Sorrow Knows My Name
For over a thousand years, Giou Yuki was a man, but in this reincarnation, he's born without his memories, separated from his clan, and a woman. Yuki's first year in high school turns sour when her powers start to awaken.
Update: Here's the re-written Chapter 1.
Old: I love Uraboku so, so much! I love the surplus of sad, funny, and cute moments, character arcs that bled into the main plot, and all the different types of love from siblings, platonic, and romantic! This was created because I want an excuse to reread this series over and over again, and I had some ideas that I don't want to rot in my brain. So, canon divergence, OCs, and alternative universe. Oh yeah, this story starts off as Yuki being a boy all her lives until this life where Yuki is now female.
The picture is created by Bart, posted 5, Jan 2008 on the website flickr called "Hearts of Ice." Without further ado, Uraboku is owned by Odagiri Hotaru-san, and please support the official release!
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Chapter of the Sweet Stargazer Lily
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Story 1
Secrets, Circumstances, Sins
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Just moments before I open my eyes, I can recall only a sliver of my dreams. Soon after I open my eyes, all that remains are the emotions: sadness, melancholy, and heartbreak. For now, I sleep, almost close to breaking the surface of consciousness. Disrupting the unnatural silence was a soft voice layered in worry:
"It isn't over despite this peace. The worst is... yet to come."
The cloudy sky was the color of iolite gemstones and contained none of the the liveliness of the sky I see today. The ground beneath their feet was rotten and cracking, alternating between burnt browns and flawless blacks.
"We've... we've created something irreversible. You know that, right? There can be no atonement for this."
"Why must we atone?"
The younger one sat on a cracked rock. The stale wind blew his hair occasionally, his short and uneven hair like he cut it haphazardly with a knife. He wore a uniform similar to the older man's, but his was far less extravagant. The clothes hung off his thin frame. The button up jacket exposed the thin bones on his chest. In his lap was a sword hidden by its scabbard with unmistakable stains of blood. Dark liquid dripped off the hilt like the rain remnants falling off rooftops. The younger man was pale, his worry evident.
"That's the way the world goes. Silly, isn't it? Regardless of our future being dark, I can't say I regret anything that happened."
The older man looked taken aback. His silver eyes were once shining in anger - not directed to younger, but a much more intangible foe - and now he met the gaze of the other, puzzled. He, too, wore a uniform. A black cloak covered most of it, a hood creating deep shadows hid his face. He stood windward. The breeze rippled through his clothes, resembling a ghostlike effect. As if he wasn't real.
"You don't," the older started uncertainly, "regret it? It's all right if you want to leave me here to rot. There's still time to escape without harm."
"And leave you here after all we've been through? Ha! I'm worried about what can come of this. I assure you it's no good. Yet, I can't care. I don't want to lose what we have. For both of us, it's the first time we've created such a bond. To throw it away and start anew is almost like a sin."
The younger stood up, dropping the sword. He did not care. He kept his eyes locked on the silver ones and he walked closer. He reached out his arms, wrapped them around the man, and held tenaciously to the other's body. The boy only reached the mid of his chest and the other's muscular body seemed it could break the boy. The figure returned the embrace without harming the boy, breathing in his purity.
"I've hurt you," the older man said suddenly. "I have hurt you, I do hurt you, and I will continue to hurt you. Please, just let me remember your scent and please go away."
The boy closed his eyes and listened to the slow, melodic thumps of the older's heart. "Absolutely not. I won't abandon you. I never will. We're both selfish, we'll both keep hurting each other, but for once we won't be alone anymore. We won't live alone or die alone."
"...not this - "
"I'm serious. I need you. Please. I can't be alone anymore. If you want to relieve my sorrows, stay by my side. Nothing will hurt more than you leaving me."
The older man had a hallow look to his eyes as he looked over the boy's head. Then he smiled bitterly, knowing he wouldn't win this dispute. "I... understand. I will not leave you, if that's what you wish. I will help you and your pain. I will never betray you."
In that moment, the boy cried. He did not wail nor wipe away the tears that fell freely. In a small yet strong voice, the boy mumbled, "How can I ever repay you, Luka? Why do I feel like I'm the one who'll hurt you the most?"
"O-Ouch. Huh?"
