On the tenth day of Christmas my True Love gave to me…

…Ten lords a leaping.

This was a mess.

A complete mess.

A terrible mess.

He should kick Link in the shins for laughing… but at the same time he knew Link was holding back quite a bit.

The fact that it was extremely humorous was probably the only reason he did not feel to kill those put under his charge.

He would like to blame Zelda but he couldn't. He was the logical choice to watch over and guard these… imbeciles. Impa had more duties than he did after all.

He would also like to blame Link, but that would be petty and very hard to do, as Link had less to do with this catastrophe than Zelda did.

Become like Link indeed.

One of the nobles, male and obviously lacking some important bits between his ears, had made the suggestion that the reason Zelda and Link spent so much time together was that Zelda obviously preferred her men, well, muscular and versatile in ways that Link was.

Apparently most of them thought that Zelda liked men with skills like Link in bed, not just men like Link to look at.

Zelda liked men like Link, this was true. She also liked men like Sheik. What the nobles did not take into account was that she liked men with similar mental capabilities.

She liked Link because he was very direct and honest, something she rarely got. She liked Sheik because he knew her like the back of his hand and possessed a dry wit that never failed to coax laughter from her when they were in private.

But, well, eventually ten lords who did not know better set out to try and become physically more like Link.

To make sure they did not get in to trouble or assassinated Sheik was sent to watch over them.

Two days in, he had given up shadowing them and had dragged them to an area of northwest Hyrule field. Fed up with them, he told them he would treat them how he did Link and would even make an easy obstacle course of things he had known Link had done for them to run through.

Unfortunately for then ten lords, all of which he had numbered instead of going to the trouble of remembering names, when Link acted stupid Sheik hit him.

In the span of two hours he had put the fear of Din in most of them. There would always be rebellious ones in any bunch of course, but then again, when Link acted really stupid, which happened a total of once, Sheik had tied him to a tree and cooked the best meals he could within smelling distance. Being a very, very, very good cook this usually had the desired effect.

On the plus side, many of them (four to be exact) would likely never again take near as many things for granted as they had. Two of those had started to enjoy the difference of being outside in comparison to their homes and Sheik had actually learned their names. Hopefully most of them would be more in shape by the end of the month-long camp, and Sheik hoped they would continue exercising. Not too much hope though, he was realistic.

The obstacle course, though without any of the puzzles Link was so adept at, was considered torture buy all lords. Sheik had completed it in about a seventh of the fastest of the lords the first week, but now his 'students' had narrowed the gap to him being a fifth faster than they were.

He was still ungoddessly irritated with their lack of intelligence. They might be wary of him and his blows, but he had already outwitted all of them into believing they had asked for him to hit them. This gap was slowly driving him insane.

And then this morning Link had shown up from whatever trip he had been on for the princess. And it had been business, not pleasure, that was usually the source of Link and Zelda's conversations, not that Zelda wanted to advertize her main influence on the outside world. Zelda had foreseen that it would be implied that they were lovers and neither the Hero nor the Princess were bothered by it, after all, they were false and Impa would testify to that.

No one, not even the king of Hyrule, would question Impa's word.

So, concerned about Sheik and not wanting a political incident, she had sent Link to check up on them.

Sheik had managed to convince the lords that he had called Link to teach them a few things. Link had readily agreed to the suggestion and now they were well… watching the lords make fools of themselves by leaping… and falling.

Platforms, as Link called them, were one of the many things he often came across in temples or similar. So they had set up platforms (Sheik was glad for the help Link provided and how the fact that Link did it made the other ten pitch in) and Link had given them a test run.

The lords had practically fallen over themselves to emulate Link. It had worked amazingly. With the platforms and the obstacle course the lords were definitely getting a work out.

Sheik and Link had made sure that no one was injured and Link helping with 'sword practice' took a load off Sheiks shoulders.

At the end of the day the ten lords were drooping while either glaring or worshiping Link who looked no different than when he had arrived despite having been working out along side them.

Their snores were music to Sheik's ears.

"A bit like taking care of children."

Sheik nodded. "Children who have powerful parents."

"It's pointless you know."

Sheik sighed. "I know. I'm only doing this so that they don't kill themselves and maybe return… better somehow. More respect for you or other common folk? They certainly won't get Zelda though."

Link shifted and leaned back against the tree next to Sheik. "Shad." He said simply.

"I was told he was being trained under Impa next to Zelda while I am out here."

"It's true. She's not being gentle." Sheik winced, mainly because he knew that his training was nowhere near as harsh as hers.

"I should probably stay here. These boys are going to need all the help they can get against someone trained under Impa."

Sheik breathed a sigh of relief. "That would be wonderful." Then he chuckled. "I'm afraid though that we will not be enough."

"Oh?"

"Someone trained under Impa with Shad's mind?" He felt Link wince.

"Indeed. We're going to have competition as Zelda's strongest defenders."

Sheik couldn't really deny that so they fell into a comfortable silence.

"It's pointless to try and become me." Link whispered half to himself.

"True, there can only be one Hero of Time." Link chuckled, the sound dry and dark, an echo of horrors no child should have seen.

"Yes. But it's not just that."

"Or Shad?"

"Or Shad."

Sheik turned to his companion, interested. "Why."

Link met his gaze head on. "None of them would ever like you more than Zelda."

And right before Link kissed him he had a brief thought that should any of the lords wake he was not going to kiss any of them, if Zelda liked to watch boys kissing or not.