I do not own twlight or yu yu hakusho for if i did hiei would be all mine and jacob black would had got the girl of his dreams not a baby. I want to give a major shout out to my beta I'mWithTheBandGirl. You are a great help and you did a great job ob this into thanx my dear sweet friend. =^.^=

Chapter Eighteen: Left Behind

I had seen it all in the mind of the pixie bitch! All of it! "AHHH!" I screamed, letting out some of my frustration and anger.

"That's it, I'm done! I quiet!" I yelled, as I paced the small bedroom that I shared with my older cousin.

So that was when I decided that tonight was the night I would retreat partly into myself. And since no one was here, I decided to let out all of the pain, agony and betrayal that I have been holding inside ever since the day I arrived here from Japan.

In a gut wrenching, heartbreaking cry, that could be heard for miles in this small town, I let all of myself be exposed. I was emotionally naked and raw for the world to see.

I thanked god that Uncle Charlie was out hunting for wolves, he will never find. Oh, but then I remembered that one of his best friends, Harry Clearwater had just died from a massive heart attack.

I shook my head at the foolishness of my actions. Everything I had done up until now was a sham. A sham to help my cousin live. Every smile, every laugh was all for her. I'm such a good liar that I even fooled a vampire. I should take up acting after all the shit hit's the fan. Hmmm… I guess he thought of me well.

Now you may ask why I did what I did, well that's easy! She was broken just like me. From the inside out. We all handle things differently because, every person is different. Her a zombie state, me nonchalant.

We shared a common pain that I would have loved to help her forget because, I could never forget mine. I let mine make me bitter and hateful at times. But only when I know I'm about to brake. So that's when I decided that enough is enough.

Believe it or not, I did help her a little. Very little, but enough. I shared my story with her and held my pain in as I told it. Despite the invisible knife going through my heart at the time. But there is a down side to this. I was not counting on gaining a crush on Jacob Black.

What sucked was that she held his heart and still does. Even though I like Jake and I'll never forget him. Even if I live one lifetime, or one hundred lifetimes, I will never forget him. Even if I wanted to I couldn't. He was extremely special to me and truthfully, he will always be. No matter what. But what eats at me is with all the work that, that wolf did on Bella he never thought, not even once, that I might need the same help. Nor did he think that I was going through the same exact pain.

Nooo! He followed her around like a good little doggy should. With his head up her ass every chance he got. And I even went as far as to not make eye contact with him once I figured out he phased. I knew it the day we saw him in the rain. Thank God I always carry sunglasses with me. The kind that even supernatural beings can't see through with their enhanced sense's. I had to do it because, I was bored one night with nothing to do, 'cause Bella was still in her zombie state.

With nothing to do, I saw a book on her desk called The Quileute Legends. And my curiosity got the better of me, so I read it. I found out that my cousins first love was a vampire. But as I was saying, I read about the wolves and imprinting. And so, I have not made any eye contact with Jacob since he's changed.

I looked in the eyes of all the other wolves and nothing happened. But knowing our luck, and all the hell the three of us have been through, I wouldn't doubt that fate would screw us all over, yet again. And besides… I know he loves Bella. He wouldn't want it and truthfully neither did I.

The only male I wanted stomped my heart out and burnt it to ashes. As soon as I thought of him and the fact that everyone around me thinks that I'm just fan-fucking-tastic. That I'm the big girl out of the two of Us. With these thoughts a whole new feeling entered my soul, rage.

When the rage hit I felt my body heat up and a vortex of feelings rain through me all at once. Hate, envy, pain, darkness and angst. With all these emotions in play, and my body trembling from the sheer pain of them all, I figured what the hell.