The Evil Food Eater
a Xiaolin Showdown and Vocaloid fan fiction
by hitagashi
Summary: Based off of the song Evil Food Eater Conchita by Vocaloid. Why is Jack the Banika Conchita? Because he INHALES his food. I'm in a bad mood.
Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown or make money off of these writings. I also do not own or make money off of Vocaloid things.
--=--
Years of eating food had made this figure famous, never gaining weight and shrouded in mystery. As of late, however, the "Banika Conchita" had been eating more bizarre things. People began to fear the maid and butler when they fetched their food. And then three people disappeared, not to be heard of again.
The albino licked his lips as he reached the end of his meal for the day. The beautifully presented lasagna made from that one reckless cowboy called to him first, his smile growing as he consumed the dish. Truly, his chef was the best. A drop of blood fell onto his dress and he shrugged, continuing eating the dish until he began to consume the plate beneath it. Next was a stew made of that Brazilian who thought he could weasel his way into the mighty Conchita's bed. He sipped at the broth, made of the blood and sweat in his body. His tongue laved over the cooked morsels of his flesh and he almost moaned in delight. Such delicious meals he was made, the bones ground into fine spices to be eaten. His third dish was that horrible witch, the red head with a temper who thought herself better than the Conchita. He chuckled softly and brought the sandwich to his lips.
The soft crunch made him deliriously happy as he continued to eat the amazingly flavored human dish. He finished, no crumbs littering the table before smiling ever so sweetly at his chef. The man picked up the utensils, pausing to bow before his Conchita. The albino grabbed his empty hand, bringing the cook's fingers to his lips and licking over one before letting the tall and green haired man leave.
The next day, after eating some more, the cook stood before him, having bowed already. Asking to have a leave of vacation, the Conchita merely splashed her drink onto a nearby plant. Then, without warning, he tackled the man to the floor, a psychotic smile painted onto his face as he held the cook tight. A small cackle arose and the cook shivered when that sinful tongue traced his skin.
Bow down and show your reverence to our great Conchita,
Everyone who betrays her will pay a heavy price!
The yellow toned butler came up, a forced smile on his face as he presented his Conchita with his tea. With a small jerk forward she grabbed his tie.
"Hey little servant, what do you taste like?"
~~*due to certain circumstances the following meals cannot be shown on record*~~
Slowly the mansion became empty, the servant being devoured. The Conchita looked into the mirror and frowned deeply.
"If I leave any food behind, I'll be punished." With that he looked down at his own right hand, a smile making its way onto his face. "There's still something I haven't eaten."
Fushu tadayo u haitoku no yakata Kanojo no namae wa Banika Konchita Uyama i tata eyo Kurai tsuku se kono yo no subete Hone no sui made shaburi tsukuse Kotoshi ni haitte ju-go nin me no Uyama i tata eyo Kurai tsuku se kono yo no subete Hono no sui made shaburi tsukuse Itsu shika yataka wa monuke no kara ni Kurai tsuku se kono yo no subete Konchita no saigo no aku jiki
Kyo maru hajimaru saigo no bansen
Mi no ke mo yadatsu ryoi no kazu kazu
Hitori ku i asa ru onna no egao
Katsute kono yo no bishoku wo kiwa meta
Sono ha te ni kanojo ga motto metano wa
Kyukyoku ni shite no akujiki
Warera ga idai na Konchita
Kono sekai no shokumotsu wa
Sebe taga anatano tame ni aru
I bukuro niwa mada mada aki ga aru
Ao jiro ku kagaya ku modoku
Mein disshu no supaisu bi saiteki
Ta ri nake reba sara nimo kaburi tsuke
Shita saki o ka ka megu ru shifuku
Bansen wa mada mada wo ware nai
O kake e okku ga ko itte kita
"Soro soro o hima wo mora e masen ke"
Mattaku tuka enu yatsu re bakari ne
Warera ga idai na Konchita
Uragi ri mono niwa
Muku i o u kete itada ki masho
Kyo no menyu wo toku betsu sei nano
Ao jiro ku kagaya kumo hatsu
Odoburu no sarada ni chodo ii
Ta rinake rebe "okawari" sureba ii
Chotto sokono meshitsukai san
Anata wa donna aji ga suru kashira
Nan nimo naishi dare mo mo inai
Sore demo kanojo wa motto me tsudu keta
Kyukyoku ni shite no aku jiki
Konajo wa mizukara no migite wo mite
Soshite sizu kani hoho enda
"Mada taberu nono aru janai"
Shokuzai so kanojo jishin
Soku wo kiwa meta sono karada no
Aji wo shiru moni wa sude ni inai
So ends the tale of the Conchita, his last gruesome meal being himself, and now his story told through song and story alone frightens even the most brave of men....
--=--
Like I said, a bad mood.