Beside Myself
By: Lady Virgo
Somewhere in the dark, X dreamed.
Rather, what was originally X slept, his brain yet incomplete and therefore dry of the chemicals that would simulate emotional reactions and string memories in beaded curtains. But that small part inside that had once been Rock- untouched despite his mind having been taken apart and scattered –he dreamed.
He dreamed of pain and betrayal and abandonment. Not all of it had to deal with him. Most was by that man, Dr. Light. Was he still his father? Technically, yes. X was a product of Light's hand but somehow a part of X wouldn't see it like that. The part of X that was solely Rock- tiny, insignificant, ageless.
Perhaps it was wrong for Rock to see it like that. After all, he was told, this was for his own good. But it still hurt bitterly when he thought about it (trapped in this shell gave him many chances to think). His self was tossed away for the sake of this being he resided in. Granted, Rock understood it was because X was so much stronger than himself, he thought it might not be so bad once he was awaken. But, instead, he was set aside. Oh, sometimes the doctor would come in to work on him, but they became sparse occurrences. Instead, he spent his time with the Robot Masters, trying to figure them out while he lay in pieces of himself.
Is this how it feels? Rock wondered. To be considered unimportant? To be told that your existence means something only to be cast aside for a fleeting fancy? Despite that cold thought, Rock knew he would survive- a parasite attached to X. But he would think about the Robot Masters and wonder if they felt the same pain whenever Wily shucked them aside. And he thought about his family- Auto, Beat, Rush, Tango –who didn't even get the chance to be tossed aside. And he thought about Roll. Even if she was still alive, Rock knew she wouldn't live. In this endless sleep, he knew he wouldn't see his family again, no matter how hard he hoped.
That thought was like a metaphorical knife in is his belly- cutting straight and deep. The more he realized this, the more he could feel his arms strain as the blade tore and struggled across his stomach.
He was betrayed and he allowed it. Allowed it not only to himself, but to those he loved, as well. The only thing to do would be (logic twisted around misshapen, incomplete pieces that floated somewhere out of reach) to join them.
He could feel what was left of himself swelling and fraying- dissolving into the seamless emptiness of X's mind (what was created of it). His only thought, the only allusion to his once presence was the feelings that buried deep within X's psyche.
Don't be used. Fight only when you know you have to- only when it's right. Live only for yourself and those you care about. Never let anyone take advantage of them or you.
Somewhere in the dark, the entirety of X dreamed.
Somewhere in the dark, X dreamed.
Rather, what was originally X slept, his brain yet incomplete and therefore dry of the chemicals that would simulate emotional reactions and string memories in beaded curtains. But that small part inside that had once been Rock- untouched despite his mind having been taken apart and scattered –he dreamed.
He dreamed of pain and betrayal and abandonment. Not all of it had to deal with him. Most was by that man, Dr. Light. Was he still his father? Technically, yes. X was a product of Light's hand but somehow a part of X wouldn't see it like that. The part of X that was solely Rock- tiny, insignificant, ageless.
Perhaps it was wrong for Rock to see it like that. After all, he was told, this was for his own good. But it still hurt bitterly when he thought about it (trapped in this shell gave him many chances to think). His self was tossed away for the sake of this being he resided in. Granted, Rock understood it was because X was so much stronger than himself, he thought it might not be so bad once he was awaken. But, instead, he was set aside. Oh, sometimes the doctor would come in to work on him, but they became sparse occurrences. Instead, he spent his time with the Robot Masters, trying to figure them out while he lay in pieces of himself.
Is this how it feels? Rock wondered. To be considered unimportant? To be told that your existence means something only to be cast aside for a fleeting fancy? Despite that cold thought, Rock knew he would survive- a parasite attached to X. But he would think about the Robot Masters and wonder if they felt the same pain whenever Wily shucked them aside. And he thought about his family- Auto, Beat, Rush, Tango –who didn't even get the chance to be tossed aside. And he thought about Roll. Even if she was still alive, Rock knew she wouldn't live. In this endless sleep, he knew he wouldn't see his family again, no matter how hard he hoped.
That thought was like a metaphorical knife in is his belly- cutting straight and deep. The more he realized this, the more he could feel his arms strain as the blade tore and struggled across his stomach.
He was betrayed and he allowed it. Allowed it not only to himself, but to those he loved, as well. The only thing to do would be (logic twisted around misshapen, incomplete pieces that floated somewhere out of reach) to join them.
He could feel what was left of himself swelling and fraying- dissolving into the seamless emptiness of X's mind (what was created of it). His only thought, the only allusion to his once presence was the feelings that buried deep within X's psyche.
Don't be used. Fight only when you know you have to- only when it's right. Live only for yourself and those you care about. Never let anyone take advantage of them or you.
Somewhere in the dark, the entirety of X dreamed.