Patrick Jane sat in his aristream, his head pressed against the wall and his legs raised up on his small and narrow bed.
He'd tried for a nap but try as he might, he couldn't shut his brain off to the fact that one Teresa Lisbon was currently on a date with her boyfriend. The fact disturbing his thoughts more than that though, was that she was actually considering moving States to live with this boyfriend.
Jane took some spiteful pleasure in thinking of him of as "just" her boyfriend. It seemed such a juvenille term, at least compared to the the term "partner" which is what he and Lisbon were, in a professional capacity at least.
He took pride in the fact his and Lisbon's relationship had withstood far much more than her relationship with this new guy who had come along just at the right time to skip all the trials and tribulations.
But then, for as much pride as he took in this, it also dismayed him, for he knew that much of the struggle they had faced together was broguht about by his own doing.
The slow minutes of the hot Texas afternoon ticked by as Jane's thoughts continued to flow around his dear Lisbon.
He had been referring to her as "his" for quite some time now, and he realized how much he had abused that privilege.. Now he was afraid that the realization had come too late, and in the form of a certain Agent Pike.
Pike's appearance, and Lisbon's reeceptiveness toward him had thrown Jane. He had taken for granted her devotion to him and the exclusiveness of it.
She was a beautiful woman. He almost felt he needn't acknowledge that, as it was just a fact. And of course she deserved a personal life, she deserved happiness and he truly wanted happiness for her.
Even if it meant her happiness was the cause of his grief.
Jane glanced out his window just in time to catch a robin hovering beside it, as if the little bird was intrigued by him and his plight.
Jane watched the robin intently until it flew off again through the air. Brighter skies to swim through. Happier sights to view.
And it served as a metaphor for his partner. Lisbon had prospects, she had the chance for a future to be happy with. Too long had she spent watching the sad sight of Jane and his vengance. Jane and his his grief, his childishness, his pettines and petulance. Happiness, light and love had come from him only in barely-there doses.
And now someone else was taking it upon themselves to offer those things to her that he had not been able to. Or perhaps, worse than that, that he just had not.
He found himself boiling with the need to approach her about all of this. And so before the next breeze of Austin air had blown past his window, he found himself taking leave of his senses and making his way to her home.
It was unlike them to call on each other for social visits, especially nowadays. He cringed as he rounded the corner to her street and realized that there was a high probability that Marcus might, at this moment, be there with her.
But strangely, it only stirred him on.
He walked slowly, as usually he did, up the steps of her front porch. It was a lovely home she had created for herself here, and he took a moment to be stunned that he even knew where to come. She must have told him her address at some point, but he had never actually been here.
He was quite sure he had a memory palace where only details pertaining to his once named, "Angry Little Princess" lived.
He stopped himself from peering into the window. He wouldn't snoop. If Pike was there, he would find out when someone answered the door. The thought of catching the two of them in an intimate situation made him physically sick anyway.
His knuckles rapped softly on the door and he folded his hands behind his back, anxiously waiting.
And then she appeared before him, looking relaxed and surprised to see him.
"Jane, what are you doing here? Are you OK?
He wasn't OK, but it killed him hearing her ask that. She had become something of a protector over him. He may have been old fashioned but, he considered it the role of the male in the relationship to protect, or at least have it be a two way street. But he knew he had put her in danger many more times than he had protected her.
"This is a lovely place you have here Teresa, very instantly evaded her.
She frowned at him. "Thanks, but that doesn't answer my question. What's going on?"
She was hasty, even hostile and Jane couldn't help but retaliate just a little. "I'm sorry, are you busy?"
"Well, not right now, no, but..."
"Pike here?" He cut her off, unable to hold the question in any longer.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "No, he left about half an hour ago, dropped me home after- you know what, I don't need to talk to you about this. Now could you please tell me what you came here for?"
Jane drew a deep breath, his eyes widening hypnotically. "The things I'm about to say won't be fair to you, but as usual, I'm going to ask you to listen to them anyway."
Lisbon took a step back. "Well that's a great opening", she snarked.
Jane dipped his eyes for a moment, summoning the modicum of courage he had within him. "I don't want you to move to D.C."
She fixed him with stare that started warm but turned cold very quickly.
"Please don't move with him", Jane said, making himself clearer.
Lisbon's mouth parted slightly. She wanted to scream at him for waiting so long to talk to voice his opinions on this. As if her decision to move states and change her life was so utterly trivial.
"Why are you only bringing this up now? I asked you what you thought about the move weeks ago and you told me I should go ahead. Why are you suddenly changing your mind?"
"I said if you were happy then I was happy. I still feel that way, but I wish you could be...He stilled, chickening out slightly. "I just want you to consider all of your options."
"What other options do I have?" She asked him, her eyes hopeful, her voice desperate.
He ducked his head to the side, tucking his chin slightly into his shoulder. "Stay here and keep working with us. We've got a good team going, we're becoming a strong unit."
Lisbon laughed shortly. "You're only here because you have no other choice."
Jane smiled rather coyly. "Oh Lisbon, you should know by this point that if I really didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be. I'm here because you're here", he shuffled on his feet, Lisbon had not seen him this nervous in years.
He seemed to change tactic when he next spoke. "When Red John was killed, it didn't bring people back to me, it didn't return the love that I had lost."
