Whoa! Hey. Remember me? Well, I'm back (not that I went anywhere to begin with), and more bizarre than ever.
I really have nothing to write, so...
Disclaimer: Utena doesn't belong to me. Too bad.
Booyaka! ~NV22~
***
"Ladies and gentlemen... The Ennnnnds of the Wooooorld!"
Screams reverberated through the stadium as five men ran out on stage and launched into an elaborate dance routine. "And there's just one hour left 'til we ride in my car/and it's gonna go fast and it's gonna go far/why don't you sit next to me and we'll look at the stars/let's go for a ride in the Akio car!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The stadium absolutely vibrated with the combination of screaming and bass, and one of the young men was holding his head in agony as they walked off stage to thunderous applause.
"Dios, I can't take another night of this," Ohtori Akio groaned. "Somebody get me an Advil."
"Get your own damn Advil!" Saionji Kyouichi griped. "Why the hell does the song have to be about your damn car? No one gives a crap about your stupid red car, Akio!"
"Saionji-san, calm down!" Kaoru Miki said placatingly. "It's not Akio-san's fault."
"Miki's right," Kiryuu Touga said, barely concealing his smirk. "Any song that Saionji wrote would be about eggs and frilly yellow aprons."
"Omae o korosu..." Saionji growled, glaring at the red-haired man.
"You're not Heero Yuy, Saionji. Get over it."
"I never wanted to be him!"
"No, you just wanted to get with Relena," Akio said casually, running his hands through his luxurious lavender hair, having calmed down considerably with the intake of several pills.
"That was Touga!"
"Excuse me, I *have* gotten with Relena," Touga said with pride.
"Heh, I've been down that road myself," Akio added, a fond, faraway look on his face.
"Um, minna..?" The fifth and final member of the multi-platinum, super-popular boyband Ends of the World said, struggling desperately to get out of the gigantic baby blue jersey they were wearing. "Little help, please?"
"Ara!" the men cried, jumped up, and immediately began to hoist the padded jersey over their bandmate's head. "Gomen nasai, Juri-san!" Miki cried.
"Augh, my breasts are killing me..." Arisugawa Juri muttered, turning away from the men and removing the layers of masking tape wrapped around her breasts to make her look more like a flat-chested man. "Why, OH WHY, do I have to do this? Couldn't we get Mitsuru-chan or somebody to fill my place?"
"Are you kidding?" Saionji said. "He's in fourth grade!"
"Even *I* have limits about that sort of thing!" Akio cried out, and the others just stared at him in disbelief.
"Besides, Juri," Touga said in his smoothest student council president voice, sneaking a peek as Juri slipped a t-shirt on over her head. "You'll get more girls this way."
"Girls, schmirls!" Juri moaned. "Do you have any idea what it's like to smash two mounds of flesh and muscle into your chest for hours at a time while dancing to elaborately stupid routines that make you bounce naturally? All the while, you have on a huge ass jersey that weighs a ton and is apparently made out of an actual sheep for how hot it is just so you can look more like a man! Augh, my body's gonna hate me for years," she mumbled, reaching up and massaging her own breasts, oblivious to the reactions of the men around her. Touga and Akio were drooling, with Akio's hands outstretched as if to help himself; Miki was blushing furiously at trying to avert his eyes; and Saionji was passed out on the couch, a tissue pressed to his nosebleed and a picture of Anthy crumpled in his hand.
"D'ya need a hand with that?" Akio said, still staring at Juri's chest.
Juri realized where he was looking and removed her hands. "Thanks, but no."
"C'mon..." Akio wheedled. "I'm sure you could use a man's touch..."
"I've long since given up a 'man's touch', Akio-san," Juri said calmly, stealing a hairbrush from Saionji's dressing table and running it through her orange curls.
"Juriiiiii!" Saionji wailed, leaping off the couch and diving for his fellow Student Council member. Juri, not even blinking much less stop brushing, stepped out of the way and Saionji landed on his face.
"OW! Juri, that's MY brush!" he whined, face buried in the carpet. "You're gonna get it all icky and hairy!"
"That's the purpose of a hairbrush, Saionji-san," Miki said with a sweatdrop, helping the older student to his feet.
"I don't want any of her hairs messing with my *PERFECT* gorgeous locks!" Saionji said with a defiant hair-toss.
"Oh, that's *very* runway, Saionji," Touga remarked dryly.
"He's...too sexy for his shirt...too sexy for his shirt...so SEX-Y it HURTS," Akio said.
Juri sweatdropped. "Thank you, Right-Said Fred."
"If Akio imposes the one-hit-wonder curse on us, does that mean we can quit the Student Council?" Saionji asked.
"I wish," Touga, Juri, and Miki all answered silmontaneously.
"There will be NO quitting of the Student Council!" Akio declared dramatically, posing on top of the Akio Car, which had come out of nowhere, his shirt open and flapping in the breeze that had also come out of nowhere. "We will be a sexy, successful boyband with numerous number one hits!" Akio said, fondling himself.
"For the Revolution of the World!"
