Title: Blind (1/1)
Author: DockRock06
Rating:
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to ER, they own to all the wonderful people who write the storylines which we would all change and alter so that Ray and Neela where together.
Spoilers: Season 12, 'Strange Bedfellows'
Content Warning: None really just that it is sad
Summery: What Ray did after the night Neela left. A sad song-fic based on the song 'Blind' by Lifehouse
A/N You should listen to the song as you read it, it is a really great song and I think that if you listen while reading it is better. Here is the link on you tube for it:
I was young but i wann't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still i have the pain i have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
Ray didn't know what to do as he watched the taxi pull away from where he was standing, inside it the woman whom he had grown to love, and as he felt the hot tears prick at the side of his eyes he squeezed the hand which was holding the t-shirt that she had just shoved back at him.
As the taxi rounded the corner and out of his sight Ray turned and slowly began to climb the steps up to his apartment, his mind running on overdrive at what had just happened.
Why didn't I just tell her the truth…that I love her
As he reached the landing to the floor which their, no his, apartment was on he slowly dragged his feet and pushed open the door which he had failed to lock on his way out.
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
Ray walked in a shut the door, dropping the shirt from his hand and onto the back of the couch, walking over to the kitchen and putting the pizza that he had bought for her in the bin; because the truth was that he wasn't even hungry he had only got it for her as a way to make it up to her for making such a mess of the apartment.
He then walked over to the fridge and pulled out two beers, out of habit, and turned and threw the other at the wall, angry at himself for the fact that he didn't have the courage to tell Neela how he really felt, instead he had stood watching helplessly on the side as she drove out of his life.
Walking over to the couch Ray sat down and pulled the shirt to his hands, running his hand over the logo on the front I've been looking for this for about a month
Deciding that getting drunk would have to wait Ray lay down on the couch, closing his eyes and holding the t-shirt close to his chest, almost as if it would bring her back and soon fell asleep.
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
As Ray slept he dreamt of all of the times that they had spent together watching celebrity poker and drinking beer, talking about all of the weird cases that they had encountered that day. And then all of those times where quickly replaced by the memories of Neela telling Ray that she was leaving I think we both know why and Ray feeling his heart breaking.
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
Ray woke up in the middle of the night and reached a hand up to his face as he felt the moisture that was there, and realized that he had been crying in his sleep and he also noticed that he was still clutching the shirt to his chest.
Hearing the sound of an alarm going off he quickly stood and went to his room to turn it off. Not finding it on the nightstand Ray began to turn everything over in his room, not caring if he broke anything, the only thing that he cared about was his broken heart.
Finding the offending item Ray lifted it and threw it against the wall and watched as it shattered into a million pieces and the shrill beeping noise was quickly cut off.
Turing Ray walked into the leaving room and he felt his heart stop at what he saw, Neela was standing in the middle of the room.
'I left some of my stuff here, and I thought that you were already in work'
Neela looked at Ray and noticed that his eyes were red and he was looking at her like he was only a little lost puppy. But Neela knew that she couldn't betray Michael, and she couldn't love Ray the way that he needed to be, not when she was still grieving for her husband.
'Neela…what I said last night…' Ray began to walk towards her but stopped when he seen the look in her eyes, she looked angry and Ray was confused to why.
'Stop Ray…it was wrong…you can't…I don't love you Ray, not like you think you love me' Neela stumbled over the lies; the truth was that she did love Ray, but she couldn't lose him the same way that she lost Michael.
Neela watched as Ray wrapped his arms around himself, as if he was trying to protect himself from her words.
'But you said' Neela felt her heart break at the sight of the tears in his eyes.
'I know Ray…but I have to go now'
Neela turned and left Ray standing watching her back, and just before she closed the door she took one last look back at Ray, who was standing with his head down, almost as if it was too much for him to watch her go.
As soon as the door was closed and he heard her footsteps grow fainter Ray slid down the wall and help his head in his hands, burying his eyes in the shirt that he still held from the night before and let the tears out as he felt his entire body shaking with the force of the misery that he was feeling right at that very moment.
The only woman that he had ever loved had left him, and he wasn't sure that he would ever be the same again.
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
Well i hope that you liked it...please review...i live on them!