"Pete From CVS"
By: Jadent the Maniac
One day, there was a man named Bob, but he's not what this story is about, so you will just have to be all curious about what the hell his deal is. This story is really about a woman named Pete. Yes, that's right, a woman named Pete. She was named after her dad, who worked at a CVS in Chicago and liked to hit on guys named Dave that have brown spiky hair with blond highlights and brown eyes. Even though the guys named Dave were not interested in Pete Sr, he still came onto the men named Dave. But enough about Pete Sr. This story is truly about a woman named Pete.
When Pete (the woman) turned 16, she took up the family business and went to go work at her dad's CVS store. Her favorite things to sell there were wart removers, odor eaters, and, of course, adult diapers. Pete was very strange...
One day, when Pete was 17, a mysterious professor named Membrane came into the CVS store. He went up to Pete and asked where he could find wart removers and odor eaters. Pete and Professor Membrane instantly fell in love. A year later, they were married and a year after that, they had their first child. The baby was a handsome boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Pete loved him very much, so she ate him. Soon, Pete had triplets. She ate them as well. Over the next seven years, Pete and Professor Membrane had twelve hundred children. They had a lot of free time, shall we say. All 1200 of the babies were eaten. Then, another child was born. He had black hair and brown eyes. Shortly after that, yet another baby was born. She had purple hair and brown eyes. The only reason these two survived was that the police arrested Pete before she could eat her two children. While trying to run from the cops, Pete threw her feces at them, which had bits of the eaten children in them. Finally though, the police tackled Pete and threw her in jail. She was sentenced to life in prison for child endangerment and child consumption.
The two that survived were named Dib (the boy) and Gaz (the girl). They lived alone with their father for about 11 years.
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It was exactly eleven years to the day that Dib and Gaz's mom had been thrown in jail and Professor Membrane was being especially anonymous. Dib was again trying to unveil the fact that Zim was an alien and Gaz was, as always, totally loathing her brother and constantly playing on her Game Slave II. This is where our story begins....
Gaz was trying to vanquish the vampire piggies, when Dib came up to her and said,
"Hey, Gaz, do you know where my alien-destroying laser is? I seem to have misplaced it..." Gaz looked up from her video game to look at her brother and stare deeply into his eyes, giving Dib the chills.
"Get the hell away from me, Dib. Zim is NOT an alien. I MUST DESTROY THE VAMPIRE PIGGIES!!! THE GAME SLAVE COMMANDS ME!!!!!" Gaz screamed, as her head made a 360 degree turn on her neck.
"Um, whatever, Gaz....." Dib muttered as he walked out of the room, in search of his laser. He walked into the kitchen, feeling a pang of hunger hit him deep in his stomach. Trying to kill aliens, DID make one hungry, after all.
As he walked into the kitchen, Dib saw his father Professor Membrane sitting glumly at the table.
"Hey, Dad, what's wrong?" Dib asked as he rummaged through the fridge, looking for some cheese. Professor Membrane then held up the toast that was on his plate and said through tears,
"
She used to love toast....with a little sprinkle of children on it...." he trailed off.
"What, Dad?"
"Nothing. BEHOLD! I HAVE MADE TOAST!" the professor then left the room, holding his toast and crying.
Dib, having been totally dumbfounded by how weird his dad was acting, went into the living room, plopped himself down on the couch, and started watching the Scary Monkey Show.
To be continued....
By: Jadent the Maniac
One day, there was a man named Bob, but he's not what this story is about, so you will just have to be all curious about what the hell his deal is. This story is really about a woman named Pete. Yes, that's right, a woman named Pete. She was named after her dad, who worked at a CVS in Chicago and liked to hit on guys named Dave that have brown spiky hair with blond highlights and brown eyes. Even though the guys named Dave were not interested in Pete Sr, he still came onto the men named Dave. But enough about Pete Sr. This story is truly about a woman named Pete.
When Pete (the woman) turned 16, she took up the family business and went to go work at her dad's CVS store. Her favorite things to sell there were wart removers, odor eaters, and, of course, adult diapers. Pete was very strange...
One day, when Pete was 17, a mysterious professor named Membrane came into the CVS store. He went up to Pete and asked where he could find wart removers and odor eaters. Pete and Professor Membrane instantly fell in love. A year later, they were married and a year after that, they had their first child. The baby was a handsome boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Pete loved him very much, so she ate him. Soon, Pete had triplets. She ate them as well. Over the next seven years, Pete and Professor Membrane had twelve hundred children. They had a lot of free time, shall we say. All 1200 of the babies were eaten. Then, another child was born. He had black hair and brown eyes. Shortly after that, yet another baby was born. She had purple hair and brown eyes. The only reason these two survived was that the police arrested Pete before she could eat her two children. While trying to run from the cops, Pete threw her feces at them, which had bits of the eaten children in them. Finally though, the police tackled Pete and threw her in jail. She was sentenced to life in prison for child endangerment and child consumption.
The two that survived were named Dib (the boy) and Gaz (the girl). They lived alone with their father for about 11 years.
********************************************************************************************************
It was exactly eleven years to the day that Dib and Gaz's mom had been thrown in jail and Professor Membrane was being especially anonymous. Dib was again trying to unveil the fact that Zim was an alien and Gaz was, as always, totally loathing her brother and constantly playing on her Game Slave II. This is where our story begins....
Gaz was trying to vanquish the vampire piggies, when Dib came up to her and said,
"Hey, Gaz, do you know where my alien-destroying laser is? I seem to have misplaced it..." Gaz looked up from her video game to look at her brother and stare deeply into his eyes, giving Dib the chills.
"Get the hell away from me, Dib. Zim is NOT an alien. I MUST DESTROY THE VAMPIRE PIGGIES!!! THE GAME SLAVE COMMANDS ME!!!!!" Gaz screamed, as her head made a 360 degree turn on her neck.
"Um, whatever, Gaz....." Dib muttered as he walked out of the room, in search of his laser. He walked into the kitchen, feeling a pang of hunger hit him deep in his stomach. Trying to kill aliens, DID make one hungry, after all.
As he walked into the kitchen, Dib saw his father Professor Membrane sitting glumly at the table.
"Hey, Dad, what's wrong?" Dib asked as he rummaged through the fridge, looking for some cheese. Professor Membrane then held up the toast that was on his plate and said through tears,
"
She used to love toast....with a little sprinkle of children on it...." he trailed off.
"What, Dad?"
"Nothing. BEHOLD! I HAVE MADE TOAST!" the professor then left the room, holding his toast and crying.
Dib, having been totally dumbfounded by how weird his dad was acting, went into the living room, plopped himself down on the couch, and started watching the Scary Monkey Show.
To be continued....