Disclaimer: I own nothing. Unfortunately. I'd love to own at least one of the men Nomura conjures up… -sigh-

Author's Note: To be honest, I have no idea where this idea came from or where it's going. But it's been rooted into my head, and it won't go away. So try and enjoy! This chapter may be a bit confusing, but there's going to be a lot of explaining coming in the next few installments ^-^ Also, any input is greatly appreciated.

Chapter One: Helpless

"What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Last night… Something happened."

"Was it something terrible?"

How to answer that…

"It was something unpredictable."

"And?"

"She spoke to me."

"..She? You mean-"

"Yes."

"She chose you?"

"I… I don't know."

"I can't lose you."

"I know."

"Listen to her."

"I plan on it."

Especially based on what she said.

"Be careful."

"It won't matter even if I am."

"Don't do anything against Her though."

"And how am I supposed to know what she wants?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"She barely said anything."

"And what was it she said?"

"Just… To live my life."

"That's it?"

"I wouldn't be so confused otherwise."

"Just… be sure to use some discretion, even with a command like that."

"It won't change anything."

"…I'm aware."

A nod.

The sound of soft footsteps bouncing off the tiled floor.

Then silence.

It had begun.

Thonk.

The impact alone was enough to make him let out a low groan as he sat up, only to hear the same words he had heard too many times to count.

"Leonhart. Sleep is for home, not for class. Stay awake or you'll have something worse than a book thrown at your head." Leon rubbed the slightly sore spot now, thankful that it was the cover of the book that hit him and not one of the corners. He muttered and acknowledgement and the professor looked happy enough. Sometimes he'd wonder why he was the only one abused during class, when she knew exactly the reason he fell asleep. No mercy for the young apparently.

Luckily, there was only about fifteen more minutes of class before he was done for the day. All he had to do was make it seem like he was paying attention, even when the only thing that he could think of was the events of the past week.

After being all but branded by the Goddess, he had basically lost his normal life. There had been no missions to complete to keep him occupied, and class only took a few hours out of the time. Not that class was interesting enough anyway. So now he was practically home bound. The boss was too worried about getting on Her bad side, and Leon didn't really give a damn. At this point, he just figured that She had forgotten about him. She told him to live his life, he was doing that. Since then, there had been no contact. Perhaps she was letting him know that he wouldn't be controlled.

He had been thinking about this far too much.

The bell let out a long tone and the professor didn't even have time to finish her sentence before people were heading out the door. The day was basically over by now – oh the glory of night classes – so he had managed to make it through this day without any incident. Not that he was in any position to do anything even remotely risky. It had been a fairly normal day for a fairly normal college student, and oh how he wished he knew how to handle that. At least now all that he had to do was make it back to the dorm, get a shower, grab something to eat, and go to sleep. None of that should be interrupted. Not with the door locked at least.

"Squall." He really wished she would stop calling him that.

"Leon," he corrected, looking up and meeting her eyes. "You know that Quistis." He smirked and he saw how uptight she got as soon as the formalities had been dropped.

"Well, when I met you, you were still known as Squall. And were for several years. Forgive me if it's a bit more difficult for me to adjust to your new identity," she pushed her glasses up and Leon knew that he had flustered her.

"You were going to ask something?"

"Oh yes." Quistis paused and put her book down, having held onto it even after class ended. "I heard about what happened."

"What was that?" he asked, not missing a beat. He knew exactly what she was talking about, but he wanted to hear how it sounded now that there were more people that knew it than just him and the boss.

"You know what it is. I'm not going to talk about it here, but I wanted to know from you that it's true."

"It is."

"Then good luck." Leon nodded in acquiesce. He'd need the luck.

Turning to leave, he let out a soft sigh when Quistis stopped him yet again.

"I want to give you something," she explained. He watched as Quistis walked over to the tall bookcases covering a corner of the classroom, wondering how she thought a book of all things would be able to help him through this. This was past anything a book could say. Very few people were ever contacted by Her and when they were, none of it was to be documented. It was a death wish.

"Here." Leon caught the book that had been thrown at him, surprised that Quistis would actually throw a book. He leafed through it, and immediately knew it was ancient. There were several symbols on the page, but nothing like what people read now. No pictures, and the format was old enough to match the yellowing pages.

"What's this going to do?" he asked, looking back up to meet Quistis's eyes.

"Read through it. As much as you can each night. Then tell me what you think about this whole thing." She turned around and slid the laptop off the desk and into the leather case leaning against the seat. "Books are helpful for more than just keeping you awake."

"Yeah, well you know the reason for that," Leon said, sliding the book into the bag slung over his shoulder.

"I work as well, but I don't sleep through class." He was grateful that she didn't point out that he currently wasn't working at all. That alone had caused him several restless nights. He didn't enjoy being so far out of the loop that he wasn't even sure what his partners were doing at the moment.

"As long as I pass it shouldn't be an issue."

"And as soon as you fail you'll find yourself unemployed!" Leon smiled lightly.

"Thanks for the concern. Now if you actually do want me to get some sleep, then I suggest you let me go now."

Quistis let out a curt laugh and waved him off. "You're dismissed Mr. Leonhart."

The rest of the night was, thankfully, fairly peaceful. No remarks from anything, no calls from work, no obligations. To be honest, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. He was used to being called on for one thing or another, but with what happened earlier in the week, people were too worried to speak to him. Which would slowly drive him insane, but hopefully it would all blow over before that happened. She didn't keep an interest in any one human long, mostly just to play for a few days, possibly more – he heard of a time she had an interest in someone for several years at one point – and he hoped that he would be just as uninteresting to her as he was to the rest of the world. Not many people were fond of his taciturn behavior, but growing up in an orphanage had taught him that he was on his own. He didn't depend on anyone, and he didn't expect anyone to depend on him. That was that.

