If I could see, I guess I'd be staring at asphalt right now. It must be new too, because I can smell the tar in the air mixed with the half-digested food I just managed to get out of my system. Man, this is disgusting. When I stand back up, I get another dose of the stench that got me here to begin with. Manure. Just another reminder that I'm not cut out for country living.
"You okay, buddy?" Foggy walks up to me and I can feel him just behind me.
"Yeah, much better." I nod, carefully since I fear the nausea coming back at the slightest movement, and turn around and walk back to the car where the others are waiting. There's Danny, a guy I know from the debate team, and his friend Noel who also happens to be one of Foggy's fraternity brothers. I don't remember whose idea it was to take this little trip, but I'm starting to get homesick already.
"You think it might be a virus or something?" Danny turns around in the front seat as I close the back door behind me. He almost sounds a little hopeful. He's pre-med so I guess that might have something to do with it, though it's not as if he could cure me if it was.
"No, it's just motion sickness. That and this stench... I don't know how you guys stand it." I know they can't smell it the way I can, but it's strong enough that I know I can't be the only one to have noticed. It's gotta be a pig farm or something.
"Nothing wrong with some nice, clean country air," Noel says jokingly and draws in a deep breath. Then, in a more serious tone, "You're not used to this, are you?"
"No." I lean my head back and feel it rock gently to the side when Foggy gets the engine going and gets us back on the road.
"You'll be fine," Danny says in his most precocious doctor voice, "just remember to keep your eyes on the..." he trails off as he catches himself.
"Eyes on the road? I'll try my best." I smile and Noel nearly chokes on his Coke.
"I can just tell you're going to be a great doctor, Danny" he says in between the coughs. "That was real smooth."
Foggy is laughing too, but Danny can take it. "Okay, never mind me. I obviously have no idea what I'm talking about."
"No, I'm sure it's great advice in theory. Don't feel bad." I give him a thumbs up. "Hey, I blame Foggy's driving."
"Yeah, you would," Foggy snorts from the driver's seat. We've known each other for three years now and I still love teasing him every chance I get. And he loves to do it back. "How about if you drive the rest of the way?"
"Alright, let's do a quick poll. All those in favor of letting the blind guy drive, raise your hands." I give the guys a couple of seconds, then add "Ah, sorry Fog. You were so close."
Noel lets out an amused sigh. "Actually, that's got to be a pretty sweet deal not having to deal with that designated driver crap. But I totally wanna see you swimming in Bavarian beer tonight, dude. No fucking excuses."
"So I take it everything about this place is Bavarian, huh?" Once again I ask myself why the hell we decided to go on this trip.
"Well," Danny starts, back in full analytical mode, "technically I guess it's based on the idea of Bavaria, as perceived by a group of townspeople with an eighth-grade education and no sense of taste."
"This is fine culture, Danny," Noel retorts, "you're just too much of a snob to appreciate it."
"Just imagine how much we're going to enjoy New York once we get back, "Foggy says. "But do they really have German beer at this thing or is it just Budweiser anyway?"
"Aw guys... It's gonna be great! You're killing me with the skepticism here. Right, Matt?" I don't know why Noel is turning to me for support.
"I'm trying to keep an open mind, but my expectations low."
"You read that on a fortune cookie or something?" Foggy always likes to call me on my bullshit.
"No, I'm just that wise. For some people, it actually comes naturally. You wouldn't understand."
"Ouch!" Noel laughs. "You guys are like a mean old married couple or something."
"See what I have to put up with?" Foggy says with feigned indignation and I sense him look over to the side.
Danny laughs and the conversation dies off for a while. We've been on the road for two and a half hours and we know each other well enough to know how to co-exist quietly.
Noel reaches for the Walkman in his backpack and before long he's listening to something that sounds like gangsta rap. This time, I don't mind the diversion. I hate long drives out on the open roads. In the city, I always know where I am. I recognize the sounds in many places and when I don't, I can always hear the gap in between the buildings as we pass. Out here, it's like being in space or something. I decide to go with that feeling and pretend I'm in a spaceship. My mind wanders and Foggy turns into Captain Kirk. I feel a smile forming when I realize that space smells like a pig sty. Still.
"What's with you, Murdock?" Noel takes out his headphones and I hear the sound of the music coming from his lap instead of his head.
"Huh?"
"You just had a weird look on your face."
"I was just thinking. It was nothing." Though I suddenly think of something that might take the edge off the stench. "Hey, you guys mind if we make a stop at a gas station or something?"
"Are you kidding? I could kill for some pork rinds just about now," Danny answers from the front seat.
"Wait a second here, let's back up a bit. You frown on an a nice genuine almost Bavarian Oktoberfest, but you eat pork rinds?" Noel's surprise is genuine too. "And let's not forget about all that artery clogging."
"Give me a break, I've got needs alright?" Danny turns to me again. "I'll go with you, okay?"
"There's an Exxon station a mile up the road," Foggy says, "I need to fill up the tank anyway."
I feel relieved when we pull up at the station. Outside, the gas fumes are everywhere, but I don't mind that smell as much. The wind is refreshingly cool, and the building next to us makes me feel connected to something. No more of that spacey blind feeling of endless open terrain.
"Here, Matt," Danny touches my hand and I grasp his arm just above the elbow. We move over to the entrance, and I let go of him when we get inside. The fake bell above the door makes a tired sound. There's someone behind the counter, reading from the sound of it, but our arrival doesn't seem to excite him. I take a second to get myself oriented and find the refrigerators in the back humming loudly and the ice machine doing its thing behind the register. The smells are a little harder to separate, layered one on top of so many others, but I still get a decent idea of the place.
"Okay, I'm getting a drink, what do you want?" Danny makes a beeline for the back portion of the store and I follow.
"I'll just have a big bottle of water and some mints." While he gets our drinks from the refrigerator - his is a metal can of something - I pass behind him and walk back up the snack isle. I can't help thinking about how strange it is that something like a highway gas station can be interesting, but with the grueling 'sameness' I've had to contend with for the last few hours, this place is making my nose do somersaults.
My cane finds a small bag of snacks on the floor that I honestly wouldn't have noticed otherwise. I don't usually direct my focus toward much of anything below the knees when I'm using it since I don't have to. I bend over to pick it up and Danny spots me. "Cheetos? I thought you were a health nut? Unlike me, apparently." He grabs a bag of what I assume are pork rinds and shakes it so I can hear it.
"I just found this on the floor." I put mine back on the shelf.
"Seriously though, how often do you work out?" He touches my hand again so I will follow his lead and we walk over to the cash register. "Oh, and what kind of mints did you want?" He must have just spotted them, I can smell the menthol by the counter.
"I'll just get some Altoids," Danny gets a small tin from somewhere on his left and puts it next to my bottle while the clerk starts to ring up his things. "I go to the gym about five times a week," I say in reply to his earlier question.
"Geez, you're amazing, you know that?" I can sense him shake his head next to me. He reaches for his wallet and I get ready to do the same, pulling a five-dollar bill from my pocket.
"I don't know, I'm just addicted to it. Besides, I've gotta look good for the ladies, right?" I smile at him while he gathers up our things and the clerk mutters something that not even I can make out. He gives me the change and we're good to go.
"Right. Didn't you use to date that Greek chick?" Danny and I were on the debate team together even back then, but we weren't friends at the time.
"Elektra, yeah. That was freshman year, though. So it's been a while." He holds the door open for me and we're back outside.
"Whatever happened to her?"
"Her dad died, remember?" I'm surprised he doesn't since lethal hostage situations don't happen that often, especially not on a university campus.
"Wait.. What, that was her dad? That diplomat?"
"Yeah, that was him. She split after that; I have no idea what she's doing now. Not sure I care to know either." It's been a year and a half since she just disappeared, and it's only recently that I've gotten to the point where I can tell someone I don't care anymore and actually mean it.