The morning sunlight pours through the bedroom courtesy of the cracked curtains. On the floor, tangled in her duvet and night gown, is Sakurai Yuki, staring blankly at the ceiling, quietly nursing her aching head. Despite the physical pain, her mind puts her through emotional pain that didn't fit a girl who just woke up. She doesn't have depression nor longing for anything, but her mind recreates without explanation. She's forced to breathe deeply to pacify the emotional turmoil in her head.
I... had a strange dream again, didn't I?
The contents of the dream eludes her, but that is nothing new. She hasn't been able to recall her dreams in years. It wouldn't be such a problem if the dreams didn't hurt so much. Something within her wants to hold onto the dream a bit longer. So why does it always let go?
Unraveling herself from her mess after both pains are more bearable, she prepares for school within her room, keeping quiet as to not wake up sleeping residents within Asahi Orphanage.
Growing up in an orphanage didn't lead to Yuki from becoming something horrible, loathing the fact she was born and being bitter about being parentless. All she knows is that she was found on the doorsteps of the orphanage, almost five years old. Her name, birthday, and a special ring had been wrapped in her stroller. It was a silver ring with her name on it. She wore it everyday and it has become important to her. Oddly enough, she's never had to get the ring re-sized growing up. Unusual, but nearly as unusual as the "things" she sometimes sees.
Ever since she remembers, she's been able to see things invisible to others. Some take the appearance of unusual animals to supernatural beings she can't begin to comprehend, but adults wrote it off as hyper imagination. Yuki grew used to seeing them. Most were harmless to people. Rarely did she see the things hurt someone, but she would always take the pain for someone else.
Following that, stranger things have been happening. For example, sometimes when she gets overwhelmed, some force expels from her. That can't just be explained with a simple doctor's visit. Something is really off about her, but Yuki won't do anything. She wants her normal life and family for as long as possible. For now, she keeps herself in check and tries to masquerade as normal.
But wouldn't that be nice if I were some magical girl in a manga? she thinks jokingly.
In her high school uniform made of tans mixed with darker colors, Yuki walks through the deserted halls of the Orphanage. It's silent without the children running around - she smiles at remembering their faces.
Once her shoes are on and she's out the door, she resumes the walk to high school, thinking about the lingering emotions of her dream.
"Yuki!"
She stops and looks behind her for the familiar, breathless voice.
It's Wakamiya Kanata; a boy with black hair and dark gray eyes. He himself is a freshman in college. The two of them have been friends for ten years, both with their own idiosyncrasies. Yuki had her mysterious ring and Kanata had weird book even he. It is a mystery as to how Yuki captured the heart of a teenager as cold as Kanata, yet that coldness disappears when Yuki is around.
Seeing his face warms Yuki's heart and her mouth smiles automatically. "Good morning, Kanata!"
Kanata catches up, panting, and grins. "Morning, Yuki. Up early today?"
Hearing his voice makes her happier. "I had a really strange dream and woke up earlier than usual. I couldn't go back to sleep, so here I am."
His smile falls. "What was it about?"
"I don't know, but it made me really flustered. I fell out the bed. I haven't done that in years. My head hurts a bit."
Kanata quickly looks around the street and, finding no one, holds Yuki's hand and squeezes. Another hand gently pats the heated area of her head where the wound is. "Are you going to be okay? The dreams and the invisible things..."
That's one more thing the two have in common: the ability to see things that were not there.
He's getting worried. But I'm okay. Really. Yuki smiles. "Maybe I need more sleep, Kanata. Thank you for worrying."
He knows she's hiding something, but he softens his look. "...I've been wondering about those 'notes'... You haven't gotten anymore, have you?"
Images of sickly white paper with glued magazine letters flash through her mind. Each "note" had a variation of Die, Sakurai Yuki, die! Kanata found out about the third one when he discovered the stash she'd been hiding in her room.
Her stomach starts to twist. One hand is still in Kanata's warm hand, so she focuses on that pleasant feeling. "No... no more."
"I bet this is because you're in an orphanage, right? Some people don't take kindly to the less fortunate." His body shivered when he hissed "people."
"Wait, Kanata, I don't think..."
"Yuki, people are liars. They lie, cheat, fall to greed and stupidity, and are completely selfish creatures," Kanata states, voice frigid. "This world needs a reset button." His distant eyes refocuses on Yuki's soft, worried green eyes. "But if this world was reset, won't you be reset, too? You're the only human being I know that gives me hope."
