This fic is for my pal in the forums, Stargatecrazy, who lost a story tagged to Intruder. It might be a little different than the one you remember but I hope you and everyone else all enjoy it! Happy reading.
After Eighteen Days In A Tin Can.
The day had finished just like it started; with her lying on her bed wide awake when she should be sleeping. For the umpteenth time she turned over moving her body to find a cool spot under her covers. By all rights she should have been asleep the second her head hit the pillow after the day she'd had, but after hour upon hour of trying every trick she knew, sleep still evaded her. There was nothing she could do but continue to lie there as once more the images from the day's events flashed through her minds eye.
She was watching what appeared to be an arcade style video game and there were two players, each with their own little ship, blue verses yellow, racing across the screen, vying for the wining place. Except this was no game. It was a poor substitute the display being shown on the monitor, but it represented a deadly battle being fought at that very moment and she and everyone around her desperately needed the outcome to fall in their favour. Her heart leap into her throat as the image flickered before finally giving out, leaving them without any way to track the progress of those who fought. Instead of the flashback ending there like usual, she was surprised that this time a different memory surfaced, taking her back to more than a month ago.
The huge wall mounted screen she had been watching morphed into a smaller less sophisticated television monitor, but the importance of what was being broadcasted had had her equally frightened, if not more so. This time what she saw looked like radar telemetry, one friendly blue dot flying out among the enemy's countless red. She hadn't wanted to stand there completely helpless while the fate of so many people were held in the balance, but what else could she do except be a bystander until it was over then pick up the pieces, if there was even anything left to salvage. This particular memory had caused it's own fair share of sleepless nights and with good cause. Everything could have been lost that day had it not been for something nearing divine intervention and now seeing these memories playing over side by side, she couldn't help but compare what had happened.
The Wraith who were responsible for many, many deaths among her expedition team were attacking them each time. Certainly by different tactics, though still a constant and relentless enemy. Out in the wilds of the Pegasus galaxy, the knowledge of Atlantis and where it was held was the focus of the attack. However victory for the Wraith out here would only be a means to a greater end, providing them with the ability to reach something they coveted more than anything their native lands could offer; Earth was also at risk. Extraordinary efforts were made on several fronts to stave off the enemy, some successful, some not, but their saving grace in both events was provided by only one man, willing to sacrifice his life to save all theirs. And each time he left her to run off and save the day, she had to suppress the selfish notion to make him stay and order someone else to the deed.
It was just a brief impulse but it was the implications of such a thought that sent her reeling. After such a short time knowing him and despite a tremendous effort not to on her part, Elizabeth held John's life above the others. Even with all their differences, they had formed some kind of professional co-dependency while working in Atlantis, that had crept out without their knowing and now affected the personal side of their relationship too. The fact was reinforced when they were back on Earth. With the threat of having him replaced or reassigned altogether, she immediately jumped to the defensive, reminding General Landry and a room full of Air Force officials that she had the backing of the President. Turning over again burying her face in her pillows, she groaned inwardly and prayed it didn't look as bad as she now believed it did. The last thing she could remember that night before finally falling asleep, were the words Hermiod spoke to her as she waited for news while John was in the F- 302, racing around in a dog fight.
"I believe it has already been too long."
John had lived of course, but she couldn't help thinking that those words now applied to her feelings when John was concerned. Had it been too long to reign in these feelings. Was she too late to control how much she cared for this man?
John was wide awake. No surprise considering how much of an adrenalin rush chasing that rogue F-302 had given him. But that wasn't all that kept him from sleeping. When the reboot of the Daedalus' computers had been completed and the virus wiped, he had docked the little ship in the bay without any further upset - much to Rodney's great relief - but he was surprised to see that Elizabeth had come down to meet them. He hadn't expected her to do that, but still it was nice to have a welcoming party when you save the day, even if it was just one person. She had waited, less than patiently, outside the bay and greeted them in the hallway, then looked at the arm Rodney had offered for inspection. After letting the scared scientist have his panicked rant about radiation exposure and contracting skin cancer, she had calmed him with a hand on his shoulder and sent him off to find Carson. Before following Rodney she had turned back to look at John and told him in a quiet voice, that a check up wouldn't be a bad thing for either of them.
