Cartoon Network Laff-A-Lympics
By Technomaru
Chapter 1. Meet the Stars!
Note: I DEFINATELY do not own all these characters and all the shows they came from. If I did then this show would be a reality!
The reason why this is listed as a "Adventure Time" fanfic is because Finn and Jake are co-captains of the team that represents New Cartoon Network, and Lumpy Space Princess is the co-announcer that took Mildew Wolf's job while Muscle Man got Snagglepuss' job... and Ice King is a member of the "Really Rottens".
If anyone gets ticked about the roster of the teams then hear me out... I'm Sorry!
In September 10, 1977, Hanna Barbera spoofed of the Olympics and the ABC television series Battle of the Network Stars. It featured 45 Hanna-Barbera characters organized into the teams (the Scooby Doobies, the Yogi Yahooeys, and the Really Rottens) which would compete each week for gold, silver, and bronze medals. That show was called "Laff-A-Lympics"
Today, Technomaru wondered why hasn't Cartoon Network revived this series but use 45 characters straight from Cartoon Network's past and present to compete for the gold, silver, and bronze medals.
And so... THE CN LAFF-A-LYMPICS BEGINS!
Mitch Sorenstein otherwise known as "Muscle Man" shows up along with Lumpy Space Princess in their Yellow Coats as they start speaking to the readers:
Muscle Man: Check this out, we got the jobs that Snagglepuss and the wolf from that old cartoon show had.
Lumpy Space Princess: Mitch, I belive you're like, referring to Mildew Wolf from "Here comes the Wolf"! Well anyway I'm like, Lumpy Space Princess... and that green lump is Mitch Sorenstein, and we're here to like introduce you the teams competing in the games.
Muscle Man: That's right Princess, our first time representing Cartoon Network of the past is "Dexter's Destroyers" You introduce the teams High Five Ghost:
Dexter- Boy Genius, the one who got his show first, and the team captain.
Dee Dee- Dexter's Sister and aspiring ballerina, co-captain of the team.
Johnny Bravo- Cassanova wannabe and all around muscle head.
The Powerpuff Girls Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup- no introduction here!
Courage the Cowardly Dog- a cowardly dog from Nowhere who lives up to his name.
Samurai Jack- A noble warrior from Japan with a magic sword.
Ed- the unibrowed boy from the Cul-de-Sac, loves gravy!
Nazz- This blonde haired beauty came from Ed's neighborhood.
Numbuh 2, 3, 4, and 5 of the Kids Next Door hey wait! Where' Numbuh 1? Oh we just got this in, Numbuh 1 is unavailable to participate do to reasons only known to Sector V themselves.
Grim: This Grim Reaper is friend/slave to Billy and Mandy and wielder of a magic Scythe.
I.R. Baboon: I.M. Weasel's best friend, rival, and primate with the big red butt.
Muscle Man then says to High Five Ghost: You know who else has a big red butt... MY MOM!
Lumpy Space Princess then ignores Muscle Man's joke and announces, "And representing Cartoon Network of the Present is "Finn's Finishers". Like, take it away Fives":
Finn the Human- Hero of the Land of Ooo, team captain.
Jake the Dog- The magic dog of the Land of Ooo, team co-captain.
Mordecai- Park Worker, slacker, Mitch's coworker, a Blue Jay who can't fly.
Rigby- Park Worker, slacker, Mitch's coworker, a Raccoon.
Gumball Watterson- a blue cat from a "Amazing World"
Darwin Watterson- a goldfish with legs from a "Amazing World"
Ben Tennyson- a 10 year old boy with the powers to transform to any alien with his Omnitrix.
Wilt: An imaginary friend who was created to play Basketball
Edwardo: Another imaginary friend, he might look like a ferocious monster, but his heart is as big as himself.
Flapjack: This young boy from Stormalong Harbor yearns to be an adventurer.
Jake Spidermonkey: This Spidermonkey is Adam Lion umm I mean Adam Lyon's gym partner.
