Hey everyone! Lori here! Well, I am a huge supporter of the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, which was co-founded by singer-songwriter Tori Amos. Every title here (including the title of the story) is a song from her album Little Earthquakes. If you haven't listened to it, do, because it give me the chills every time. And I used to work in the County Coroner's Office, so it's pretty hard to freak me out.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show Glee, the characters Blaine, Kurt, Wes, or David, or even the basic idea for this story. Anything you see is based off of a fic by Emma CS Me called "Acting is Just Pretentious, Temporary Suicide" that also gave me the chills while I read it. Seriously, I almost cried.
"Here we go again.
Oh, these little earthquakes.
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces."
Chapter I: Little Earthquakes
Long after Kurt's breathing had evened out, Blaine was still trying to calm his jackrabbit heart. What Kurt had done to him made him want to rage and scream, but he knew that Kurt didn't deserve it. If anything, Blaine deserved it for his stupidity. He sighed and watched his boyfriend sleep peacefully, not knowing about any of the pain he had accidentally caused Blaine. I will never be able to tell Kurt the truth again, Blaine realized as he lied next to his boyfriend. He felt Kurt's hand move in his. The memory of what those hands had just done to him made him want to throw up. He let go of Kurt and moved as far away from the younger boy as possible. Kurt could never know, but Blaine would never forget.
When Kurt woke up the next morning, he felt oddly cold and alone. Propping himself up on one elbow, Kurt saw Blaine curled up in fetal position. He was suddenly struck by how small Blaine was. The older boy had always seemed so much bigger because he acted like he had everything together, but…Blaine actually looked quite fragile. Kurt's mind went over the events of last night and an unbidden shudder ran through his small frame. He hoped he hadn't hurt Blaine too badly. Blaine had said he wanted it, and he hadn't protested last night. Then again, the very nature of their game meant that Blaine's protests would be ignored. And Blaine had protested more than Kurt had expected. The bell rang and Kurt's head snapped to his boyfriend's. Blaine's eyes were open, but they were anywhere but awake and aware. Frowning, Kurt reached out for Blaine's shoulder. The second they made contact, Blaine shrunk further into himself, if that was possible.
"Come on, Blaine," said a confused Kurt. "We'll be late for class." Surely, Blaine would pay attention to that. He was never late.
Blaine sat up sluggishly, however. "You go ahead. I…I'm kind of tired."
Kurt frowned, confusion replaced by a sense of uneasiness. "Is something wrong? Did I—"
"No!" Blaine shook his head vigorously, "absolutely not." As if to prove his point, he jumped off his bed with energy belied the nearly inaudible groan and shaking hand he placed on his side, where Kurt had gripped him so tightly last night, as he ran into the bathroom. Kurt stared at his retreating back. The atmosphere tangibly changed, and Kurt's eyes shifted to a bloody spot on the mattress. There was more blood now; Blaine must have been bleeding for a while, and the pillow looked like a murder victim. There were feathers sticking out and wet spots everywhere.
Blaine must have repeatedly bitten and cried on it, Kurt realized. His eyebrows furrowed as he wondered exactly what he could have done to Blaine last night.
He was startled out of his reverie by Blaine's exiting the bathroom, fully dressed and immaculate besides the exhaustion in his face and stance. "Do you want to freshen up too, before we go to class?" he asked, his usual teasing tone in place putting Kurt at ease.
If Kurt had done something to Blaine, he would have said so. And so Kurt walked forward to kiss his boyfriend, but Blaine backed away. "Is everything okay?" Kurt asked again.
"I, um, I have morning breath," Blaine said quickly before he nearly ran to the door. It wasn't until his hand was on the doorknob that he seemed to collect himself and turn around. "I'll wait for you outside," he said, smiling as usual before walking outside.
Kurt, now completely befuddled, walked into Blaine's bathroom. As he brushed his teeth, he felt odd that Blaine had started off the day trying to avoid him. Something was definitely wrong.
Blaine tried to even out his breathing and heart rate. Kurt was his boyfriend, and they had just had sex. So what if it wasn't exactly what Blaine had expected? Kurt had only been trying to please him. He had no idea that pleasure had been the last thing on Blaine's mind. And if there—
"Warbler Blaine," Wes began walking up to him, followed closely by David. They both stopped short when they saw Blaine's face. "Are you feeling okay? You look terrible," Wes spoke with uncharacteristic concern. He was usually fastidious in grammar and impeccable in manners, always beating around the bush. Directness was one of David's attributes, not his, so the fact that Wes had outright insulted Blaine's appearance meant that Blaine must look absolutely awful.
"Of course," Blaine lied immediately. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You look like you went a couple rounds with Mike Tyson," David said. "Does that guy still wrestle?" he asked Wes suddenly.
"No," Wes answered without looking at David. "He couldn't get hired again after he was arrested for rape; his career is over. And he wasn't a wrestler; he was a boxer."
"What the hell is the difference?" David asked carelessly, fueling Wes' ire.
Blaine was glad the two boys were locked in a heated argument. It kept them from seeing Blaine's face turn green when Wes mentioned a certain four-letter word. Unfortunately, it didn't last forever. When Kurt opened the door behind him, the well-oiled hinges kept Blaine from noticing anyone until Kurt said, "So, are we ready to go?" in a cheerful tone making it clear that he was oblivious to Blaine's flinching and paleness.