His words are pleasant - not enough to erase Yuki's anxiety. "...your way of thinking makes me sad." When she sees people, she rarely sees the bad in them. In contrast, that's all Kanata sees.
"Don't let me get you depressed before school starts!" He forces an embarrassed smile. "Just count on your boyfriend to be there for you!" He winks. "Unless that's too embarrassing. Then count on your friend to be there!"
Yuki giggles. "I see. I trust you, Kanata."
When Yuki gets close to her school, she and Kanata trade goodbyes as he leaves for college. Normally it'd be impossible for a high schooler and college student to be so close, but the two had met before their ages hit double digits. Yuki saw Kanata's pain, Kanata was intrigued by her, and just before the break before high school, after so much studying, Kanata (awkwardly) confessed his feelings.
Really... there's nothing more humbling than having an important person. My loneliness fades away the moment I'm with him.
Without him, high school is intimidating... but at least she has another friend. Somewhat.
Arriving on campus, Yuki is bombarded by classmates and vaguely familiar faces that tease her and praise her cuteness and naivety. Although they're all friendly and well-intentioned, always complimenting her, she feels distanced from them. Her classmates only see the surface of who she truly is. She's too afraid to prove them wrong for fear they'll all abandon her.
Die, Sakurai Yuki, die!
No one needs you anymore! Go away!
I'll chop off that long hair of yours!
The notes haunt her. She doesn't want the maliciousness of one person to become the shool's default. She's terrified to get close to her classmates, so she smiles and says pleasant things that are genuine, but betray none of her true personality.
In high school, though, there was only one person who liked remaining private and respected her wishes so long as she did the same. That person was Uzuki Tarou, a boy who went to her same junior high school. The only thing she knew about the boy was his green thumb, always planting and gushing about the beauties of nature.
But the problem is that they used to be like this: friends, loyal to each other despite the wall of privacy between them. Since starting high school, Yuki messed up. She learned too much about Uzuki and he rejected her completely. Everyday she works to gain his forgiveness. She doesn't have the strength to find someone new.
So in the school's greenhouse, Yuki sees Uzuki trimming the plants' leaves and she beams. "Uzuki! Good morning!"
The youth with messy, short hair and glasses that reflect the sun's glare bristles and slowly turns Yuki's way, face hard and cold.
What's... with that scary face, Uzuki? thinks Yuki, dread increasing. "I'm sorry," she says automatically. "Did I offend you? I didn't mean to - "
"Go away." His speaks the words quietly, but still, within the silent greenhouse it feels more like a roar.
"But - " Yuki reaches for his hand, to apologize deeply; even though he glares at her and starts pulling away, she grabs his cold hand and -
"No one wants you! Just go away!"
Disorienting scenes flash through Yuki's mind of a woman who hit her child, a boy whose parents divorced and left him with his father, and all of the complex emotions Uzuki Tarou felt at that time.
She has already seen those memories before.
But this... talent - or whatever she has to add to her irregularities - shows her more. She doesn't want this, but she has no say-so in the natter.
She can feel Uzuki's bitterness and hints of loneliness as he walked home one evening. He suddenly felt extreme cold and before he could look around, he felt something entering his body. Uzuki felt intense energy and pressure engulf him. He dropped to his knees and held his head tightly.
Hello, human. A voice whispered inside his head.
The memories stop abruptly. Yuki is back in the present, faint but unharmed. She has no idea what the newer portion means. Uzuki is still Uzuki who's upset with her, so that last bit is irrelevant. Right?
"Stop looking at me like that! You're pitying me, aren't you? You've know something I don't, huh?" Uzuki takes advantage of her distraction and tears away her hand. "Enough! Just leave me alone!" He runs off.
Yuki drops to her knees, head swimming with the remainders of his emotions and outright confusion over every unexplained circumstance in her life. She is normal. This is all... in her head. Maybe she needs more sleep? She hasn't been sleeping too well since studying for junior high exams. That must be the problem.
She looks at the silver ring on her finger, hoping it could provide her hope with its powerful energy. However, the ring's purifying aura feels cloudy. Something big is blocking its innate power for the first time in her life. Whatever it was, it could not be good.
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You hate her, doncha? Admit it.