She had offered him the smallest of smiles, but her eyes told him she was scared. He hadn't seen her look like that since he had fired that shot at Kolya while he backed off towards the open gate as he held her hostage. He had wanted to ask what was the matter but she was away before he could get the words out.
It was that look that was keeping him up. There hadn't been another chance to discreetly approach her during the rest of the day and now as he lay there it was all he could see. He tried putting it out of his mind, reassuring himself that if something really bad had occurred while he and Rodney were out in the 302, somebody would have told him, but nothing had come up.
Still though his mind drifted back to the moments surrounding him shooting Kolya. The Commander had released Elizabeth as the impact of the shot made him stagger back and fall through the event horizon. And thank God for that, there was no way he would have made it through the gate after them if she had fallen with him and he wasn't sure if he would be able to get the gate dialed again in time to follow her before the Genii knew what was happening. That situation just didn't bare thinking about yet it was something that found its way into his head when he least expected it. He would sometimes have to remind himself that it hadn't gone down like that, that she was safe again, extremely shaken up, but she was still there.
She had landed on the floor with a bump and wild eyes had sought out his, desperate for some reassurance. She wasn't the only one who needed it. Up until less than an hour before, he had been led to believe she was dead and now sitting there very much alive all he could do was offer his hand and pull her away from the bodies of enemy men lying on the floor. Her hand had been small and felt cold wrapped up in his, but she had gripped him with such fierceness he was a little taken aback at first then tightened his hold as they ran up the stairs. Upon meeting with the others in the control gallery they had separated although prolonged contact would not have been objectionable to either of them. Thrown back into yet another crisis soon had them otherwise occupied, leaving them with precious little time to process what had happened, now however, it seemed like John would have the whole night to think about this and other incidents like it.
An hour later and no closer to finding any peace John heaved himself up onto his feet in his small quarters aboard the Daedalus and went in search for a set of clean clothes. Closing the door behind him he left his room and started aimlessly rambling around the empty corridors changing decks every now and then hoping for a change in scenery but it all looked the same. Eventually he found himself walking towards the small commissary as his morning coffee cravings started to kick in, realizing that this was the same time he had come across Elizabeth yesterday morning. His step quickened at the chance of meeting her again and being able to ask her why she had been so troubled, but he was brought up short when he got to the room and found it without her presence. Disappointed at her absence he poured himself a cup of coffee and a second one for her, expecting her to join him any minute now. Seating himself he checked his wrist watch, reading 0600, by Atlantis Standard Time as they'd come to call it, surely she's be up by now, the same craving for caffeine bringing her here.
After ten minutes John was starting to wonder whether there was somewhere else she could have gone to get her coffee, but it made sense that she would come here, it was the closest place to their quarters and one of the quietest too. He checked his watch again, 0616. His coffee was finished and the full cup that sat opposite him remained untouched. Unable to resist the urge to move about, he began to crane his neck to catch a glimpse of the corridor outside every few minutes, but still there was no sign of her. It was only now that John considered that maybe she wouldn't be coming. One last glance at his watch told him it was now 0628. Giving the offending time piece a flick that ended up hurting his finger more than anything else, he stood and cleared the table. Chucking out the stale coffee that was meant for Elizabeth, he rinsed out both cups and left them with the other used dishes. Walking back out the small commissary he felt stupid for expecting Elizabeth to come and meet him, it wasn't like they had pre-arranged it or anything. So why did he feel like he had been stood up?
Elizabeth stood for a minute on the East Pier just breathing in her first bit of fresh air in nearly three weeks. Stepping out onto the familiar Lantean structure immediately made her feel better, she was home at last, for now all the troubles of Earth and the Daedalus were blown away in the salty sea air. The time spent getting back to Atlantis had seemed so much longer than eighteen days and she wasn't quite ready to step back indoors yet, so she took a moment just looking out over the alien city and the new arrivals filtering out of the huge ship, unloading its cargo in a practiced, organized way. At the furthest end of the pier she could feel his eyes cast over her, even though she hadn't seen him, she knew he was there milling about, giving welcomes coupled with instructions She knew they had been avoiding each other by some unspoken mutual agreement, although she doubted either of them knew why or how they'd break the ice again now they were free from the confines of the ship, but they'd have to figure it out sooner or later. They had a city to run.
