DISCLAIMER: I do not own That 70s Show, unfortunately because if I did no one would have been subjected to season 8.
ZENNIES / PUDDIN' POPS / DOLLS
He glared at the evil contraption that Bob had convinced Kitty to let him bring. Actually if he was going to blame anyone it would be Donne for buying him the damn thing for Christmas, now all set up and ready to go it seemed to be mocking him.
"Whose genius idea was that thing anyway?" He muttered reaching for a beer; he would definitely need it soon.
"I'm pretty sure Fez told her about it." Jackie answered popping up beside him. "I suggested a nose hair trimmer."
Hyde grimaced; Bob's nose hair was almost as scary as his wig. "Yeah that would have been better."
"Goddess! Miss Kitty is picking out songs for everyone!" Fez announced running up to Jackie and throwing his arm around her shoulder, they still hadn't decided if they were together officially. Jackie wanted to wait until midnight so that their first kiss was special. Hyde was tempted to say something about her needing to be tanked before kissing Fez but chose to keep his mouth shut, his shins were still bruised after that green hair thing.
"I'm not singing that mum!" Eric yelped from across the room shaking his head at Kitty who was holding out the microphone with an expectant look on her face.
"Eric take the damn microphone and make your mother happy." Red ordered with a Cheshire cat smile, obviously the song she picked out was embarrassing.
"Yeah Forman, quit being a pu- baby." He covered hastily fighting the urge to rub his leg where Jackie had kicked him; lucky she didn't wear the pointy boots today. Kelso and Fez joined in the jeering and Eric was forced in front of the TV with the oversized tacky microphone held in front of his mouth unsurely. Only Donna seemed to not find this funny, she had gotten a starry look in her eye which meant no one wanted to know what the hell she was thinking.
Sighing heavily into the microphone Eric shook his head once more wondering what he did to deserve this, if only he vocalized this Hyde was more than happy to supply a list; ran over Mr. Bonkers, ditched his wedding, kind of sort of maybe killed his grandma just to name a few.
"When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling
My ding-a-ling my ding-a-ling
Won't you play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling my ding-a-ling
Won't you play with my ding-a-ling"
You know when you imagine something and it is so awesome you just can't ever believe the reality will live up to it? This was definitely not one of these moments, oh what he would give for a video camera…. No wait Bob had that covered, he would definitely need copies of this.
Fez started off the applause while Eric took a bow feigning modesty, Jackie was shaking with pent up laughter and holding onto the bar for support.
"No offense Forman but there is no way I'm playing with your ding-a-ling, that's your left hands job." Hyde said tipping his beer to his almost brother.
"Laugh it up Hyde your next."
Crap.
There was no way he was going to sing and Forman knew that, he'd appreciate the burn if he wasn't so pissed off. Red looked absolutely delighted, watching one of 'those basement hoodlums' be publicly humiliated was one of his favourite past times especially when the two in question deserved it.
"Go ahead Steven it's fun, it's crazy it's Crazy-aoke!" Kitty yelled well on her way through her sixth bloody Mary, that hour.
"I've got a song all ready for you." Forman told him slapping the microphone to his chest.
"No way man." Hyde growled in a low voice, scowling not just for effect but because it was his face's default setting.
"Fez shall do it!"
"No!"
Jackie's shriek startled everyone, and equally amused them. There was a time she would have given her kidney for a boy to serenade her.
"I can sing a song for my Goddess Jacqueline!" Fez pouted, it had no effect on Jackie who was now scowling, and it looked kind of familiar.
"No!" She repeated more forcefully. "The last time someone serenaded me in a public he had to wear an eye patch for two months."
And gotten burnt from trying to rescue the guitar Hyde had thrown in the fire. Good times. It was funny though, Jackie had never minded when he sang along to the radio and she always begged him to sing Tiny Dancer when she couldn't sleep. Obviously she remembered this given the way she was pointedly avoiding looking at him.
