AN: Those who are looking for an update to my last SVU story, sorry, but I have writer's block. So, if you want to wait until that goes away or give me some ideas feel free. I don't know how the story is going to end, but I do know certain parts that I want in the story. I already have a significant other for a character, but I'm not telling whom and that's all I remember right now.
Also, this story is a mixture of a recent idea and something I wrote months ago, but never posted it. It includes loves quotes that I found on the Internet. The quotes are italicized and will be written through out the story. Also, I have the lyrics from a No Doubt song called "Don't Speak". The lyrics are bold.
Now on with the show—story I mean…You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know
Olivia looked at Elliot as he matched her stare back. It felt awkward to be around him now. So much has happened since she has came back from being undercover. They sat in an uncomfortable silence eating cookies and drinking milk, which was quiet unusual because it was two in the morning and New York's finest usually got their sleep if they could help it. Olivia didn't know how to connect to the man who used to be her best friend—who is her best friend. Their conversation has been strained lately, but it has always been like that after big events, such as, the trial that was only two weeks ago and Kathy's pregnancy. Eliot looks as if he has been distancing himself from her and there was nothing the Liv could do about it. Elliot Stabler was a determined man and a family man. Those two together made her defenseless to do anything to get him back. No, Olivia has never had him, but she thought that she at least had his affections and what ever she had of that was now gone.
Elliot would do anything to keep his marriage together and Liv knew that.
In the best way possible you've wrecked me because you see, I fell in love with you knowing there was no chance of being with you. – Unknown
Why did life have to be so complicated? At first, she was uninterested in Elliot, but overtime he grew on her. The little banter that they always did became special to her and his rough tenderness is something that she looked forward to. She just wanted to be his friend, but that man just made it impossible. He couldn't just have her friendship he wanted her heart to.
Love is blind, but friendship closes it's eyes- unknown
"El, tomorrow I'm going to find a hotel to stay at. I don't mean to impose on you or anything, but I needed somewhere to stay for tonight." Olivia said after she drank her milk, and then looked at Elliot. He was eating the store bought cookie as if it was homemade. His eyes were closed as he slowly licked the crumbs off of his lips, and then without looking he put another cookie in his mouth. Detective Benson was in a trance. Elliot repeated this process again: putting a cookie in his mouth, slowly chewing, swallowing, and licking the crumbs from his lips. Olivia would've volunteered to lick the crumbs from his lips if he let her.
"No you're not." Elliot said in a no sense voice and in all seriousness. The one where that he reserves for criminals that thought they had gotten away with a crime when they actually didn't. The one where he had the final say even though you voiced the words vocally, but he did it with his actions.
"Why is this Detective Stabler?" The atmosphere in the room began to warm up and Olivia felt the man she used to know presence near.
"Because you're like family, Liv, and family don't stay in hotels. Besides, you have to pay a thing and Kathy makes a mean omelet among other things." He looked sincere; it broke Liv's heart.
A mighty pain to love it is, and tis a pain that a pain to miss, but of all the pains, the greatest is to love, but love in vain. – Abraham Crowley
"Alright." She gave him a genuine smile, and then silence swallowed the room whole. Liv couldn't help, but to think back to the old times where her and Elliot spent a lot of time together. They would sit and talk for hours while sipping cold coffee, but they didn't care; all they needed was each other…but that was back then and this is now. The reality of what they used to be was now fading away and all Olivia had was memories. Memories of what used to be and what could never be.
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
but, some are altogether
mighty frightening
as we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
"What did you mean by what was I going to do?" Elliot asked out of the blue.
"Umm…well, at the time Kathy and you were having marital problems. You've never volunteered information about your marriage and the little that you have told me has been iffy, so I wanted to know where you stood when it came to your family. I wanted to know if you were going back home or if Kathy and you were still separated. In a way, your personal life isn't my business, but at the same time it is, you know. I'm not only your partner I'm also your best friend and when a major event happens I would like to help you through them." Olivia was very careful at how she answered Elliot's question because the wrong answer always led to a series of uncomfortable questions that would led to the contents of Olivia's heart. "Why do you ask?"
"It's nothing." Elliot waved his hand as if the scoot the problem away.
"It has to be something if you took the time out to ask me, so what is it?" Olivia wasn't letting this one go. She was tired of him always accusing and pointing fingers, and then expecting her to let things go.
"I thought that you were asking whether or not—I don't know, but I thought that you were suggesting an abortion or something." Elliot ran a hand through his head.
"Elliot, I would expect that you knew me better than that. Even if I were to suggest that to anyone it wouldn't be you. I know your beliefs and I respect that." Small gentle hands reached out towards a bigger rough one and grabs it softly.
"Sorry for being an ass lately, Liv. I guess you could figure out what my attitude was about."
"What are you talking about, El, you're always and ass." Elliot rolled his eyes and smile. "A lovable one at that."
