Jesse Larson sat in his car right outside the Tulsa, Oklahoma city limits. He had pulled over when he spotted a Dairy Queen and ordered a hot fudge sundae, although he didn't feel in the least bit hungry. He held it in his hands, watching with glazed eyes as the white, creamy substance melted, swirling with the thick brown sauce until the mixture began to drip off the sides and onto his lap.
He had spotted a motel a couple of miles back, and he considered getting a room there for the night, although it was still early afternoon.
Hadn't he seen an advertisement for the world's largest ball of twine? Well, one couldn't pass up that attraction! If he continued north, instead of east to Tulsa, he'd get there before dinner time.
Jesse shook his head. He didn't need sleep. He didn't in the least bit want to see the world's largest ball of twine.
And he didn't want this stupid sundae.
He saw a waste basket on the opposite side of the Dairy Queen parking lot. He took his time walking there, careful to avoid the stubborn icy spots that remained from an earlier winter storm.
It had taken Jesse three days of travel to find himself in this particular part of the world. He hadn't planned on taking the trip. A part of him wanted to be here, but a part of him wanted to be back home in southern California, in his beautiful home near the beach with his fiance.
Three days had transpired since he left, but it felt like a life time.
He tossed his sundae, slowly making his way back to his old Dodge. He planned on buying a new car soon, but he had just spent a large amount of money on the down payment of his new home. Besides, his old automobile still worked just fine. Financially conservative, it was in his character to use a piece of equipment for the entirety of its life before pursuing a newer model.
Back in the warmth of his car, he thought of Laura Peters, the woman who would marry him, and smiled dreamily. Last week, on Sunday, he drove from Los Angeles to San Francisco where Laura's parents lived and asked for their daughter's hand in marriage.
Mr. Peters had smiled warmly at Jesse before embracing him in a giant bear hug.
"I thought you'd never ask," Mr. Peters said as he clapped his soon-to-be son-in-law on the back. "Of course you can marry my baby. I'll be proud to call you my son."
"Thank you, Mr. Peters, sir," Jesse replied formally. Mr. Peters was a retired marine who now taught math at the local high school. The young man feared that any slacking in formality would be considered a sign of disrespect and his request would be denied.
"Stop this Mr. Peters business," the elder man scoffed. "We're family now. Call me Dad."
"And you'll call Mama, won't you?" Mrs. Peters piped in. "That's what Laura calls me and it would just tickle me if you did the same."
"Yes!" Jesse replied excitedly, exhilarated that everything had gone so well. "Thank you so much, Dad, Mama."
It felt weird saying those words. He had never called anyone those names.
On Wednesday, Jesse signed the papers for the wonderful house on the beach. It had four bedrooms, three stories, two living areas, a formal dining room, two-and-a-half baths, and a wonderful view of the beach. Less than a ten minute walk away was a swimming pool. There were downsides, of course. Such a house didn't come cheap, and the commute to work was longer than he would have liked. But, besides that, it would be the perfect place to raise a family. With the amount of space they had, they wouldn't feel pressured to keep their family small.
On Saturday evening, Jesse picked Laura up from her dorm room on the campus of the University of California, Los Angeles.
"I have a surprise for you," he had said.
"Oh, Jesse!" She had exclaimed. "I hope you didn't spend too much money this time!"
Of course, Laura was only kidding. She thoroughly enjoyed the gifts she received, although she did find the diamond necklaces and gold bracelets a little excessive.
They drove out of the busy city and towards the water.
"Are we going for a picnic on the beach?" Laura asked as they grew closer. "I didn't really dress right."
Jesse looked over to her. She wore a light blue blouse tucked into a pleated navy blue skirt and a pair of penny loafers.
"You look beautiful," he murmured back. He took his hand from the wheel, reaching into his pocket to make sure the little velvet box remained where he had tucked it earlier.
As they navigated through the neighborhood, Jesse smiled when he heard Laura's little exclamations as she saw the homes.
"Oh! How beautiful. The people who live here are very lucky!"
Tucked into amongst the other homes, Jesse found the house without problem. He help Laura out of the car. Her arm hooked to the crook of his elbow, he lead her through the white picket fence to the backyard where they mounted the steps to the back porch.
"Won't the people who live here be mad?" Laura asked as she looked out to the beach. Jesse had timed it just right. The setting sun splayed shades of reds and oranges and pinks across the pristine water.