"Yeah I don't think so Buddy." Eric agreed. "I'm pretty sure Red will have another heart attack if you sing a song about wanting to do it with the devil."
"Ew!"
It escaped her lips before she could even think, everyone in earshot looked at her with shared looks of confusion.
"Sorry, reflex." She apologized planting a kiss on Fez's cheek.
Of course now all of the party was staring at them waiting for what would happen next. Swigging from his beer Hyde shrugged, what the hell it's not like anyone would remember in the morning anyway.
"Give me the damn microphone."
He'd never admit but he'd often fantasized about headlining a band, of course only Jackie knew this and since she was avoiding looking at him he wouldn't have to worry about her blabbing.
Donna let out a loud cheer egging on Kitty who was already clapping excitedly, this was going to suck. Pressing play Eric rushed back to his seat next to Donna, he'd need her protection soon. The beat started thumping out of the stereo and Hyde cursed inwardly. Oh he was going to get Forman so bad he'd wish he'd let Red stick a foot up his ass.
"You're always dancing down the street
with your suede blue eyes
And every new boy that you meet
He doesn't know the real surprise
Here she comes again
When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky
Ooh, she'll make you flip
When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky
I kinda like the way she dips
Well she's my best friend's girl
She's my best friend's girl
But she used to be mine."
He shouldn't have been surprised that Fez seemed completely oblivious to the awkwardness that was rapidly engulfing the room, Jackie was rigid, her back completely straight and sending poisonous looks to Eric. Kelso was enjoying himself bouncing Betsy on his knee and yelling out 'Burn!' trying to teach the little girl.
Eric seemed entirely unfazed by the loathsome looks he was receiving. Ok so maybe internally his mind was screaming in terror and telling him to get his ass back to Africa where all he had to worry about was being eaten by a lion. But it was all a part of the plan, the karaoke hadn't been planned but it was working out to be a great burn as well as proving his point. Who would have thought he'd be the one to champion a reconciliation between Jackie and Hyde? It would be like trying to get Han Solo and Princess Leia together! Inconceivable!
"You've got your nuclear boots
And your drip dry gloves
Ooh when you bite your lip
It's some reaction to love"
Jackie had managed to halt her glaring at Eric long enough to risk a look at Steven. Idly she wondered if her stupid traitorous heart would ever cease to be affected by him. She wasn't an idiot, she knew Eric had chosen this song as a burn, and every word felt like it was stabbing at her heart.
"Here she comes again
When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky
Ooh, she'll make you flip
When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky
I kinda like the way, I like the way she dips"
She tried to arrange her face into a zen mask, like she couldn't care less that her ex, who would always be more than that was singing a song that was obviously meant to refer to her. Or that no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise she still wanted to slap Fez's arm away from her and then shower. Repeatedly, sadly she knew where those hands had been. She was going to kill Eric.
"Cause she's my best friend's girl
She's my best friend's girl
And she used to be mine
She's so fine."
Stupidly he looked over at Jackie practically singing the song directly to her, she was staring right back at him eyes shiny with tears. The 'fine' had barely left his lips when she bolted, Fez's arm would definitely be aching tomorrow for an entirely different reason than usual. The music scratched when Donna quickly stopped it, Hyde was now glaring daggers at Eric, and he'd even taken off his glasses so that Eric could feel the full weight. Kitty was of course glancing between the two; she'd just gotten her baby back she didn't want Steven to break him already.
This hadn't been a part of the plan. Jackie wasn't meant to be hurt more, it was supposed to be like a romantic gesture, too bad he forgot how much he sucked at those.
"The song isn't over yet!" Kelso complained. "Betsy and I were just getting into our groove!"
Brooke shushed her boyfriend whispering in his ear what he had failed to notice, his eyes lit up and she slapped her hand over his mouth muffling the burn he tried to yell.
