AN: I don't own Glee- haha, Ryan Murphy! You can't sue me, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah. My first glee fanfic! Woohoo! It will be Out Of Character-just warning you. It's only T cuz I'm paranoid. I'm a die-hard Klaine shipper. Mostly. You gotta love Blittany... they're soo cute...Anyway, I kinda changed things in the Single Ladies video and borrowed a Chris Colfer quote- 'I'm kind of a ninja.' I was going to have 'You will all work for me,' in here, but I decided not to.

'You know you want me, you know I want ya...' Blaine sang. He was serenading Kurt with Pitbull's classic. It wasn't romantic, but hey- Blaine wasn't good with romance.

'Blaine. Do me a favour and shut up.'

'Why?' Blaine pouted. He smirked at Kurt. 'You know you love it.'

'No,' Kurt protested. 'I don't.' Blaine tickled Kurt until Kurt had fallen off the bed.

It had only been a few weeks into Kurt and Blaine's relationship, and Blaine's parents accidently dropped hints at a family get-together with the Hummel's that a) Blaine was straight (big fat INCORRECT) and that b) Kurt was a secret terrorist ninja person (possible, Kurt thought, possibly true...).

FLASHBACK

Blaine wanted a little fun and he was annoyed at Kurt for being so perfect. Why couldn't he have a flaw? Well, there were always the…intimacies of a relationship- that would freak Kurt out if Blaine started talking about it.

'Blaine. How do you know your…boyfriend isn't a secret terrorist? Have you checked him?' Blaine rolled his eyes as his father loomed over him angrily.

'I'll check if it makes you happier.' Blaine said, deadpan.

'Check, then.'

Blaine quickly typed in Kurt Hummel into Google and got a few videos. Blaine put them on mute and started watching them. After a few seconds, he had his knuckle in his mouth and he was rolling on the floor. Mr Anderson left the room worried. He brushed off the emotion. Blaine was just going through a phase, not going insane!

Blaine had found two hilarious clips on YouTube of his boyfriend.

Perfect for having fun with.

FLASHBACK OVER

Kurt crawled back onto his bed, glaring at Blaine slightly.

'You messed uo my hair.' Kurt began fixing his hair as he said this, and lay down next to Blaine.

'I found this on YouTube.' Blaine said suddenly. He reached for Kurt's shiny purple laptop and switched it on. Kurt instantly began thinking of any stupid things he had posted onto YouTube. Nope. Unless...

'Blaine, what are you talking about?' Kurt smiled, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. Blaine had gotten onto YouTube and was typing in something when he noticed the favourites. He clicked on them and saw only two YouTube clips.

Sue Sylvester-Vogue.

Nothing came up. Blaine was momentarily confused. 'Blaine?' Kurt asked.

Sue Sylvester- Physical

Nothing came up. 'Blaine,' Kurt said, 'you're scaring me.'

Blaine forgot about them and typed in:

Kurt Hummel- Give up the Funk SOLO VERSION

It came up and Blaine saved it. 'Come on Blaine, talk to me!'

Kurt Hummel- Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)

One more save and…'Blaine!' Kurt almost shrieked at Blaine, shoving him off the bed.

'I'm blackmailing you.' Blaine announced.

'What?'

'Yes, I'm blackmailing you.'

'What for?'

'For…a date. At BreadStix.'

'Blaine, you could just ask me. I'd definitely say yes.'

'Fine. I'm blackmailing you for…your Gucci loafers. The ones you're wearing right now!' Blaine shouted truimphantly. Kurt's face searched Blaine's face for any sign of lying, joking around... There was none.

'I hate you Blaine Anderson.'

'I want you to hit a high F too.'

'What are you blackmailing me with?' Kurt asked, his curiosity taking over him.

'These,' Blaine said, utterly deadpan. He showed those two video clips to Kurt. The subject of those clips watched in total horror as he watched himself prance about singing about ripping the roof off mother suckers and having only four minutes to save the world.

'Oh. My. Gaga. What the heck, Blaine?' Kurt suddenly shrieked. 'You're blackmailing me with this? Oh gaga…I'm dead. You're not getting my loafers. I'm going to be killed. Will you show them to Coach Sylvester? Because if you show them to her, she'll humiliate me. Happily. She never forgave me for putting out that 'Physical' video with Mercedes. Why would you want my loafers, Blaine? They are last season and I only wore them because these are the only jeans the look good with. I mean, I bought it on a whim. Do you love the loafers more than you love my dignity? Why did you get these videos and blackmail me for those loafers, Blaine? Why? Do you hate me? Do you want to kill me by death of humiliation with a capital H?' Kurt began babbling.

'Wait, you put out that video of Sylvester doing Physical? Kurt, I need to high five you now.' Blaine joked, remembering his reaction when he saw that video. It was his who-shot-kennedy moment.

'SHUT UP BLAINE!' Kurt screamed.

'Warblers,' Blaine said loudly, his voice echoing slightly over the ruckus of voices merging together. 'I have an announcement to make.' Kurt eyed Blaine cautiously. Ever since his slight mental breakdown, Blaine had been avoiding Kurt and Kurt kind of understood why. He must have looked scary in his sky-blue skinny jeans, red and white checked T-shirt and a sky blue scarf that went ever-so-well with his jeans, babbling about dignity, loafers and humiliation. Blaine had silenced Kurt with a short kiss and then left soon after.

'Kurt has forgotten to do and give me something. Basically, I've been blackmailing him.'

Uproar of disapproval and the occasional laugh filled the room which resulted in Wes banging his tiny little precious hammer several times before the room quietened down.

'I wanted his Gucci loafers and for him to sing a high note. High F, in fact. He didn't and kind of had a mental breakdown. Sorry about that, Kurt, but they need to know. I'm really hoping this will shake up our relationship up a bit, and I really want those Gucci loafers. They're amazing. Plus, these are hilarious videos. So, sorry, Kurt, but I'm going to have to show the Warblers this.' Blaine said.

