Caroline and the Fortune Cookie
Genre: General
Rating: G
Parts: 2
Summary: The message in Caroline's fortune cookie turns out to hold more truth than she initially thought.
I silently count to ten, trying not to explode when Richard makes another one of his 'funny' comments to sabotage my date. He shoots me a smug, lopsided grin and I raise my eyebrows at him in what I hope is an accusatory manner. But it doesn't impress him much. He turns to Julia and they gaze lovingly at each other before exchanging a small kiss.
Ugh, please. I'd like to keep my dinner down, thank you very much.
I look to my right at Trevor. God, I couldn't believe my luck when I found this guy waiting outside my door. He is absolutely gorgeous. He's got piercing blue eyes and thick hair that is just begging for me to rake my fingers through it. And don't get me started on those biceps…
Still, I don't get the chance to make this work 'cause ever since we got here, Richard's been contradicting everything I say and it makes me come off pretty silly. At first I didn't think too much of it, I thought he was just 'being Richard'. But after the entrées he was still going strong with the stupid jokes and no matter how many hints I dropped for him to 'shut up!', he didn't get it. Of course, subtlety is lost on men, I should've known.
It's okay for him, he's married. He's got someone to go home to every night. Doesn't he understand that I want that too?
All of my life I've had to listen to my mom telling me that one day I'd get married to the man of my dreams and that I'd have kids of my own.
I always assumed that was true, but sometimes I just don't know anymore. How much longer am I supposed to wait? There are only so many different TV dinners a person can make.
What if the right guy never shows?
Am I going to spend every Saturday night alone on my couch? That's not what I want. I want to be in love, have someone to talk to, to cheer with when the ball drops at midnight, to spend those long, boring Sundays with.
While I'm thinking about this, I realize that Richard is in every one of these pictures.
'Get over him, Caroline, he's married.' I scold myself, something I've repeated a zillion times ever since he married Julia.
I deserve some happiness by now but come to think of it, people rarely get what they deserve, do they? So maybe, instead of waiting for fate, maybe I should just go for what I deserve.
And what do you know, right next to me is a guy who's definitely cute and who seems to like me quite a bit. My prayers have been answered, no more Saturday nights on the couch watching TV with Salty!
My moment of joy doesn't last long, because when we order dessert, Richard feels obliged to reveal my favorite ice-cream flavor (which, FYI, isn't 'chocolate' but 'Chocolate Fudge Brownie' from Ben and Jerry's) to the group and my blood starts to boil.
When I've managed to order 'green tea' ice cream despite Richard's interference, I really have to let off some steam so I get up from the table.
"Excuse me Julia, can I borrow your husband for a second?" I say politely, my annoyance obvious to everyone but Richard.
Julia rolls her eyes and picks up a knife.
"Please. And take something sharp with you."
Funny, that's the first time Julia and I have ever agreed on something.
We move to a different room where Richard starts talking before I have the chance to say anything.
"Listen, I know what this is about and I'm sorry."
Thank god, at least he can admit to being a complete jerk.
"Well, you ought to be" I retort.
"Julia should have never put you in this position. God knows, you're making the best of this evening, but with a cheese ball like him, what can you do?"
"What movie are you watching?" I exclaim in surprise.
He looks up. He obviously didn't expect this.
"He's great, you're the problem!"
"Me?" he asks incredulously.
Honestly, men!
"Yes you! What is going on with you? You're completely sabotaging my date. I happen to like this guy and I thought he liked me too but at the rate you're going I'm surprised he hasn't run out of the restaurant yet."
His mouth forms a small 'O' and he looks down at his shoes for a moment, mumbling something that sounds like an apology. When he looks up again he seems to have gathered up some courage.
"Caroline I don't mean to sabotage your date but I do believe that the right guy's worth waiting for.
My toes curl in my shoes. He really knows just what to say, doesn't he? I place my hands on my hips.
"Well, you may be right. But you happen to have someone very beautiful who loves you, and I want someone to love me too. Will it be this guy? I don't know. But the only thing I know for sure is I won't find what I want sitting in my apartment alone every Saturday night. Is that so hard for you to understand?"
It feels sooo good to finally spit this all out! I guess he's a little shocked by my little outburst. He sure looks the part. His lips move but no sound comes out. When he's found his voice again he says, "No, no it's not. It's just that…. Why are you in such a rush?"
"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not getting any younger Richard." I pause for effect. A compliment would be nice now. He says nothing of course. God forbid he should ever say something positive.
"Now, why don't you try acting like a friend and giving me some support here?"
With that I turn on my heel and head back for the restaurant. I can only take one step before a hand grabs my wrist and whirls me around again.
He gazes into my eyes, his eyes trying to tell me something but I'm not quite sure what.
Whatever it is, it works because my defenses crumble down in only seconds while my anger miraculously dissolves.
"You know," he says, now also taking a hold of my other wrist, "I've always believed that it's better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong ones."
I nod. I always believed that too. But somehow it seems so idealistic now.
"You're right, but I'm sick and tired of waiting."
I step away from him and he releases my wrists. They drop to my sides.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try some green tea ice cream."