"What the hell was that Forman?" Hyde growled throwing the microphone at the ground probably breaking it. Eric paled slightly and jumped to hide behind Donna.
"I thought it would be romantic!" He yelped. "I mean it's obvious you want her back and that's why you've been such a dick to her. That's what mum told me in all her letters!"
"Smooth Eric, I wont have to put my foot up your ass, yours is already travelling there through your mouth." Red clapped his son on the shoulder. "Shouldn't one of you dumbasses go after the loud one?"
Fez turned to go through the door Jackie had bolted from but was stopped by Red who shook his head.
"Not you Pele." He looked over to his other son. "Well are you finally going to pull your head out of your ass like I told you to when that stripper showed up?"
"But Jacqueline is mine now!" Fez complained. "It's Fez's turn!"
"She's not a ride at Fun Land!" Donna snapped at Fez slapping him over the head. "That's your ex wife remember?"
"Well it wouldn't be a party at the Forman's if someone didn't mention how easy Laurie is." Eric muttered to himself. Speaking up he turned to Fez. "Come on Buddy you know she never would have gone through with it, she's hit rock bottom and what do women do when they hit rock bottom?"
"Sleep with Fez." He answered with a small perverted smile. "I was so close!"
"Yeah cos Hyde would really let you sleep with Jackie, he never let me when he was dating her and I wouldn't even get her sticky like you would!" Kelso commiserated with his little buddy.
"Oh I'm not touching that one." Eric said holding his hands up and backing away slowly.
"Ha, that's just what Jackie would have said." Donna said thoughtfully.
"Burn!"
"That's right Bets! Burn!" Kelso jumped up with the gleeful girl in his arms; luckily the ceiling fan wasn't on. "My girl's a genius!"
"Congrats Brooke, here's hoping your genes continue to dominate Kelsos!" Eric cheered holding up his glass turning to Hyde to clink his glass he realized he was nowhere to be found. "Hey where did Hyde go?"
"Well I guess you're the town dumbass again." Red sighed sitting back down in his green easy chair; these kids would be the death of him.
ZENNIES/ PUDDIN' POPS/ DOLLS
She hadn't thought, she'd just ran…well ran to her car and then drove like a maniac away from the house. She'd probably run at least four red lights and her car had definitely suffered when she swerved to miss that cat but since she still had all of her limbs and she was breathing she figured she was fine. Physically anyway, mentally, emotionally; well that was another thing all together.
"Stupid Eric, I'm going to melt everyone one of his GI Joes down and leave them in his bed." She muttered venomously to herself pulling on the hand brake. She hadn't consciously driven here; she actually wasn't sure why she was at the rundown fotohut that still smelt like pot and hippy, probably because no one would think to look for her here. She wiggled through the window easily; her petite stature certainly had its perks. It was cold and as she remembered smelt very much of Leo, on the floor under the counter was the pillow and blanket that Leo used during his naps.
"Kill Eric. Number one on the to do list with a bullet." She grouched pulling out the blanket and wrapping it around herself, she was definitely going to make sure Donna didn't give it up to him for a good long while for this. "Oh yeah he is definitely going to get well acquainted with his left hand."
Maybe she could break his hand, that way he couldn't get any satisfaction.
"After I kill Eric, break his hands."
"You know I don't think you were this violent until we started dating."
Jackie jumped and hit her head against the counter glaring daggers at Hyde who was in the doorway smirking at her; oh that damn smirk she was going to slap it off his face.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Me? Well I used to work here and I have the keys for this place but you must have broken in; you're coming along nicely." He joked his nerves directly linked to the frostiness of her glare.
"If I wanted to talk to you or be insulted I would have stayed at the Formans." She snapped back standing up, she could either dive out the window or run past him.
"I'm not going to insult you Jackie."
"Really? Because that's been your go to move for nearly a year." She sneered standing up and letting the blanket fall to the floor.
"I've been an asshole this year." He admitted hoping the honesty would help him slightly.