John didn't have to watch her to know where she was, but still he couldn't help stealing a glance in her direction every now and again. Now they were back he didn't know if he should go say something to her or just wait and hope they'd fall back into their comfortable rhythm after a while. Looking around at the men and women bringing out the various crates and sorting them according to where they would be taken, he figured they had everything under control and all he'd do is get in the way if he stayed, so decision made he turned making his way to where he last saw Elizabeth. He couldn't see her anymore, with just about the entire compliment on board the Daedalus out on the pier seeing to their duties, but through the sea of people he knew she was still there. Getting closer to where he'd last seen her, the crowd parted and her saw her slight form just as she started to move towards the doors that would lead her inside. As discretely as he could he picked up his pace determined to catch her up.
He'd had to flat out run the last little bit abandoning the casual front he was going for as the sliding doors opened to admit her. Hearing his heavy foot falls Elizabeth stopped to wait but she didn't say a word as she watched him bound over. He noticed she couldn't completely hide the small curve at the corner of her mouth when he'd dived forward to jump through the doors before they closed. It wasn't the best way he could have thought to broach her, but it worked all the same.
Cracking her a smile he said, "Good to be back isn't it?"
"Yes Colonel, it is." Not able to resist any longer she gave him a small smile of her own then continued walking, he falling into step next to her. She used his rank on purpose knowing hearing it spoken aloud was still giving him a buzz.
"So..." He started not quite sure what he was going to say next now they were alone and speaking again. He decided to go with something neutral; work. "You know, I actually finished up all those loose end reports while we were on the road, for once you're not going to have to chase me up for them." It was pretty lame, but at least it was a start.
"Really? I'm impressed Colonel. I don't know what I'm going to do with all the spare time that'll give me."
John's face made an attempt to look hurt, but only managed a pathetic pout that made her want to laugh.
"Well at least with them out of the way I've got a clean slate and my team can get straight back out there and start looking for Ford. Who knows what kind of trouble he's gotten himself into by now."
Elizabeth stiffened at the mention of the lost Lieutenant and the terrible predicament he found himself in. She knew he would be out there knowingly placing himself in dangers way, trying to find enough of the Wraith enzyme to stay alive. She tried to take some solace knowing the very thing that was making him crazy would probably give him the edge he needed to stay alive out there. However anyone who tracked him would surely find themselves encountering the enemy, but without Ford's enhanced ability to withstand them. John was so determined he would find Ford, but Elizabeth feared something else would find John first. Once more that urge to tell him to send someone else to go looking for him gave rise, bringing her anger too and she was unable to stop herself before saying, "There you go, always so keen to go out and get yourself killed."
Her words shocked them both and made them stop. John rounded on her in the quiet of the deserted hallway. "Excuse me?"
In a manner that was more suited to the ways of Rodney McKay she found herself getting even angrier at his demand that she justify herself. Elizabeth turned and faced him as well, folding her arms over her chest, "Well we're not back five minutes and already you want to gear up and head out into the first fight you can find."
"The first... The first fight?" He stammered, not quite believing what she was saying. "Are you kidding me?"
"Think about it John, when was the last time you and your team went out, without getting a weapon pointed at you?"
John had to actually stand and think, but ultimately came up empty. Things had a tendency to go bad for him and his team, but it wasn't like they did it on purpose. This was a really unfriendly neighbourhood. "That is not the point. Are you suggesting that I just forget about Ford? Give up on finding him? Because if you are, you're not the person I thought you were."
That stunned her into silence for a moment, draining the anger from her. How had she gotten herself into such a mess? Sighing she unfolded her arms, bowing her head a little as she spoke to him. "No John, thats not what I meant--" Voices coming from down the hall prevented her from going any further.
They both looked back the way they had come to see Carson and Rodney coming up behind them. Elizabeth quickly put on a small smile to greet them.
Carson couldn't help the look he gave her that said he was wondering what they were doing standing about in the middle of a hallway half way between the pier and the city. He and Rodney had obviously just interrupted something here, not that you'd know it to look at Elizabeth, but John's face gave the game away.
