I can feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me, sharing pillows and cold feet.
She can feel my heart, fell asleep to its beat, under blankets and warm sheets.
Mick sat on the couch and watched as Amber came downstairs in her pajamas- her signature pink striped button down shirt and gray leggings. Her face lit up when she saw him, even though she'd just seen him not even ten minutes ago.
"Hey babes," Mick said smiling as she came up to him. She smiled back and hugged him.
"I missed you boo," Amber told him, squeezing him tighter.
"You just saw me ten minutes ago, Ambs!" he laughed. She looked up at him and cocked her head to the side.
"Ten minutes is way too long, Mick." He laughed again, and pulled her in for a kiss. They pulled apart, and Amber looked at Mick sleepily. "I'm tired." He smiled lightly.
"I can tell," he said softly.
"Carry me?" she asked. Mick nodded and picked her up bridal style, carrying to her to his room and laying her down on his bed. He turned off the lights, and climbed into his bed next to Amber. Her blonde hair was strewn out across his pillow, and he ran his fingers through it while he put his head down on the pillow too. Amber put her hand on Mick's chest, right on his heart, feeling the beat of it. The steady rhythm of Mick's heart, and the soothing motion of his fingers through her hair lulled Amber to sleep. Mick felt her shallow breaths on his face as she fell asleep, and he smiled to himself, admiring her beauty.
"I love you boo," Amber barely whispered while drifting out of consciousness.
Mick kissed her forehead lightly and whispered, back, "I love you too babes. I love you too."
If only I could be in that bed again. If only it were me instead of him.
Mara was talking to Mick about something, but he wasn't paying attention. The only thing he could focus on was the giggling coming from the kitchen. His eyes narrowed while he watched Amber and Alfie. Amber threw her head back and laughed, a big, real laugh. Mick remembered when he could make Amber laugh like that. If he was being honest, just Alfie being able to call Amber his, pissed him off. Mick thought back to that night, when Amber was laying next to him in his bed, and they couldn't be close enough unless they were feeling each others heartbeat. It seemed like forever ago to him, even though it was only two or three months ago. Mara was great, yeah, but he just couldn't bring himself to love her. He didn't know. She was just so boring. He knew, that even if he tried his hardest, it'd always be Amber. It always had been. She was so unpredictable and eccentric. But now though, as he watched how genuinely happy she looked with Alfie, he couldn't help but feel so jealous.When Alfie twirled Amber around and around, and then kissed her, Mick could feel his heart s h a t t e r.
Does he watch your favorite movies? Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts, when you've seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music while you dance to 'Purple Rain?'
Does he do all these things, like I used to?
"Oh Mick, can we please, please, please watch The Notebook? It's so cute Mick, please?" Amber begged him. It was a Saturday, and only they were in the house, so they decided to watch movies all day. Mick smiled.
"Sure Ambs. We can watch whatever movies you want. All your favorites today." She smiled one of the biggest smiles he'd ever seen on her. Then she waltzed over to him and sat on his lap.
"I love you, Mick Campbell," she said, and kissed him softly.
"I love you too, Amber Millington," he said back. She smiled, then she jumped up from his lap.
"Okay. So, we'll watch them in order of my least favorite, to my most favorite. We'll start with The Proposal, then we'll watch Titanic, then A Walk to Remember. After that, we'll watch Pretty in Pink, then Mean Girls, and then The Notebook! The Notebook is my ultimate favorite," she said, counting all the movies on her fingers. "And you better remember all those, boo. I might quiz you on all my favorite movies one day." He laughed and grinned at her.
"Don't worry babes. I'll never forget them."
Mick stood in the kitchen, making a sandwich, occasionally glancing up while listening to Alfie and Amber try to decide which movie they should watch.
"Let's watch Night of the Living Dead!" Alfie said enthusiastically. Amber made a digusted look.
"Ew! I hate zombie movies. They're gross! Can we watch The Notebook? Please Alfie?" Amber said, with wide, hopeful eyes. Mick's head flooded with the memory of Amber begging him to watch The Notebook. He, of course, had obliged. Alfie wasn't budging. Alfie hated love stories. He'd much rather watch people getting their guts eaten out during the zombie apocalypse. Amber and Alfie argued over which movie to watch. Then Alfie turned his head toward Mick.
"Mick! Which do you think we should watch? Night of the Living Dead, or The Notebook?" Alfie said, frustrated. Mick didn't even think twice about it.