"You always did have a talent for the understatement." Jackie sniffed. "I believe selfish arrogant ass faced dill hole loser jerk would be more apt."
"I deserved that." He swallowed. "I never apologized-"
"And don't start now." She cut him off. "Your apology means nothing to me Steven, maybe if you had shown a tiny bit of remorse for your actions in the past year it would."
"What would telling you I deserve the stupid helmet welded to my head mean to you?"
"That you finally got that head from ass removal surgery Red told you about." She snarked.
He did love the sass, his girl was always so sassy.
"Well he needed somewhere to put his foot." He tried to joke; Jackie smiled thinly and turned away to the window. "I am sorry and you can punish me all you like but I think we both know Sam was a pretty big punishment already."
"How many STD's did she give you anyway?" Jackie wondered. "I have a bet going with Brooke she thinks five but I'm betting double digits"
"Jackie come on just hear me out."
"Right cause you heard me out. Oh wait a minute no you didn't." She said sarcastically. "You should probably move I think this is the part where I'm meant to storm out and go to Vegas and get married to a total stranger."
"I'm going to be hearing about that until I die aren't I?" He checked, Jackie sent him a look and he sighed. "Yeah I figured as much."
"What are you really doing here?" She finally asked cutting to the chase she wanted to get out of here and soon.
"Looking for you, Forman's an idiot but he thought that if you heard that song we'd get back together."
"Why? Because his track record with romantic gestures is so hot?" She scoffed. "Moron."
"Exactly but he wasn't wrong entirely. I miss you." He admitted. "I fucked up but I want to fix it."
"Now? When I'm finally moving on?" She was incredulous. "You want what you can't have."
He'd expected that response; there was no way she was going to make this easy on him.
"It's New Years Eve Jackie and I'm here with you, just like you wanted last year because-"
"How you spend New Years Eve is how you spend the rest of the year." She finished softly, its funny how a year can feel like a decade when it sucks.
"Well I want to spend it with you." He lifted her chin with his finger and stared into her mismatched eyes.
"Don't." She pushed his hand away and pushed herself to the other side of the room, which wasn't that far. "Don't pretend to be my Steven when we both know the second this gets real or public you'll revert to the same assface you've been all year."
"I'm guessing just asking you to trust me wouldn't work?" Hyde tried even taking off his glasses. Jackie sent him a look that he recognized, although usually he wasn't on the receiving end of it.
"I will never trust you again. I tried that once, actually I tried that almost a dozen times and I was screwed over on each and every one. I mean seriously each time I think it couldn't hurt more you would trump it by sleeping with a nurse, picking biker chicks over me or getting married to strippers. If you really want to ruin every dream I ever had, let me congratulate you on a job well done!"
Oh great, tears had started to fall. She hated crying in front of him. He hated her crying in front of him, especially when he was the cause.
"I never wanted that. When I thought you'd cheated on me with Kelso I just wanted to get revenge." He tried to explain, words would always fail him it seemed.
"Because that tactic was such a success last time!" She retorted. "God! Why would I cheat? I know how it feels Steven and no one deserves that. And as I recall we weren't exactly together anymore, I asked for you to tell me that you pictured me with you in the future and you couldn't even do that!"
"I think we've already covered the part where I'm a moron."
"It bears repeating!" Jackie snapped. "Do you know what it is like to be constantly worried that the person you love most in the world, the only person you can rely on, can't tell you how they feel or if they even want you around? It makes me feel like nothing, like I'm not important enough for you to even think of staying with. When I think of my future, of the moment when all of my dreams come true or even if they don't, you are the one I want next to me. I want you there helping me through it all."
"You still want me in your future?" He asked, of course he had to zero in on that part of the sentence. "Because you said want, that's present tense."
"That's the sick thing, I still do." She admitted her hands turning white in their clenched form. "But I know better than to forgive you again. I can't let you break me again; I wont let anyone break me. The only person I can rely on is myself, that's my New Year's resolution. Don't trust anyone but yourself and you'll never be let down."