I head back to the table to find that my dessert has already arrived.
Green tea ice cream is disgusting. If it's ever offered to you: Run. Run fast.
No matter how many times I swallow, I can't get rid of the horrible aftertaste. I wonder if my taste buds will ever recover.
The fortune cookies that are served at the end of our dinner seem like the perfect solution.
Julia and Trevor crack open their cookies and both read the message inside out loud. Richard says nothing. I wonder if he doesn't feel like reading it or if maybe his is empty again.
There's not another peep out of Richard, he's very quiet and seems to be afraid to say anything. He'll occasionally look up at me, giving me a helpless and apologetic look, which I answer with a smug grin.
Julia smiles at me, obviously impressed that I managed to get through to him. She'll probably ask me what my secret is later.
When Julia and Trevor look up expectantly, I crack open mine as well and pull out a thin, curled little note.
"There are many illusions to overcome before finding what is really true" it says.
What a load of crap. These Chinese fortunes always sound very deep and philosophic but if you really think about it, they mean absolutely nothing, do they? I mean, anyone can think of something like this, right?
"What does yours say Carolina?" Julia asks. Trevor curiously peeks over my shoulder to read it. I quickly fold my fingers over the tiny note to hide it from his view.
"Ugh, nothing" I say dismissively, hoping to move past the 'fortune nonsense', "Just another one of the cliché fortunes you find in almost every one of these cookies."
I quickly get up, heading for the wardrobe.
I hastily pull on my coat and I'm already good to go when Julia and Trevor are still making small talk with the owner. Richard is still quiet and doesn't seem interested in their conversation. He's standing there with his hands in his pockets at a small distance from me. His eyes carefully search mine but I'm not sure how to respond. Part of me is still angry about his behavior but another part of me wants to throw my arms around him, kiss him and never let go.
His eyes move away when he spots something on the floor. He picks it up.
"Here, you dropped this" he says, handing me a small piece of paper.
I take it from him and shove it in my coat pocket without looking at it. I then follow Julia and Trevor outside. I'm glad we're finally getting out of here.
Once we get outside into the cold night, we linger in front of the restaurant together. Nobody knows quite what to do and the moment's pretty awkward.
Richard's scanning the street for a cab while I try to think of something interesting to say. Trevor has suddenly developed an unusual interest in his shoes. The only person who doesn't seem to feel the awkwardness for a moment is Julia. I don't think I've ever seen her ill at ease. Well maybe that one night when she'd just broken up with Marcello, but that was just an act to steal Richard away, wasn't it? Bitch.
Hey, where did that come from? I thought I'd just decided to fully focus on Trevor. I must remember that Richard no longer exists for me. Not like that anyway.
The subject of my thoughts has just hailed a cab and is ushering everyone in. Well, he wants to but only Julia gets in the cab. I don't really want to be in a cab with them.
Then I'm hit with the fabulous idea of a walk! In that case I won't have to share a cab with Richard and I get to talk to Trevor a little more. My heart gives a little jump at the prospect of walking home with him. Alone.
Trevor likes the idea and we say goodbye to Julia and Richard before we walk off, taking a hold of each other's hand.
As innocent as this little gesture is, it feels wrong straight away.
I don't even feel anything for this guy. Sure he's gorgeous and I have to remember to make a doctor's appointment to find out what's wrong with me because it stops right there. I think he's attractive but nothing more.
We keep on walking, I'm still determined to go through with this, I'll never find someone if I don't keep trying. That strange feeling is probably just a phase anyway.
But no matter what I try, the uneasy feeling keeps gnawing at me.
Ugh, damn me for being a well-brought up woman with morals and integrity. Though I always ignored her, my mom has somehow managed to pass this all on to me. This is the first time I even realize it and I hate it. Why can't I put my integrity on hold for one night? My mom would gloat if she knew. (Let's make this our little secret, shall we?)
With each step I take I realize I can't do this. As much as I hate it and no matter how badly I want to, I can't push my feelings aside. Somewhere in the distance I hear Trevor suggesting a nightcap.
Well, that's my cue I guess. I can't lead this guy on any longer.
"That's a really nice idea, Trevor" I start, patting his shoulder.
He instantly senses what's coming.
"Uh-oh, the pat"
"You're a really nice guy but I think I'll just go home. It's not you, I'm just getting over someone"
"Oh well, Julia didn't tell me."
"I know, I think she's trying to help me forget. Maybe we could do this again sometime."
I give a weak smile and kindly turn down Trevor's offer of getting me a cab. We walk off in opposite directions and I hang my head, hating myself for being so spineless. I stroll down the street, I'm not very eager to go home to an empty apartment.
I have to think of a way to avoid Annie for a couple of days, she'll say that I'm nuts for letting Trevor get away. She'll probably nag me incessantly about it until I give in and call him after all.
I suck in a deep breath through my nose, the cold winter air tingling in my lungs. I love this, the fresh air, the lights around me. It makes my problems seem so frivolous. My cheeks have reddened from the cold and it makes me feel very alive. Wouldn't it be great if it started snowing now too?
