Hold My Beer
A Stargate SG-1 Fanfic
By: B'Danya
A/N: This came to me while I was watching the Canadian Country Music Awards (not something I usually watch, but what was on the TV). I always thought Pete was kind of a jerk and am a big supporter of Sam/Jack, so this seemed perfect – and plausible. Jack seems the type to do this kind of thing. Hold My Beer is by Aaron Pritchett. I own neither the song nor the show, and am not intending to make any money off of this (but I would love to be able to!)
Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c were sitting in Jack's living room, watching Simpson's reruns. "I can't believe I'm out of beer! How could I forget to buy more beer?" Jack lamented, shaking his head.
"Well, Jack, it has been a little crazy around here lately. You don't have food, it's not that strange that you don't have beer," Daniel suggested. When Jack looked at him like he had sprouted another head, he sighed. "Of course, this is you we're talking about. You always have beer and no groceries."
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Is there no way to rectify the situation?" he asked.
Jack looked over at the clock. "At this time of night, only if we go to a bar or drive pretty far. Personally, I like the bar. It's wing night at O'Malley's," he added cheerfully.
"Maybe we should invite Sam. It's been a while since we had a team night; it could be fun," Daniel suggested.
Jack picked up the phone and pushed one of the speed dial numbers. "Hey Carter, it's me… No, it's not work related… Daniel, Teal'c and I are going to O'Malley's for beer and wings, wanna join us? Hold on, I'll check." Covering the receiver with his hand he looked at Daniel and Teal'c. "Pete is with her. Anyone mind a tag along?" They both gestured that it would be alright. They had all been interested in getting to know Pete a little better – and seeing if he was good enough for their romantically challenged friend. "Yeah, sure! The more the merrier! Wings on me, buy your own booze, okay? We'll see you in twenty."
Sure enough, twenty minutes later they had all met up in the bar, and there was a large bowl of wings on the table. "Sir, I didn't think they usually played country music here?" Sam asked.
"Oh, they do it every once in a while. It's not that bad though – it could be rap!" he quipped, smiling when she smiled.
"You're right. It could be much worse. Feel like dancing, Pete?" she asked. Pete shook his head, content to stay and eat wings. "How about you, Daniel?" she asked.
"Sure… that is, if Pete doesn't mind?" he asked in Pete's direction. Pete looked uncomfortable with the idea, but couldn't say anything with a mouthful of chicken in the way. Before he could respond, Daniel led her to where a dance floor had been set up.
Chicken finally gone, Pete sighed. "We were on a date. It would be nice if she would stay here with me," he commented. His eyes travelled up and down a buxom woman who walked by the table, noticed by both Jack and Teal'c.
"Is it not customary to dance on a date?" Teal'c asked. Although unsure of some local customs, he was certain that if you were dating someone that you shouldn't be ogling every woman who walked by. He was going to add something about it, but Jack interrupted him.
"Oh, you seem to be amusing yourself just fine," Jack drawled. "I mean, Carter's hot. You've been ignoring her and staring at every other woman who walks by. That's no way to treat a lady… or an Air Force Major. I'm not sure if she likes to be called a lady…" he trailed off for a minute, watching Daniel and Carter dance. After taking a long drink of his Guinness he added, "You checking out any girl on two legs certainly isn't going to impress us, and trust me: if she hasn't noticed, she's going to be made aware of it."
Not five minutes after getting there Pete had started gawking at women. Sam had either not noticed or hadn't said anything. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c had already determined that they didn't like him, but said nothing to Sam. It wasn't their decision to make, but one of them (probably Daniel, given their friendship) would bring up Pete's behaviour and the rest of the team's impression of him. She was a big girl and could make her own choices, but as a scientist usually like to make fully informed ones.
Flagging down the waitress, Pete scowled at Jack. "You have no right to be poking your nose into our relationship. What I do is my business, and she will probably hate you forever if you try to tell her not to see me. Besides," he said, paying the waitress for his next beer and slapping her ass, "if you wanted her so bad, you have had seven or eight years to make your move. Maybe you just don't want her to be happy?"
Jack felt like taking a swing at him, and clenched his fist under the table. Teal'c, silent but observant, grabbed his wrist and raised an eyebrow as if to say 'he is not worth the trouble'. Jack sighed and got up from the table. "I'll be back. I've got a song I wanna hear; I'll be at the DJ's booth for a minute." As he left he paid the waitress for another beer, telling her to deliver it to the table.