"That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. You have people who care about you, who want to be there for you."
"Really? Who? Was it my best friend who abandoned me the second a trans am was parked in the drive way? Or my boyfriend who obviously never knew me at all? I've learnt my lesson, don't trust anyone you can't get hurt." Jackie listed off easily.
"Donna's an idiot, without Forman around she's always making dumb decisions." Hyde reminded her. "She ran off to California with Kelso, almost slept with Casey Kelso and hooked up with Randy the only guy in the world with more hair products than you!"
"That doesn't make up for the fact that when I needed her she abandoned me, all those times she put me down for cheerleading and wanting to have a white picket fence and who does she befriend? A goddamn stripper. Oh I can see how performing acrobats for school spirit is far worse for feminism than sliding around on a pole and taking your clothes off for money!" The tears were coming faster now, just what she needed at least she had opted for waterproof mascara.
"I can't change what I did." Hyde admitted. "But damn it Jackie I'm here apologizing, talking to you. Doesn't that count for something?"
"Barely."
"I don't talk about my feelings like Forman, or shower you with affection and gifts like Fez. But I made you pretty happy." This whole talking thing was annoying, it only reminded him of why he didn't do it more. "And if you don't come back with me to the Forman's Red is going to kick my ass for letting you go and Kitty's going to cry and then Red is going to want to kick me ass again."
"You deserve worse."
"Red told me I needed to beg, I should tell you that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you but that's not me. I can't make promises, I just know that I want to be with you." Hyde pulled away his glasses, his last resort.
She wanted to punch him, she always had been a sucker for his blue eyes, asshole.
"And what happens when some other stripper shows up at the Forman's front door? Or Michael says something stupid?"
"Kelso will always say something stupid but I know now that it doesn't mean anything." Hyde admitted, it was like swallowing battery acid actually letting the words out of his mouth. "I can trust you, I always have."
"Bullshit."
He knew teaching her that card game would come back to bite him on the ass.
"I'm not lying, I trusted you I just didn't want to."
"Again I'm calling bullshit." Jackie snapped. "If you trusted me you wouldn't have completely freaked out over Michael all the time!"
"I said I trusted you and I meant it but that doesn't come easily to me. So when I saw you with Kelso in that hotel room I decided to leave before you left me. In what screwed up love story does the poor burnout get the princess?"
"You're not poor, you're the illegitimate son of a millionaire who gave you a record store. And I'm not a princess unless in the fairy tales you read the princess is an orphan whose mother abandoned her in favour of tequila and whose father is in jail. I live with Fez in a tiny apartment that has mould on the ceiling; not exactly Cinderella's castle!" She yelled letting her instincts take over and kicking him on the shins.
"Ow! Did you have to wear the pointy boots?" He grumbled, he was fairly certain they were steel capped. "You were the one always going on about falling in love and living happily ever after!"
"I'm a girl!" Jackie all but shouted wishing for something to throw at his head. "Of course I like to dream about a big wedding and living happily ever after. You are such an idiot, I know that real life is harder than that. You have to work for the things that matter the most."
They stared at each other, Hyde mentally counting all the ways he had seriously fucked up not only his life but Jackie's too. She pulled on her necklace swinging the charm up and down like she always did when she was nervous.
"You've never worked hard for anything; always too scared at failing. That's why you let Sam stay and why you went to the beer warehouse and got drunk. Hurt them before they hurt you." She said slowly. "I get it, I do. I just never understood why you were so certain that I was going to hurt you, I understand now."
"You scare the hell out of me Jacks." He admitted taking the risk at cupping her face, she let him.
"You scare the hell out of me too." She whispered, the words barely more than puffs of breath on his lips. From outside you could hear people cheering, counting down to one.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
"Welcome to the eighties dollface."
Leaning forward ever so slightly he kissed her, thoroughly, properly kissed her like he had been craving ever since he saw those damn pouty lips.