But…

"I need to get something to eat," he muttered to himself. He wouldn't think about the "but". He didn't want to think about how all of this would end. He knew that he had to do everything he could to please Her now. That his life was now supposed to be devoted only to Her. It was what was expected. Not only by Her, but by society as well. That's why no one would know She had talked to him. No one except those who it would affect.

He grabbed the television remote on his way to the kitchen, needing something to tune out these thoughts. They were the only things that floated around in his head anymore, and he was tired of dwelling on them. But what else was he to do? He had been left a very vague message from Her.

Live your life.

That was the only three words he thought had significance now and the phrase wouldn't leave him alone. It had sounded like She just wanted to see the many possible mistakes he could make. Never had he made any mistake dire enough to deem intriguing in any way. So did that mean something was supposed to happen soon? Even if it was, why did She bother contacting him in the first place?

"And it's been reported that there was a terrible accident on the roadways earlier today. Over to Selphie who's there to cover the story."

He looked up at the sound of the name Selphie, thinking of the girl that worked with him. Surprised was an understatement when he saw that it actually was her. He moved so that he could sit in front of the television, food forgotten.

"Good evening everyone!" Her voice sounded far too chirpy and cheerful for someone reporting the evening news. "We're here at Memorial Bridge where a support beam collapsed earlier today..." The noise droned on for a while and Leon just shook his head. They did say that the news always started with a "Good evening" then proceeded to tell you exactly why it wasn't. But still, why was Selphie there? Was it a temporary post that she was put on? Selphie was supposed to be working with him. He was one of her partners. So then why wasn't he on a job as well? For a moment, he entertained the notion of getting his phone out and calling to demand a reason he felt like he was being laid off, even when he was still receiving pay. But that wouldn't get them anywhere.

Flipping the channel, he stood up and made his way to the small kitchen adjacent to the living room, listening to the mindless infomercial as he went. It was better than thinking about reality for the moment.

He reached for the Hot Pocket in the freezer and put it in the microwave. All he had to do was sit here and listen to someone blabber about a product that more than likely didn't even work, then eat the food slowly rotating inside the microwave. Then sleep that wouldn't be interrupted again. He didn't want to hear from Her in his sleep, he didn't want to dream, he just wanted to feel unconscious for a few hours until daylight woke him up again.

Beep-beep.

Opening the door to the microwave, he grabbed the plate and went back to the living room and sat down on the couch, resting his feet on the small coffee table. He stared blankly at the screen for a few moments before finally taking a bite, immediately burning his tongue. Letting out a quiet curse, he placed the food back down and reached for the glass of water that was still in its place from earlier that morning.

It took him only a few moments to realize that he couldn't do this anymore. It was too much of an apple-pie life. Normally by the time he got home, he could barely remember where his clothes were, much less where a water glass had been sitting over twelve hours ago. He wasn't used to having enough free time to eat in front of the television – eating on the go was far more efficient – or to watch infomercials.

His phone was out in an instant.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Are there any open jobs down there?"

"…Leonhart?"

"I'm the only one you leave sitting around the god damned apartment. Care to tell me why my partners are currently on jobs and I'm stuck here?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line and Leon took the moment to flick off the television. He didn't need them knowing what he was watching to pass the time.

"Well, we sent Tilmitt and Dincht on solo missions and Kinneas is currently on vacation."

"Underclassmen don't do solo missions," Leon said, thinking about Selphie. They had probably lied to the news station about her age, but she was barely old enough to be out of college. Still considered too young to do anything alone. The true training program didn't start until around that time, and they made no exceptions. Zell was barely old enough to have completed the program with high enough scores to go on his own as well.

There was silence.

"You know what, just forget it. Let me talk to Cid." Cid was the boss of this whole thing, and if Leon wasn't going to get any direct answers, he'd press until he did.

"He's in a meeting right now, I don't think-"

"Tell him if he doesn't come to the phone right now that I'm quitting." It was a harsh motive, and at the moment one he didn't mind following through on.

This time there was no pause.

"He'll be here in a moment." Thought so. He only had to wait about thirty seconds before he felt another line pick up.

"Leon?"

"Cid. Tell me why all of a sudden I'm an untouchable."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"My team, Cid. When Selphie's on the night-time news, it's a bit hard to miss," he said, no longer caring if he was being callous or not. He wasn't going to sit around lightly twiddling his thumbs. He was tired of being some normal college student. He was only going for appearances anyway.

"You saw?" He sounded hesitant.

"I made this call, didn't I?" He felt bad when he heard the pause on the other line again and let out a soft sigh, unsure of Cid was able to hear it or not. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm being brash. But I can't just sit here and do nothing when there are jobs to be done."

"No, you have a right to be. People are just worried Leon."

"About what?"

"About Her."

Leon couldn't help but scowl, even if it wouldn't be seen.

"I haven't told anyone about it besides you and the people that I work in close proximity with."

"I… I don't want to get in Her way." Cid's scared of Her?

"So now that I'm Her bitch and not yours, I can't work? I haven't even heard from Her since the day before I talked to you. And I told you what she said. To live my life. I can't do that if I can't work, so you're going against what She says."

The silence was beginning to grow awkward. After a moment, all he heard was the soft clicking of keys.

"There's a mission in Dollet. Be at the airport tomorrow at noon." Leon hadn't realized he had been so tense until he felt his whole body relax at the promise of work.

"Cid?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you," he said before hanging up.