Prologue

"Don't Listen to Me"

"It's... It's not fair!" I said, trying to keep my trembling voice down. Inside, I wanted to scream. "Why do I have to go? My friends are all here."

"It's just for a few months, dear." Mom said, eating her cereal and reading her mag.

I threw my spoon on the table and stood up. "Mom!"

She looked up, her eyes cold but piercing. "Don't talk to me like that." Mom also stood up. "Where'd you learn your manners?"

My eyes and my throat burned and I felt my hands fly to my face. "M-may I be excused?" I whimpered, blinking furiously to keep the tears down.

She sat down again and nodded, just as my dad came in, wondering what the hell was happening.

I didn't wait to hear the rest, running awkwardly up the stairs to my room.

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"I'm leaving, Asya." I whispered into the phone. I hated to cry but here I was, sobbing my heart out to my best friend. I wished I wouldn't cry for every little thing.

"What?" came her voice. She stopped crunching her chips. "What do you mean?"

"Dad's company is moving him to Japan!" I said, my voice getting higher and higher by each word until it was shrill and whiney at the end.

Silence filled the phone and static crackled through the phone lines.

"No…way…" Asya whispered hoarsely, almost with disbelief. "No fair! You get to go to Japan?!"

I heard her sigh and mumble, "You get to do everything."

Unbelievable, I thought. "Asya! I'm LEAVING. I'm leaving my friends, my school, and my home. Don't you care?"

Asya started eating her chips again and the crunching irritated me so much all of a sudden. "You make it sound like a bad thing. I mean, Japan! Hel-lo?" she said. "JAPAN! Think of the opportunities! It's not like you're never coming back right?"

"You d-don't listen to m-me, do you?" I cried, while anger filled my heavy throat. I stumbled over the words because my tongue felt thick.

"What the hell?" Asya screamed back. "What's wrong with you? I'm trying to be helpful here."

"Well, you're crap at that!" I shouted and hung up. Well, Asya's definitely not my best friend anymore.

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I visited Jordan next. I must have looked terrible with my hair flat and messy, eyes sore and red from crying, skin all blotchy. But nonetheless, Jordan smiled when he opened the door.

His eyes examined me up and down with concern. "Are you alright, Sasha?" he asked.

I had to tell him straight out, but my words rushed into each other, "I'm moving to Japan. It's for a few months--"

"Wait, what?" His smile curved downwards into a frown and he looked genuinely distressed. I realized that I truly loved him, right then and there.

With that realization, I started to cry all over again.

He took me into an embrace and we stood there, on the porch for a while. His sweater smelled like sweet and spicy cologne, exactly like the cologne I bought for him last Christmas. His arms surrounded me and mine wrapped around his body as if we were two perfect pieces of a puzzle.

"Are you sure?" he said after a while. He cleared his throat once and ran one hand across his soft, spiky locks of hair.

I nodded sadly, wondering why he would think I'd lie about something like this.

He sighed, and he kissed me. There in his arms, I felt safe. But I knew this feeling was going to end.

His gentle kisses suddenly changed and our teeth clashed. His tongue softly tapped my front teeth so I opened my mouth a little, leaning forward on my tippy-toes. Our tongues entwined and held there.

I pulled away, breathing in some air.

"I have to go pack," I choked, wiping my raw, red eyes. "I'll--I'll..."

"I'll miss you." he said for me, taking my hands in his.