Uzuki catches his breath in the gardening club room. The ominous voice does not alarm him. "Of course I do. She acts so kind and caring, and that's a big lie! Where was she when I needed her?! How dare she... constantly help others through their worst times and not her friend? If she knows what happened... why didn't she help me?"
Don't just get mad in silence. Do something. Make her feel just as much pain as you did, boy!
Pain? It reminds him of the time Yuki merely touched his shoulder and started crying - for no reason - though Uzuki eventually found that reason. She must've been pitying him. And rather than be kind and try to help him, she just cried and gave him sympathy! She's unreliable in his eyes. Saving all except those who need her the most. How could she remain so happy despite knowing this?
Yuki needs a little pain in her life, Uzuki's sure.
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For the first time in a while, Yuki is more emotionally drained than mentally drained, despite a long day in school. Instead of heading home, she sits on a park bench, rubbing the bridge of her nose and trying to look somewhat casual so she won't attract the attention of worried individuals.
It happened again. One touch and I see his memories. I don't have the right to peek into other's lives, but I can't control it. It's already happened once before and left Uzuki mad at me. All I could do was cry that day from his sorrows, unable to explain myself.
No, I can't explain this ability I have. Why... do I have this ability? Can't I be normal?
This ability has always been apparent, as long as she's been able to see things that cannot be seen. It has done nothing to stop her altruism, but it has implanted fear of getting too close to others. This is also the reason she prefers a comfortable distance with her classmates to avoid the scenario of taking a sneak peek of their histories. Uzuki was the first person who respected her wishes and still wanted to be her friend. It hurts to see how far their camaraderie has fallen.
Her ringing phone ceases her thoughts. It's the Orphanage director, a man who also adores Yuki. As she answers the call, her stomach tightens a bit as she wonders why he's calling at a time like this. "G-Good afternoon!"
"Sorry for not waiting until you got back, but this is urgent." His bluntness makes Yuki more uneasy. "As you know, you're about to be an adult soon, so you'll have to... leave Asahi."
She gulps. Yuki has known that, but hearing it...
"I'd hate to see you go, but it's the rules," he sighs heavily. "I wanted to help you, so I talked to your friend Wakamiya about apartments and jobs. I figure you'd open up more to him than a gruff old guy, huh? Are you okay with this? You have a long time to plan for this. Trust me, you won't be alone."
Yuki covers her eyes with the back of her arm, trying to keep her voice calm. "I'm fine. Thanks for telling me about this early. I'll do my best!"
"All right. Have a good day, Yuki."
"You too."
Without looking, she places the phone in her pocket.
I almost forgot about that. I need to take on a couple part-time jobs to pay for an apartment. I can balance schoolwork with that... probably.
She's feeling... a little... overwhelmed. Her body feels lethargic. She wouldn't mind a quick break...
While still trying to calm herself down, she can hear a quiet ssssss noise somewhere between the rustle of grass and the hiss of a snake. Because she can't place an animal to the sound, she lowers her arm and peeks to her right.
She stares back at two red eyes.
"Ah!"
It's one of those creatures she's seen. Normally it stalks other people, and whenever their eyes met, Yuki quickly looked away. Now the blueish-gray creature - big as a toddler - sits on the bench on all fours, emitting a sickening aura. It peels open its mouth -
- and on instinct from her karate classes, Yuki swats the heavy creature away. It crashes into the ground, cracking it yet leaving no shadow.
It feels real.
They aren't illusions? What are they?
Sure she's been hurt by one before. But she and the adults liked to assume it was all in her mind. She hurt herself. She created these monsters as an excuse. After all, Kanata never suffered this issue.
The strange illusion is back on its feet before Yuki can react. It tenses its muscles, ready to pounce.
Then it shatters into blue shards that fade into nothingness.
She blinks. Once. Twice. "Wait... what? What was that...? How'd it just...?" She sighs helplessly. "I think I'm way too stressed."
"Yuki! Are you okay?"
Some person pulls Yuki into a tight hug. From hair that smells like cream and coconuts to the faint perfume, this is a girl. Why is a stranger hugging her? The stranger girl releases her hold, allowing Yuki to take in her appearance. She has long, thin hair in a strawberry-blonde color, lighter than Yuki's. Her uniform is from a completely different school. Probably a really fancy one. Yuki cannot deny the vague similarities she has with the girl.
- it can't mean anything.
"You're way too stressed out," the stranger huffs. "Those Duras like negative energy the best."