"That's rough. Man, she was gorgeous."
"Yeah, she was really something," I admit.
"God, sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Danny sounds embarrassed.
"It's okay, she's not my girlfriend anymore."
"Well, we're going to have to get you a new one." We're back at the car now, so he decides to make his plans public. "Isn't that right guys?"
"What's that?" Foggy looks up.
"We need to find a girl for Matt."
"Not to be rude here, but I think I need a girlfriend more than he does," Foggy says.
"Oh, there's going to be tons of girls where we're going," Noel says, sounding dead serious.
"You guys, I do not need a girlfriend." I laugh at them and get back in the car.
"But you're doing pretty well with the ladies, aren't you?" Noel comes awfully close to sounding like a perverted shrink. "Who's that blonde you're hanging around with?"
"You mean Sheila?" She's my newest reader and I've only had her for less than two months. It's obvious that she's attractive though I didn't know she was a blonde.
"Yeah, what's up with that?" Noel is now sounding more like a pervert and less like a shrink.
"She reads for me. For which I pay her money, okay? That's what's up with that."
"Ah, so you have to pay for it. Hey, we're all cool here, no one is judging you." Noel does crack me up, I have to admit.
"I think I'd have to pay her a lot more for that," I joke back. "The whole 'reading for the blind' gig isn't as lucrative as it used to be."
"So there's no touching involved at all then?"
"Nope." I give him a 'sorry, pal' sort of look and chew down on a mint. It's working pretty well.
"So, is it true what they say about blind sex?" Danny asks. "And I'm speaking strictly as a future doctor here."
"And what kind of patients were you going to treat again?"
"Okay fine, I was just curious."
"Well, I've never had sex with the lights on, so to speak, so I can't tell you."
"Hm, good point."
"Here's an idea. Next time you've got some action lined up, kill the lights and put the covers over your head, then you tell me, okay?"
"Oh, but he's going to have to find a girl who'd be up for that first," Noel says.
"Oh, shut up!" Danny tosses a pork rind at his friend in the back seat.
Foggy laughs. "Who's the old married couple again?"
ooOoo
We approach civilization, and I get my hopes up. Big mistake. The car slows down on a very uneven surface and I smell mud and grass. Lots of it. We get out and I can hear a big crowd of people nearby, and sense the cars lined up next to ours. I guess we're just outside of town on a temporary parking lot and that this is some kind of fair grounds. It gets worse as I realize that the music I'm hearing sounds like polka or something. This could be hell. Or, on a more positive note, it could be a very interesting weekend.
"Okay, Foggy. Why am I standing in mud?"
"Oh, right. We're in a field."
"You don't say." I turn to him, eyebrow cocked. Then I realize I'm being sort of a jerk. What's the worst that could happen? I get my worn out jeans dirty? "Sorry, I'm sure this will be great."
"You got that right!" Noel comes up from behind and plants his hand firmly on my shoulder. I shrink away and laugh at him.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"Oh, Danny would just love that. He thinks he knows all the moves just 'cause he watches ER."
"I do not," Danny responds, "I know them because I actually took CPR classes in high school."
"You know, I suddenly feel much safer," Foggy says.
"Why, you planning on choking on a sausage or something?" I joke back.
"Something like that," Foggy says, sounding like he's really planning on it as a worst case scenario exit strategy.
The guys get all of our bags out of the car, and Noel hands me my backpack. I don't bother unfolding the cane and Foggy takes the hint before I even hold my hand out. There's just too much mud everywhere so I'm hitching a ride with him. Before long, we're headed toward the massive crowd. "So Foggy, how's the view?" I ask jokingly.
"Well, it looks like a big fair, with little tents for food and beer and stuff. On the left, there's a bigger tent with a stage on it, that's where the music is. In the middle there are a bunch of those picnic tables with benches attached. And, oh... this is interesting," he trails off and lets out a chuckle, "I see at least two women with their boobs pushed up to their necks in one of those cute outfits. And, damn, it's not pretty."
"Why not?" I laugh, mostly at the tone of his voice. "I thought that was a good thing."
"Because," Danny says, "I suspect they would hang to their knees without all the extra, umm, support."
"Yeah, they must be eighty years old or something." Noel laughs. "Shit, where are all the babes?"
"I'm sure they're over in the tent dancing or something." I can just imagine Danny giving Noel one of those looks that seems to ask what he's gotten us into.
"Right, because hot twenty-year-old girls just love accordions." Foggy says, turning just a little as he's walking to face the guys behind us. "Hey, at least the food looks good."
It smells good too. We're closing in on the lines of smaller tents serving different types of food. There's beer - easy to pick up on - various sausages, and what I could swear is sauerkraut or something similar. There's dessert too, apple pie it smells like, but I don't think it is. I haven't had anything except breath mints since the brunch we had back in New York City and I didn't get to keep that down for very long.
"I'm starving," Foggy says and the other guys both make sounds of agreement.
"What smells like... ginger?" One of the sausages is making my stomach growl, and I want to know what it is.
"You've got a fine nose there, son," an older man booms at me from the other side of the counter we're standing at. "That would be my weisswurst." I'm pretty sure he's not saying it right, whatever it is, but he does sound awfully proud of it.
He cuts a piece of something and stretches out in my direction. It smells even better up close. Foggy does a little intervention and grabs it. "Here, it's on a toothpick."
"That's pretty weird-looking," Noel says as I take the sample from Foggy's hand. "It's all white."
"Man, this is good." It's really an interesting flavor, nothing like the hot dogs they used to sell from the stands on the streets I grew up on. I think I'm making the vendor's day with my appreciation of his offerings, because his heart is beating faster.
Foggy leans in. "They've got some kind of whole platter deal with your choice of sausage, if you want to get some of that."
"Are you guys getting something here too?" It seems like it, because I hear Danny and Noel already talking about finding a place to sit.
"Yeah, this looks good," Noel says and I can tell he's checking out the selection. Danny is still nervously looking around at the area behind us.
"Oh, I see an empty table." He turns around to look at me. "Matt, how about if we take you over there and you can hold the table while we get some beer?"
"Yeah, that's okay." I don't really like being sidelined like that, but I get that we need to lay claim to that empty table before someone else does, and it makes sense to have me do it.
Meanwhile, Foggy has put in our orders. "Six bucks, Matt." I dig a couple of bills out of my pocket and Foggy takes them and exchange the money for a plate full of things that I will at least enjoy figuring out.
Foggy gets his plate too and we go over to a table a couple of hundred feet away, moving through a constantly shifting mass of people. He shows me the seat and gets ready to take off. "Sorry about this, we'll be back real soon. What kind of beer do you want? It's on me."
I shrug and smile back at him. We've been friends so long, it's like he can read my mind sometimes. "Don't worry about it, I don't mind." On a purely intellectual level, I really mean that. But it stings not getting to go with the others to get drinks. "About the beer, surprise me, okay?"
"Sure," Foggy nods. "Sit tight, I'll be right back."
He walks off and his sounds and shape melt into the background, becoming just another wave in this big river I always have all around me. I can still find him if I want to, even over the constant roar, but I'm content to let him go for now.
For the next minute, I do nothing except try to massage the knot out of my neck that seems to have developed during the drive, while trying to figure out what else is in that sausage. I swear I detect cardamon too, and something else. I'm usually good at this, but a dish I've never eaten before is a fun challenge.
Suddenly, I get the distinct feeling that I'm being stared at. Someone very small has been standing in the same spot a little too long and I focus in the direction of her form which begins to take shape against the background. It's a girl, I get that from the scent more than anything else, and I'm guessing she might be around five.
She must have registered me noticing her, because the next thing that happens is that she starts sobbing. Not quite the reaction I was expecting, and I'm not sure what to do exactly. "Hey, are you okay?"