Lisbon's eyes raked over his face, a mixture of condolence and confusion flicked across them.
"But I was free and freedom changed me. I ran from responsibilty because at the time, that was easiest. When I struck that deal with Abbot, you were at the top of my list of demands because being imprisoned would have been hard, but to have to go on living in freedom without you?" He winced. "In prison I would have had no choice, no contact with the outside world, but having options, knowing you were attainable but that I couldn't see you, that would have eaten me up inside."
Lisbon was slightly stunned. His words were almost teetering on romantic. In Patrick Jane standards at least.
"Now, I could lie and tell you that Marcus isn't good enough for you or that your team here would suffer in your absence, both of which may well be true, but the real truth of it is that I would simply miss you too much."
Lisbon's jaw stiffened while he continued. "It's a selfish, undignified reason, but it's the truest thing I have ever told you."
Lisbon shook her head somberly. "Well I don't doubt that."
"I couldn't bear it if you left."
The word "me" hung in the air like smoke, choking both of them.
She stamped her foot on the wood of her front porch. "I'm just so tired of hearing these empty words that never seem to really mean anything coming from you."
He looked crestfallen, but accepting of her statement. She continued.
"If you ever showed any real interest in acting on the words then things might be a bit different."
He swallowed. "What exactly do you mean?
Lisbon closed her eyes, the sadness crawling across every one of her features. 的f you don't know by now Jane then I doubt you ever will, and you know what? I'm too tired for this right now, so I need to say goodnight.."
Jane could hardly believe it when she turned and retreated inside her home.
"Lisbon, wait...Teresa!"
He had never known her to simply withdraw, to give up. Especially not when it came to him. Usually, she would fight and argue with him, trying to prove a point that she really knew she could never make.
It startled Jane for a moment, realizing just how terrible he had been, making her do that over and over again. Allowing her to exhaust herself in return for him shutting her down, just so he could have the chance to be clever.
He couldn't think of an act of his own that would be paralelled to anything like the things she had done for him. The sacrifices she had made for his benefit. The risks she had taken. He was unworthy of all of it.
"If you ever showed any real interest in acting on the words then things might be a bit different."
If her words meant what he thought they might, it was an incredibly brave thing for her to say. Not just because she was currently in a relationship with another man, who had offered her a good life, something Jane had never presented to her; but also because he really had given her no tangible evidence that it was, in fact, the very thing he wanted most.
Which, of course, it was.
Jane berated himself internally. What was he doing with his life if not allowing himself and her the opportunity to realize a desire he knew he had long held, and, if his powers of observation had not been misleading him, she had been holding as well.
He had let her down too many times, given her more than enough reason to give up on him. She deserved happiness and she had grown to believe that there was no possible way she would ever find that with Jane. She could almost convince herself that Marcus could. Almost, but not fully. And while their was still a modicum of doubt there, Jane knew he had a chance.
After all, hadn't her earlier comment practically screamed that at him? She wanted him to change her mind. She wanted him to act.
All that he could bring himself to do in that moment was to reach her, regardless of any physical or emotional defenses she had put in his way.
He raised his leg in the air and kicked open her door.
"Jane, what the hell!" Lisbon jumped back in surprise, it appeared she had been leaning against the wall next to her door which was now swinging on its hinges beside her..
Jane couldn't help but smile for just a second. There was his Angry Little Princess.
He strode forward and in three steps he had her in his arms and was kissing her like he knew he should have been kissing her for years.
Her mouth began to move beneath his and he smiled again, reaching around to caress the soft curls of her raven hair.
After no less than thirty seconds, he released her and she blinked up at him with the eyes of a doe.
"I can't believe you broke down my door", she said breathlessly
Jane shrugged, brushing off his unexpected show of masculinity. "Yeah, actually I can't believe how easy it was. I would have thought an FBI agent would something a little more secure."
Lisbon's eyes lit up in an all too ready fire that he had missed. He cut her off before her thoughts could be voiced though. "But don't worry, I will fix it. I'm quite the handyman, you know."
Lisbon's lips curled upwards in a smile she could not quite contain. "No, actually I didn't know that."
"No? How could that be? What have our conversations consisted of if not things like my expert carpentry skills?"
"Oh, you know, mostly murder and stuff ", she toyed with him, still shaking herself internally at the realization that he'd finally taken some action and kissed her.
"Well, I think I will from now on, be mostly centering our relationship on a different kind of crime... Theivery. For you, Teresa Lisbon, have stolen my heart."
Lisbon snorted. "Of all the crazy things you have ever said, that is by far the corniest."
Jane eyed her in that way she could tell he was seeing deep beneath her surface. "Well if you don't want me to say corny things, you may just have to shut me up."
Her eyes twinkled at him before she pulled his lips to her own, consuming him with joy and with hope.
When they pulled apart again, she hummed. "I should have learned that trick years ago."
Jane's eyes caught hers in a stare that was as serious as when he used to describe his plans for Red John. It scared Lisbon a little, until he opened his mouth and said "Teresa...I love you."
Within the next few seconds, they had fallen to the couch, limbs already entwining, bodies pressed against pillows, mouths pressed against mouths as she whispered back. "I love you too Patrick."