"The Notebook. It's Amber's favorite movie. Of all time. If you really don't want to watch that, then you could watch another favorite movie of hers. Her second favorite's Mean Girls, then Pretty in Pink. Her fourth favorite's A Walk to Remember, then Titanic, and then The Proposal." Amber looked shocked that he still knew all her favorite movies, and Alfie just sighed. Mick avoided Amber's gaze as he grabbed his sandwich, got lemonade from the fridge, and then walked back to his room. When he walked into his room, his heart was slamming against his chest. The way she looked at him just made him think he was so, so s c r e w e d.
Mick sat on the couch, absentmindedly watching some MTV show. He barely heard the light footsteps behind him. When he heard someone sniffle though, he turned around. When he turned around, he saw Amber, her blonde hair up in a messy ponytail, her pajamas on (even though it was only one o'clock), and her eyes puffy and red. Mick's eyes widened.
"Babes, what's wrong?" he asked, concerned. She shook her head, not wanting to talk about it.
"Can I just... sit with you?" she asked, voice soft. He nodded, and she walked over to him and sat down next to him. She tried not to cry, but then her body started to shake with sobs, and tears started to roll down her cheeks. Mick pulled her up onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her protectively. She put her head on his shoulder, and just cried into it. He rubbed soothing circles into her back. They sat like that for what seemed like hours. Mick didn't mind. He knew that she needed comfort from whatever had happened.
Mick saw Amber walk past his door, to go to Alfie and Jerome's room. When he heard her tentatively knock on their door, he stood up and looked outside of his door. When he saw her, she looked like she had been crying. And not that random crying she did when things didn't go her way. The bad crying. The kind of crying like last time, when he had held her. The last time she cried like that, her brother had been put in a c o m a. He widened his eyes, unsure of what had happened this time. And it pained him that she was going to Alfie for comfort this time, and not him. He heard Alfie call for her to come in, and she walked in, leaving the door open slightly. Mick crept down the hallway and glanced into the room.
"Um. Alfie?" she asked, her voice small.
"Yeah Amber?" Alfie replied, not looking at her. He was still killing zombies on Xbox Live with Jerome.
"Can I talk to you?" she said, starting to sniffle, and shaky breaths coming out of her mouth.
"In a little bit. I'm busy right now. Sorry Ambs," Alfie replied, and then started screaming into his microphone, at the screen, along with Jerome.
"Oh, um, okay," she said, looking down, and turning to walk out. Mick walked back to his room, and looked out again. He saw her walk into the bathroom and lock the door. He put his ear up to the bathroom door, and heard her sobbing and screaming into a towel. How dare he not hold her and let her cry her frustrations and problems and sadness into his shoulder, Mick thought. He felt anger bubble up inside of him like lava in a volcano, and he felt like he was e r u p t i n g.
"Oh, Mick! My favorite part's coming up!" Amber squealed. Mick laughed and continued to watch The Notebook. He knew all of her favorite parts of the movie, and basically ever line in the movie, seeing as though they'd watched it together about five hundred times.
"Oh? When's that?" he asked.
"Right now!" she said, shushing him. "Do you think, in another life, I could've been a bird?" Amber said, along with the movie. Then she looked at him expectantly, for him to say Noah's lines. Mick smiled and stood up with her.
"What do you mean?" he said with Noah.
"Like reincarnation," Amber said, talking with Allie.
Mick shook his head, his smile reaching his eyes. "I don't know."
"I think I could." Then Amber started twirling around, as Allie was on screen. "Caw! Caw!" She stopped to look at him. "Say I'm a bird."
"No. Don't do it," Mick said, just as Noah did.
Amber started flapping her arms up and down, like a bird. "Say I'm a bird!"
"Stop it."
"Say it! Ahh, say it!" Amber squealed, jumping up into his arms.
Mick waited for a second, then smiled and said, "You're a bird."
Amber smiled and said back, "Yeah." Then she kissed him. "Now say you're a bird too."
Mick looked at her, his clear, blue eyes staring into her dark blue gray ones. "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." Then they brought their lips together for another kiss.
Then Amber jumped down, and said, "Another one of my favorite parts is coming up!" Mick just laughed and sat down again.
Alfie groaned as Amber pointed out yet another one of her favorite parts in The Notebook. She hit him.
"This is my favorite, favorite part!" she said.
"You said that about all of your other favorite parts!" Alfie said, putting his head in his hands. Amber started saying her lines along with the movie, and Alfie just looked at her like she grew another head when she said he head to say the lines back. Mick shook his head and popped another grape into his mouth as he walked into the living room, watching Amber reenact the scene. He smiled to himself when she said, "Now say you're a bird too." Alfie squinted his eyes, giving her a look that meant he clearly didn't know the next line.