"I know the guy who owns the place," Jesse replied with a small smile. "He'd said it'd be all right."
"Oh, this is beyond beautiful! The beach is practically the backyard!" Laura exclaimed. "Is the person who lives here a doctor, too?"
"Yes, he is."
"A colleague of yours?"
"You could say that."
"Wow," Laura whispered, enraptured by the sight before her.
Jesse waited a few minutes, watching in silence, his arm around Laura. He wanted her to take it all in, to prolong the moment as long as he could.
"Laura," Jesse began. Suddenly, he felt very nervous. He took a few deep breaths before continuing.
"Laura, my love," he began again. "I brought you here for a reason."
He stared into his love's deep brown eyes and shivered at her beauty.
"It's very pretty," she murmured.
"Not as pretty as you," he replied. "In fact, I've never met a woman as beautiful or smart or strong or articulate or passionate or wonderful as you."
In the waning light, Jesse could see her turn scarlet, although that could have just been a reflection of the sun bouncing off the water.
"I couldn't imagine living my life without you," he continued his monologue. "Being with you has come to define me as a person. You have made me the man I am. I honestly believe I'm the luckiest person alive. You have made me so happy. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I only have to think of you before I begin to feel better. The way you love life, the way you smile, has made me appreciate the world more. When I don't get to see you everyday, it makes me sad. I don't want there to be anymore days like that."
Jesse had rehearsed the words in his head for days, if not weeks. He had been terrified he would mess up, for his speech to jumble out of his mouth in incoherent snippets. But he found his emotion tumbling out of him in perfect succession. Now, he knelt, going down on one knee. He took the little velvet box out of his pocket, holding it up with his left hand, his right hand poised at the top to open it.
"Laura Susan Peters, will you marry me?" He opened the box, sheepishly smiling as he revealed the diamond ring.
To his horror, Laura began to cry.
He watched, saddened and confused, as the tears cascaded down her cheeks. He stood up, instantly wrapping her in a hug.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing," Laura replied, laughing through her tears.
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because I'm happy, silly!"
"So is that a yes!"
She wiped away her tears, looking Jesse straight in the eyes. She always liked his eyes, a beautiful dark brown color. But they weren't just eyes. They were lively, dancing, recklessly laughing eyes. Laura had seen those eyes go from gentle and sympathetic one moment to blazing with anger the next, although she had only witnessed the latter emotion once when a man made a nasty comment to her in a restaurant. If she hadn't pulled him by the arm, her eyes begging for no violence, Laura fully believed that Jesse would have killed that man. Jesse was bigger and stronger than he sometimes realized. Six-feet-two, broad shouldered and muscular, he played football in high school which then led to a scholarship to play ball at UCLA. He didn't particularly enjoy football, but it earned him a free ride at a reputable school. He had to work a little through dentistry school.
"When I first met you," Laura began her own monologue, "it became incredibly apparent to me that you weren't like a lot of other guys. I thought you would be because you're a jock. But you have turned out to be the kindest, sweetest, most respectful man. You're smart and handsome, but you don't let those facts go to your head. You're so strong. You're bigger than anything life has thrown at you. For the past three years, you have been my best friend. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. There's nothing in the this world I would rather do than become Mrs. Jesse Curtis Larson."
With no more words to be said, they embraced. Laura took her soft, gentle hand, feeling the coarseness of Jesse's stubble. The young man placed his hand on top of his fiance's, kissing it.
When they finally separated, Jesse looked into Laura's eyes, a mischievous smile curling his lips up.
"I have a confession to make," Jesse murmured.
"And what's that?" Laura smiled back
"My friend doesn't own this house."
The look of horror on Laura's face made Jesse laugh out loud.
"Why are you laughing?" she asked, her eyes wide. "We have to get out of here before the guy who does live in this house comes out and calls the police for trespassing."
"Relax," Jesse laughed. "No one lives in this house."
"They don't?"
"Well, at least not yet." From his pocket, he took out the key to the house. He unlocked the door, opened it, and flipped on the lights before standing aside to let Laura inside. He had the electricity turned on the day before.
"If you don't like it," Jesse said, walking into the house behind Laura, "I can always sell it back to the real estate agency. Apparently, beach side property is in very high demand."