Carson was a man of science and dedicated himself to the practice of medicine, but one should never underestimate the human condition and that was why he found himself studying the individuals under his care. A better understanding into the ways they behaved often let him intervene and provide care for their health before they did themselves a damage. Sometimes it was just common sense he prescribed; get a decent night's sleep or a proper meal, but these two were in a whole other league.
John and Elizabeth had every other soul in this city to consider before they would think of themselves. And yes that made them excellent leaders, but it put them on the fast track to an early grave with the stress that put them under, that was why he kept a closer eye on the two of them. However, his observations made him privy to the growing attraction between them, even if they didn't know it yet. While he personally thought they would be good for each other if they could find a way to make it work, he also knew how much these feelings cost them. Their relationship had a perfect positive correlation between how close they got and how much they would be able to hurt each other.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence where Elizabeth was able to get her wits about her again and offered a meek, "We heard you coming and thought we'd wait for you."
"Yeah, thought it would be nice if we could all go back to the city together," John added as an after thought.
Rodney bought it and promptly continued on his way to the nearest transporter. "Okay, well come on then. Now we're back I've got plenty of work to be getting on with."
Carson knew Elizabeth and John had lied, but none of them were willing to go into it. Something was definitely going on with them and by the look of things, he'd need to keep an even closer eye on them than before.
Elizabeth wasn't in her office for more than a couple of hours before the need to escape out into the open air came upon her again. It was to be expected she guessed after the long trip on the Daedalus and would take her a few days to acclimatise to the change of surroundings. Saving her work and shutting down the laptop, for just this once she was going to call it a day and have an early night, that was, after she said good night to her city.
The doors to the balcony slid open and the smell of the ocean air that greeted her was like an old friend. What she had told John was true, being able to hear the sound of the water really did help her sleep. Probably because if she could hear it, the city was at peace and she knew she could relax.
She stepped out and the doors hissed as they closed behind her, immediately she knew she wasn't alone out here and thought she would be able to head back in before she was noticed.
"So we're going to avoid each other again are we?" Came his voice from beside the railing. "Coz its going to get real old, real quick if thats the solution to all our problems."
There it was again, her anger rose and gathered in her chest. Elizabeth stared out at his silhouette, hating that he could see her while he was hiding in the shadows. "I wasn't avoiding you."
"So you just changed your mind about coming out here?" He knew he was proving her right. He was picking a fight at the first opportunity, but their conversation had had him simmering all afternoon.
Still John didn't move forcing her to come closer in order to see him. Okay, he had called her number on that one, she had intended to avoid him, but just for the rest of the day, tomorrow would be another story. She wasn't about to let him have the last word on this though. "You're the one thats out here sulking in the dark John, it seems to me that you're the one with a problem."
That shook him up a bit and she couldn't help the moment of guilty pleasure at getting a reaction out of him like this. Pressing each others buttons was getting them onto dangerous territory, but this had been a long time coming.
Giving up the place where he was casually leaning on the railing he stalked a couple of paces closer to her. "What is the matter with you?"
"I could ask you the same thing," she said backing off a step, a small thrill made her start to tingle at the base of her spine.
"What?! Elizabeth, you are acting bizarre! Is there something wrong?"
"This coming from the guy with a death wish!" She continued to back away from him as he furthered his advance and realized she had nowhere left to go when her back met the wall.
The conversation was quickly deteriorating into a shouting match. "Death wish?"
"You know what I mean. Suicide runs in the Puddle Jumper, chasing Wraith infected F-302s, you get the picture." Elizabeth knew she should stop now but she couldn't help herself.
"That's my job Elizabeth!"
"To protect us yes, not to die!"
And that's when he saw it. It was the same look in her eyes when he shot Kolya, the same look he saw the other day when she met him outside the 302 bay, it was there again.
Elizabeth knew she had been found out and got even more annoyed when he stopped walking towards her, he could only stare. She was so confused right now she didn't know what to do. She wanted to be angry at him, to shout and scream at him and for him to shout back. She was fed up with them being so nice to each other all the time, being so polite and careful not to offend or step over a boundary. Their playful flirting was becoming increasingly frustrating as the tension grew and having nowhere for it to go. At least when they fought she could find some release, but now he wouldn't move. Well she would.
