A/N: So I've been meaning to write this for forever, because right when I heard this song the idea popped into my head. A month or two later Kurt came back to McKinley and I realized I had waited slightly too long. Oops. So this takes place before the 'Born This Way' episode. Just a short little something. Reviews would be greatly appreciated! ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, Wicked, or Idina Menzel's song 'You'd Be Surprised.'
Dave sat on his bed in his room, staring at the laptop sitting on his outstretched legs. He reluctantly typed in and once there, hesitated at the search box. He couldn't bring himself to look it up. Something so...gay. He sighed and typed in 'Wicked' into the search box. He was gay. It was time to look up something he had overheard Kurt talking enthusiastically about with his friends. Not that he used to pay attention to what Kurt talked about.
Videos and videos later Dave hated to admit it, but he decided that Wicked wasn't half bad. From what he gathered the storyline was actually pretty interesting. And despite how much he hated to even think it, the music was fantastic. He had listened to most of the soundtrack, and decided that that Idina Menzel really had a great voice. After listening to 'Defying Gravity', he noticed on the sidebar, among the other related videos, there were more songs by Idina Menzel. He shrugged-he was already so far into this whole gay musical thing, one more video couldn't hurt-and clicked on one at random. Soft music began to play and then Idina began to sing.
"You'd be surprised at all that I've become. You'd be surprised, I've changed while you've been gone. And I learned so much more from you then I could ever say. If you were here, I think that you'd stay."
Dave listened to the lyrics and instantly his thoughts flashed to Kurt. Just thinking about Kurt made him angry with himself. Kurt did things to Dave that he just didn't understand. He made Dave feel insecure, scared, helpless-all the reasons Dave bullied Kurt, to try and stop feeling those things. Now that Kurt was gone, Dave was finally able to think clearly, and admit to himself what had really been going on. Dave was gay. He understood that now. He didn't like it, but he was certainly attempting to get used to it.
"You'd be surprised how far these arms can reach. You'd be surprised there's a promise I can keep. Would you believe that I seldom fall to pieces anymore? If you were here, you'd like what you saw."
Dave wondered about that. He knew he had changed a little. Considering Kurt was the reason Dave had bullied everyone, he had pretty much backed off people at school. Would Kurt really like what he saw?
"You'd be surprised my life is often sweet. You'd be surprised it's you who brings me peace. And for some unearthly reason it takes losing you to see, if you were here, I'd know just what you need."
Kurt needed an apology. Dave knew, however, that Kurt would—no-could probably never forgive what had been done to him. Dave didn't blame him. He slowly moved his pillow, and retrieved an object from under it-the wedding cake topper he had taken from Kurt all those weeks ago. So much had happened since then. It felt like years.
"You'd be surprised I've loved you all along. You'd be surprised I now confess when I am wrong. And I see the world around me in a slightly softer shade. If you were here, you wouldn't walk away."
Dave turned the cake topper over in his hands. He remembered everything about the day he took it from Kurt. The absolute terror in Kurt's eyes. The nice feeling when their hands brushed each other as Dave took the topper. He felt bad, but he was glad in a way, that he had something. Something connecting him to Kurt.
"You'd be surprised if you were here. We'd make up time for all that's disappeared. And I would hold you like I never could. You'd be surprised if you were here. We'd make it right; there'd be no tears. And you'd confide in me and I'd be there. I'd be there."
He wished be could see Kurt again. More then anything. He wondered, if given a chance to talk to Kurt, try and make things right, if Kurt would ever let Dave touch him again. Probably not. He had screwed up that chance when be had kissed Kurt. He had finally snapped and acted impulsively. It was a stupid mistake. And what's worse is the way Kurt reacted. He had seemed horrified. He had brought a hand up to his lips, almost seeming as of he was protecting them. And then he had pushed Dave away. That's what hurt the most, Dave thought, the fact that Kurt had seemed disgusted, repulsed, terrified of him. Dave had completely ruined the chance of ever being able to be with Kurt. Which, he realized much too late, was the cause of absolutely everything that he had done. He had wanted Kurt. It had scared him, so he fought against it. And now there was no fixing it. He wished Kurt could see him now, he though, as a tear rolled down his cheek. Kurt would certainly be surprised.
"You'd be surprised at all that I've become. You'd be surprised."