A Change in the Weather
Summary: "It was simple, wasn't it? Here, it was just you and me. There was no trouble, no misunderstandings; it was just us and the Ocean. I'd give everything I have to get it all back." ZV post-breakup
Author's note: This is a depressing fic; there is no happy ending because this is only meant to help me accept their situation. If you don't want any more negativity, then don't read.
It's too late to cry
Too broken to move on
And still I can't let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take what you don't need from me
Vanessa Hudgens sat in the sand, her gaze transfixed onto the magnificent view of the ocean. Deep in thought, she absent-mindedly traced words on the shore of the Malibu beach. Behind her was the little beach house where she had spent all of the past summer with him. Once again she turned on her IPhone to read his text message.
'Ill b there in 5'
She sighed not used to seeing his name on her phone. Since the beginning of their relationship she had always saved his name as 'My Man', 'Lover', 'My Love', and few days before their break-up he had been 'Baby Boo'. Now, whenever she received a text message from him it simply read 'Zac'.
Wrapping her arms tightly around her propped knees, she felt very nostalgic remembering the countless times she and him had sat at this exact spot, just looking at the sunset or sunrise. That summer had been magical for the both of them, and if there was one moment she wished more than ever to re-live, it would be then. Both wanting to take a break from the Hollywood life they were part of, they had rented a nice summer house on a Malibu beach. This not only brought them closer, it also allowed them to live as they pleased without the scrutinizing lens of the camera.
"We should move here forever, you and I. You know, raise our kids here and never again returning to the paparrazi attraction that is our homes," he had told her, semi-joking.
"You know I'm not one to disagreet. So, when our lives become less career-driven, we should definitely live here all year round," she had replied, wrapped in his embrace.
"Sounds like a plan," he then grinned ruffling her hair a little.
She was brought out of her reverie when she heard a car door closing loudly. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was.
"Do you think we'll make it?" she had asked him a moment later.
From the corner of her eyes, she saw his sneakers in the sand, beside her. Instead of acknowledging him, she only continued to stare ahead.
"You and I? Of course. I mean, we've been through hell and back together. Here we are, two 20-something years old, still going strong after 5 years in a very public relationship. So, yeah, I definitely think we are gonna make it," he had declared confidently.
Without a sound, she saw him sat beside her and she relished in his presence. It felt as if for the first time in months, she was on familiar ground. She appreciated the fact he stayed silent, patiently waiting for her to say something. It proved her, he still knew her even if months had passed without seeing each other.
"I'll always be yours," she had whispered lying against his chest.
"And you'll always have my heart," he had retorted, kissing her head.
Vanessa bit the inside of her cheek attempting to stop the tears from spilling from her eyes at the painful bittersweet memory of them. Wanting comfort more than anything else, she laid her head on the shoulder of the guy she had once called 'future husband'. He immediately wrapped an arm around her waist as a response. No words needed to be exchanged; right then they needed this more than anything.
"I didn't think you would come," she whispered after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"And I, never in a million years, thought you would ask me to meet you here," Zac Efron replied gently, referring to the beach house they had claimed theirs only mere months ago.
"It was simple, wasn't it? Here, it was just you and me. There was no trouble, no misunderstandings; it was just us and the Ocean. I'd give everything I have to get it all back," Vanessa confessed.
"I second this," he responded, caressing her waist through the tissue of her shirt, absent-mindedly.
"We were happy, weren't we?"
"Well, I was. And I like to believe you were too."
"When did we lose that?" she inquired in a broken tone.
She feared her question may have reopened some wounds, but right at this moment she hadn't been able to stop herself from asking him this. She heard him let out a shaky breath, but he didn't unwrap his arm from around her like she had thought he would.
"I don't know Van. I really don't," he answered her, dejectedly.
She couldn't help it; she felt chills as he used the special nickname only he was allowed to call her.
"It was meant to be, I guess," she said, referring to the weeks leading to their break-up.
A lot could change in the span of a few weeks, and unfortunately for them, the little problems they had been accumulating over the years had resurfaced all at once in the days leading to their separation. Words had been exchanged, people had become involved, and the pressure of the world they lived in all came crashing down on them, forcing them to make the most difficult decision of their lives.
"Are you okay with that?" he questioned.
"I'm going to be. You?"
"I'm getting there."
Neither bothered to mask the pain from their voices; they have been through too much to start to hide the truth.
"Why are we really here, Vanessa?" Zac inquired softly.
Vanessa closed her eyes and sighed. She knew this question was inevitable; however she really hoped it hadn't been so soon. However, as much as she just wanted to pretend the only reason she'd asked him to meet her was because she missed him, this was untrue. And as much as she wanted to just bask in his presence as long as she could, she knew this was unfair to him.
"Josh asked me out, and I said yes," she declared, removing her head from his shoulder to gauge his reaction.
Evidently, she saw his eyes becoming lighter, clear sign he was upset. His arm that was previously around her now hung by his side. He looked up at the sky, a pained expression upon his face.
