My Boy

a GundamWing fic by KiKi

Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters or gundams. I wish I did.

Warnings: Character death implied as happening previous to the story, gay relationship, minor spoiler for the end of the Episode Zero manga.

Pairing: 1x2/2x1

Rating: PG for male/male relationship (would be G in an ideal world)

"That doesn't matter to me."

As I spoke, the words echoed in my head, memories surfacing.

Three years ago, on a Preventers mission, I had spoken similar words. Back then it wasn't real, didn't mean anything to me. This time it was real, this time I meant it.

"That was my boy. It's not worth living anymore. Go right ahead and blow us all sky-high."

Down below, they gaped at me. I lifted Wing's beam cannon, aiming it at the weapons shelter, prepared to start the chain reaction that would end this colony, and myself with it.

One of the men ran forward. "We'll give you the hostages, all of them! Just, please, don't shoot!"

I laughed. "I'm not here for hostages. In fact, I couldn't care less about the hostages. I'm here for revenge."

I fired the beam cannon twice, watching as they hit their target, blowing a huge hole in the shelter. I fired once more, in case the first two hadn't begun the chain reaction of bombs, and had my self-destruct switch in hand before it hit. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion; the people below who were screaming, my hand tightening on the device.

Time stopped temporarily as, suddenly, Duo stood before me in my cockpit, framed in white. He was shaking his head slowly with a sad -- or perhaps disappointed? -- look on his face.

"No, Heero. It isn't your time yet. You will join me when you are ready, and not before."

He faded from sight again, my beautiful braided baka.

I shook my head. "I can't wait that long, beloved."

I pressed the button with my thumb, and everything exploded around me, pitching me into a bright miasma of colors that faded slowly into white. I caught a glimpse of Duo, who was on his knees on the ground, weeping. When he looked up at me for a long second, his violet eyes shone with tears and pain. I tried to reach out, to comfort him, but he faded away into the darkness that claimed me then. Blackness, and a terrible feeling of loneliness...this was my hell, trapped here without Duo.

I woke up to alarmed dries of "Heero! Heero, wake up!" I opened my eyes to find Duo's relieved violet ones peering down at me.

"Thank Shinigami! You must have been having some dream there, love. I couldn't seem to wake you up, and you were tossing and turning... You cried out my name, once, just before I woke you."

"I'm alright." I smiled faintly. "It was just a bad dream." I reached out, pulling his slender body to mine in a hug.

He returned it gently, almost as if he were afraid of breaking me, and then asked, "What happened that made you so agitated, beloved?"

I held him a little closer as I answered. "I made you cry."

OWARI