A/N: Yet another Destiel fanfiction. So I wrote a song for my little brother called Cosmic Lullaby and I suppose that this fanfic is in homage for that. So...yeah. I know, the obligatory song fic, but at least it isn't y'know...something awful that doesn't fit either of them. Like...Bieber *shudders*. Right. Yes. And no lyrics. So...yeah, I shall commence writing. -Pyxie xx
There it is. The Milky Way, right there, right in the sky, as though its usually eluding nature is just a test for only those looking for it can find it. And after all of the pain and suffering that Dean has been through, all he can think is that he deserves at least these few moments of bliss. With Sam gone and his surrogate father passed, there's really no one left. And Cas, well, he's missing.
Dean sits on the hood of his baby and takes another swig of beer. Perhaps he's just another pitiful excuse for a human being. Perhaps that's why no one is there for him. Perhaps that's why everyone he cares about ends up lost.
"Don't think that way, Dean."
Dean had been so lost in thought that he hadn't even noticed the soft flutter of wings that usually accompanies the arrival of an angel. And not just any angel. It was Cas. His Cas. Not Castiel. Dean barely glances over.
"I heard you, Dean. I always hear you." Cas continues, his voice sounds world weary and exhausted. This time, Dean looks over. As always, Cas has him fixed with that intense stare that has always driven Dean a little crazy. That look that just gave Dean all the answers without actual verbal affirmation.
"Where you've been?" He asks gruffly, not really caring for the answer. In all honesty, all he cares about is that his best friend is actually alive and well. The number of times that Cas has gone up to Heaven and Dean has wondered if he'd died in battle is astronomical. Dean glances up at the sky and then fixes his gaze on a certain part of the Milky Way. A part that he's always found himself drawn to.
If Castiel had died in battle or if he'd been murdered by angels, what would the chances be of Dean finding out? Astronomical in the infinitesimal sense. And that thought sends a cold shock of ice through Dean's core.
"Here and there." The vague answer is as irritating as the angel himself. Whether that means he is or isn't, Dean isn't sure. Of course there are moments when all Dean wants to do is punch Cas right in the face just to illicit an emotional response out of him. But at different moments, he wants to kiss the living Hell out of him. And other moments, he wants to pour out every deepest darkness of his core just to say it. But he doesn't do any of those things.
Dean scoffs. "Alright. Well, anything special that you've been up to these last couple of months?"
"Not really." Cas sits on Baby next to Dean and fixes his eyes up at the Universe.
"Awesome. So what are you-"
"She sings to you, you know." Cas cuts Dean off without any indication of even acknowledging Dean's words.
"What." The bottle that Dean had brought to his lips falls away, a small drop of beer falling astray down his shirt. But he doesn't notice.
"In the cosmic calendar, Dean, it has been just fourteen seconds since the evolution of humankind. That's how insignificant you are." Dean is ready to retort, but Cas just keeps going. "You are so insignificantly tiny compared to this earth, this solar system, this galaxy, this universe, to the movement of existence." Dean flinches outwardly. Cas doesn't notice. "And yet...she sings to you."
"Who sings to me?"
Castiel turns his head to look Dean right in the eyes. And in the moonlight, in the light of the stars, Cas is beautiful. "The Universe. Every moment of everyday since the dawn of time fourteen billion years ago, she sings. Maybe in the beginning, her song was a bit more aggressive, but now…" He drifts off. "It's a lullaby."
"A cosmic lullaby. Imagine that." Dean takes another swig of his beer then finishes it off.
Cas shakes his head and pulls Dean's attention to him. "No, Dean. It's more than that. She is more than just a cosmos; she is All and Nothing. The Beginning and the End. Life and Death."
"Then why can't I hear it?"
"Because of sonic pollution. If I could just...cancel out everything else around you, then you'd be able to hear it, but…" Cas teters off and drops his eyes. He looks so crestfallen that it takes all of sarcasm out of Dean's tone for a moment and he re-evaluates his approach to Cas. His Cas, the one who risked it all to pull him out of the depths of Hell. Cas, who took over Heaven because he believed that it was corrupt that he could fix it. Cas, who sucked up all the souls in Purgatory to save the Universe. This Angel who has taken the form of a man who sells ad space on AM radio.
"Well...can't you?" Dean ganders, pushing gently to get Cas to smile again. And his attempts are not in futile. Cas raises his head slightly and looks at Dean, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"I can certainly try. If…" Castiel raises his gaze to the stars again. "If you don't mind me invading your personal space."
"I think we're beyond that point now." Dean shrugs. And instantly regrets his decision as Cas leans forwards and presses their foreheads together.
But before he can express his regret, everything around him goes silent. No sounds of cars, or of wind, of insects, of cars in the distance, of the faint buzz of electricity through the telephone wires, of the omnipresent background static, of his own breathing, his own heartbeat, or of the movement of the world. Instead, all of those extraneous sounds of sonic pollution are replaced by an ethereal song. A sound so beautiful, that not even a choir of angels could be singing it. Its echo through his mind reverberates and he instantly grows reverent of his existence.
Time seems to have no meaning for the duration of his listening to the Universe. But it seems all to end too quickly when Cas pulls back. The sounds that have been cancelled are deafening and it takes a few moments for Dean to readjust. When his eyes open, he sees Cas in a completely different light.
"I love you."
Neither of them is sure who says it, or if they've both said it. But the words are out, meant and mutual. It takes a few moments for both of them to absorb the words, words that Dean Winchester would otherwise never say. Words that Castiel thought were obvious and thus didn't need saying. And words that neither of them thought that they would hear.
The sound of earth, life, of Dean, and of Cas dulls back to its usual hum, yet nothing feels usual. Cas' hand slips into Dean's and nothing feels wrong. Slowly, they both lean closer to each other and touch their lips as the Earth touches the sky. It's a careful, calculated motion, the tentative way they kiss. But it's natural to them both and wonderfully blissful.
Dean cards his fingers through Cas' hair and delves a little deeper, exploring each taste bud on his angel's tongue and learning each movement of reciprocation. They slowly pull away, leaving lingering kisses until the moment has ended.
"I feel I should have had you listen to that sooner." Cas comments idly.
"How long have you been pining for me, Cas?" Dean chuckles.
"From the instant I laid hands on you in Hell."
And Dean'll be damned if those aren't the best words he's ever heard in his life. "I think you should have told me that sooner." He shakes his head and presses his face into the crook of Castiel's neck. "Well, better late than never."
"I'll remember that for the next important piece of information I think you should know. Especially if your mulling it over will be accompanied by an existential crisis."
"Did you really think I would have an existential crisis about wanting to do the do with you?" Dean raises an eyebrow and pulls back to look at Cas with curious eyes. "And are you getting snarky with me?"
Cas tilts his head to the side and squints his eyes at Dean. "You are a strange one, Dean Winchester. I know you are secretly more eloquent than you lead on to be, yet your word choice does not reflect that." Cas has avoided both questions with no intention of answering either of them and the look that he gives Dean is an instant 'shut up'.
"Your word choice doesn't reflect that." Dean drags a hand down his face. "You need to stop doing that head thing. It's weird."
"I think you got your terms mixed up." Dean narrows his eyes at Cas. "I think you meant 'endearing'."
"Yeah, well. Same thing." Dean drops his hand down to Cas' and twines their fingers together. "Never change."
"I don't intend to."
A/N: Oh yay! I wrote something! I hope all of you liked it. Please write me a review if you so choose. I'll be putting up a couple more of these ficlets, so yeah. -Pyxie xx