborn really was attached to him or not. If he was, then why didn't he kill him? If it was just attachment, why didn't he end his life? Tsuna wanted to know at least that much. But most of all he wanted to see his sun. The one that brightened up his day when he was fifteen. He wanted to see Reborn.
Yamamoto thought it was quite aggravating that no matter how hurt Tsuna was, he still stood by his companions. And though Reborn didn't feel quite like a companion, Tsuna stood by him all these years. So did he actually mean it when he said that he loved the strongest hitman known to mankind?
Probably, but Yamamoto hated the thought of the brunette being rejected and then doing something suicidal. It was unnerving and he didn't want that to happen at all. But Tsuna was a mess right now, his eyes were bloodshot, his voice was strained, and his hands wouldn't stop shaking.
Maybe he did need a sun to stay by his side. And the best way was to have Reborn talk with him. That was all Tsuna needed.
So yeah, that ends my first chapter~ hahah, hope you review...? ^^; and again, if none of that made sense to you then u shud go back and read my other story called Broken cuz this is the sequel to that ^^;