The only answer I get is even more tears. I suspect it's even the relief that someone's paying attention to her that's really bringing on the full waterworks. Damn, I don't know what to do and no one else seems to come to the rescue. "I can't find my mommy!" she squeezes out in between the sobs.
"Come here," I say. "She'll find you, okay?" She takes a couple of steps in my direction. I've always had kid appeal. Ever since I was just a kid myself, small children and dogs always found me approachable for some reason I can't figure out.
"Mommy says not talk to strangers," she tells me, as if I were the one who approached her rather than the other way around. She's still sobbing, but seems to be coming to her senses. I don't know what to do, but talking seems to help. Surely, the mother must be around here somewhere among the hundreds of people.
"Yeah, I guess I'm a stranger, huh?" She nods, but at least there are no more tears. Thank God for small favors. "What's your name?" She doesn't say anything, and I get the distinct feeling that she's analyzing whether or not I'm trustworthy. "My name is Matt. How old are you?"
She holds her hand up the way kids often do to show their age. Her fingers are too small for me to really make out, but her palm is spread and the thumb is tucked in. "You're four?" She nods in response. She's too young to understand the implication of my dark glasses and the folded up white cane on the table behind me. She doesn't know that I can't really see her, and there's no need to tell her.
"I'm this many years old," I say and open and close my hands twice, which makes her giggle. I'm actually twenty-one, but that's close enough. I suddenly get an idea. "You know, if you could tell me your name, I'm sure I could find your mom. It's like a magic trick I know."
She gasps at the mention of the word and her heart starts to race. "You know magic?"
"Sure," I say and try to sound really confident. "Are you going to tell me your name?"
"Wachel." I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be Rachel. She's actually a pretty cute kid. Not that I know what she looks like, but she's charming I suppose. I smile reassuringly and start to listen for her name. It's only a few seconds before I hear it called by someone in the crowd. The voice is agitated. As long as I know what to listen for, it's a piece of cake to sift through the sounds.
"You know what? I think I found your mom. Look over there." I get up and pick her up and put her on the picnic table facing the direction of the voice. "Do you see her?"
"Yeah!" She starts to jump up and down and I resist the urge to pull her down before she falls and breaks her neck or something. "Mommy!"
I keep my focus on her mother and identify the very instant she finds her kid and starts heading in our direction. I also notice my friends coming back.
"Well, well, well," Danny starts, sounding like he just caught me with the hand in the cookie jar, "I know I said we'd find you a girl, but don't you think she's a little young?" Foggy and Noel laugh.
"Kid got separated from her mom, okay?"
"Matt Murdock, star student and everyday hero," Noel says and gives me a pat on the back.
"Don't forget I'm inspirational too," I joke back while Rachel literally jumps into the arms of a woman rushing toward us.
"Oh, thank God," she says with her arms around the kid and I start to feel pretty good about my random act of kindness.
Rachel turns back and points up at me. "He knew where you were, Mommy. He knows magic."
Rachel's mom stands up and extends a hand I have to pretend not to notice and I wait until Foggy pokes me in the side to return the gesture. "I didn't realize you were..." She sounds puzzled and I notice her getting a little nervous. I hate it when people get nervous around me.
"That's okay, m'am, we hadn't noticed it either," Foggy says to break the mood, and she's breathing a little easier.
"Well, thank you for looking after her." She turns to Rachel. "You had me scared out of my mind. You stay close to me, okay? No walking away."
"Yeah, listen to your mom," I say, now speaking as someone with authority. "She's a sweet kid."
"Yeah..." Rachel's mom sounds a little dreamy and I can hear the smile in her voice. "Again, thank you very much. Say good bye, Rachel" They start to walk away and Rachel waves to me. I smile and wave back, knowing that doing so won't necessarily be suspicious.
"That's it," Danny says. "Put away the saint and let out the devil. We're all getting wasted right now."
"Okay, where's my beer?" Foggy puts a cold glass in my outstretched hand and I down about half of it. It tastes really good. I won't mind letting my guard down a little tonight, not around these guys.
"Okay, let's dig in." Foggy starts working away at his food, and the others follow suit. My own stomach is growling louder than ever.
ooOoo
It's three beers later, two for Foggy since he's driving us to the campsite later, and I'm in a pretty good mood. We've moved over to the big tent were only the hardcore bavarophiles are actually dancing. It turns out that the category in question only seems to include people over fifty. I wouldn't even know how to dance to this kind of music.
For a moment, my memories take me back to the school dances we used to have in late elementary school with all the parents watching and half the girls with their hair still in pig tails. I wasn't a very good dancer at the time, but then again, none of us were. It was all about stepping side to side to the music and trying to look anywhere but right at the girl you were dancing with. Fortunately, I've improved since, but I've never tried anything too technical. I guess clubbing in New York City in places so loud it feels like my brain is about to cook still just boils down to moving to a beat.
We're all standing with our backs against the wall taking in the scene in front of us, and I make sure to keep the cane clearly visible. There are times when I really do love the thing. Now it's virtually guaranteeing that no one will ask me to dance. As it turns out, Foggy is not so lucky. He's still chewing on yet another sausage he picked up on the way over when a large woman at least three decades older than us walks over, her steps steady and determined.
"Hi there precious! I can just tell you could learn this in no time!" She sounds like one of those bubbly people who never lets something as minor as outright hostility get in their way.
"Eh, what?" Foggy actually chokes on a piece of his sausage and starts coughing. His heart is beating loud through his chest.
"There you go," she says and pries the sausage out of his hand and hands it to one of the guys and drags Foggy out on the dance floor.
"Oh, this is fucking priceless," Noel says and Danny is laughing so hard I think he's about to cry.
"How old was she?" My guess is around fifty.
"I don't know, man. I'd say sixty-five... ish," Noel has to do the talking since Danny can't get a word out and is now close to actually hyperventilating.
I guess all the dancing must have kept her heart in good shape, because she sounded younger to me. Maybe it's all the fresh air. While Danny is bending over in the background, Noel suddenly reminds himself to do a little running commentary and goes into full sports commentator mode.
"Okay, in the left corner we have our large-breasted geriatric contender facing innocent challenger and college student Foggy Nelson. Ouch, she starts out strong with a boob to the chest. That's cold..." Noel pauses for a few seconds as the music really starts to get going. "Okay, here comes the embrace, and there she nails him. Now, there's a spin, and is that...? Yes, there's some kind of stomping movement going on. Foggy 'Two Left Feet' Nelson tries desperately to keep up... Oh, wait, did he? Yeah, he stepped on her foot. She's got him totally off balance."
Danny is standing back up again, still panting. "Hell, I might actually have to do some of that CPR when she's done with him. His face is deep red. I think the boobs might have deprived him of oxygen." He lets out another chuckle and takes a deep breath. "Oh, yeah, we've got definite brain damage here. That's it boys, we've lost him. I mean, limbs moving like that, it's just not healthy."
I'm smiling so wide it actually makes my face hurt. I can follow the movements okay by focusing on their location, but I can only imagine the look of panic in Foggy's face, and I relax and let the images go when I decide I like Noel's and Danny's versions better.
"Okay, let's all make a promise right now," Danny says. "We are never going to let him forget about this. This alone makes the drive worth it. I wanna tell you right Noel: Now, I know I was a skeptic and all, but this is gold, man. You are a genius, my friend."
"You sure Foggy's going to feel the same way?" I ask, though I have to admit that I'm enjoying my best friend's obvious embarrassment as much as they are. As early as later tonight, he going to think it's a riot too.
"Ah, who cares?" Noel responds and turns to Danny. "But, thank you for the love bro', I'm really feeling it. All this goddamn respect is making me tear up right here."
I laugh, and for a moment I can sort of feel them look at me. I know they like to make me laugh, and that part of it has to do with making me feel included, though I'm not sure they've ever actually thought of it that way. Either way, I'm not exactly a tough nut to crack in that department.
