Title: dangerous games of mind
Rating: Pg-13 or T(whatever) may get rated R haven't decided yet.
Pairings: B/A, A/Darla,C/D, W/O, F/S, A/X and c9uld be mentioned wes/fred
Timeline:au
Disclaimers: nothing belongs to me unfortunately.everyting belongs to joss.
Spoilers:there is none cause this is au.
Feedback: Please!i have written fics bfore but this is the first one i have written in english.so when you feedback It helps me write.it is like a sunshine to me...
Summary:buffy anne summers...she was never normal.childhood was hard,teenage years was sucked and highschool was hell.she grew up and thought everything changed.but when the enemies from the past came to haunt her she desperetly lose herself in nightmares again.and there was just one person who could help her...
A/n:my first english fic.help me,review pleaseeeee!
A/n-2:italics are thoughts of Buffy
Chapter one:dreamDarkness...
everything is in darkness…
i can't see anything.i can't hear anyting.all i feel is blank...
and my heart..it stops beating.i'm scared.i'm lonely.i'm desperate.everyting hurts.it is like i am already dead but i know,i just wait for them.to come and whip off my heart.again...
They come.i scream.telling them stop.but they don't..they won't...
they whip off my heart,and i tell to myself its time to wake up.when will that stupid alarm ring?
i look at them.they look at me.oh the bitch hasn't tell her line yet.
--are you ready to die buffy?
Okay,confused,here?that wasn't the line.Is this a new dream or the longer version of the old one?anyway,i'm waking up...any minute.
--i am already dead,darla,i say
yeah.whatever.can i wake up now?
--are you sure?
Well this is new.i still haven't woken up.where is that damn clock?!
--yeah?you just whip off my heart.
Stupid bitch.
--that?that doesn't mean anything!,says a tall man who i know very well.he is my worst enemy.
I look at the man and i wanna scream but i can't.
damn it! I wanna wake up.now.immediately.quickly.whatever.just let me wake up.let me-
--what buff?are you speechless?again?,says drucilla coming from the shadows.
Oh,great.that's it!i'm waking up.what is this,the evils who turned buffy's life into a hell show?there was supposed to be just darla.not others.gosh,really hate my nigtmares and when i wake up, i will definetely slam that clock to the wall.that stupid clock and damn alarm!!!!
DAMN IT!
--hu-huh.buffy has some thoughts,says dru crazily.
Of course I ignore her cause i still can't take my eyes from the guy who turned my life into hell many many years ago.and well,she is just so...crazy.
--what happened buff?you scared of something?,says the man i really don't like right now.
--n-n-no..i'm not...sca-scared.i just..
did i say i hate nightmares?
--you are soo beutiful tonight buff,he says looking into my eyes.
fuck!fuck!fuck!i should have woken up.what the hell is going on here?!isn't this just a nightmare or something?i must wake up.now!or i'm gonna die.from my very own fears.
The guy -i really don't wanna say his name- sits in front of me and touches my cheek.
Damn it!Damn you!damn hormones!
--i missed you
yeah.right.do i look really stupid like that?i think i am.i mean, i am in love with you.
No.wait a second.i was in love with you.i'm not in love with you anymore.you are just a guy..from my past..and i'm over you.yeah,right,go team!!!
--did you miss me?
Fuck.
--no
--buff?
Fuckk.fuck.fuck.i hate myself.
--y-yes?
Damn it!fuck!fuck!fuck!what the hell?!i wasn't supposed to say that!!!this is not me!right?DAMN!
--soo buff,you missed me or you missed my body?
--both
did i just say that?!
--say my name
--no
--say my name
--no
--Say it!
--i missed both,angelus
yeah,i am definitely still his slave even in my dreams.damn hormones!
--good girl.you will have your award.but first comes torture.i wanna make you scream.you are going to die,buff.finally.in my hand.tonight.
--i have already died,i say sadly
thanks to you,you stupid son of a bitch.
--well,don't be so sure baby.tonight you are really going to die,he whispers to my ear.
my body starts to shake,everyting becomes darker.and the last thing i see is the look which angelus gives me before he kisses darla.
And of course,that line...
--we have just started girl
and finally i wake up.my heart beats too quickly.i try to convince myself.
You woke up.it was just a dream,you woke up.
My door opens and my only friend comes in.
--hey you already woke up and i was just thinking..
she freezes when she sees my face.
--you look pale.please don't tell me you have seen a nightmare again
--i haven't seen a nightmare again
--don't lie to me,young lady.doyle come on,look at this!
--cordy,please don't,i beg.
doyle comes and looks at me
--holly shit!what's up with you sis?
--what you mean what's up?
--you don't look good
--i do look good.don't i look good?
I turn to cordelia
--you look like a shit!
I glare at her.Why did i trust her anyway?
--thank you cor,how honest you are
--I know,that's me.and uh,you are welcome
sometimes i just wanna kill her but then i remember a very important thing.she is my only real friend and besides, doyle won't like me anymore if i do that.he is my brother and we are talking about the women he loves at all.
--sooo,what did you see this time?,says cordy excitedly
can you say...typical?
--nothing
nothing in my ass
--riiiight.why don't you see nasty dreams just one time,for god's sake?
--cordelia!
--What?I'm right.we should find you someone
--hımm.that's a good idea.
--what,no?you are crazy?!remember the last guy?
--ok.i will check all the hot guys
--hey!,says doyle jealously
--yes hey!,i say
a litte support is support anyway.
--for buffy,she adds
yeah,riiight.
--i said no,i say pouting
--ohh,don't do that,says doyle
--what?,i say innocently
--don't pout
--whatever,she goes,says cordy
god,why i can't affect cordy like doyle?!
--you are not checking out all the hot guys,even for buffy,says doyle walkng beside her
yeah babe,that's my boy!go team!
--hey,macho man!stop there.i do what i want
oh great.i started a fight.again.they are gonna fight,then they are gonna kiss and finally they will find me some guy to date.yuck!
Like spike used to say,bloody hell!my life really sucks...
Oh,and it doesn't even gets better cause i'm already late for work.i hope i have a lot of distruction in the office today cause i will need it later.and now,the only think i need is calling andrew,telling i'm going to be late and have a long shower.therefore,i will forget that nigtmare.
right?
I hope so.
I really really hope so.
--buffy is out tonight and i am choosing the guy,this is the end ,yells cordy
gosh,this is just perfect!my life is hell,even without nightmares...