"Who said that, anyway?" Touga whispered to the others. He was met by three shrugs.
***FIN***
I really have nothing to write, so...
Disclaimer: Utena doesn't belong to me. Too bad.
Booyaka! ~NV22~
***
"Ladies and gentlemen... The Ennnnnds of the Wooooorld!"
Screams reverberated through the stadium as five men ran out on stage and launched into an elaborate dance routine. "And there's just one hour left 'til we ride in my car/and it's gonna go fast and it's gonna go far/why don't you sit next to me and we'll look at the stars/let's go for a ride in the Akio car!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The stadium absolutely vibrated with the combination of screaming and bass, and one of the young men was holding his head in agony as they walked off stage to thunderous applause.
"Dios, I can't take another night of this," Ohtori Akio groaned. "Somebody get me an Advil."
"Get your own damn Advil!" Saionji Kyouichi griped. "Why the hell does the song have to be about your damn car? No one gives a crap about your stupid red car, Akio!"
"Saionji-san, calm down!" Kaoru Miki said placatingly. "It's not Akio-san's fault."
"Miki's right," Kiryuu Touga said, barely concealing his smirk. "Any song that Saionji wrote would be about eggs and frilly yellow aprons."
"Omae o korosu..." Saionji growled, glaring at the red-haired man.
"You're not Heero Yuy, Saionji. Get over it."
"I never wanted to be him!"
"No, you just wanted to get with Relena," Akio said casually, running his hands through his luxurious lavender hair, having calmed down considerably with the intake of several pills.
"That was Touga!"
"Excuse me, I *have* gotten with Relena," Touga said with pride.
"Heh, I've been down that road myself," Akio added, a fond, faraway look on his face.
"Um, minna..?" The fifth and final member of the multi-platinum, super-popular boyband Ends of the World said, struggling desperately to get out of the gigantic baby blue jersey they were wearing. "Little help, please?"
"Ara!" the men cried, jumped up, and immediately began to hoist the padded jersey over their bandmate's head. "Gomen nasai, Juri-san!" Miki cried.
"Augh, my breasts are killing me..." Arisugawa Juri muttered, turning away from the men and removing the layers of masking tape wrapped around her breasts to make her look more like a flat-chested man. "Why, OH WHY, do I have to do this? Couldn't we get Mitsuru-chan or somebody to fill my place?"
"Are you kidding?" Saionji said. "He's in fourth grade!"
"Even *I* have limits about that sort of thing!" Akio cried out, and the others just stared at him in disbelief.
"Besides, Juri," Touga said in his smoothest student council president voice, sneaking a peek as Juri slipped a t-shirt on over her head. "You'll get more girls this way."
"Girls, schmirls!" Juri moaned. "Do you have any idea what it's like to smash two mounds of flesh and muscle into your chest for hours at a time while dancing to elaborately stupid routines that make you bounce naturally? All the while, you have on a huge ass jersey that weighs a ton and is apparently made out of an actual sheep for how hot it is just so you can look more like a man! Augh, my body's gonna hate me for years," she mumbled, reaching up and massaging her own breasts, oblivious to the reactions of the men around her. Touga and Akio were drooling, with Akio's hands outstretched as if to help himself; Miki was blushing furiously at trying to avert his eyes; and Saionji was passed out on the couch, a tissue pressed to his nosebleed and a picture of Anthy crumpled in his hand.
"D'ya need a hand with that?" Akio said, still staring at Juri's chest.
Juri realized where he was looking and removed her hands. "Thanks, but no."
"C'mon..." Akio wheedled. "I'm sure you could use a man's touch..."
"I've long since given up a 'man's touch', Akio-san," Juri said calmly, stealing a hairbrush from Saionji's dressing table and running it through her orange curls.
"Juriiiiii!" Saionji wailed, leaping off the couch and diving for his fellow Student Council member. Juri, not even blinking much less stop brushing, stepped out of the way and Saionji landed on his face.
"OW! Juri, that's MY brush!" he whined, face buried in the carpet. "You're gonna get it all icky and hairy!"
"That's the purpose of a hairbrush, Saionji-san," Miki said with a sweatdrop, helping the older student to his feet.
"I don't want any of her hairs messing with my *PERFECT* gorgeous locks!" Saionji said with a defiant hair-toss.
"Oh, that's *very* runway, Saionji," Touga remarked dryly.
"He's...too sexy for his shirt...too sexy for his shirt...so SEX-Y it HURTS," Akio said.
Juri sweatdropped. "Thank you, Right-Said Fred."
"If Akio imposes the one-hit-wonder curse on us, does that mean we can quit the Student Council?" Saionji asked.
"I wish," Touga, Juri, and Miki all answered silmontaneously.
"There will be NO quitting of the Student Council!" Akio declared dramatically, posing on top of the Akio Car, which had come out of nowhere, his shirt open and flapping in the breeze that had also come out of nowhere. "We will be a sexy, successful boyband with numerous number one hits!" Akio said, fondling himself.
"For the Revolution of the World!"
"Who said that, anyway?" Touga whispered to the others. He was met by three shrugs.
***FIN***