"Those... what? You can see them, too?"
Another stranger walks to the girl's side: a boy with a dispassionate look. A boy with messy, white hair and soft eyes.
The girl glances at the boy, seems content he's there, and continues. "Yes. We can, actually. Bad feelings are very bad. It's okay if you're with someone else, too, but being alone around those guys leads to really bad things."
Who are you?! How can you be able to... Yuki scratches her head. "Oh...? Th-Thanks for telling me..."
The girl smiles. "Since I'm here, I need to tell you something urgent. It's possible for these things to infect and manipulate humans. It's never obvious, at first, to tell when one is possessed. They latch onto the darkness in people's hearts. You must remember that. Okay?"
Yuki decides to remember her words despite feeling faint and light.
"Soon, Yuki, things will get really bad. You have to stay safe during that time. Trust me, there will be someone that will protect you."
"Wait a moment..." Yuki almost asks about the ring's foreboding presence. The girl silences with a finger to the lips.
"You don't get it now, Yuki, but you will!" smiles the girl. "And we'll be there for you, okay? But for now, close your eyes, and open them when the wind blows."
"...but, why?"
"So you'll think this is a dream! So you get one less thing to worry about! Now, go ahead."
At this point, Yuki feels her head is melting and complies. She listens to the sounds of the city and her own heartbeat before a warm wind blows, tickling her face and nose with wavy strands of her hair. She opens her eyes, then shields them from the light. They're gone. She looks around. It hardly seems like the duo and the creature even existed. Maybe she did fall asleep...
...but she did not.
The girl and boy watch Sakurai Yuki from a safe distance, the girl smirking.
"Zess is going to be sooo mad at us for taking his shift," she is saying.
"I don't regret it," is the boy's reply, a slow, soft voice. "Yuki's been under so much pressure all day. I couldn't leave her alone."
The girl flashes the boy her warmest smile. "My brother is so kind! Willing to face grumpy Zess in order to watch over Yuki!" She giggles at his unperturbed confidence. "But seriously... I'm kinda worried if Yuki's strong enough for this battle. Takashiro-sama's planning his first move soon, and I think Yuki has enough to deal with already."
Her brother looks away, thinking.
"Then again," says the sister, "Zess is there. He's always been there for Yuki for - what? - fifteen years now. He knows Yuki best of all! We can trust him. I'm positive Yuki can, too! Why do you think? Huh?" She continues on chattering, talking just to be talking, while her brother listens in silence, aware of her true feelings.
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Yuki stands, dusts off her uniform, and looks back at the area where the beast originated. Maybe I hallucinated that stuff to take my mind off things. As the orphanage director said, he talked to Kanata. He is the go-to guy about apartments considering he lives in one himself. Yuki still remembers how he worked so many jobs, he only got an hour's sleep - during school of all times.
"Why do you work so hard?" Yuki asked her best friend. "This is unnecessarily bad for you. You'll get sick."
"Thanks for worrying," Kanata smiled with dark eyes. "The sooner I leave my parents, the better."
"All this for an apartment?" For Yuki, as an orphan, it hurt to hear terrible words about parents. It threatened to break her ideal of caring, nurturing parental figures, not just adults who had to watch over her. It also hurt to know Kanata was in pain.
"Definitely. Maybe you can see how much of a role model I am!" He grinned, for real.
Yuki figures he would be home by now. She follows the same paths and streets she always takes to reach him. The walk is almost mindless. Finally, she doesn't have to concentrate on anything. Not even as the sky turns into night and the streets grow emptier and emptier. She walks in peace, until her the cry of her phone jolts her.
This is perhaps the most her phone's been used in a day. Stopping, she pulls out her phone. On it is a message from Uzuki:
Are you nearby? I need your help. I'm just on this street...
Uzuki! Is he not mad at me anymore? Thank goodness. She looks in the direction of Kanata's house, then away to Uzuki's location. Shouldn't take too long; she'll see Uzuki first.
Yuki jogs to her friend, almost like a child. Just one less thing to worry about. Then Uzuki, Kanata, and herself could play with the orphanage children like they did one time, when everyone was happy. Perhaps they could go to a karaoke bar - maybe an arcade! Yuki hasn't really done much of those things in her youth. She just never attracted too many people on more personal level.
And yet she and Uzuki are friends despite both agreeing to keep their private lives secret in respect. And yet she so carelessly broke their agreement.