I have just turned the corner when my head raises at a sound behind me. I look up and glance around. There are not many people in the streets anymore. It's late so most people are at home and the ones who aren't are hurrying to the subway or their cars to escape the cold.
I look behind me when I hear the sound again. I squint my eyes against the bright lights coming from the passing traffic. Muggers don't call you to them first, do they? But then a familiar silhouette appears in the distance. It's Richard.
He's jogging towards me, struggling to call my name despite the cold air.
I do nothing and just watch in amazement when he comes closer and closer.
When he's reached me, he just pants and places his hands on his knees, his breath fogging the air.
"Richard?" I say incredulously.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as he slowly stands up straight, his breathing returning to normal.
"I couldn't let you leave like that" he explains, slightly shaking his head, "I know that you're entitled to do what you want but what you said at the restaurant, that's just not who you are."
"So what if it's not?" I shrug, "I can change, right?"
He nods, his eyes closed.
"Sure," he agrees and when he opens his eyes again, he directs his gaze to the ground. "But it just seemed wrong that you'd be with someone you're not in love with while I-…"
He breaks off and starts scanning the street.
How can he stop here?! I'm dying to hear how that sentence ends! If I were sitting down, I'd be at the edge of my seat.
"Where is Trevor by the way?" he asks, still glancing around as though he's expecting Trevor to be hiding behind one of the parked cars.
"I already realized it wouldn't work" I grin.
"Guess I'm too good, huh?" I jokingly add, hoping to lighten the mood but Richard doesn't follow my example. Instead he turns all serious on me. He takes both my hands in his again and I instantly lace my fingers through his. Don't ask me why, it just seems right. For a moment I'm afraid it might scare him off, but he doesn't seem to notice. He looks like he's thinking hard, as though he doesn't know what to say to me.
It takes a while before he finally speaks and when he does, his voice is soft but clear.
"I had a big fight with Julia in the cab just now" he reveals.
Okay, not exactly what I was expecting. As much as I hate seeing the two of them together, I also hate seeing Richard in pain. Somewhere inside me, curiosity is bubbling up and is forcing its way to the surface. I'm just dying to know what they fought about and another part of my brain is already shifting into gear to come up with ways to help them work this out.
Richard beats me to it and completely takes me by surprise when he tells me what happened.
"I now know why I acted like such a jerk tonight. In fact, it's the reason Julia and I had a fight, or split up actually."
His casual tone doesn't prevent me from being absolutely stunned. They split up?? I have to restrain myself from cheering and I think my lips are turning blue by now, I'm pressing them together as tightly as I can to stop an interrogation from rolling off my tongue.
"When I saw you and Trevor walk away hand in hand, it suddenly dawned on me; I've been living a lie. It made me think about lots of things: Julia, our life together, this evening, you, and finally my behavior. Julia just helped me see what I didn't want to admit earlier: I was insane with jealousy, that's why I acted the way I did."
I can't believe it! I can't believe what he's telling me! I want to jump with joy.
I can't stay quiet anymore, there're so many things I want to tell him, but Richard places his index finger to my lips to silence me.
"Let me finish, Caroline. What I wanted to tell you is that I just lost it when I thought of you with another guy. I thought I could recreate what Julia and I once had, but it's just not working, it's all an illusion. We just figured this out, that's why we're splitting up, 'cause the truth is…I'm in love with you."
He slowly leans in, leaving his index finger on my lips to keep me from interrupting. After what seems like an eternity, he finally removes it to let his lips descend onto mine. A warm, tingly feeling bubbles up in the pit of my stomach the second his lips come in contact with mine. It whirls its way up and quickly spreads before finally leaving my body again through my fingertips.
Richard releases one hand, allowing his strong arm to encircle my waist and gather me close, while our other hands, still entwined, rise and only let go when we tangle them in each other's hair. He smiles against my lips and another swarm of butterflies is set free in my stomach.
I lose all sense of time. I don't know if it's late or early anymore, summer or winter. I don't realize it's the latter until I feel something soft and cold land in my neck. We pull away and both gaze up at the swirl of snowflakes that's falling down us, covering our hair and shoulders with a white dust.
We slowly direct our gaze back to each other and I feel as though I'm going to burst with happiness when I look into his soft brown eyes.
"I'm in love with you too" I then admit, loving the way this sounds and grateful that I can finally say it out loud, as often as I want.
He offers the most beautiful smile in return and I'm trying to store this image in my memory so that I'll never forget this moment.
He reaches for my hand and without saying another word, we carefully walk off over the now slippery sidewalk, the fresh layer of snow squeaking under our feet.
As I look around me at the lit windows of the tall buildings, the snowflakes in the dark, winter night and this wonderful man walking next to me, I truly feel that all is right with the world. And to think that only a few hours ago I was ready to throw in the towel. Give up. Settle.
I can't even begin to imagine what would've happened if I had kept lying to myself, this might never have happened.
I shove my hand in my pocket but rather than feeling the soft fabric of my coat, it hits a piece of paper. I take it out and fold it open. It's the fortune I found in my cookie at the restaurant.
"There are many illusions to overcome before finding what is really true"
Maybe there's some truth in Chinese fortunes after all.
The End