She knew. As she lay listless across her bed, and Fiyero leafed through her book of poetry, she knew. As he found one he liked, one for Galinda, marked its place with a scrap of paper, and eagerly turned to the next page, she knew.
It wasn't trust, it wasn't comfort. She'd told herself that, though most girls were foolish and preening fans, she was not. He was lovely, clearly. Wonderful, handsome, athletic, and fun; she wasn't denying any of that. She simply wasn't like them. She was realistic, and was aware that she didn't stand a chance.
That's what she'd told herself.
But no, when she took the time to think it through, she knew the truth. His presence in her dorm room was welcome, warm. Just being near him felt safe, inviting, and, worst of all, the closest to being content that she'd ever experienced.
It wasn't because he was her dear friend, who didn't judge her for the colour of her skin. It wasn't the novelty of the atypical way he talked to her like she was a normal person.
She loved him.
She loved him endlessly, foolishly, with a loyalty, depth and breadth unforseen and unmatched.
"I should go," he said, and she knew then, too. She wished he would just stay the night. She wanted to sleep in the same room as him. She'd never been very good at sleeping; he would no doubt show her mind how to relax enough to drift off.
"Alright," she nodded.
"Only eighteen days," he smiled. "Galinda comes back in eighteen days."
Elphaba's stomach wanted to empty itself. She hoped her face was neutral. "Yes," she finally said.
"Aren't you excited?"
She nodded. She really was; she missed the little blonde, as much as she would deny it to anyone who dared ask. "Of course," she finally smiled.
When he was gone, she asked the Unseen God and the Kumbric Witch and the stars and her pillow WHY? It was unfair, it was so far beyond anything she'd be able to survive. Why did this have to be her truth, and why oh why did she have to know it? The truth may have set her free, but it also left her without shelter.
When he had gone, she allowed herself to do something she never, ever did. Elphaba flopped back onto her bed... and cried.