He clicked a little button on a remote control which controlled the projector. Kurt noticeably winced.

At first, a deep voice filled the room.

Tear the roof off
We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
Tear the roof off the sucker,
Tear the roof off
We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
Tear the roof off the sucker,

'Who's that?' asked Wes. Blaine shrugged and paused the video, a slight look of jealousy passing his face. Blaine didn't like the idea of someone else performing with Kurt.

'Kurt, who is that?' Kurt scowled and Blaine thought that look really suited him.

'It's me.' Kurt glared at Blaine.

'WHAT?' shouted pretty much everyone in the room. Kurt- to prove all the disbelievers wrong- performed that little bit in the Warbler's common room. 'I can hit low notes. My vocal range is like an elastic band covering in shiny diamonds and scarves. Forget the scarves, actually. With the scarves, it would look like Rachel Berry trying to look sexy and that is just a look she can't pull off.'

Blaine was drooling slightly, attempting to recover from Kurt's low singing. 'That. Was. Hot. Can you record it? It could be my new ringtone.'

'Shut up, Blaine. Just play the stupid video.' Jeff hollered and everyone laughed, apart from Blaine and Kurt.

You've got a real type of thing going down, getting down
There's a whole lot of rhythm going round.

Suddenly, the video started and there was Kurt, in his favorite outfit, singing this song. His eyes bored into the camera. His voice surprisingly suited the song. Blaine was recording it for his new ringtone and everyone was either silently laughing or looking at Kurt.

At the end of the song, all the Warblers were silent. Kurt glared at everyone who opened their mouth.

'Okayyy, we've all seen enough, every one get out, don't tease me or sing this song to me, ok? Go.' Kurt said quickly as he caught Blaine's eye.

'Actually, there is another clip.' Blaine said, smirking slightly. Wes nodded his head in approval and Kurt buried his head in his arms.

'Well, what is it?' Wes asked.

'It's Single Ladies, by Miss Beyonce Knowles.' Blaine replied. 'No singing, just dancing.'

Everyone started laughing loudly and Kurt looked up from his arms. 'Shut up. I can use sai swords disturbingly well, and it would be easy for me to intimidate you with my sword-spinning talent.' He threatened.

Everyone fell silent immediately.

Blaine secretly pressed the 'play' button.

'Comb through the hair and slap the butt. It's not hitting, Brittany, it's slapping. How hard can it be? Come on now. Comb through the hair and slap the butt! Wooh! Okay, I think we're ready. Oh, it's started. Let's go!' Kurt's voice broke the silence. Everyone started guffawing at the words 'slap the butt' while Blaine was just watching Kurt was an amused, smug expression. Everyone looked at the image the projector was projecting. Kurt was dressed in a tight, sparkling, black cardigan with skinny jeans, long sleeved leotard, gloves that matched his cardigan and a black tie. It was an image most people would like to forget. In the background were two female dancers. Kurt was lip-synching to the song. Wes looked at Brittany and all he could think was, that blonde girl looks hot slapping her butt. Wonder if Blaine and Kurt do that…

No-one noticed Wes silently freaking out. They kept their eyes fixed on Brittany and Kurt.

'Kurt?' came a male voice. Blaine instinctively balled his hand up in a fist, before relaxing it again. It was just Burt.

'Dad!' Kurt exclaimed.

'What are you doing?' asked Burt.

'I'm pretty sure that my grasshopper is getting married to my cat.' Brittany said. Wes and all the other Warblers looked startled.

'We were just filming,' Kurt said. 'Tina, could you turn off the video camera? I don't think Brittany knows how to.'

'You're totally right. Please can I go now? I'm late for my daily Tater-Tot Hating Club meeting.' Brittany agreed. Tina rushed up to the camera and switched it off.

In the following chaos, Kurt did a self-reminder to himself to get Blaine's back. That would be easy.

'Kurt? What are you doing?' Blaine asked timidly, watching Kurt all the time.

'I'm just practicing. You should try it sometime, instead of humiliating your boyfriend.'

'I would kiss you now and comfort you, but I can't. You're freaking me out.'

'I do that to a lot of people. Most of the time, I hope it's because they're stunned of my talent. I think it's just because I've announced I'm gay and proud of it.'

'Kurt? Can you please stop it?'

'Stop what? Practicing? No. I won't.'

Kurt stopped practicing when it was lesson time. When it was the Warbler's practice time, Kurt started practicing all the way through the Warbler's practice.

'Kurt. We would like you to stop freaking us out! Is it because we laughed at you?' David asked.

Kurt merely nodded, then turned to Blaine. He mouthed the words 'this is my revenge' and Blaine noticeably paled.

Kurt smiled.

He was correct when he said that everyone would be intimidated by him.

Kurt wondered briefly whether the sai swords he was currently swinging expertly had anything to do with it.

It did.

'You see,' Kurt said. 'I'm kind of a ninja. I said I can spin sai swords surprisingly well, and I can. You can obviously see. This is my revenge. I am slightly out of practice and these might slip out of my hands any moment. If they do, it'll probably kill you, like you guys killed me with your cruel, cruel laughter. If anyone mentions what happened yesterday, I'll do something very scary.' Kurt said.

'So,' Blaine summed up. 'If any of us mentions Kurt singing 'Give up the funk' and 'Single Ladies', he'll kill us.'

Two sai swords whistled past Blaine's ears. In shock, Blaine looked back a the wall and saw two swords, a centimeter away from scratching Blaine's ears.

'I'll do something scary like that.' Kurt said, winking as he pulled out the swords from the wall and started twirling them again.

Blaine started drooling.