Chowder- A apprentice chef of Mung Daal in the Catering business in Marzipan City.
Panini- Another apprentice chef of Miss Endive in Marzipan City.
Panini then looks at Chowder and says to him, "Wow num nums, we're both on the same team." Chowder then shouts at the top of his lungs, "I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Muscle Man then says to Lumpy Space Princess, "You know who else is not my boyfriend?" Lumpy Space Princess interrupts him and says, "Not now Mitch! Anyway, like here are the really rottenest villains around, the Really Rottens! Introduce them Fives":
Katz- a malicious red cat who is evil to the core... and he hates dogs.
Ice King- a wizard with ice powers, he constantly kidnaps princesses and wants to marry them.
Gunther- the penguin pet of the Ice King.
Mandark/Astronominoff/Susan/whatever- Evil Boy Genius, Dexter's Rival, and Dee Dee's admirer.
Mojo Jojo- A brilliant supervillian chimpanzee, swore enemy of the Powerpuff Girls, has a unusual speaking pattern.
Father- The KND organization's greatest enemy, I'm surprised he's not the team captain!
The Delightful Children from Down the Lane- Father's well-behaved Children, they act as one and are the rivals of Sector V.
The Red Guy- This cheeky devil has plagued Cow, Chicken, I.M. Weasel, and I.R. Baboon and refuses to wear pants since 1995.
Lumpy Space Princess then asks, "I don't get it, I don't see their captain, just who will captain the team? Muscle Man then points at the Stadium and shouts with a look of fear on his face, "LOOK!"
Arriving behind the Rottens are two cloaked figures, one is tall and the other is short and makes a snickering sound. They both wear aviator headgear.
Father then asks, "Hmm they look familiar and they better be eviler than myself OR ELSE I SHALL MAKE MYSELF CAPTAIN!"
Katz then answers back, "I think I know who it is, it's Dread Baron and Mumbly from the original Laff-A-Lympics, I recognize that snicker anywhere."
Then the tall figure answers, "Wrong! It's just us!"
As they remove their cloaks Mandark and Mojo Jojo look so shocked and amazed however the others don't happen to recognize...
DICK DASTARDLY AND MUTTLEY!
Mojo Jojo then says to the two, "I cannot believe it, it's really you! And it must be really you because you are not Dread Baron and Mumbly and if it's not Dread Baron and Mumbly then it must be really you for which I cannot believe it!"
Mandark then speaks, "I know you two, you're like the experts on being cheating, no good, dirty, lying, sneaks! Glad to finally meet you sir!"
Dick then says to Muttley, "Looks like we have a fan, eh Muttley?"
Lee Kanker then asks, "Just who are you, why are you our Captain and who's this Dread Baron anyway?"
Dick Dastardly then replies, "Well I am Richard Milhous Dastardly... and this is my faithful mutt Muttley! We started out as Wacky Racers but we never did win a race! Then for no apparent reason we were World War One pilots and we were ordered to "Stop that Pigeon", then we were following treasure hunters to pilfer their treasure, then we were children in the 90's, we raced in monster trucks in the "Fender Bender 500", and so here we are in the roles we were meant to be!
As for the Dread Baron and his mutt, he was my twin brother and Mumbly was Muttley's brother. I was unable to attend the Laff-A-Lympics because Merrill Heatter and Bob Quigley wouldn't allow us to. I waited years for this moment and since my brother and his mutt faded into obscurity it looks like we will finally captain the Really Rottens!
Father then says, "Oh really, do you have SUPER POWERS!" Father then charges up his flames but then Muttley bites his leg and Father yells out, "YEOW! Ok ok you be captain!" Muttley then snickers triumphantly as Dick then adds, "Anyone who performs a mutiny like that can answer to Muttley and the new giant robot that Klunk created for me!"