As Jack left, Sam and Daniel came back. "Where's Jack going?" Daniel asked, confused. "The men's room is the other way."
"Colonel O'Neill is requesting that a song be played," Teal'c informed them. "He said he would be back momentarily."
Sam sat down next to Pete. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" she asked with a smile, sipping a Guinness. She usually didn't drink beer, but did while she was around Jack. For some reason, it just felt normal to do it.
"Nah, just having a chat about… personal boundaries. I don't blame them, though: I would too, if someone were dating my partner!" he added with a grin. A young redhead passed by and Pete's eyes trailed over her body. Daniel watched Sam's eyes flicker from her boyfriend, to the girl, and back again. She took a long swallow of her beer, but said nothing.
"I'm back! How was the dance floor, Carter, Daniel?" he asked, ignoring Pete. He would get his revenge on the man later, he decided. No one treated Carter like that and got away with it. Teams tended to protect their own, and SG-1 was no exception.
Sam smiled, glad to have her mind off of Pete for a moment. "It was great, sir. Some people were teaching Daniel and I to line dance… it's easy, once you get the hang of it."
"Oh, says you!" Daniel exclaimed with a laugh. "Seriously, Sam, how did you do that? You picked it up so easily! I, however, nearly fell on my butt a few… actually, a lot of times," he informed everyone.
Sam bit her lip. "Well, I guess it's the military training. I learned drill by watching people feet and copying what they did. Line dancing just does different steps in time to music," she explained.
The song changed and Jack's eyes lit up. "This is my song! Come dance with me, Carter! Show me some of this military-line dancing moves of yours," he joked. As they started to move to the dance floor, Jack stopped. "Pete, do me a favour: hold this for me, will you?" he asked, thrusting his beer into the stunned man's hand and continuing to the dance floor.
Daniel looked at Teal'c. "That was weird. Why wouldn't he leave it on the table? It's going to get warm in someone's hand," he observed.
"Indeed," Teal'c replied, taking a sip of his ginger ale. Daniel had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing when the lyrics started.
I've been watching you watchin every girl in the bar
Payin no attention to the one on your arm
You're a dog
Man, she's smoking
I've seen your kind before
And you think you're so cool
This country boy's gonna take you to school
Hold out your hand
No man, I ain't jokin
Sam's jaw dropped as she heard the lyrics. "I thought I was the only one who was noticing it. None of you said anything," she told him as they danced.
Jack looked into her eyes. "We didn't think it was right. I was going to have Daniel confront you in the lab tomorrow, but after what he did to the waitress, I figured I'd save him the trouble," he explained.
Looking at him questioningly, she glanced over at Pete, who was watching the two of them with anger in his eyes. "Slapped her ass, didn't he? Not the first time something like that has happened," she revealed. "I just… he didn't die on me, sir! I wanted it to work so that I could break my curse. I thought that if we were together a while and he didn't die, that I could kill some time waiting for the right guy and my curse would be broken," she told him.
And hold my beer
While I kiss your girlfriend
Cause she needs a real man
And not a boy like you-ou
Hold my beer
Yeah, I'm a man on a mission
You don't see what you're missin
But I do, so here
Hold my beer
"So, you're waiting for Mr. Perfect?" he asked with mock seriousness. "You, of all people, should realize that this is a very screwed up universe. No one's perfect."
Sam smiled. "No sir, not waiting. And I don't believe that there is a Mr. Perfect, that's impossible. But I already know who Mr. Perfect-for-Me is, I've just got to wait for the right circumstances to make a move," she replied.
"Really? And just who is the lucky guy? I'll need to interrogate him, you know. I didn't have to with this one, he screwed up before I got the chance!" Jack told her.
She looked at him, blushed, and looked down. "It's complicated, sir. Let's just say that frat regs suck and leave it at that," she told him evasively.
Jack was puzzled. "So it's not Daniel, or Teal'c… come on, Carter, give me a better clue!" he pleaded, going through a list of SGC personnel in his head, discarding them one by one.
Well friend I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to fight
If you wanna later we can take it outside
But for now
Do me a favour
Pete came up and grabbed Sam's arm. "It's time for us to go home, Sam," he told her, trying to pull her away.
Sam grabbed her arm away and glared at him. "I'm having a good time, Pete. I don't want to go home yet," she told him.