"I know Foggy's not a great dancer," I say to break the relative silence of the last few seconds. "You think we should go rescue him?"
"What would we do exactly? I think we'd have to surgically extract his head from her cleavage," Danny says while Noel, who had been careless enough to take another sip of beer from his oversize plastic cup, spits half of it out while choking on what's left.
"Aw, geez. He's looking over here. That is not a happy camper," Noel says while the music begins to die down. "I think he's ready to make a run for it."
We all wait with bated breaths as Foggy manages to cut loose and return to the group. The difference is subtle, but I can feel the intense heat of his face. "God must really hate me," he says through gritted teeth.
"I thought you were an agnostic," Noel says casually and acts like we haven't spent the last two minutes enjoying his misery.
"No, I changed my mind. I now know there's a god, and that he hates me. Things like this don't just happen by chance, there's some weird design behind it, I just know it."
I laugh and feel Foggy staring me down until he starts laughing too. He never can stay mad around me. "Well, it looks like you survived anyway. You got a second chance at life. What are you going to do with it?"
"I don't know. I think I need beer, lots of beer." Foggy lets out a deep sigh and looks around. "You guys ready to head pitch the tent and get the fire going?"
"You kidding me?" Noel says. "You think I'm going to wait around for that to happen to me too. No way, we're so out of here."
ooOoo
"You're not doing it right." I'm sitting on an ice cold rock surface while my friends scramble to get the tent set up.
"With all due respect, Murdock, but how would you know?" Danny stands up and I can actually hear his vertebrae pop back into alignment. He's been bent over for a good ten minutes.
"I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to take half an hour to pitch a tent." I'm being sort of a jerk I guess, but I'm bored with nothing to do and I desperately want us to get the fire started. The sun set at least a couple of hours ago and it's getting colder.
"You know, this would be so much easier if we weren't drunk," Noel says laughing, not the least bit bothered by the situation.
"Okay, forget I said anything," I mumble to myself. I hear Foggy swearing in the background.
"Aha!" The swearing gives way to the sounds of triumph and the big mass of fabric shifts. While the others applaud, I get back up to keep my ass from freezing. I suddenly feel my head spin from the alcohol, and as I try to steady myself, my heel catches on a tree root and I tip over backwards, landing ass first on the ground behind me.
"Whoa, you okay?" Noel doesn't actually sound all that concerned and both Danny and Foggy start laughing. I do too.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Ow." I get back up, more carefully this time, and rub my bruised tail bone. "Man, I'm so pathetic when I'm drunk." I am. I guess alcohol sort of takes the edge off for most people, but I really need my edge. Especially out in the woods. It wasn't until the first time I went camping with Foggy and his dad that I realized how much the straight hard concrete surfaces of the city give structure to everything. The streets and buildings are easy to sense and the sounds bounce around in predictable patterns.
"That looked pretty funny." Danny laughs again. "Sorry, man."
"That's okay, I can take it." I put on my best smile and feel the slight embarrassment melt away. I even appreciate the fact that laughter is always their first reaction when I goof up in some way. Some people seem to think that the slightest bump would break me in half. "I was going to get something to sit on, you guys want some more beer?"
"Yeah, sure," Foggy says. "I think we've earned it."
I've got my backpack right behind me, next to where Noel put all the extra beer. I pull out my coat and spread it on the ground and then go for three cans of beer. I hold them out to three waiting pairs of hands before I get one for myself and sit back down again.
Aside from my sore behind, I'm feeling pretty good. Not drunk enough to feel sick just enough for a really good buzz. I'm rarely comfortable enough to let myself go this far, but I'm among friends. Time to relax. Foggy, Danny and Noel sit down around me and open their cans. There's already a hearth in the middle, on a hard surface so that campers won't burn the whole forest down. We do need a fire though, and Foggy seems to be thinking the same thing.
"So, who wants to go with me to get some wood?" He gets up and Noel puts his beer down and follows. Danny stays behind, to keep me company I guess.
"Ah, this is nice." Danny lies down on his back and gets comfortable. Maybe he's looking at the stars. It feels like a really clear night and I'm sure you get a better view of them here than in the city with all the lights competing for attention. I wonder what they must look like out in the dark woods, and the regret stings for a second before I push it away.
"Yeah, I know." I get ready to lie down too. I may not be able to see the stars, but the ground feels good against my back, and the smell of the grass is intoxicating. I close my eyes and take the shades off and feel the wind against my face. In the distance, Foggy and Noel are bickering about something and that makes me smile. Suddenly Danny laughs out loud.
"Maaaaaatt, can I carry your notes?" he says in a poor imitation of a girl's voice, but I know immediately who he's supposed to be and I crack up too.
"Oh God, don't even talk about her." 'Her' would be Felicia from the debate team, my own personal stalker. Well, not quite, it's a little more harmless than that.
"She is so into you."
"Thanks for telling me, I hadn't noticed." I'm really spreading on the sarcasm.
"Man, the way she looks at you."
"Well, people do that. It sort of comes with the territory." Still smiling, I shrug. It feels funny to do that lying down.
"No, dude, I'm telling you, she looks at you like she's getting ready to boil a rabbit or something." He laughs again and does another Felicia impression: "Oooohh Maaatt, I just think braille is soooo faaascinating."
I find a pine cone right next to my hand on the ground and I sit up so I can throw it at him. "Shut up," I say laughing, right as it bounces off his head.
"Damnit. You are so going down." He lunges in my direction and grabs me by the neck. I know he was a wrestler in high school so he's actually pretty good at this. I'm laughing too hard to really do anything, but when I notice him relax I go for a quick escape and manage to pin him down.
"You were saying?" I smile triumphantly.
"Okay, you win." He's out of breath and laughing. We hear the others coming back and stop, still in an odd pile of arms and legs.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Noel says "I didn't realize we were interrupting an intimate moment here."
Danny goes along with the joke. "Well, you promised us babes, Noel. Hot girls. Where are they? Pretty boy Murdock here is as close as we're going to get. And that, my friends, sucks ass."
"Shit, Danny. I thought you had real feelings for me," I say and try to sound really hurt.
Foggy dumps a random assortment of dry sticks by the fireplace and I get back up. I'm a few feet away from where I sat to begin with and I carefully walk back. I'm woozy and the ground is very vaguely uneven, but I can sense the rock surface I'd been sitting on before Danny knocked me over. I lean down and take my seat when Danny grabs my glasses off the ground and hands them to me.
"Here. I guess you'd want these."
"Thanks." I wipe them off on my t-shirt and put them back on. "So, does anyone actually know how to start a fire?"
"Are you going to be a smart ass again?" Foggy says and takes out something that smells like lighter fluid.
"Hey, it looks like you came prepared, unless that smell is your new aftershave."
"Yeah, my love life has been so good lately, I needed a repellent," Foggy says and squeezes some of the liquid onto the wood.
Noel has some matches ready. "Okay, everyone lean back." The wood catches fires immediately and the flames heat up the air. "Fire in the hole!"
"Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Fire, tent, beer." Foggy's starting to sound really upbeat again after his recent humiliation. "Noel, you brought your guitar, right."
"Damn straight." He gets it out from his pile of stuff and a few stray notes travel through the air when it bounces against his knees. "This is the biggest chick magnet you ever saw. Or heard, pardon me, Matt."
"You're so full of it Noel," Danny says. "You've been talking about all the action we were going to get since you first thought of this trip. You think you're going to lure some hotties over from the main campsite with a stupid guitar? And that's assuming there are even any around here." We're on the outskirts of a bigger camping area, just a short walk through some bushes away from an actual port-a-potty. I suppose the music would travel far enough to reach the ears of anyone in the vicinity who might like to listen in, but I, too, remain a skeptic.
