Disclaimer: Don't own any of them.

Spoilers: 6.17 – Garbage Island

Summary: Barney's thoughts throughout the episode.

I've been loving all these BR scenes, and despite the Nora addition I'm thinking something is up with BR since we haven't had nothing from them in forever and all of a sudden they are being forced down our throats.

Bittersweet

Damn Robin, tricking me into thinking I like this girl. It's like when you tell kids don't touch, they touch, and she says I can't say Nora without smiling… now it is impossible. She'd never believe the real reason the night was a disaster was because she wasn't there. That the whole night all I actually was thinking about was her and how that night was supposed to be ours. Sure, Nora was a good partner but it wasn't her place, not that night.

"Barney… Barney… Barney!" Robin was slightly yelling the last time in his ear.

"Huh?" He shook his head slightly. "What?"

"I bet you were just thinking about Nora." She replied with a smirk.

"No, no I wasn't." Not even close.

"Sure you weren't… you were gone and you had this cute little lovesick smile on your face." She smiled again. God, this woman is going to be the death of me.

"I did? Hmm. Totally a coincidence cause I certainly wasn't thinking about her."

"You like her." Robin responded is a sing-song like tone before turning back to Lily and Marshall. If only she knew I was sitting here having a chat with myself and it was all about her. Can she really be this clueless? And here I thought I was bad at picking up on things.

She looks so good, why did we split up again? Heh, she knows I'm reading her right now, she trying to hide the fact that she's enjoying me looking at her this way but it's not working, I see it, hell it's turning me on a little.

"Eighteen weeks."

"Dammit." She scoffs and starts rambling an explanation. I tune out though. I know, I'll proposition her, that'll work and so I do.

"You'll throw me one?" She looks at him with a raised eyebrow. Dammit, it didn't work. And now she's rambling about Nora again. Why on earth is she so bent on me getting with this chick? Better question though, why am I playing right into it? I know who I want and it's most definitely not a girl named Nora and yeah I would have thrown you one, hell more than one.

Really that joke, if you could even call it that, about Canada, not the least bit funny, but I know I smiled. Anyone else I would have made fun of but not her… well not this time anyway. I'm barely even listening to these conversations… wait did she just try to make Ted feel better about destroying another man's marriage. Wait why does that upset me? I don't care. I want to say something to that but no, I'll let her have her weird little thought to make him feel better.

I'm going to kill her. I don't know why but I went to that stupid café where Nora was supposed to be on her date and she wasn't there. Scherbatsky pulled a fast one on me and I'm not going to let her get away. Though I may have to figure out a few things before further action, I'm all twisted and confused, I don't like it. It has to stop. I say my piece and she give me Nora's number again. What the hell? Does she not understand I don't want it? She makes me break my phone, hindsight I really wish I'd been paying more attention; I didn't want to replace the phone just yet. And then she throws a curveball.

"Throw me one." Huh? I wasn't expecting that, maybe she's not as clueless as I thought. Now she's trying to be cute with the jokes regarding it, I accept the offer, she doesn't believe me. I'll call her bluff. She'll see.

Well I'm going over there. I told her the dragon will poke her and yes he will. He's going to destroy her.

"Give it to me." What? She's yelling at me. She's driving me insane. She's done helping me? Who the hell told her to in the first place? I don't need help finding another woman; I already found her… she's apparently nuts though. Fine Scherbatsky, I'll play your game. You want this so bad, you can have it and I change the play. "The number. Give me the number." The napkin I had was illegible, she making fun of me, she calls me an idiot. Part of me swells, everyone knows what idiot means in Robin speak, which makes all of this make even less sense but she insisted so I'll do it. I'll go after another woman; I'll play this stupid, stupid game even though I know how it will end, I saw it with Robin and Don, hell I lived it. You want to feel as low like I did when I realized… fine. I'll take your instruction to heart and I'll go get her just don't cry when you end up regretting it.