"Ah, Uzuki!"
Yuki catches sight of Uzuki on the middle of an empty crosswalk. Why is he just standing there? Without thinking, she runs out in the middle of street wanting to grab his hand and pull him to safety. She is about to do it in reality had Uzuki not suddenly disappeared.
It's like that monster-thing from earlier! This is reality, though; Uzuki needs her help - where ever he may be -
Yuki can't move. Her feet feel like they're glued to concrete in the middle of the street and she looks around for help. Nobody's looking her way -
Yuki squints as bright light blinds her. The lights belong to a bulky car: one that's able to take a massive hit as well as deliver one.
Her mouth drops open. Stuck to the road, she's about to be hit by a speeding car and no human can save her. Her death clicks into her mind and because she already knows how insignificant her death would be, she remains in place, staring down her destiny -
At the last second, Yuki feels something wrap around her, then the warmth of a person, before feeling herself become free and able to move once more - just as soon as the momentum propelling her away from the car stops.
She hits the street on the other side of the road with a grunt while the car screeches to a halt on the opposite side. Her heart is hammering - she almost died, leaving behind an angry friend, Kanata, the people she loves in the orphanage... her funeral would be small.
Before these thoughts could collapse her, Yuki looks over to her right, to the person who saved her. From the dim light, all she can see is a man with dark hair. She blurts, "Are you okay? I'm s-so sorry - I don't know what happened!"
The man looks over, amused, but Yuki misses his expression for she's bowing in embarrassment. "Forget me. Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine," she responds absentmindedly, bowing. "You saved me. Thank you, sir."
"Woah! D'you see that car? What happened?"
"That was so scary!"
"Huh? There's nobody inside the car?"
"What, really? Lemme see!"
The man scowls at the growing crowd and grabs Yuki's wrist. "Come on - let's go somewhere more quiet."
"Oh, all right." Yuki gets to her feet and follows, wanting to thank this hero some more.
The man leads her to an empty park and lets go. Yuki finally gets a good look at him.
He does have black hair, but it's accompanied by pale skin like that of pearls and silver eyes that feel... not of this world. His expression to his body language reveals nothing of his personality or thoughts.
Looking at him is making me feel nostalgic... But she can't have met him before. What a silly thought.
The man returns her gaze without flinching. "What's wrong? You keep staring at me."
Ah! Staring without saying anything! "Th-Thank you, again! I had no idea you were nearby. I thought I was all alone and was facing death. That was really terrifying..." She ends with a half-hearted laugh, remembering the hyper-vivid scene. She looks away but finds her eyes trailing back to his.
That's so weird! I can't look away from his eyes for long. They're beautiful - obviously - and something within my soul stirs... no, that doesn't make any sense.
Another silence passes by, a mostly comfortable silence. Then the man says, "What made you stop there?"
"Huh" is Yuki's response, mostly jarred by his bluntness.
"You didn't intend to stop there, in the middle of the road, did you? Did someone make you?"
"Oh... not at all! My friend - well, classmate, needed my help and so I rushed over there right away! He was in the middle of the street, so I was going to grab him and pull him to safety, but he, uh, vanished" - it feels silly saying the words - "and I couldn't move! I wasn't frozen in fear... until I saw car coming toward me."
Telling all this to this stranger is surprisingly easy. He feels trustworthy. (Perhaps anyone as heroic as he should be.)
"Uzuki - that's his name - is mad at me. I don't get why, but I have ideas. See, he's a very private person. The only things I know about him is his green thumb and that he really hates carrots. That's because he thought carrots would fix his myopia - nearsightedness, glasses - but myopia can't really be fixed.
"Anyways, one day, I learned something about him that he wasn't ready to tell me about, so I must've offended him by ruining his privacy. I didn't mean to. I didn't even want to, but it happened..."
Surprisingly, the stranger listens intently, not hint of disbelief showing. "What happened?"
And somehow that makes Yuki trust him even more. "Okay, um... I... have... a special ability. I like calling it a liability because I can't control it. Sometimes... I can touch someone and I'd feel the emotions of their past or see parts of their past. And so I saw his past." Just recalling some of his raw emotions dampens her mood. "His past is not pleasant. I wanted to help, but he pushed me away. We're friends, still. But I can't get past his privacy wall. It's funny... that wall was one of mutual agreement. Now it's completely frustrating."