"OW! Damn those boots!"
"You'll be wishing for these boots if you so much as say the words 'I don't know' ever again." She threatened before pressing her lips back against his; he was a much more satisfying albeit at times destructive, drug than the circle. "And this doesn't mean I forgive you, you are on probation."
"Double secret?" He joked although you could tell she didn't find it funny.
"This is it, this is your last chance and you should consider yourself blessed that I am willing to let you walk over the hot coals that will be the next few months until you have proven I can trust you again."
"Yes dear." He droned winking at her.
"Come on, I have to go break Eric's dainty girl wrists and tell Donna to cut him off, she owes me." Jackie grumbled pulling him out of the photo hut and towards the El Camino. He smiled to himself picking her up and plopping her on the flat bed settling her in between his legs; with her sitting and him standing they were roughly the same height. She kissed him languidly, scratching her nails against the back of his neck and nibbling on his bottom lip.
"I think I'm going to like the eighties." He said between kisses.
"Well they can't be any worse than the seventies." Jackie agreed. "Now take me back to the Forman's, I just thought of the perfect revenge for Eric."
ZENNIES/ PUDDIN' POPS/ DOLLS
Eric woke up with a start, it was very cold in his room all of a sudden, and since when did his roof have a view of the morning sun?
"Rise and shine dumbass!" Red greeted from the porch, he looked entirely too happy sipping on his coffee.
Eric gaped at his father, how did he fall asleep outside? As usual he was sleeping naked and had only a flannel sheet as protection against the blistering cold.
"Why am I outside?" He asked already knowing he would regret asking later.
"Revenge." Jackie replied stepping outside from the toasty warm kitchen. "Oh boys?"
Kelso and Hyde walked up the drive carrying a rather heavy trash can, sticking out from the top he could recognise his millennium falcon.
"You've got to make a choice Eric." Jackie begin dangling matches in front of him. "You can either safe your nerdgasm toys or you can choose the fate behind mystery door number 2."
"Take the door man, you don't need these stupid dolls." Hyde advised.
"No way, a mystery door is probably the doorway to like a haunted house or something." Kelso argued. Eric looked down at the bin full of his precious memorabilia and to Jackie with her sadistic smirk.
"Don't hurt the toys!" He begged flinging himself across the can. "I'll take anything but that."
"I was so hoping you'd chose that." Jackie gloated. "Hey Donna?"
"Yeah?"
"Eric just choose to save his loser toys over you." She told her nonchalantly pointing to Eric who was still clutching the bin like it was his long last child.
"You stupid dillhole!" Donna yelled grabbing her boyfriend and pushing him to the ground. "Give me those matches."
Jackie handed them over obligingly and sighed happily when the lit match fell into the bin releasing a very pungent plastic melting odour.
"You should get real equipped with your left hand for the next month you stupid jerk!" Donna stomped away leaving her boyfriend with tears in his eyes, over her or the toys no one could decide.
"Come on baby, Mrs. Forman made French toast!" Jackie called to Hyde wrapping herself around his midsection. "Thanks for last night Eric, your plan totally worked."
"Devil. Obi-Wan why have you forsaken me?" He cried out staring up at the sky. Hyde and Jackie stood behind the safety of the glass door and chuckled.
"How long before you tell him the only things in there are parts from Candyland?" Hyde asked around a mouthful of toast.
"I'll give it another hour, and it wasn't just Candyland parts, I put his playboy collection in there." Jackie smiled proudly.
"I don't think there is anymore I can teach you Grasshopper."
Jackie grinned back leaning up and kissing him soundly despite Red's grumbles.
"That's cool."
ZENNIES/ PUDDIN' POPS/ DOLLS
Hope you all enjoyed this little foray, it was a drabble that i've been kicking around for a while. Rest assured I have at least another 4 stories that are also all in various stages of completion. Hit me up if you want more JH goodness from me!