"Uh, yeah, sure," Blaine took a few steps before Kurt inserted his hand into the shorter boy's and Blaine had to remind himself that this was Kurt, not some stranger. Of course, if it had been a stranger, Blaine would be able to seek help for this; he wasn't stupid, he knew that he was in a precarious position mentally, but he was content to not regain his footing if it meant not knocking Kurt off-balance.
Wes and David must have been less convinced, because the second Blaine dropped Kurt off at Chemistry, the duo flanked him on his way to English Literature.
"What's going on, dude?" David demanded.
"I don't know what you mean," Blaine said stiffly.
"You have been unusually jumpy this morning," Wes said diplomatically.
Blaine closed his eyes and sighed. Wes and David alone were easy to deal with; just lie to Wes and tell David that revealing the truth would be more disruptive than keeping it a secret. But David always knew when Blaine was lying, and Wes would never be convinced to leave something alone. He almost opened his mouth to tell them the truth, but through the window, he could see into Kurt's science class, and Kurt waving at him happily. Blaine waved back, glad for the innocent smile that he refused to be responsible for wiping off of Kurt's face.
"I had a nightmare," Blaine lied. "Kurt was a balloon, and when he, um, popped, instead of rubber, knives flew out."
Wes and David looked at each other, David rolling his eyes and Wes doing his best to keep from doing the same.
"Well, Warbler Blaine, I hope you lay off the lysergic acid diethylamide," Wes said, putting a hand on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine was surprised as the two walked away, David laughing. He had just successfully lied to David, and Wes had actually made a joke. It was a very dry joke, but a joke nonetheless. Blaine wondered if the world was coming to an end. He decided it didn't matter and thanked the gods that he had been blessed with the ability to lie before he entered his Literature class.
Wes and David waited until they reached their Calculus class to discuss Blaine.
"It must have been Kurt," David said flatly. "I mean, did you see Blaine's face when Kurt joined us? He would've told us if Kurt wasn't there."
"I agree," Wes said grimly. Kurt was a threat to the social order of Dalton, which made him automatically dangerous. "We must watch out for Warbler Blaine and try to keep him from Hummel. Then we will find out the truth."
David and Wes continued discussing rather than paying attention to their math instructor, and when they left class that day, they had a plan.
"Come on, you guys," Blaine said in a playful tone that wavered between whiny and terrified. David's hands were covering his eyes, and he cursed a little when he stubbed his toe into something hard. "Ow!"
"Sit down," David said, moving Blaine around and slowly lowering him onto whatever he had just walked into.
"What's going on?" Blaine asked, confused.
Finally, after hearing the click of the lock behind him, Blaine realized he was in the Warblers' practice room, and practice started right after lunch. Wes and David, as the senior leaders, were excused from class five minutes before the others and were allowed to grab lunch earlier so they could plan for the Warblers. However, Blaine couldn't imagine this to be a good use of their time.
"That's exactly what I want to know, Blaine," David said. "You lied this morning. Even Wes didn't believe it. Well," the older Warbler seemed to reconsider his statement, "I don't think he did."
Blaine sighed and looked at his feet. His secret, which had been eating at him all day, seemed more pressing than ever. But Kurt…he had to protect Kurt. "I don't know why you guys suspect Kurt. I mean, I'm scared for him, not of him," Blaine hoped Kurt would forgive him for the transgression. "He misses the New Directions horribly, and I'm afraid that he'll go back, even though Karofsky's still there."
David sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose to contain his headache. "You're still lying. And what about that bruise on your chin? Don't tell me you're worrying so hard, blood vessels burst underneath your skin."
Blaine bit his lip as he touched the bruise. He was afraid that, if he closed his eyes, he would see Kurt's face as the younger boy gripped his face more than was comfortable, but his dry eyes warned him that he would tear up. "I slipped in the shower this morning," he said, feeling the weakness of his voice.
"Those bruises look like handprints," David pointed out the one that peeked out from above Blaine's collar.
Blaine cursed. He had hoped he had covered those up! "I was rubbing my neck after I hit my chin on the shower wall," he lied quickly. "My head snapped back. I've been sore all day, but I didn't want to say anything about discomfort after one second of clumsiness," he did his best to smile at David.
David continued to glare. "That crap might work on Wes, Blaine, but it sure as hell won't work on me."
Blaine sighed. He didn't know what else to do, his secret felt like a million pounds sitting directly on his heart, weighing it down into his twisted stomach. Finally making a decision, he raised his head to look at David.
"You can't tell Kurt that this happened, okay? You can tell Wes, if he gets on your nerves too much, but nobody else," he said severely, trembling.
David nodded, stomach churning at the look on Blaine's face and the tone of his voice, both of which David had never seen or heard before.
Blaine sighed. "I told Kurt that I had a fantasy after reading one of my mom's romance novels. A r-rape fantasy. So he did…it last night, only I wasn't expecting it and I didn't really want it."
David's mouth dropped open. "Kurt raped you?" he sounded beyond angry.
"He didn't know he was doing it!" Blaine snapped. "He just thought he was making me happy. Except," Blaine gritted his teeth, "now I feel like there was a little earthquake in my head and nothing's ever going to be the same.
"Wow, Blaine, I'm so sorry," David looked unusually…guilty? Blaine's eyes suddenly widened, and he flew from the chair to the doors, unlocking and opening them to find a very wide-eyed, tearful Kurt standing outside, having heard every word.
Oh, dun dun DUN! Now Kurt knows. Lysergic acid diethylamide is the scientific term for the drug commonly known as LSD or acid. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. And if the formatting was a little weird, I apologize. I tend to write what I visualize the characters doing.