Noel is tuning the guitar, but stops and leans forward. "No, I'm telling you, this thing is magic. Let me tell you about my brother. He's like twelve years older than me, so he's married and shit, right? Anyway, before his wedding day, he took me aside and gave me this guitar, told me our dad gave it to him and so on. Family heirloom and all that. So he says to me, 'Noel, you can get any piece of ass you want with this guitar. All you have to do is believe'. And it works, guys. Seriously." He sounds like he's telling a ghost story.
We're quiet for a moment until Danny, Foggy and I all start laughing at the same time. Noel ignores us and starts playing the first few chords to Stairway to Heaven. It's a classic guitar hit, but I don't know anyone who actually knows the words all the way through. He gets off to a good start though: "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold, and she's buuuying a stairway to heaaaaven...."
"Wait, wait. Let's go with something everyone knows," Foggy says and scratches his head trying to think of something.
"Unless the magic only works with certain songs," I say, trying to tease Noel.
"Honestly, you guys don't even deserve to share the magic. You've gotta believe!"
"Okay, great, whatever. How about Kumbaya?" Danny asks and I can't be one hundred percent sure he's even joking.
"What! What kind of girls are we going to get singing Kumbaya? Shit, I think we'd get more action with Old McDonald and his freaking farm." Noel is still drumming away on the cords aimlessly.
"Okay, how about Yesterday? Chicks like the Beatles, right?" It's only the most played song in history and one I'm guessing everyone knows the words to.
"Okay, fine." Noel switches to more familiar chords and I'm actually impressed by his talent. He could probably play anything by ear.
A few beats later and we're all singing at the top of our lungs, "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so faaaar away, now it looks as though they're here to stay..."
Halfway through the second verse something happens that makes me think that Noel might not be full of it after all. A small group of people break off from the distant ocean of human sounds, and make their own river of footsteps and giggles. And they're coming this way.
"Guys?" I sit up straighter as they get closer, moving through the bushes. "Is that...?" I sense Foggy turning around and Danny and Noel go dead quiet.
"Oh, my God." Foggy's voice is so faint, I suspect only I can hear it. "Girls... Pretty girls."
"Hey, you guys!" The girl in front is the first to speak up. Her voice is followed by that of another just behind her: "So, mind if we join you?"
"Uh, yeah. I mean no. Let me... uh, let me get our sleeping bags out so you can have a place to sit." Foggy jumps up like he's been sitting on hot coals.
"Sure, that'd be great," the first girl says and the other three giggle. Their demeanor and the faint trace of beer on their breaths suggest that they're not exactly sober either. "So, where are you guys from? We go to Cornell."
"Columbia," Noel says. "Yeah, we drove up here from New York City." He clears his throat and starts to get his cool back after being temporarily stunned by the powers of his magic guitar.
"Oh, yeah? Well, I guess we should have known. Only a New Yorker would wear sunglasses at night. You see anything with those on?" Her tone is more tongue-in-cheek than snarky.
"Actually? No." I smile and the guys laugh at the situation. I guess her faux pas will start to dawn on her any second.
"Yeah, Matt here is... What's the technical term, Matt?" Danny passes the joke back to me.
"Blind as a bat. Yeah, that's pretty much it." I shrug. One of the others gives her a mild slap on the arm followed by a 'Lauren, oh my God.' She seems to take it in stride though.
"Okay, that's it. My karma is officially beyond screwed. I parked in the handicapped spot this morning at the store."
"Shit," girl number two says, "you're not supposed to do that!"
Girl number one, Lauren apparently, marches over and sits down next to me. "Sorry about that. Are we good?"
"Yeah, I don't mind if you park in the handicapped spot. I don't even drive." My joke hits her right where I want it to because she starts laughing really hard.
"You're funny!"
I like her instinctively. She smells great underneath the beer fumes and her laughter is genuine. Then her arm rubs against mine and it almost feels like a bolt of lightning.
ooOoo
For the next hour, us four guys are like new converts to the church of the holy guitar. Or maybe it's the church of good things eventually happen to those who wait, even if it's just four sorry ass horny guys with way too much beer in their systems. Either way, the experience is one of exhilaration of nearly religious proportions. In the face of our massive disbelief that any of this is actually happening to us, four angels have come down from heaven to deliver us from from boredom and frustration. We laugh, sing songs and roast marshmallows and even the heat of the fire feels stronger with four more bodies around it.
Lauren tells us that the four of them have been friends since freshman year and that they were all attracted to the others' unfettered spirits and willingness to follow their hearts. Amazingly, she can say all that and not sound the least bit pretentious. If I were into New Age, I'd even bet they were all old souls crammed into the bodies of young women, sharing some kind of secret that makes them wise beyond their years.
Jasmine, 'girl number two,' tells us about how they decided to form a poetry club, based in part on the events depicted in Dead Poets' Society, but that it had since been abandoned. "It was too juvenile," Isobel, the girl seated next to Foggy, tells us. "We took up feminist readings instead."
"Interesting," Danny says, though I know he's really just trying to keep them talking so they will stay with us a little longer. "And what did you learn?"
"We've decided that our instincts will tell us everything we need to know. For too long, women have been seeking society's approval. We've stopped listening to our bodies and our inner voices. But we know it's okay to seek out pleasure when our bodies yearn for it."
While Lauren, Jasmine and the fourth girl, Annabelle, nod approvingly, the rest of us gasp. Foggy is so stunned that he drops a marshmallow on the ground, and doesn't even bother looking for it. It's just typical that Noel has to go ruin the moment. "Shit, you girls don't, like, bury your tampons and stuff, do you?"
"Noel, shut up!" Danny is definitely the more sensitive of the two of them, and is always tactful when the situation requires it. "Pardon my friend, ladies. He's... uh, he's drunk. Or something..."
Annabelle laughs. "Oh, that's alright. People have all kinds of misconceptions about us, we're used to it. When it comes down to it, we're just four girls looking for fun."
"You got that right, sister." Lauren laughs and leans over to give Annabelle a high five. She's moved closer to me over the last hour and when she gets back into position, she actually leans her head against my shoulder.
"Wow, you're pretty chiseled, aren't you?" She lifts her head again and puts her hand on my shoulder to examine it more closely and then feels up the rest of my arm. My cheeks heat up like they're on fire, but I know it won't be noticeable in the dim lighting.
I know I have to say something. "Thanks. I work out some."
"Some? Try five times a week," Danny says, remembering our conversation from the gas station.
Lauren leans in to whisper something in my ear, and her warm breath tickles. I try not to pull away. "You can look at me if you want. It's okay, I promise." I'm a little puzzled by what she means by that until she takes my hand and puts it on her thigh. And she's wearing shorts, so I'm touching bare skin.
I know I'm doomed. As if sitting next to her wasn't bad enough - or good enough, depending on how you look at it - I've now got my hand on her. For a second, I stop breathing and all I can hear is the pulse in my head. As if on cue, the blood starts pumping into other regions as well. She must know what this is doing to me.
And it's not just me. When I tune into everything around me, it's clear that all of us have someone curled up next to us, and I'm beginning to wonder if they might belong to some strange Amazon cult who prey on the feverish fantasies of young men. Then another thought hits me: What if they're just like us? I want this, whatever 'this' is, and I know she wants it too. And not because she's looking for affirmation or even because she wants to offer the blind guy a pity fuck. Whoever these girls are, they are the real deal. I take the plunge and give Lauren's thigh a tight squeeze. She's soft and smooth, and the thought of going all the way makes my heart beat even faster.
"Something tells me you're not as shy as you seem," she whispers in my ear.
"I seem shy to you?" I'm surprised. I don't think people see me as shy, but I haven't been particularly forward with her.
She looks around the campfire. "You want to come with me? We can't hang around here with everybody else."
"Eh, yeah. Wha... where would we go?" Am I getting cold feet or is it performance anxiety? But I trust her. I barely know her, and I trust her.
