Me: Hello, viewers.

Gabby: This is a story Tana...

Me:Oh... you know I always wanted my own show!

Gabby: *sigh*

Bella: Why am I here?

Edward: Wait Bella's here?

Nessie: Dad? Mom? Who else is here?

Every single person from Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn: Me!

Me: *starts getting smiley*

Emmett: Who are you to think ou can keep us here? Come on Baby let's leave. *walks out door then magicly pops back in scary dark room with four doors and only two of those four doors are bathrooms*

Everyone: ? Like WTF ?

Me: *evil laugh* You do what every I tell you to do and that is why you can't defeat me!

Emmett: How did you do that?

Me: With my magical, sparkley, powerful... KEyboard of doom!

Nessie: Um... miss keyboard of doom lady, you capitalized the E on keyboard when you said it.

Me: quiet you! I knew that *goes back and changes it*

Jacob: Hey! Where are my clothes?

Edward: Nessie LOOK AWAY!

Me: *walks up to Edward* Edward, I'll give him his clothes if you'll kiss me... no if you make... no just kiss me.

Bella: *hisses*

Me: *glares* *Holds up firecracker* I will shove this down you throught after I light it!

Bella: Yeah right! I'm a vampire remeber? It wouln't hurt me!

Me: *rolls eyes* Firecracker go BOOM! Go fire and you go explody!

Edward: *crying*

Nessie: *snoring*

Charlie: Did you just say your a vampire?

Me: *falls on floor laughing* !

Bella: *looks around nervously* NO! Dad why would you think that?

Charlie: Can I leave?

Me: Mater of fact yes. Just give me a second. *types*

*Everyone exept the Cullens and close family friends, and Volturi, leave*

Cullens: What? Why don't we get to leave?

Me: Because I said so. Anymore questions?

Jacob: *raises hand*

Me: Since there are no questions. Nessie your bed is over there. Other hybrid dude your's is over there. Emmett your walking me home. Jasper come on... you to Edward.

All three: What?

Carlise and Esme: *trying to distract me*

Esme: Oh, I love this carpet you have in here.

Me: *glares* Your stalling... Oh and Ben your coming to!

Ben: Drat!

Tia: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Aro: Where did Gabby go?

Me: To text her boyfriend Jacob! *makes kissy faces*

Emmett: *laughing*

Alec: Tana?

Me: Yes?

Alec: Will you marry me?

Me: *glarers* I'm afraid I can't.

Alec: Why?

Me: Because my friend: xxxMe Myself and Ixxx; loves you!

Alec: I told her I will not be her mate!

Me: Yes you will!

Caius: *sigh*

Marcus: *sigh*

Aro: *sigh*

Me: If one more person sighs I'm going to use this lighter and burn Santiago where he stands!

Renata: Sorry Santiago. *smiles, sigh*

Me: Yeah! I get to burn someone!

Alice: Who is Santiago?

Jasper: IDK!

Gabby: I'm back!

Me: Now Emmett!

Me and Emmett: *Make kissy noises and kissy faces*

Everyone: laugh

Alice: This place is a mess! I shall tidy up! *starts walking around and cleaning and straitning things up*

Me: *follows Alice with can of Lysol spraying everything she toughes and messing everything up*

Gabby: Tana? Where are Jacob's clothes?

Me: Happy Birthday?

Gabby: *rolls eyes*

Stephenie Meyer: When are you going to tell them you don't own Twilight or any of these characters.

Me: But I do own Twilight!

Stephenie Meyer: Uhg! No you don't; I do!

Me: Stephie, come on. You gave it to me for my birthday.

Steph: NO! I did not give it to you!

Me: FINE! Ido not own Twilight! Happy?

Steph: Completley.

Me: *glares*

Steph: Fine I'll leave. But not without Edward.

Me: Okay.

*Edward and Steph leave*

Me: ...5...4...3...2...1...

*Edward pops back in*

Edward: Wha- I- Bu- UGH!

Me and Gabby: *giggles*

Jacob: Can I have my clothes back?

Me: Quiet dog. *pulls dress out of dresser*

Bella: You gave him a dress.

Me: I know. And why did you say him?

Everyone: *laughs*

Alice: Can you type me up a rack of clothes. I need to change. Oh and a dressing room would be nice too.

Me: Of course Alice. *rack of clothes pops up*

Alice: *squeals*

Emmett: What time is it?

Me: Um... *looks at watch* 6:30 pm. I gotta go. I'll miss you guys.

Rose: OMG! It's been over three hours since me and Emmett have had sex!

Carlise: *gagging*

Esme: *shocked*

Edward: *no emotion at all*

Nessie: EWWWWWW!

Me: What ever, here. *big room pops up in middle of the other big room for Emm and Rose* bye you guys, let's go Gabby.

Gabby: *mouthing: I'll miss you, to Jacob*

Me: Hey, I hope you guys liked this chapter, my first fanfic! OME! Sorry I burned that guy... anyway! Bye! !
Now go hit that review button! I dont mind flames, or just awesomeness mail!