Then the Rottens see Klunk and Zilly on the sidelines, Dick Dastardly then says to the Rottens, "Good thing I still had their phone numbers after the "Vulture Squadron" disbanded, anyway me and Klunk will provide the items needed to win the gold and all you have to do is play and cheat so do we have a deal?"
Father then answers, "Well you are one of the earliest villains in history aaaand if I say no your mutt will bite my leg again so it's agreed!"
Lumpy Space Princess then comments, "Well Mitch it's confirmed, Dick Dastardly and Muttley will captain "The New Really Rottens" in place of his brother and his dog!
Muscle Man then explains the rules of the events, "Ok, now if the one team wins a event they get 25 points, second place wins 15 points while last place earns that team 10 points. The points rake up to the end of the chapter and the team will win said medal."
Lumpy Space Princess then announces, "Oh look, the torch is about to be lit by future Cartoon Network star "Uncle Grandpa", the Uncle and Grandfather of everyone in the world! Umm these new shows get like weirder and weirder... and this is coming from someone from the Land of Ooo!"
Set in the stadium in Atlanta, Georgia, the birthplace of Cartoon Network, the audience sees Uncle Grandpa running towards the center of the Stadium as he keeps saying, "Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning!" Then he stops and uses the torch to light a huge flame in place and thus, the CN Laff-A-Lympics begin... next chapter!
"Bros and Pros"
Muscle Man then announces to the audience, "Welcome sports fans to our segment where we "bros" interview the "pros" and by that it means me and Lumpy Space Princess interview a veteran from the original "Laff-A-Lympics" so this episode we have Daisy Mayhem of the Really Rottens."
Stats:
Name: Daisy Mayhem
Team: Really Rottens
Show originated: Laff-A-Lympics
description: Mean-spirited hillbilly girl with split ends in her hair.
Works well with: Sooey Pig
And then Daisy Mayhem shows up and takes a seat as Muscle Man interviews her:
Muscle Man: So Daisy what are you thoughts about Cartoon Network reviving the games?
Daisy Mayhem: They did? Then why wasn't I invited back?
Muscle Man: Well they put up a rule where those who were in the original couldn't participate and apparently Dick Dastardly took advantage of this rule, otherwise we'd invite Scooby and Shaggy back in the games. So you have a pet pig, umm Sooey?"
Daisy Mayhem: I sure do! Sooooooey!
(As Sooey shows up Muscle Man cracks up laughing)
Daisy Mayhem: Why are you laughing "Mr. Goblin man"?
Muscle Man: Your pig! He wears four shoes and yet you don't wear any? That's just funny! Hey you know who else doesn't wear any shoes? MY MOM!"
Daisy Mayhem: Well Sooey here has problems with bunions and corns on his hoofs so I gave him the only sneakers I have, plus my bare feet seem to attract fanboys.
Muscle Man: Ok that was a weird answer, well anyway I don't seem to remember you from anywhere but... what pre-existing Hanna Barbera show did you come from?
Daisy Mayhem: (sobbing) I didn't come from any! It's worse enough it was the only show I ever appeared in, thanks for rubbing salt in these here wounds!
Lumpy Space Princess: Mitch! Like, Why do you keep asking members of the Really Rottens that lumping question?
Muscle Man: But Mumbly and the Dalton Brothers didn't act like that!
Lumpy Space Princess: That's because they existed before the Laff-A-Lympics!
Muscle Man: (looks at Daisy Mayhem and needs to cheer her up) Hey Daisy, you know who else is a big fat one eyed pig? MY MOM!
Daisy Mayhem: (cheers up) Thanks "Mr. Goblin man"! Umm do you have a job for lil' ol' me?
Muscle Man: Well you can be a member of our staff if it means making amends for my immature behavior... You know who else makes amends for my immature behavior? My...
Lumpy Space Princess: THIS INTERVIEW IS LIKE OVER!
(due to the length of the next chapter, it might take a while for the games to begin soon, but it will be worth it!)