"I have my own tent. It's quite a luxury actually." She puts her hand dangerously close to my crotch, and laughs. "I'd love to give you a tour."
"I think I'd like that." I reach for the folded up cane behind me and stand up. My jeans are tight enough to hide my current state of arousal, but I can't say it's comfortable. A little louder, to the rest of the group, I say, "So we're, uh, gonna go... I'll be back." There's no given protocol for this kind of situation.
"Yeah," Foggy nods, mostly to himself, "Okay."
Lauren gets up too and takes my hand. She feels taller standing next to me, but she still has to get up on her toes to reach my ear. "So, do I lead you or something?" She's very to the point, there's not trace of nervousness.
"Like this." My hand climbs up her arm, and she figures it out. We leave the area and the air gets cooler when we move away from the fire.
ooOoo
She says nothing until we reach what feels like another grove in the woods. "Okay, this is it." She reaches her hands up behind my head and pulls me into a kiss. I like the taste of her and it feels like my whole nervous system is on fire. I drop the cane behind me and pull her in. I can feel the shape of her body more acutely when she's all pressed up against me. She's thin, but not skinny. I get a little more cocky and run my hand up under her tank top. She shies away and giggles.
"Geez, wait 'til we get inside the tent. Here, get down on your knees." I do and it's not very comfortable, I feel gravel digging into my knees. She opens a zipper next to us and sort of puts my hand on it. "Follow me."
In the single second before I do, a million thoughts run through my inebriated brain. This is the first time I've been with anyone since Elektra, and she was my first. That was different, we were in love, but I have no moral qualms about this. It's a little too late to start thinking about saving myself for marriage, and that was never really something my dad preached around the house anyway. We're consenting adults, and there's the not so minor point of my whole body virtually screaming for it. Elektra is never coming back, I know that. It's time to move on, so I do.
I pull the drape to the side and wiggle into a too small one person tent. Lauren giggles and moves to the side to give me room. "I think I need to get a bigger tent."
"Oh, you do this often?" I'm teasing her. She's obviously more experienced than I am, but I don't mind. All I worry about is this being over too quickly.
"It happens. I'm a bad girl, you know." She's teasing me too. We're on our knees facing each other and I start by pulling off her shirt. She tries to do the same before she catches herself and reaches up to my face.
"No." I pull back. I can't help it, it's a reflex almost. I know I'm being silly, the glasses have to go, but I'm still self-conscious about my eyes. She stops.
"Hey, are you okay?" She sounds concerned. I can't have that.
"Yeah, I'm just..." I smile and take the shades off, "it's not my best feature."
"I think you're beautiful." No one has ever called me beautiful before. But she's not lying. She really means it.
"You're beautiful too." She's taken her bra off, and I reach out for her breast. She moves closer and finally gets my shirt off and then we're glued together skin against skin.
Of course, the thing about sex is that it's not like I remember seeing it in the movies. It's not necessarily graceful, and that's even more true when you're in a tent meant for one person and both of the guilty parties passed sober three or four beers ago. We both rush to get all of our clothes off, and my sneakers aren't co-operating at all. She's wearing less than I am, so she finishes sooner, which gives her plenty of time to laugh at the messiness of it all.
I'm finally totally naked and I know she is too. I guess she's waiting for some kind of reaction, but unless I touch her, I can't really tell the difference. She lays down and pulls me with her. I rest my weight on my right arm while letting the left sort of brush against her skin. I like the feeling, discovering her one square inch at a time. I guess sighted guys get the view of a naked woman in one big climactic moment while I get to enjoy seeing her a little longer, like sucking on hard candy. She's lying still and I can tell she's thinking about something.
"Does it make you sad that you can't see?" The question sort of takes me by surprise and I stop what I'm doing.
"I guess it happens. But no," I shake my head, "not usually."
"Good." She pulls me closer again. "I don't want you to feel sad." She takes charge and pulls my hand down in between her legs. I linger there for a moment, and enjoy the boyish fascination of exploring an anatomy so different from my own. She moans when I get to the good spots, and I know we're almost getting there. It's time for the boring technical details. I reach for my wallet in the back pocket of my jeans. I know there's a condom in it, but it might have expired. I scramble to get it out when she interrupts me.
"I'm on the pill you know." She's not lying, but I'm not about to get that stupid. I may be drunk and unbelievably horny, but I want this to be a moment to be remembered, not one I'll regret down the line.
"I still think we should." I finally have the small plastic packet in my hand, and I hate having to ask her to read it, but it's nothing like print on paper. "What's the expiration date on this?" Man, this is such a buzz killer.
She surprises me again by being an amazingly good sport. "Hey, it's fine. I don't mind." She takes it from me and flips it over. "It's still good. I can put it on with my teeth if you want."
"You... what?" Not even Elektra ever offered to do that. She pushes me onto my back and gets on top of me.
"Don't worry, I won't bite." I wasn't worried until she said that. Just the thought of it makes me sweat. She says nothing and rips the plastic. Next thing I know, I have her silky hair all over my belly and her mouth around my massive boner.
"Oh, God." I clutch at the silky fabric of the sleeping bag. "If you keep this up, I won't be able to hold back much longer." I try to think of something totally non-sexual. Anything. Foggy comes to mind, or rather, Foggy's TV habits. I try to focus on the voices of Captain Kirk, and Spock and Scotty... "Beam me up..."
"What was that?" She looks up and laughs. Holy crap, did I say that out loud? Her lips touch mine again and I rest for a second. So far, so good.
"Nothing, just..." I can barely keep my thoughts organized. "I want you." That sounded much better in my head than it did when I said it out loud.
"You mean like this?" She straddles me and just lowers herself until I'm suddenly inside her. Or maybe her being around me would be a better expression. She's the one running this show, after all. She seems to like it that way, and I'm not exactly protesting.
"Uh huh." I must look all giddy because that's how I feel. She starts a slow sort of grinding motion, and I don't know where the hell she learned to whatever it is she's doing, but I'm a fan. My hands move down her back and land on her ass to sort of help things along and I try not to think about how I'm really out of practice. Nice way to get back in the game.
We gain speed until we get too enthusiastic and she just sort of pops off. From what I hear, that never happens in X-rated movies. "Oops!" She laughs at our lack of coordination and tries to get back into position when I stop her.
"Hey, mind if I get on top?" I'm thinking that if I get to set the pace, the fun might actually last more than five minutes. Right now, I'm not so sure.
"Not at all." She lies down next to me and I get up and on top of her. I take a second to run my thumb along her jaw line and then my fingers into her hair. It's thick and the strands feel a lot like my own, which makes me curious about something.
"Can I ask... What color is your hair?" At first she says nothing, just mirrors my own motion by reaching up and sort of scratching my head.
"Red. I'd say a few shades darker than yours." It's an odd thing to have in common, but I like it. I get down lower and kiss her on the neck before moving on to her nipples. She sighs and presses against me. "So, I guess you like that, huh?"
"Yeah." It's more of a moan, I suppose, and I push myself inside her again. I don't think I even realized how much I needed this. It's different when it's with someone you love as opposed to someone you barely know, but the spontaneity of our meeting brings something different to the table.
We say nothing for the next few minutes and I lose myself in the moment, in the rhythm. It's rare for me to be able to cut out everything else completely, but all I can hear is her heart, along with my own, and her smell, intensified, is everywhere. The sensation is pleasurable to the point of almost being painful. But I'm waiting for her before I let myself cross the finish line. I will know when she's about to climax just from listening to what her body is doing. If that were an ability I could bottle and sell, I'd be rich. But having it for myself isn't bad.
When she comes, I do too. The release shoots through my body and I see a strange kind of irregular light. It's happened before, must be some weird synesthetic shit. We both collapse into a pile and I fall to the side. She sighs with pleasure, which makes me feel downright accomplished.
"Not bad." She rolls on her side and gets really close.