She looks up to see the man silently pondering her words. "You... believe me? You're listening to me? Sorry if that's rude - you're the only person I've talked to about this." She wants to say plenty more words, but she's been rambling too much as of now.
The man arches an eyebrow as if it is unbelievable if he didn't believe her words. "I trust you. I know you're not lying - you have no reason to."
He... trusts me? Thinking the words warms her heart. The man continues with, "Your classmate is blaming you for his own weakness. That much is obvious. Not everyone can handle pain, much less react the same."
"I... didn't think of that."
"I will look into this for you so you don't worry."
"Wh - huh? Oh, no, I can handle this - I think. Please, you've done so much! Like saving my life. Thank you... for that. And your advice, as well." She smiles sincerely.
The stranger continues to find her words amusing. "You don't have to do everything alone. At times it's best to give some pain to someone else and work together."
"Yes, but... why are you going so far to help me? We're strangers. Are you just that altruistic? I can't take advantage of you like that..." she says embarrassedly.
"'Altruistic?' Maybe that's apart of it." Yuki has no idea what the "it" means to the man, though. "One thing is certain: I will help you. Don't see my help as me hurting just to help you. I'll be there for you."
I'll help you... I'll be there for you... you don't have to do everything alone... Yuki stares at her feet, absently rubbing her eyes. Those words are too kind. I think I'm about to cry. "...th-thank you."
The words don't reach the stranger's ears for all he sees is a teenaged girl close to crying. He reaches out to comfort her, nearly taking her hair gently, but after a quick debate he places his hand in his pocket. And Yuki never knows this happened. "Remain safe, Yuki."
She blinks away forming tears. "Really... that's too kind." She expects the man to be right in front of her, but he's gone. All Yuki has is a light breeze blowing hair into her surprised face and - oh, look - a ringing phone. She blinks until she's back in reality. "What... what time is it? It's pretty late. I just want to get back home."
Promising herself she'll talk to Kanata in the morning, Yuki begins her walk home. That was probably the most mystifying stranger she'd ever met. And she completely forgot to ask his name (how did he know her name?). She hopes that they will meet each again soon.
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"It didn't work. Why didn't it work?
Relax. Our time will come soon. On Walpurgis Night, we'll be stronger than ever and we'll make your Yuki suffer, you poor, weak human. The voice snickers as Uzuki collapses into his bed.
"What is that? What's that mean?"
Don't sweat the details, boy. Just keep feeling anger... jealousy... hatred. For now, those emotions make us stronger.
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Even returning home to the Asahi Orphanage did not grant Yuki a break. What a long day today has been, filled to the brim with memories and experiences that could possibly turn someone insane. Yuki pulls off her shoes and takes off her backpack.
A lady notices her at the entrance. "Oh my, you're home so late. Ah, the director wanted to see you - he has wonderful news!"
Yuki gives her a weak smile. "I could use some good news."
Stepping down the quiet hallway leading to the director's office, she can hear voices from behind the door.
"Really, I am quite sorry I arrived here so late."
"It's all right. Coincidentally, I was just talking to Yuki about being prepared to move out."
"She's that old, is she? Nevertheless, thank you for caring for her."
Yuki knocks politely on the director's door before entering. There are two people, both sitting on separate couches, and looking at her in synch. The stranger - the man - has long, long hair that is a perfect shade of strawberry blonde, matching her own shade. He wears thin glasses and has a scar on his cheek that looks aged.
He smiles kindly. "Welcome, Yuki."
But - what - huh - who - he's? - she manages to keep her composure somehow. "Um, how do you know my name...?"
"Yuki! Guess what? This man here is your long lost brother!" The director beams, genuinely happy that there is someone out there that could care for her.
It's pleasant to hear something like that... however, countless of unexplained circumstances and people and frustrating people all in one day! And now this news! She can't smile and pretend to be happy. She needs a break. All of today's events starts to make her head spin and her body get visibly sick.
So, breathlessly, she mumbles, "Can we... talk about this in the morning? I'm going to... faint if I don't rest."
She must look terrible because they comply - not even asking the question she's heard so many times: "What's wrong?" Only, "Please rest, Yuki."
At this moment, Sakurai Yuki has no idea this would be the last time she could rest so easily.
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to be continued...
(Updated 5/15/17)