i of ii

i.

It happens slowly – in that he's almost positive it was always going to end this way from the moment he saw Baelfire in that cage. But he fights it. Because this is who he is. It's what he believes.

He's been fighting for himself since he became the only living Jones brother. He's been bristling at commands since the King sent him to his destiny. He's been eating his rage from the instant Milah's body slipped from the Jolly Roger. He's not the type of man to not be in control of his life, of his decisions – to let fate make his path. To let someone have power over anything of him and his.

He's a pirate in that he refuses to bow to anyone. He knows to fight because he's lost before. He's a pirate because he knows what it takes to survive. He knows that weakness breaks your heart.

So when he sits across from the one man in this town who poses an actual threat to what, or rather who, he wants, he isn't surprised the bar room falls quiet and eyes fall on them. They're no less expecting an encore of their earlier showing in the street in front of Granny's.

Hook nearly grins, feels the tightness in the corner of the left side of his mouth and decides against it. Neal nearly does the same, but he pulls at the skin under his swollen eye, careful not to spread the bruise.

"You look awful, mate."

"Have you looked in a mirror?"

Hook scratches at his ear absently, eyes darting between the mug of beer in front of Neal to his cut knuckles on the table. With ease, Neal lifts his arm, motioning at his cup to someone behind Hook. When an identical mug shows up in front of him, he almost doesn't know what it means. What he means.

"We really messed things up today, didn't we?"

"Aye." He pauses, rolls the tip of his tongue against his teeth a few times. "Apologies, Neal. I overreacted."

After attempting to raise his brows, Neal winces twice. He lets out a rough sigh, picking up his cup and slightly tipping it in Hook's direction.

"You did. But so did I."

By the beginning of the third round past midnight, if there was karaoke, they'd be singing along. It's a combination of the beer and the cliché trope of two men battling it out over a woman before becoming fast friends. It's a little of something else, too.

"Mate, mate, stop! I think you bruised one of my ribs earlier!"

Neal only laughs harder, hand cupping the side of his face that's going to be darker and sorer in the morning. Finally, they stutter into silence. Hook takes in a deep breath, and doesn't even think about what he's about to say.

"I see why she loves you."

The tone shifts and they feel it fall on their shoulders. Gone, are the hours of stories and careless banter. Here, is what they've been trying not to say all along. Neal lowers his eyes for a long moment before draining what's left of his beer.

"Come on, pirate. Let's get you back to your ship."

It's hard for him to not call him Baelfire. That's what Milah told him. And that's who he found in the water. That is the name of boy he wanted to save him. But in the dark, under a half moon and the electric lights, in all this shadow, Hook can see that this man is Neal. He is the grown man of his own making.

"Stop looking at me like that, man. You're freaking me out."

"It's just strange. Still. Seeing you all grown up."

"How do you think I feel seeing you the same age?"

"I suppose you'd rather not see me at all?"

Neal sighs.

"I'm not going to lie. It'd be easier if you weren't going after Emma."

"For both of us," Hook adds, again without fully thinking.

"What do you mean?"

With the ship in sight, Hook's mind seems to grow clearer. His hand rubs against his chin. He thinks if he stays silent until they reach their destination it might be better. But just because he knows better doesn't mean he does it.

"You think I want to care for her? I spent 300 years in mourning over...your mother. And I never even thought, for one second, that that would ever change. Until Emma."

He halts. Just a few steps from his Jolly Roger and safety, but he stays on the dock.

"I want nothing more than for you to be happy." Because the man in front of him might be Neal but Hook will always see the boy who told him the truth many long years ago. He will always in some way, be Baelfire. The boy who could've been his son.

"I wish she was just another lass to me. Maybe then, you and I could…somehow be friends."

"But you love her."

"Aye. Not that she's easy to love."

Neal smiles with Hook. They both know it's the truth. They both know it's not in the least.

"You surprise me," Neal shoves his hands in his pockets. "You aren't the man I remember, handing me over to the Lost Boys."

"Not my proudest moment," Hook replies quietly. "But you were just a boy. And I, a…coward."

There's a beat. There's a lot of history filled with moments that neither of them wants to relive. They've had their share of Neverland.

"Hook….Thank you. For Henry," he clarifies. "You didn't have to help get him back. It probably went against everything in you." Neal frowns softly. "But you did it anyways. And you helped save him so he didn't have to grow up like I did."

Alone. Afraid. Heartbroken. Looking to the stars to find a way home.

"I made that mistake once. I couldn't let your son suffer the same fate."

"It means a lot."

"But?"

"But I don't know. I grew up hating you because you took my mother from me."

"We - ."

"No, even if you did fall in love, she left me to be with you. That's never going to go away for me no matter how many drinks we have or portals we go through. I could've had a life with her. Hell, a life with both of you, but I didn't. I had Rumplestiltskin. And he left me. And when I finally wound up in that ship, you left me too. It felt like you took everything from me. My mother, my childhood, my freedom. But you know what the craziest thing is? I would always imagine my father coming to save me, but a few times I dreamt that it was you."

Not many things can leave him speechless. This happens to be one of them.

"Neal…."

Exhaling a long breath, Neal shakes his head as if to clear it.

"No, don't. I'm tired. I'm drunk. I don't know what I'm saying. I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."

Hook watches the boy walk away, fading into darkness. He tries not to imagine that boy alone in a cave, counting down the days until it doesn't even matter anymore. He tries not to blame himself, but the boy is right.