Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the Twilight characters. I merely try to show people parts of the story that Stephenie Meyer didn't include in her books.
Why? Why did he have to leave? Was I really that bad to be around? Was I that horrible? Why couldn't he love me? What was wrong with me? What did I do to make him go away? This was one of the rare moments that I thought about the Cullens, especially Ed—him.
I was barely aware of the salty tears pouring down my face. I tried not to think about them anymore. I truly tried. To distract myself, I even turned on the radio, to one of my fav—old favorite stations. He had corrupted my favorite music. We had the same taste in music; any and every song that I loved, he did too. But, it was automatic for me, to switch to his favorite, our favorite station.
Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take,
Couldn't I do anything without thinking about him? My every thought was about him, my every breath was for him, in the inane hope that maybe, he cared. Maybe, he would come back. Maybe, just maybe…
Every minute no matter what I do
My world is an empty place
I tried to distract myself with school, cooking, sleeping. Nothing works. I am empty inside.
Like I've been wanderin' the desert
For a thousand days
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby
Whenever I close my eyes, all I can see is his perfect face. His topaz eyes, his perfect lips, his strong jawbone. Sometimes it is him in the meadow with me, his marble skin glistening like diamonds. Sometimes it's him leaving, his unreadable expression, his cold, distant eyes.
I'm missing you so much,
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
I would never stop loving him. Not even for one second in my life, my existence.
The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind
I had seen approached a stray pit bull literally 2 days after I had pulled myself together. Danger magnet, remember? I laughed bitterly once at the thought. I thought I had seen him, heard his soft, velvety voice telling me to back away slowly, not to alert it to my presence.
Can't you hear me calling?
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling
I wish he was here to catch me from falling, like he always did. But this time, the falling was not because of my clumsiness. I could almost feel myself slipping back into the depression that had nearly killed Charlie.
It's like the ground is crumbling underneath my feet
Won't you save me?
There's gonna be a monsoon
When you get back to me
I'm missing you so much,
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
So let this drought come to an end
And may this desert flower again
I need you here, I can't explain
But a day without you
Is like a year without rain
I couldn't explain my love for him. Even though he had left me alone in the forest, I needed him here. I would never not need him.
I'm missing you so much,
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
I couldn't take it anymore. Every second I was reminded of them—of him. It took me over three hours, but I managed to pry the radio out and stuff it into a black garbage bag that was lying around. After I was done, I took a moment to compose myself, and went inside to resume my lifeless existence.
A/N: So, how was it? I realize that most of my stories are kind of depressing, but that's just how I roll. Not that I don't love a good HEA. But, real life doesn't always have a happily ever after, and I realized that at an early age. But my next story will most likely be happy. I'm trying to expand my horizons and all. So, R&R?