"Not bad?" I must look puzzled because she laughs just a little.
"Don't worry, that's high praise coming from me."
"Oh." That makes me wonder if she keeps a black book somewhere of all her conquests and the thought makes me smile. She's got one hand on my abs and I put mine on her thigh, not far from where this unlikely chain of events began less than an hour ago.
"Are you checking out my cellulite?" she says jokingly.
"I thought you girls were 'liberated' and all that. Do you really care?"
"Okay, busted." There's a smile in her voice. "I'm such a fraud." She leans her head against my shoulder and I inhale the smell of her hair. It's only minutes before we both fall asleep.
ooOoo
I wake up about an hour later. For the first few seconds, I'm confused until Lauren's presence next to me jogs my memory. So all that really did happen. She's been sleeping on my arm which has gone completely numb. I try to move it and she wakes up too.
"Wha...?" She sits up and scratches her head. "What time is it?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out." I listen for the ticking of my watch in my jeans pocket and pat around until I find it. I open it up and feel the position of the tiny hands. It's two o'clock in the morning. I listen for any sign of activity over by the camp site and hear the guys still up, probably getting ready to call it a night. They're not talking. Something tells me they've been hit by the rest of the nymphomaniac squad. Normally, that's the kind of thing I'd keep track of, but I've been a little preoccupied.
"Oh, that's really cool," Lauren says, and my brain is so sluggish that I don't really get what she's talking about at first. "Your watch, can I see it?"
"Sure." I hand it to her. Lots of people have asked to look at it over the years, though my current one is hardly my first. I suppose I should get something really fancy when I get my first well-paying job.
"I've only seen these on TV." She touches it lightly and clicks the glass back in place.
"Yeah, it's an amazing invention. You can actually tell time with it."
She slaps me lightly on the arm. "Hey, stop teasing." I smile at her and shrug and she hands it back to me. "I guess people probably pester you about stuff like that all the time, huh?"
"Yeah, it happens."
"I hope I don't seem like too much of an idiot."
"No, you're not being an idiot. You're curious. I don't mind."
She's quiet for a moment until she says something that throws me for a loop: "So, who broke your heart?"
"Why do you think I've had my heart broken?"
"It's just a feeling I had. I can tell about that kind of thing. I guess it's a gift or women's intuition or something like that."
"I did have my heart broken, but it's healed up pretty well." I'm not sure I want to talk about Elektra, even though I've thought about her more in the last few hours than I have in a long time. "She was just this girl I dated freshman year. We were in love, or so I thought, and then she left."
"Yeah, I know that feeling," she says. "When I was eighteen I was in love with this guy who was a few years older. He played in a band and I thought he was the coolest guy ever. He said he'd go on tour and take me on the road with him."
"I take it that didn't work out."
"No, he dumped me for someone prettier. On the other hand, I hear he got hooked on cocaine or something stupid like that, so I'm glad he did." She shrugs like it's not a big deal, and I don't think it is.
"But you know you're pretty, right?" I don't get the feeling she has any issues with self-esteem, but girls like to hear things like that. Especially when it's true.
"The blind guy thinks I'm pretty," she says, mostly to herself it sounds like. "How do you know? You haven't even done that face touching thing. I've seen that in the movies too."
I laugh and shake my head. "Yeah, in the movies."
"What, you don't do that?"
"No, not usually. But just so you know, I think I've seen enough of you to know you're really hot. Just trust me on that one."
"I think I will." She nods. "You're okay. If you're ever in Ithaca, look me up, okay? We'll do a rematch." She laughs and pokes me in the side.
"I don't even know your last name."
"It's Ryan, Lauren Ryan. Now get out of here before you fall in love with me. I can't have that on my conscience." She laughs and tosses my clothes into my lap.
"Okay." I laugh too. I'll miss her, but this was never going to be more than a one-nighter and her tent is feeling more claustrophobic by the minute.
"You want me to walk you back?"
"No, that's okay. We're close to the path that leads back, right?"
"Yeah, it's not right outside, but there are no other tents right around here, except right behind mine. I mean, I can see how that might be a... problem."
"As long as I can find the path, I'll be fine. I get around Manhattan by myself, so this should be a walk in the park." I put my shoes on and decide that I have everything. The cane should be right outside.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"This was nice." Our parting feels a little awkward, so it's better to just cut right to the chase and get it over with.
"Yeah, it was. Thanks for sharing a little piece of yourself with me." It strikes me as an odd thing to say, but it suits her.
I smile and nod. "You too."
I crawl back outside and stand up. I find the cane and snap it straight. Lauren is quietly watching me from the tent, probably to make sure I don't end up in the next county or something. I hear the sounds of my own campfire crackling away in the distance and walk toward it, following the path as soon as I find it. Behind me, I hear Lauren crawl back inside and into her sleeping bag. She won't miss me, but something tells me she won't forget me either.
ooOoo
On the way back, I meet Jasmine, Isobel and Annabelle, who are just leaving the camp site. Of course, I know they haven't just been hanging around the campfire. I can smell it on them. I don't think I'm ever going to tell anyone I can smell things like that because I can only imagine how it would freak everyone out.
When I reach the campgrounds, I know Noel is smoking a cigarette. He's not even a regular smoker, but I know what brought this on. Just like the other two, he's sitting quietly. Their heartbeats are slow, calm. Foggy turns around when I approach.
"Matt, what the hell happened to your hair?" His words hide another, more pertinent, question: 'What the hell just happened to us?'
I stop in my tracks and touch my head. He's right. It's all over the place. I'm overdue for a haircut too, but I do my best to flatten my too long locks of hair and beat them into submission. I give him my own brand of payback by deliberately getting a little careless with the cane and whacking him.
"Ow, damn! You did that on purpose!" He laughs though, and Danny does too. Noel keeps blowing smoke, but I get the feeling he's smiling.
"No, honestly. I didn't see you." I find a spot next to Foggy on the big log positioned next to the fire.
"Right." Foggy snorts. He doesn't know quite how good my senses are, but he knows I'm good enough to pinpoint his position with precision just from hearing him talk.
"So, what do we have here?" I put my hand on Foggy's head, thinking I can tease him a little more. "I think someone did a number on your hair too, Fog."
"Aw, geez. You're worse than my mother." He laughs and pushes my hand away.
"Well, I do cook most of what you're eating. I've gotta get something in return, right?"
"You guys are so bad." Danny's shaking his head and his voice reveals just how many beers he's had.
"So, are we going to talk about what just happened?" Noel suddenly leans forward and tosses what's left of his cigarette in the fire which is slowly dying down as the wood burns out.
"I don't know, Noel." Danny sighs. "Are you going to talk about your guitar again? 'Cause I'm feeling pretty good right now, I'd hate to ruin the moment."
"Seriously. Don't you get how unbelievable that was?"
"What...? You guys too?" I'm sort of playing dumb, although I'd love to get the details.
"I think we just got hit by the nymph squad." Foggy's pulling grass from the ground and aimlessly tossing it at the hot coals. "Backseat of my car," he adds, and that's plenty to paint a picture of what he's just been up to.
"Her car," Danny says, and we all wait for Noel.
"The tent," Noel finally says and nods knowingly.
We let it sink in for a moment. We were just beaten at our own game.
"I feel used." Danny pauses for a second. "But I like it." We all laugh at that.
"Man, I'm beat," Noel says and gets up. "You guys mind if we pick this little conversation up tomorrow? I feel some really nice dreams coming on."
"I've got to take a leak. Foggy?" I'm not really asking whether he needs to go or not, though I'm sure he does with all the beer we've had, but whether or not he'd be up for escorting me to a more secluded location. I don't really need his help. What I do need, however, is some one on one time with my very best friend.
"Yeah, me too." He sighs and gets up to brush off his jeans. He touches my hand and I grasp his arm. It feels a little shaky to me, almost like when someone's blood sugar drops too low. I think he's just exhausted though.