Mick spoke in perfect unison with Noah when he said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." Then he walked out of the room as Amber's head snapped up, and Alfie turned around to look at him, giving him a death glare. "Another favorite part of hers is coming up next!" he yelled from down the hallway. Mick could just imagine the deathly look Alfie was giving him now. If looks could kill, Mick would be d e a d.
Amber sat on Mick's bed, playing with her iPod. She plugged it into his speakers, and put it on shuffle. The first song that came on was The Great Escape. Mick would never admit it to anyone but Amber, but he actually liked her taste in music. When the chorus came on, they both belted out singing.
"Throw it away, forget yesterday, and we''ll make the great escape! We won't hear a word, they say. They don't know us anyway!" They started laughing, and then danced to the rest of the song. Well. Amber danced. Mick mostly just flailed his arms and legs around and attempted to fist pump because, "people say it's an awesome dance move, Amber!" The next song that came on was Don't Trust Me, then Break Your Little Heart, and then Seventeen Forever. After that, Purple Rain came on. Amber's eyes flashed with excitement. Mick knew this was her favorite song. Amber had told him once that it was her favorite because her mom and dad used to dance to it all the time when she was younger, and then sing it to her and her brother when they were going to sleep. Amber started gliding across the floor in swift movements. Mick sat on the bed, studying her every move. When Amber danced, she was so beautiful.
Alfie and Amber sat at the table, one headphone in each of their ears, listening to Amber's iPod. Mick was in the kitchen talking with Mara and Fabian, and was watching them out of the corners of his eyes. He noticed how every time Amber's face started to light up because one of her favorite songs came on, Alfie shook his head and grabbed her iPod and changed the song, saying that the song that was on was a "dumb song. Don't you have any Avenged Sevenfold or Slipknot or something on here, Amber?" Mick sighed as Mara snapped her fingers in front of his face.
"Mick? Are you even paying attention to me?" Mara asked. Mick rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"Sorry Mara. I'm just tired." She half smiled.
"It's alright Mick. You go get some rest. I'm going to go upstairs and study," Mara said, kissing him on the cheek. I could've guessed you'd go study Mara. This just proves my point of her being too boring! She's real nice and sweet and all, but I just can't have boring in my life all the time, Mick thought to himself. He heard a familiar beat coming softly from where Amber and Alfie were sitting.
"No, leave it on!" Amber said sternly to Alfie, as she turned the volume up on her iPod as loud as it could go. Mick recognized what it was now, and he smiled to himself. It was Purple Rain. Amber danced around in circles, and Alfie looked at her somewhat quizzically.
"What is this?" Alfie asked dramatically. "Come on! Put on some metal!" Mick ignored Alfie as he continued watching Amber, studying her precise moves. He felt his heart beat quicker with every turn of her body. Fabian came up behind him and put an arm around Mick's shoulder.
"Don't," Fabian said. "Just... don't. It'll lead to more drama, and we have enough of that in this house, Mick."
"I love her still," Mick said so quiet, Fabian barely caught it.
"If you love her, let her go," Fabian said softly, and then walked off to find Nina. Mick couldn't though. He couldn't stop watching her. She was like p o i s o n in his veins that he couldn't get out. She always consumed his mind. Every time he tried to get her out of his head, it was like she barged right back in without even asking permission first. Thoughts of blonde hair, blue eyes, pink clothes constantly filled his head, and he was going i n s a n e.
Fourteen months and seven days ago, oh, I know you know,
how we felt about that night. Just your skin against the window.
But we took it slow.
Mick looked at the calender in the kitchen. He counted back the days slowly, and he came to the conclusion that fourteen months and seven days ago was his and Amber's one year anniversary. He closed his eyes as the memories of that very day flooded through him.
"Mick! Hurry up, we're gonna be late," Amber said, looking at her cell phone for the time. Mick ran down the hall towards her and skidded to a stop in front of her.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm here. We can go now! Bye guys!" Mick called as he took Amber's hand and led her outside to the taxi. When they got to the restaurant, Amber gasped. It was one of the nicest, most expensive restaurants around.
"Oh, Mick!" she cried, throwing her arms around him and kissing his cheek. Mick smiled wide.
"Happy anniversary, love," he said, kissing her.
Later that night, as they sat in the taxi going home, Mick glanced over at Amber, admiring her beauty. She noticed him looking at her.
"What?" she said, looking back at him.
"Oh, nothing," Mick replied. "You're just beautiful." He saw a faint rose colored blush creep up her cheeks.
"You mean it?" she asked. Mick nodded, and then unbuckled his seat belt, and slid over so he was sitting next to her.