"We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh." -- Agnes Repplier
"I never did congratulate you." Olivia said off handedly. "Congrats."
Elliot shook his head and laughed softly as he finished off his cookies. "Do you want the rest of you milk?"
Before Olivia could answer Elliot took her milk and began to drink it.
"How are you going to ask me if I want my milk, and then drink it before I can answer." Elliot shrugged as he wore his interrogation face and Liv laughed.
"So, do you still want it?" The cup was touching Elliot's lips, but he wasn't drinking the milk.
"I don't know because usually when people ask for something they wait for an answer and I haven't given you mine yet."
"I know that and I know you also. You don't want your milk anymore." Elliot tilted the cup and slowly began to drink.
"You don't know me as well as you like to think because I do want my milk." Olivia snatched the cup out of Elliot's grasp and finished off the drink. Milk had spilled on Elliot when Olivia snatched the cup. Laughter filled the room.
"What's so funny?" Olivia asked as Elliot took so napkins out of the napkin holder and wiped her upper lip.
"You had a milk mustache...it looked good on you." He licked his lips and looked at her as if he saw something more than the day before. Everything became so beautifully intense and for some reason Olivia liked the feeling…she welcomed it. If your eyes are the windows to your soul, Olivia could see everything that this troubled man was feeling. Elliot pushed a strand of hair behind Liv's ear, and then his hand lingered there for a moment. Olivia could feel that Elliot was contemplating his next move.
"Close you eyes." And she did as Elliot told her to. His tone was a husky whisper filled with want. Big firm hands caressed Olivia along her jaw line, until he stopped at her chin. Slowly, his hand traveled up from her chin to her mouth and stopped there. Elliot cupped her cheek with his hand, and then ran his thumb over her lips back and forth. Liv's were soft, moist, and begged to be touched by his, but instead she felt a pair of lips on her forehead. A moment later, she no longer felt his presence. A lone teardrop fell down Olivia's face.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends in a teardrop- Anonymous
Elliot's actions the night before had confused Olivia. He claimed that he wanted his family back, but yet he pulled something like that last night. Or was it that she was reading too much into nothing…could be. But, she couldn't get him out of her mind and this wasn't something new. Olivia could never get this man out of her head. He invaded her dreams, everyday life, and heart.
If you cant get someone out of your head maybe its because they are supposed to be there
"Olivia, do you have any suggestions for breakfast?" Kathy said in her usual voice as she opened the blinds in the living room. "How about you get washed up and dressed while I cook breakfast? You know, I cook a mean."
Olivia snapped her head to look at Kathy. "Oh, really?"
"Yes, among other things."
L&O: SVU
Olivia was freshly washed and clothed as she waited for her breakfast. Kathy had already fixed the kids omelets and they were currently eating it as Olivia waited for hers. Elliot rushed into the kitchen while fixing his tie and putting on his jacket at the same time.
"I don't have any time to sit down and eat." Elliot said as he took a couple quick bites of his foods, and then gave Kathy a kiss. He turned to leave, but doubled back to give and her and her stomach a kiss also. "Love you."
"Love you, too." Kathy said as she gave him a peck on the cheek as he pulled away to leave.
"Bye, Liv." Elliot slowed down as he walked and said, "Boy this is going to be a strange week."
The worst thing about loving you is watching you love someone else
"Elliot, wait up!" Olivia exclaimed as she called after him. Elliot was about to pull off in his car.
"Liv, I have to go."
"I know, but I wanted to tell you this, so you wouldn't have to find out the wrong way." Olivia said quickly as Elliot got into the car.
"What is it?" His voice was calm, but worried. "Anything I should know?"
"Just that I won't be staying here."
"Liv…I know." This was what it all came down to. It was the inevitable end and they both knew it from the beginning. The truth may have been unspoken, but they still knew of it—everyone did. "You don't understand…"
"Shush, Elliot. I know the truth, but I rather not hear it." Olivia walked back into the Stabler residence.
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
so please stop explaining
don't tell me cause it hurts
don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
don't tell me cause it hurts
I guess for the longest I've been searching for someone to love. It's no secret that I didn't experience much love in my life…even in childhood. I may not admit it, but I consider myself a damsel in distress and I need saving. I thought that Elliot could be my knight in shining armor, but I was foolish. He's a married man that is dedicated to his family and whatever feelings that he has for me has been put on the back burner. Or it will just have to wait for another lifetime when neither us are taken. I know that the feelings I have are mutual, but they can never be returned. As sad as that sounds, I am willing to accept that. I'm used to being left in the cold. Elliot may have had a choice in this, but it was only one true answer and the rest were just…there. My love for Elliot will never leave, but I have to move on.
"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, and an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
-Unknown
THE END!!!!
I don't really like this story that much compared to the first one, but I needed to write something. I seriously support Elliot and Olivia being together, but I wanted to write something that didn't evolve people hooking up or whatever, but they always could in the future…distant. There's another one-shot along these lines.