Forgetting about all the frets that were keeping her up at night, without thinking about what would happen next, she pushed off from the wall closing the space between them. Her hands were in his hair, her lips crushing a kiss to his. For a moment he reciprocated, pulling her close wrapping his arms around her, but it only lasted a few seconds before he came to his senses and pulled her back.
"Wait what are we doing?"
"I would have thought that was obvious," she said though ragged breaths.
He grinned at her, starting to like this slightly more aggressive side to Elizabeth. "Yeah, I got the idea, but is it something we should be doing?"
His reluctance was making her loose her nerve, she was sure this was something they both wanted, even if it wasn't under the best of circumstances. "Don't you want to?" She asked looking into his eyes.
"Well I never said that."
"Then what's wrong?" He was still holding onto her, his strong hands on her arms and they were still very close. She leaned in again slowly testing to see if he would reject her advances, but he stayed where he was, watching her every move. The space between them dissolved as she stretched up to reach his mouth leaving a feather light kiss on his parted lips. Elizabeth pulled back a few inches, she had showed him what she wanted, let him know how she felt, but the decision would be his now. She wouldn't move again until he did, not to back away and not to force his hand.
John closed his eyes at her touch, sorely disappointed at how brief it was. He knew the point she was making by staying so close; if he wanted her, he had to come and get her. It really wasn't a question of if her wanted her anymore, his body was telling him how he should proceed, but what would this do to them in the long run? Was this a heat of the moment thing or did she want to start something that lasted longer? So many questions and not enough time to find the answers, he thought and then he felt her warm breath on his neck. All at once he figured he was giving this way to much thought and there would time enough tomorrow to work out what to do.
Wasting not another second, his arms were around her again, bringing her back to him. Elizabeth let out a small cry mixed with relief and thanks and pleasure. For the tiniest of moments there she thought he was going to leave her out here, her feelings exposed and cast off.
John had pushed them back up against the wall, pressing every inch of them together, kissing her hard, but she didn't mind, she just wanted him. One of his hands was on her hip, moving slowly up over the curve of her waist. A couple of finger tips had slipped under the hem of her shirt, grazing the soft skin of her back underneath making her arch into him. John was kissing his way down her neck now and Elizabeth knew that this was one of the more stupid things she had done in her life time, but hell, the way he made her feel so good, it couldn't be all that bad.
They had been out there more than an hour, and what an hour it had been! They had needed to stop themselves from going too far several times, but it was getting harder and harder to control their actions the longer they remained together. Somehow they had managed to pull themselves apart long enough to agree it was time to say good night until they could talk about this.
John had left five minutes ago giving her time to find her composure before walking back through the city to her quarters. She had straightened out her rumpled clothes and ran a hand quickly through her hair, but there was nothing to do for her swollen lips and the warm glow on her cheeks. John had assured her she looked fine, the blush making her even more beautiful. That had only made matters worse, but she was lucky, there hadn't been a soul between the balcony and her quarters to see the evidence of what she had been up to.
However, rounding the last corner before she was home free, she could hear footsteps in the hallway ahead of her. She considered going back and waiting until they had gone, but that meant she might risk running into someone else. No, she would just have to brave it. Sucking in a deep breath and praying whoever was there would just pass her by, Elizabeth continued to walk down the hall.
A few feet short of her door she stopped, surprised at sight of the lone figure leaning up against the control panel. "What are you doing here?" She asked, a little afraid of the answer she would get.
John gave her one of his smug grins that just made her melt. "I know we said we'd have to talk about a lot of stuff before anything else happened with us," he started pushing himself up right and taking a step closer to her. "I was just hoping we could start the negotiations now?"
Her brushed the back of his hand over her flushed cheek then ducked down to gently kiss her.
Well how was she supposed to say no to an offer like that? Elizabeth didn't have the will to resist him and nor did she want to quite frankly. Taking his hand she let him follow her into her room. As the door slide shut behind them she gave up on the idea of getting any sleep once again. At least this time it was for all the right reasons.