"Of course I do." He turned toward her and kissed her. She smiled into the kiss and kissed back. He pushed her up again the window and gave her butterfly kisses down her neck. Then he kissed her again, harder this time. She pressed her shoulders up against the fogged window, and then put her hand against it, leaving her small hand print on the glass. Mick slowed down his heavy kisses, and kissed her soft and slow. She rested her head against his shoulder and smiled into it.
It should've been me inside that car. It should've been me instead of him, in the dark.
Alfie and Amber had gone out on a date tonight. Mick didn't really know where, nor did he care. He knew that they were coming back soon, so he was sitting outside in the yard, pretending to be watching the stars. He saw the taxi pull up in front of the house, and he narrowed his eyes as he looked into the taxi window. He saw them, to put it simply, making out. He felt like his vision was going blurry and he felt like he was burning. The dark of the night made him feel like he was suffocating in a cloak of black. As he stood there watching them, he felt himself b r e a k.
I know, love. Well I'm a sucker for that feeling.
Mick would never tell anyone, but he liked being loved. He didn't know why. Ever since his dad has started being so hard on him, and his mom comforted him with her love, he'd started feeling like love was his weakness. All it took was for one person to say I love you, and mean it, and he'd become weak. That's why whenever Mara has said she loved him, he'd brush it off like it was n o t h i n g, and when Amber said it, he felt like he could do a n y t h i n g.
Will he love you like I loved you, will he tell you everyday?
Mick honestly loved Amber with everything he had, even if a lot of people didn't think he did. So, Mick made it a point to tell Amber he loved her everyday. He didn't really know why. Maybe it was because he felt like, if one day, one of them were to be gone, he'd want her to know how much he loved her.
Mick only heard Alfie tell Amber he loved her once. And the thought that Amber wasn't getting the love she deserved made Mick feel so i n d i g n a n t.
Does he make you feel like you're invincible with every word he'll say?
Mick noticed the way Alfie never brought Amber up, and made her feel like she was worth it. He always brought her down. Her pulchritudinous face hardly ever lit up with delight anymore, and it made Mick angry. Mick couldn't help but think that when he was with her, he would always make her feel like she was worth way more than something, and like she astonishing. He wanted to make her feel like she could do anything, whether it be acing a test or taking over the world. Mick missed Amber so damn much. And he was d i c o n s o l a t e.
Can you promise me if this was right? Don't throw it all away.
Can you do all these things? Will you do all these things, like we used to?
Mick stood behind the armchair, looking out the big window in the living room. He heard the soft padding of footsteps towards him. They stopped right behind him, and the smell of Chanel No. 19 wafted towards him. He would know that scent anywhere. Amber. She'd said it was her favorite perfume one day, and that the scent calmed her.
"Hey Ambs," he said softly, not turning away from the window.
"Hi," she said just as quiet.
"Did you... want something?" he asked her. She half smiled.
"Are you gonna turn around?" He froze for a second, and then turned around slowly. She was smiling, but her eyes weren't.
"What's wrong?" he asked, tired. He was tired of her and Alfie, and he was tired of loving her without any love back. He didn't even realize she was talking. "What?"
"I said, it's always been you, Mick," she told him.
"What do you mean?" he replied, confused.
"It was never Alfie. I realize that now. I love you Mick. I always have. And I'm never going to stop." Mick felt like time stopped right then and there.
"Well?" she huffed.
"I... I love you too, Amber. But, what happened with Alfie? I thought you were all happy with him. And I thought you were over me because you didn't care that I was with Mara. And-" Mick rambled, but then Amber cut him off.
"Oh, just shut up and kiss me!" she said, laughing.
"Right." Mick put his hands on both sides of her head and pulled her in for a kiss. She went up on her tiptoes and put her arms around his neck, smiling into the kiss. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead against hers. He whispered, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." Amber's eyes lit up for the first time in months, and so did Mick's.
"Will you love me forever, boo?" she said, grinning.
"Forever and always babes," he said, smiling back at their old pet names the he hadn't heard in forever. Mick pulled his iPod out of his pocket and put on Purple Rain. Amber smiled again.
"Dance with me?" she asked, her eyes questioning.
"Of course. Although, I can't guarantee how good at it I'll be," he said back. She smirked at him.
"It's okay. I'll help you." She grabbed his hands and started waltzing with him, twirling around and around, unaware of anyone else watching them. They really didn't care. They both finally h e a l e d.
Oh, like we used to.
That night, they laid in his bed under his covers, and fell asleep to each others heartbeats, just like they used to. They were finally, finally h o m e.
fin.