"I figured this would happen eventually," he finally said. "I mean, you guys have been hanging out a lot since we, you know," he continued, attempting to mask his hurt.
"Yeah, we have. How did you know?" she inquired, hating herself for causing him so much pain, again.
"Internet," he replied. "The same websites that used to adore us now sport headlines like 'Vanessa and her new man', it's hard to miss you know? It was kind of obvious you guys would end up…" he interrupted himself, and she could tell he was unable to say the word 'together' when referring to her and Josh.
She closed her eyes, wondering why she kept on causing him so much pain. Yes, it had been a mutual decision on their part to call it quits, but didn't mean all of sudden he would be okay with knowing she was moving on. She didn't know why, but she had desperately wanted his approval over her newfound relationship. Maybe, selfishly she had hoped Zac would profess his love to her, though she knew that would never happen.
"Do you hate me?" she asked.
"For moving on, no," he answered. "I even admire you for being able to become involved after the way we ended. I just want to know one thing, were you guys a thing before we broke up?"
"No. When I was with you, you were the only guy I was interested in. I never cared about the other guys 'cause I had you. You really meant the world to me," she clarified. "But, he was there when we broke up. He was there when my pictures leaked for the third time. He was there when…"
"I wasn't," he finished for her. "Do you l-love him?"
"Not yet," she shook her head.
"Do you think you'll love him as much as," once again, he was unable to finish his sentence.
"That's not fair," she retorted. "We've been through everything together you and I. Right now, it's impossible to compare."
They stayed silent for a while, the implication of her words hitting home. Deep down they knew nothing would ever compare to what they've been through; nothing.
"Surprises me you're not on your way to haunt him down, to be honest," she remarked.
"A big part of me wants to beat him up yeah. But a bigger part of me says if you're happy, then I'm okay with it."
His sincere yet pained voice was too much for her, and she couldn't stop the tears to fall from her eyes.
"Why are you so nice to me? You have every right to be yelling and calling me a bitch or a slut and yet, you don't."
"That's 'cause you're not a bitch or a slut. You're healing, it's normal. I may not be okay with it right now, but I will be," he responded offering her a small dejected smile.
"I miss you," she declared. "I think I always will."
"So will I, Van. It's annoying but you'll always be in my guts. Always. Like a stained that won't come off no matter how much you rub and wash it," Zac said lightly. "Anyway, I better head back. Me and the guys are gonna hit the clubs tonight, again."
"Who knew you were such a fan of the club-scene?"
"Well, what can I say? We all have our own ways to get over a heartbreak," he shrugged. "Yours just happens to be healthier. And by the way, as much as it flatters me, you don't need to get an approval from me. You're not mine anymore."
"I know, but it just felt natural you know? I don't know. It just didn't felt right as long as I didn't get your approval."
Without saying it, they both agreed it would take a while before either of them started to get used to a life without the other. After all, you couldn't just forget a 5 years committed loving relationship in just a few weeks.
"Well, now you have it. And it's valid for all the other relationships you'll have, by the way," he declared, getting up.
"Even if the guys are complete jerks you would never approve of?"
"I'll rephrase it; you've got my approval for all the nice guys you decide to date."
"And you've got mine," Vanessa retorted.
"I think it would be a good idea if we don't see each other for a while. I may seem calm about the whole thing right now, but fact is, it feels like I've been stabbed in the chest a dozen of times."
"I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, I really am. If there's one thing I regret in our relationship is hurting you. Everything else, I don't regret."
"Then we're on the same page," he said plainly.
As he started to walk back to his car, she blurted out:
"To answer your previous question, no I don't think I'll love him as much as you. I don't think I ever will love anyone as much as I loved you."
Her confession warmed his shattered heart.
"If you still feel this way in a couple of years, then I believe our paths will cross again someday. And when the time is right and when life won't be as complicated, it will be our time again."
"Do you believe we'll be an us again?"
Zac pursed his lips. As much as he wanted to believe so, he really had no idea.
"One can only hope," he answered. "Goodbye Van, take care of yourself okay?"
"You too, Zac," Vanessa replied.
As soon as she heard the sound of his car starting, she let tears of despair fall from her eyes.
It was over.
Looking ahead at the ocean, she hugged her knees tighter. While she knew her life would from now on be without him in it, she had a feeling she had not seen the last of him. This thought comforted her and a melancholic smile started to form.
"One can only hope," she muttered, repeating the words Zac had told her.
A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I'm standing in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most
'Cause you are my heaven
-A Drop in the Ocean, by Ron Pope
-HSM-
A/N: This story was purely meant to appease my heart, because to be honest the more time goes by, the less chance there's going to be a Zanessa reunion. I desperately want to believe they're still on good terms; it comforts me to create scenarios in which they are. I felt like I needed to get this out, because the Josh/Vanessa news hit me hard and I'm starting to struggle holding onto hope of Zac and Vanessa will get together again.