"Oh, Jesse, what did you do?" Laura muttered, but a smile spread wide across her face told that she didn't really mean her words. "This must have cost a fortune. How did you afford it?"
"I'm selling my grandmother's house. But!" he added hastily before Laura's face could fall, "it's all right. On Tuesday, I'm going to close on a deal. I just need to have everything out of there by Friday and it'll be all right. I already have most of everything packed in boxes."
"Jesse, you didn't have to do that," Laura whispered.
"It's all right. I know it's been your dream to live on the beach. I know how much you dislike living in the city. You told me yourself you feel claustrophobic."
"I know, but..." She trailed off.
"Don't you just love it?" Jesse asked. His face fell a little. He had hoped for a better reaction. "I thought we could get married in the spring, right after you graduate. I thought you could live on campus and finish out the semester before we move in with each other. I think that's what your folks would like, anyway."
"I do live it!" she exclaimed. "More than you would ever know. I just want you to be happy, too."
"Seeing you happy is what makes me happy. And," he shrugged. "I wanted this house too. Would you like to see the rest of it?"
Laura nodded enthusiastically.
"Of course!"
Jesse acted as the tour guide. He showed Laura the downstairs, the large, numerous windows, the large, spacious kitchen. He took pleasure in her little gasps of delight. They climbed the stairs to the second level. There, Laura got to see three of the four bedrooms, each room spacious enough so that it could potentially very comfortably house two children each, if that's what they decided. The third level, the master bedroom, was what Jesse wanted to show Laura the most. With a large walk-in closet and even bigger bathroom, it took up the entire floor. But the best part was the beautiful French doors that led to a balcony overlooking the ocean.
"I think we'll be very happy here," Laura said as she kissed Jesse deeply.
XXX
Jesse shook his head, bringing himself back to reality. He shifted his car into drive, thinking about the events that brought him to Nowhere, Oklahoma. If it hadn't been for the attic, he wouldn't have even known that's where he needed to be.
By last Tuesday evening, Jesse had everything in his grandmother's home packed into boxes except the contents of the attic. The last time he had even ventured to that part of the house, he had been sixteen-years-old. The attic reminded him of Christmas and Thanksgiving, holidays he didn't celebrate after Grandmother died. In her will, the old woman had left everything in her name to Jesse. This included her house and all of its contents, her car (an old Dodge), and $30,000 between her personal savings and life insurance.
Because of football, he had to live on campus while he earned his undergrad. But during the summer, when he didn't have to train, and during dentistry school, he lived in the house. His grandmother died when he was seventeen years old during his senior of high school. He lived in the house, driving the old dodge to school, for four months before he turned eighteen. He didn't know how much money he had coming his way when he signed onto play ball for UCLA. At first, he regretted it, wishing he had more time for his studies. But, in the end, he stuck with it mostly because he had the whole team behind him. It was sort of like having a family. Still, he always had this notion he would have gotten into medical school if it hadn't been for football.
Laura had graciously offered her time and help in an attempt to clear everything out of the attic. Jesse had a hunch that most everything could be tossed, but he wanted to sort through it just in case, to make sure he wasn't going to throw away some valuable family heirloom.
They had gotten through most of everything when all of a sudden Laura asked a peculiar question.
"Who's Margaret?" Laura said, quizzically looking at a large pile of perhaps a dozen cardboard boxes, wholly from where moths had eaten them.
"She was my mother," Jesse replied softly. "I didn't know her things were up here. I thought Grandmother tossed all her things when she died."
"You don't mention her very much," Laura said whimsically as she wiped the dust off. "What was she like?"
"I don't know. I was only a baby when she passed. Grandmother raised me."
Jesse never really talked about his past very much, but now that they were engaged, he had begun to open up more.
"Well, do you want to open them up?" Laura suggested. "There might be something interesting in them."
Jesse agreed. In the first four boxes, they found nothing but moth eaten clothes. Too far gone to even be donated to charity, Jesse tossed them in the garbage pile. In the next box, they found equally tattered books, mostly classics like Dickens and Shakespeare. But they were in pretty bad shape between age, moths, and water damage. They tossed those as well. In the next box they found stuffed animals. Jesse found himself excited at this find. Maybe they could use some of these toys in their own child's nursery! But evidently, these boxes had also come in contact with moisture for the toys had a thick layer of mold on them as well. With wrinkled noses, they had to, regrettably, throw them away. In the next two boxes, they found old notebooks, composition books, primers, report cards, school pictures, and a couple of yearbooks. This box remained in relatively good condition.
