STAR WHORES
By Nick Leyva
It was a hot Tatooine afternoon for Luke Skywalker and his sister, Princess Leyva. The sun glistened off the sand like headlights off a bicycle. The sand dunes in the background blurred from the sweltering heat waves. The personal sail barge of the most notorious Hutt in the Galaxy, Jerick the Hutt, sailed slowly over the sand surface of the planet en route to the Sarlacc pit. It was here that he planned to feed Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Chewbacca to the endless stomach of the Sarlacc. The numerous thieves and bandits that traveled with Jerick moved about with enthusiasm for the day's events. The talk had grown above a murmur and was just below shouting level; such was the level of excitement.
"A Jedi! Jerick caught a Jedi!" a Bothan murmured to a Rodian. "Eh, I could catch a Jedi if I wanted," the Rodian replied.
The Sail Barge reached the Sarlacc pit and circled around to be on the opposite side of the pit as the skiff on which the prisoners were being held. As Luke, Han, and Chewbacca were made to stand up and walk to the edge of the skiff, a large cheer erupted from the audience.
Jerick the Hutt, with his bulbous, greasy body, sat by a window on his barge. His putrid smell filled the room. The room, unlike the hostile environment outside, was relatively cool. It resembled a bit of a cage with bars crossing every which way serving as walls. Chained to him was the beautiful, yet fierce, Princess Leyva, wearing only a shiny metal bikini. Jerick, in his deep, gravely, voice, said to Leyva in Huttese, "Princess, come over here. Let me take off your bikini." Leyva, her body language signaling that she was un-amused, didn't move, but rather turned her head and snapped back., "No, you fat pig. How many times do I have to tell you? The day I sleep with you is the day Triton fistfucks the Little Mermaid."
Jerick was not used to groveling.
"Princess, I'm an icon in the smuggling community."
"Shove it, toad face."
The cheering outside grew louder, something was happening. Jerick was uninterested, and fed up. He had asked her to sleep with him, and she had said no. His kindness wore thin. He used his thick chubby arms to grab Leyva's chain and pull on it. Leyva stumbled a bit and turned to see Jerick slowly pulling her towards him. Leyva tried pushing against the floor to counteract Jerick's pulling, but she knew it was no use. Jerick got what Jerick wanted, and with an ego like that, there was no saying no. Jerick, having pulled Leyva's face right up next to his, stuck out his giant tongue and began to lick Leyva's face. Leyva pushed away, but there was no point in struggling. If Jerick wasn't given what he wanted, he would take it. The slimy Hutt reached around to Leyva's back and began to unclasp her metal bra…
Suddenly, the flares of a jetpack illuminated the room, and an armored man burst in through the window. He quickly shot Jerick in the tail, and while he recoiled, the man grabbed Leyva, shot the chain imprisoning her, and ran to the other side of the room with her.
The armor on the man, although thick, still clearly showed the well defined muscles underneath. He clearly had taken the care to make sure he was a top psychical specimen. Leyva felt a tightening in her metal bikini, which was strange, because until she was thought to have female genitalia. Sweat poured down her body, such was her state of arousal. She unlatched the mask of the man that had saved her, removed it, and gasped at his beauty. The dark wisps of his hair came down to just above the eyes on his impish face. His nose delicately curved on his face; the color of creame. His eyes had a bit of deviousness to him, and his mouth looked large enough to accommodate the largest of objects. Leyva couldn't see it, but she sensed that underneath the armor he was wearing some very trendy and expensive clothes. He smiled, and her world melted. She knew of this man who had saved her: she had seen him before on wanted poster on Alderaan. He was certainly the most beautiful boy in the galaxy. He was the most famous bounty hunter in the Outer Rim: Boba Fetienne.
Suddenly, but with delicacy, Boba turned Leyva around, ripped off her metal bikini and started plowing the shit out of her. Leyva started to cry; all of her dreams had come true.
Jerick, sitting as a horrified witness to all this, slithered over towards them, leaving a trail of slime behind him. Boba and Leyva saw him moving towards them. Thinking quickly, Fetienne turned Leyva towards the Hutt and started pounding her harder. As the Hutt grew closer, so grew the furiosity of the penetration. Leyva could finally feel Jerick breathe on her face; her body tensed and Fetienne released her from his penal grasp, and pulled her backwards. Princess Leyva's semen flew up and into Jerick's eye. As he was reeling from the shot, Boba grabbed the chain attached to the Princess' foot and together they ran around Jerick with it, catching it around his neck. The slug sputtered, and started to choke. Fetienne and Leyva met on the other side and started making out to the acoustic sounds of Jerick being strangled to death.
Suddenly, the choking stopped. Jerick the Hutt got a quizzical look on his face and then said, "Hmm, do you think it would be inappropriate to walk up to a 12 year old girl and say to her, 'Yo trick, yo pussy is ripe for pounding'?". Fetienne pulled his tongue out of Leyva's mouth and cocked his head towards him. There was a brief pause, before the Princess responded, "I think it's alright. You know, that's what my father said to me all the time before he took me. Where do you think all my babies came from?" Fetienne turned his head back to the Princess. "What babies?" he asked.
….
….
The Princess had never heard Boba Fetienne's voice up until this point, and she wondered why no one had ever told her that he represented the lollipop guild.
….
….
"These babies!" exclaimed the Princess as she stripped off her bra. Instead of normal breasts, like humans have, she had mounds of baby parts sticking out of her chest. It was a grotesque concoction of arms and legs and eyes and noses, all lumped onto protruding mounds of flesh. The limbs all squirmed and writhed, grasping for the air. Shocked by the sudden light, the eyes all closed and the mouths started yelling and crying out. Boba Fetienne started making out with one of the breast baby mouths. He wondered exactly where it was that his tongue was going. He quickly put the thought out of his mind, as it is hard to be an incorrigible slut and also question your morals at the same time.
Jerick the Hutt, seizing on the others' distraction time, slithered over and grabbed Boba by the arm. Boba, enjoying his infant mammary gland makeout session, refused to be distracted by the Hutt pulling viciously on his arm, until the baby mouth he was enjoying bit down viciously on his tongue. Blood seeping out of his mouth, he quickly realized that his arm was about to be pulled from it's socket, and that he would need to do something immediately if he wished to have his arm in the future!
Fetienne pulled out his cell phone and slowly dialed a number. Luckily it was Jesus'. The rapture happened; Jesus came back and killed all three of them for being homosexuals.
End of times, revelations, apocalypse, etc. etc.
………………………………………….…fin