As he grabbed her arm again, Jack grabbed his wrist and twisted it. "She said no, Pete. What part of that don't you understand?" With his free hand, Pete took a swing at Jack, who easily ducked it. "Look, buddy, if you want a fight, I'll give you one… but not here and not now. And you'll lose anyway. Just sit down, shut up, and Sam will let you know when she wants to leave. Okay?" he asked. Teal'c had come over when Pete had grabbed Sam, and now led him back to the table.
Sam sighed. "That was awkward," she stated simply. "Thank you, Jack."
"Don't mention it, Carter… wait a second, did you just call me Jack?" he asked. She very seldom called him that, and it was usually saved for occasions where there was threat of impending doom.
"It's Sam. I don't want to be Carter tonight. I just want us to be Sam and Jack tonight, no rank. We're off-duty, what does it matter?" she asked.
He eyed her warily, not quite sure what she was getting at, but sure that it was important. "Sure Sam, we can drop the ranks – just don't shoot me if I slip up. I'm used to calling you Carter, it's a habit," he replied. "So, Sam, who's your special someone? Do I know him?" he asked. Maybe with the ranks dropped it would be easier to get her to tell him.
And hold my beer
While I kiss your girlfriend
Cause she needs a real man
And not a boy like you-ou
Hold my beer
Yeah, I'm a man on a mission
You don't see what you're missin
But I do, so here
Hold my beer
Sam looked at him and blushed. She was so scared of what he would say, but felt that she had to take the chance. It was better to know now than wait forever to find out. "Yes, you know him very well. The first name on his military records is Jonathan," she divulged.
He mentally went through the names of SGC personnel again. "There's no Jonathan… wait… are you saying…?" he asked, trailing off. As she nodded, he grinned.
Well guys like you
You ain't good for nothing, no
Hold on a second
You gotta be good for something
For somethin
I know
Hold my beer
While I kiss your girlfriend
Cause she needs a real man
And not a boy like you-ou
Hold my beer
Yeah, I'm a man on a mission
You don't see what you're missin
But I do, so here
Hold my beer
Figuring that she had followed her gut and took a risk to say it, he should take a risk and let her know how he felt. Sweeping her backwards, almost off of her feet, he gave her the deepest kiss of her life. Cheers, and the crashing of one beer bottle onto the floor, erupted from around them. When he finally released her, she was breathless. "Wow…" she gasped. "Frat regs suck!" she groaned. Now that they both knew how the other felt, it was the only thing keeping them apart. That and… Pete. She had forgotten about Pete while she had been baring her soul to Jack. "I think I have a soon-to-be ex-boyfriend to deal with," she said softly to him.
"What about your curse?" he asked with a crooked smile.
Sam grinned. "Are you kidding? He got shot and survived, that should be it. Besides, when have you known a little thing like death to keep a member of our team down?" she asked with a wink, taking his hand and leading him off the dance floor.
Hold my beer
Hold my beer
Hold my beer
But don't drop it (Hold my beer)
No, seriously man, don't drop it (Hold my beer)
Cause I-I-I just bought it (Hold my beer)
You gonna be hanging around here awhile you wanna watch my jacket? (Hold my beer)
Ah thanks man, I'm gonna be out here dancing with-with your girlfriend (Hold my beer)
Hold my beer
Hold my beer
Hold my beeee-eeeeer
As they neared the table they saw that the bar's manager was busy cleaning broken glass and beer off of the floor. "You dropped my beer? Pete, you're about as useless as they come!" Jack admonished him. He wasn't usually that mean, but it was a just opened bottle of Guinness – it was practically a crime to drop it!
Sam smiled sweetly. "Jack, he was probably just so shocked seeing us… ahem… dance," she stated calmly. "Pete, you had a really good idea on the dance floor, the bit about heading home. I'll tell you what: why don't I head to my house here in town, and you can head to your place in Denver. I saw the way you acted tonight, and I deserve much better than that," she told him calmly.
"But Sam, they kept pulling you away from me," Pete complained. "What was I supposed to do?"
Sam's smile faded. "Don't blame this on them: I saw the way you looked at the girl at the coat check, and we hadn't even seen the guys yet. I'm not blind, and I'm not stupid; don't insult me by treating me like I am. I'm sure there's a girl out there for you somewhere, it's just not me," she said calmly.
Jack clapped his hands. "So, team, anyone want to finish up the Simpson's marathon at my place?" he asked. SG-1 got their coats and headed out, leaving Pete standing there alone, fuming and stunned.