"Maybe there's something in here," Jesse muttered as he excitedly began rummage through the contents.
"What are you looking for?" Laura asked.
"Something about my father," Jesse replied. "I never knew him."
The box contained nothing but school things, absolutely no mention of the man who could have fathered him. But he kept the yearbooks just in case, tossing the rest.
In the next box, he hit the jackpot. Amongst various knick knacks sat his mother's diary in mint condition, the ink still dark and highly visible.
"Wow," Jesse murmured under his breath.
Written on the cover was an address in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
"The Diary of Margaret Annabelle Larson 8897 Rock Hill Road Tulsa, Oklahoma," Laura read.
Jesse opened it up, fingering the yellowed pages and began to read to himself, quickly scanning the pages with his eyes. She abbreviated a lot, especially with names, but he found himself catching on quickly. He kept on trying to find a reference to his father. If his identity was going to be revealed, it was going to be through this medium.
"I keep on reading about this guy name Dar," Jesse said to Laura. "It looks like their dating. She mentions him a lot."
"Let me see." Laura took the diary and read for a minute. "I think it's an abbreviation. She writes D-A-R followed by a period. It must be short for something. Darren maybe."
"Or Darius."
"Maybe be Darek?"
"No, that's spelled with two E's, not an A."
"It could be short for Darcy or maybe Darby."
"Darnell."
"Darion."
"Darold."
"I think you made that one up."
"Hey!" Jesse exclaimed. "I think I found something. Listen to this." Jesse began to read aloud from the diary. "Dear Diary, Today is wow... I don't even know how to describe. Well, I'll just say it. I lost my virginity to Dar. this evening. He's been so kind and hasn't taken advantage of me at all. I'm actually the one who suggested it. It hurt a little bit, but it was nice, too."
Jesse looked up to Laura with wide eyes.
"This has got to be him!" he replied excitedly. He hurriedly flipped through the pages, trying to find a mention of another man. "She's with this guy in Tulsa until October of 1940. That's when she moves to California. Laura, I was born the following April!
"Who ever this Dar guy is, he's my dad!"
XXX
Jesse found himself staring at a city where just a moment before had been nothing but empty expanse of road. He had his map out, trying to find Rock Hill Road. It would be a good place to start. Maybe some of the neighbors remembered the Larson family.
Laura said that it seemed important to him to find his dad. Jesse had never known either of his parents. Now that he had an opportunity to find a long lost part of him... Well, that's just not something someone should pass up.
Jesse had started out in a relatively nice part of town. Now, everything seemed run down. And he still hadn't found Rock Hill Road. Night was fast approaching. He stopped at a red light, thinking about what he needed to do. He needed to get a motel room. He would sleep the night, get a good night's rest, then collect himself in the morning with a fresh start. The light turn green and he put his foot on the gas, except the car didn't move. The old Dodge backfired and the hum of the engine ceased.
"Fuck!" Jesse exclaimed.
He got out of the car and kicked one of the front tires. Of course, that did nothing, but it felt good.
"Hey, buddy!"
Jesse looked up. A man had pulled over beside him and rolled down his window.
"Yes?" Jesse asked.
"There's a DX station not a quarter mile up the road. I'd give you a hand, but I've got somewhere to be. God Bless."
"Thanks!" Jesse yelled back.
The man nodded once to Jesse before rolling up his window and driving away. The young man left the old heap in the middle of the road and headed for the gas station. He had walked only a short way when he came across it. He walked in, smelling the strong scent of motor oil and gasoline. A young blond kid, maybe seventeen or eighteen, was behind the counter, putting something on the shelf. The kid shot him a quick look.
"Hey, Dar," he said. "You're off work early. One sec."
Jesse turned around, sure the kid was talking to someone else. But they were the only two people there. The kid came up to the counter a moment later.
"Oh!" the said when he saw Jesse. "I thought you was someone else. What can I do you for?"
"My car stalled just up the road a bit. Maybe you could help me out?"
"Yeah, sure. Lemme just grab my coat."
Suddenly, something clicked in Jesse's mind.
"Did you just call me Dar?" he asked.