Disclaimer- It's all J.K. Rowling's. I only own the angst.
Change
I want to change the world. I see injustice everywhere and I hate it with all my heart and soul. But no one even cares. Worse- some of them laugh at me for it. Okay so maybe the name was awful, but the belief was good! Is it so wrong to want change? Is it such a sin to try and create change?
Not that anymore change is needed now, not after Voldemort's rebirth. I have no idea, can have no idea, what Harry's facing. I fight for the chance to make a difference. Harry doesn't even have the option of choice.
There seems to be no doubt in anyone's mind that Voldemort's final defeat will come from Harry. It seems to be sub-conscience in most of them, but you can see it in their face when they look at him. I'm just afraid that it will destroy my best friend at the same time. What would happen to the world if Harry didn't survive?
The worst part however, is the fact that there are times when I can forget. I've even gone days without worrying. Is this wrong? Is it all right not to think about it? Can I allow so much time to focus on stupid things like homework, and friends, and love?
Well, I hadn't meant to bring that up, but since the cat's out of the bag… I am fifteen. What sort of fifteen-year old girl would I be if I didn't have a crush? Of course, this isn't just some stupid "giggled about it with my friends, sigh when he's not looking at me and blush when he is" sort of thing. This is a crush on my best friend.
Not Harry! Although there are people- those fools who actually believed that ridiculous article- who gossip about that. Just the thought of Harry and I together is enough to make me slightly hysterical. And judging form some of the faces he's made while overhearing certain comments, I'd say he feels pretty much the same way.
No, my crush is on my other best friend- you are allowed more than one. There's something about that skinny little flame-haired beanpole that just makes something constrict in my chest every time I look at him. He's so different from everyone else I know, but also so much the same.
He's kind of my anchor- keeping me from sinking into my perfectionist nature. He makes me live a little. It can also make me angry, he just doesn't understand my ideals and plans. I wonder if he's ever given as much as a minute to thinking about his future. I'd bet he hasn't and I never bet!
Most of the time it doesn't matter though. It is nice to just let go every so often and be a… teenager. There's plenty of time to change the world after this game of chess of the next Hogsmead weekend.
Plus- it's not as if the three of us sit around and do nothing. We've saved Hogwarts at least twice by now, rescued an innocent convict from losing his soul, and even braved a school dance! None of us however, forget the bigger threat that waits for us. We can ignore it- sometimes for days. But we can't forget it. Voldemort isn't something you can forget. Not with one student already dead; not with the whispered rumors of attacks; and not with the haunted look that forever clouds Harry's eyes.
He knows what's going on. He knows and he doesn't tell us. I'm not sure if he can't tell us or if he just won't. All Ron and I can do is be there for him- whenever the shadow brightens enough for him to laugh and joke. And whenever he may need to unburden some of the guilt I know he carries.
How can I change the world, if I can't even help my best friend?
The End