We walk about fifty yards away until we're behind a couple of really fragrant bushes. He unzips his pants and I do the same. "So," I begin, not quite knowing what to say, "was it good for you?"
Foggy chuckles at that and I start laughing too. "Yeah, it was the coolest thing ever. You don't really think it was the guitar though, right?"
"No way." I mean that. I know that strange things happen in this world, and that I'm something of a miracle on two feet myself, but I'm not particularly superstitious.
"I can't believe a girl like that went for someone like me. God, I wish you could have seen them, Matt. They were beautiful, like from a movie or something. It almost had to be magic, you know?"
"And Lauren said she wasn't pretty," I say quietly.
"She was a total fox, Matt." His voice gets that almost pleading tone that tells me he really wishes I could have seen her the way he did.
"Yeah, I know. I do." I zip my pants back up after unloading what feels like a gallon of what used to be beer and Coke.
"You thinking about Elektra?" Foggy's done too, but neither one of us are in a hurry to get back to the tent where I hear Danny and Noel get their sleeping bags out.
"Sort of, though it's not..." It's hard to really explain what's on my mind. "I really think I'm over her, Foggy. Tonight was great. Maybe one of the best nights of my life."
"Yeah, I know what you mean." I can hear the smile in his voice. If this seemed like a crazy thing to me, it must have seemed even crazier to him. I've never had a girl drag me over to her tent before, but I'm used to some amount of attention. Foggy doesn't get any of that.
"You know, I'm going to sleep like a log tonight."
"You know Noel snores, right?" I guess Foggy doesn't realize he does too.
"Yeah, but I'm so beat, I don't think it's going to matter."
Foggy touches the back of my hand again, and we head back to camp where Noel and Danny are putting out the fire. The burnt wood sizzles when they pour water on it and the smoky steam makes all of us cough.
I let go of Foggy and go to pick up my backpack and sleeping bag. It was a spare the Nelson's had that Foggy's dad gave me. I never went camping with my dad. It might have been nice though, maybe I should suggest it. But the thought of it makes me smile. We're both city people, we'd probably just get lost.
"Shit, it got dark!" Danny laughs as he trips over something while Noel and Foggy are still coughing.
"You guys are such amateurs," I joke when I get over to the tent. It got cooler, the air is filled with smoke and there's none of that nice crackling sound from the fire, but other than that, I couldn't tell the difference.
"Yeah, well you've had more practice." Danny picks himself off the ground.
"I guess so, huh?" We all start stripping down to our t-shirts and boxers, and I'm the first one to wiggle my way into the tent with the sleeping bag in tow. I slip into it and lie down, and the sleepiness hits me so hard, that I can feel myself start to drift away before the others even make it inside. It also hits me that none of us have brushed our teeth, but I'm too woozy and too far away from civilization to even care and we used up all our water to put out the fire. I can still taste Lauren on my lips and that lets me know for sure it wasn't an hallucination.
"Good night guys," Foggy says when everyone is inside and we're all lined up like giant larvae. The drumming beats of our hearts vibrate the air, and outside the crickets are playing a loud symphony.
ooOoo
Amazingly, I'm the first one to wake up even though it's around eleven. The sleeping bag feels too hot and sticky and I carefully pull my arms out to try to cool down. I accidentally nudge Foggy who just sounds like he's shifting gears and turns over on his side. The air is really stuffy and smells of half-digested beer and just a little bit of sweat and soot from the fire. There are showers on the campground and I can't wait to go over there and get myself rinsed off. Yesterday was all kinds of great, but now I want to wash it off of me.
I decide to head out without the guys. The showers are in a musty-smelling temporary set-up that was pointed out to me when we passed it last night. Not that I couldn't find them anyway. There's nobody in any of what I guess must be several stalls inside, but there's a smell of rust, chlorine and soap. The men's after shave lingering in the air lets me know I'm not about to make an embarrassing mistake and go to the women's showers.
When the water hits me it's so cold it almost makes me jump back, but it heats up quickly. My old childhood reflex of worrying about whether there's going to be enough hot water for the next person creeps back, but I decide not to care. In fact, the thought of really waking the guys up with cold showers sort of amuses me. Just as I'm thinking about that, I hear them approaching and I know I must have been in there longer than I'd planned. My basic sense of decency gets me going and I turn the shower off and amuse myself by listening in on their conversation.
"I'm telling you, he went to take a shower. He wasn't kidnapped." Foggy chuckles.
"How does he even know where the showers are?" That's Danny.
"We walked by here last night and I think I might have mentioned it in passing," Foggy says in reply. "I don't know, he's just freakishly good at finding places." I have to smile at that.
"I'd say," Noel chimes in. "I'm still voting for alien abduction."
"Noel, that's ridiculous." Danny again. "It's almost noon. You know, broad daylight. Come on!"
The door opens and fresh air pours in. I've almost got all my clothes on and am sitting on the bench in the changing area tying my shoes. "Hey sleepy heads."
"See, I told you he was fine!" I catch Foggy gesturing in my direction.
"What? What did I miss?" I play innocent.
"Nothing, Noel just... he had this wild theory that you'd been kidnapped by aliens. That's all."
"Right." I snort. "Nah, I just couldn't stand the stench of you guys." Danny sits down next to me. "Besides, don't they always come in the middle of the night?"
"Man, I was just saying that!" Danny bounces up again. "God, sometimes you really creep me out, Murdock."
I just laugh and shake my head. I take my things and the cane and get back up. "I'll wait for you outside, okay?"
ooOoo
Two hours later we're having an insanely late breakfast at one of those places that serve it all day long. The hang over and the exhaustion got me in the mood for something really sweet and I ordered french toast that I managed to almost drown completely in maple syrup. Noel and Danny are already making plans for our next endeavor.
"Okay, Noel. I'm not going to say this very often, but I trust your judgment on this one. When it comes to picking out quaint cultural festivals hours away from town, you may know what you're talking about. So, what's next?"
"I don't know. I guess you could come to my cousin's bar mitzvah."
"I didn't know you were Jewish," Foggy says.
"I'm not." Noel shrugs. "It's complicated. I've got a complicated family, alright?"
"Are there going to be chicks at this bar mitzvah?" Danny asks, trying desperately to stay on topic.
"Yeah, I guess. Not sure I could bring the guitar though."
"Hey, don't worry about it," I manage to spit out in between bites of pure sugar, "I'm sure there's probably something Amish going on somewhere if you want to go to Pennsylvania."
"Actually, that's not a bad idea, Matt." Noel nods approvingly. "Some of those chicks are pretty hot."
"Okay, so you're obviously not going to take this seriously. We'll just talk about it some other time." Danny then turns to me and leans forward. "So Matt, I got to try some of that blind sex last night."
"Really?" That finally makes me put my fork down. "What did you think?"
"It was very hot. Literally." He pauses for dramatic effect. "Well it wasn't pitch black outside so we both had to get in her sleeping bag. She was game though. Man, was she ever..." His voice goes quiet.
"Sounds pretty messy," Foggy says.
"Yeah, might have to try that again some time. Without the sleeping bag. But, I gotta tell you, I think I'm into eye contact. So maybe it's not really my thing."
"Yeah." I nod. "I can see that. I have to admit, it would be nice to have the choice. But I'll tell you how I look at it. You see, it's like hard candy."
"Hard candy?" all three of them ask in unison.
"Yeah!" I launch into my little theory and we talk and laugh until the waitress comes by to ask a third time whether we would like anything else.
The rest of the ride home, I think a lot about the last twenty-four hours. I know we'll never get to do anything quite like that ever again. I try to go over every moment in my head, and think of ways of making sure nothing will ever be forgotten. It might be a lost cause, but one thing I can't shake for now is the new sense of calm that's come over me. I let it put me to sleep. This time around, I don't notice the pig farms.
THE END